ALL behaviour has a purpose - an objective.
I have worked with ‘behaviour’ all my life.
I have HAD my own to handle.
I HAVE my own now.
It is a life times work managing my own behaviour.
I have had to learn about behaviour.
To survive often.
My books are riddled with stories about behavioural incidents.
"There is no such thing as
a difficult person -
only difficult behaviour.
We can see a persons behaviour
but we can’t see
their journey ………"
All difficult behaviour
is emotionally driven I believe.
FEELINGS can massively drive behaviours in all of us
unless we can become emotionally self-aware.
Emotionally intelligent enough to feel those feelings
AND allow them to message our brain first -
before communicating emotionally un -thoughtfully!
Emotions travel to the BRAIN
Faster than the thought process
Therefore we need to develop that skill of
throwing the switch
from ‘feelings are hitting me'
to ‘flick to the brain switch = think!’.
SO - all our behaviour has a purpose
wether it is
"Bottled up emotions
can damage their container."
We may be aware and decisive about what behaviour we exhibit
or our behaviour can be driven subconsciously.
"BLAME is a discharge of pain”
Loving behaviour has objectives::
Because we want love returned
we have a personal mission to love someone or everyone.
‘Put downs’ trigger feelings in all of us.
'Affirmations’ trigger feelings in all of us.
We need to develop responses to both to these too - appropriately !
If we are, or wish to be,
in a helping relationship
with one or more persons
we need to develop empathy
with the person we are helping.
MORESO be in touch with our own inner rollercoaster.
I have found that the worst of situations are
Aggression and violence.
We can easily default into Fight or Flight.
Instinctive behaviour rather than trained/thinking responses.
I have reflected on this before
in terms of knowing someone has dementia.
KNOWING this massively influenced my
attitude, tone of voice, expectations, sensitivity & behaviour.
If we transfer this to all behaviour
by knowing/understanding behaviour
we can better help the person
and, if it is an aggressive situation,
better manage the outcome.
Value drive this I believe.
If we love that person
all persons - we will act for their best interests
and those of others around - including self of course.