Monday, October 28, 2013

"Being in a relationship makes me vulnerable...."






THE DILEMMA 
"Being in a relationship makes me vulnerable, 
I open myself up to the other person, causing me pain...".

I read this in the Sunday Observer magazine.
It grabbed me because  of my commitment a journey into understanding the interior life of myself and others.

In my 1979 study of Gangs I concluded that the worst (Urban) deprivation I was considering, was not 'Urban' after all.
It was a human condition when humans numb their emotions to survive.
That then creates a crippling impact that has a massive implications on 
all relationships AND authentic communication.
Here is the full letter from the Observer - 
the response from the 'Agony Aunt'  was good I felt.


I was asked out by someone I work with.

I was put on 'the spot and said yes because I couldn't
bring my self to reject him.
I am friends with this person and didn't want to hurt his feelings.
I have problems with relationships as they make me stressed rather than happy.
After I said yes
I immediately regretted it.
Being in a relationship makes me vulnerable,
I open myself up to the other person, causing me pain,
and all I can think about is how I am no longer "hard".
When my mother died I shut off most emotion
and I don't want to let it affect me now.
I don't want to hurt his feelings
but I don't feel comfortable with aboy friend.
What should I do?