Corfu
thoughts ......
... six hours rain or more and we had to go and dine before ten - even though some of the Greeks seem to start dining at midnight.
On a table outside earshot, but within eyeshot, there was an older man was with two of his daughters it seemed to me. His face was contorted as he spoke. His right hand moved from being an axe chopping, to a fist thumping and a pointed finger jutting from a clenched fist with anger - so it seemed. He resumed speaking each time one of them began to speak.
One 'daughter' sat to his right - her body angle leaning away from him by 20 degrees. No eye contact with him. Head almost bowed. Her face without expression, still, glum, pale.
His other daughter sat on the opposite side of the table - not opposite him. Her face, from what I could see, was like her sisters.
It was not a happy moving picture.
"Reading and understanding body language isn’t just an interesting subject – in a hostile environment it can be dangerous not to.
It is an important part of letting Jesus live through us.
Not doing it can also be insensitive, non-developmental and not of the Kingdom.
So often Christian students all huddle together, laughing and chatting in the college canteen and do not even see the isolated student sitting alone at the next table.
That is non-shalom.
‘Blessed are the Shalom-makers’."
Pip Wilson from 'Gutter Feelings' ...... about 20 years ago..
Why do men so often take the 'fight' option when faced with the two options of fight or flight?
Why do so many humans only see those two options - attack or run away. Why not consider other options when we have a situation confronting us.
Like;
Listening and asking questions - and listening.
Like sharing 'how I am feeling'.
Like opening up with authentic vulnerability to set a model of a different level of communication
Like verbally valuing the confronting person in the behaviour which is demonstrating beautiful imperfection.
"I want to share my vulnerability because than I don't have to pretend anymore" said Tori Amos the singer. .......... and I love it love it.
So many humans who have attended my 'Road Less Travelled' courses over the last thirteen years, have been experiencing difficult relationships with parents. They were often middle-aged themselves and wanted to relate well to parents - but there often was a painful relationship and difficult communication.
"If the only tool we possess is a hammer - we see all the problems as a nail"
I love that quote - I love it because it challenges me to always wanting to be and become a human who is extending the repertoire of skills (tools) and they are only extended when we place ourselves in a stretch situation - filling up the toolbox does not reside in the comfort zones.
There is so much beauty in relationships - I love the activity - the hobby - the fun - the game - the pleasure .................. there is also so much pain and so many humans are clamped and stamped on by life because of relationships which are like marbles in a jar rather than relationships like a honeycomb - see previous clicks about this .........
If we have pain in a relationship ..... why not put the 'fight or flight' on the back burner and look in-between?
A middle way where it means opening up our own fragile parcel of feelings and taking the risky - learning - insecure - uncomfortable - adventurous way ............
"
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I...
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.
"
Robert Frost
liveinwonder - bhp
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