My life has been different
It is always different
but this is different.
I have been on unfocused lock-down
I am in drift
finished with the antibiotics
but not the cough
I do things without my two key words
strategic and priority
I have been clearing the decks
finding bits all over the place
(All over the place - that's my head at the moment)
I find lots of bits of paper with
thoughts
feelings
notes to self
2 do's
One today
"touching humans"
about how I touch humans
some warm
some stiff
some rigid
some recoil
some "I love a massage"
One young beautiful human
used to be stiff rigid recoil
but now she says
"You have not massaged me today"
(I only do a one minute job as humans sit at their desks)
"How come?" Pip speak, "you don't like anyone touching you but you are up for a massage?"
"Well - you are Pip"
Nice that init?
Skin Hunger
I believe in
We would rather be slapped than ignored
I Love touching finger tips with you
Love the freedom
when right
to hug
Reach out and touch ..................
I caught a programme late on TV this week called
'Cut-up kids'
about young humans
about self harm.
I have learned a lot from young humans regarding this
I have journeyed through with them
some savage
some silently secret.
There is a massive issue in how it all connects with emotions.
It one of my major interests and drives
how to understand the impact of the interior life
how it impacts on the exterior behaviour.
Saying "Just pull yourself together"
is not only not good enough
it is insensitive and oppressive.
There is a real inner 'emotional deprivation' here
which creates some massive
lack of self esteem
and lack of confidence.
Here is a poem written by a beautiful young human.
She read it out at a group work session I was leading
the discussion that followed was 'electric' .................
ANNA
=====
She'll try
To take
Break
me
She knows me
My little weak head
At the end of every beautiful thought
She'll smash it with a
distortion
One I dread
And smothered
I'll fight
I'll fight
In circles I run
Till I'm twisted and lost in her games
Her fun
And to ignore she
Her anger bleeds
And feeds
Me
To
See and feel me
Till I walk in peace
But for how long?
I wish a day or two
But you
You
Won't let me be
Won't let me love
Or love me
And maybe
Because they
Them
In their greed
Didn't
And couldn't love me
You did
You did
For a while
Nursed me from every wound
Every tear
Bounced back from black rejection
But
Here now
I've outgrown you
Friend
Bitch
Anna
Trend
Who you are
I don't know
Just leave
Me
Please please
Let me go
Go GROW Go
.
