Friday, July 13, 2012

Like being in the centre of a London Riot on a daily basis.




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THE Favourite Blogs I write are when I am full of feelings.
Those times always come with encounters with BHP's.
BEAUTIFUL HUMANS

Someone said to me recently that
they read a 20 year old book of mine and
even then
you was calling people
'beautiful humans'.

I first called someone a beautiful human when bricks
were hurled through a window when I was inside.
The encounter happened when the gang then came inside.
I knew them.
Loved them.
Was stretched/stressed by them.
It was like::
Like being in the centre of a London Riot on a daily basis.

I was drained.
I was half empty.
Yet in these exhausted moments/times
I was still creative.
In encounters.
In articulation.
In facilitation
of outside groups, even.

I remember going to
Universities, Hospitals, Youth teams
and the first words I spoke were
' I am knackered'

The listeners were faced with reality
not pretence.

So I told my story
NOT an old favourite story or illustration
but
how it was NOW
REALITY

The impact came to them
I had their ears
I saw faces with emotions riddled on them.
Lips tightly drawn back on to their teeth.

I got through to them.

Now back to the gang walking in.
I didn't get through to them.
The gang, like a raging riotous mob,
are caught up in their own feelings
of fun and power.
Power to the powerless - seems to me.

Yet years later I get comments on facebook
- how great I was!
Looking back they remember the good times.
Even spilling it to me years after.
I like it.
I like it a lot
but my memories are predominantly
of dis-satisfaction/hurt/damage ......
yet
I know I learned so much in these time.

Growth does not reside in a place called comfortable.

So I blogged and I blog
about encounters.

My next book
after the two almost launching,
is full of stories of such.
And application - reflections following experiences.

I want to share stuff -
I will always write EVEN
if no-one reads
I got to get it out.

That blast of words
comes out of feelings tonight
gone midnight.

..... and I wonder how you are feeling?



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