"I slashed my arm to the bone"
"I have just come out of mental hospital"
Words said as 'first words' to me.
I feel pleased because the first person has just said their first words to me EVER ............. up 'till now there has been avoidance. So I am pleased.

Accepting people as they are is always the right thing but not always the easy thing. I hate to say this but, I sometimes have an inner 'cringe' at the disaster of a life lived. Outside my first hand experience. Outside ........ the on show me ......... is a sensitive and loving me, not shocked, not cringing away ......and that is real. I have the deepest of feelings for the damaged souls. It comes down to the soul. It is not just body damage, not just mental damage, not just a lifetime of rejection ........ it is soul damage. Damaged by a collection of the above and sometimes more, and stuff we will never will know.

The damage it can do to my soul ............. it is draining and the need and skill and awareness to stay positive and loving and blessing people is a drain. That is why I need you. Need my friends. Need people who love me and accept me. That is soul food. That is the thing I live for. Giving till it hurts and receiving like the thirsty ........ I am!

So I do these things. I write and reflect and learn. I need to write because, that too, is soul food.

If you have stuck with me to the backside here. Thanx.
I will reflect again and ........ the iPod is .......IS...... fantastic.

bhp

 This is from my Dear friend Judeh who is, just like me, a ymca leader and staff member. He writes to me and I boomerang to you.

Arrest of a Third StudentoftheEast JerusalemYMCA VocationalTrainingCenter, Aqabat Jaber Refugee Camp, Jericho
 
27 May 2003 
 Dear Friends and Partners,

Ali Mohammad Ali Al-Filali(ID 907473144) is from Jericho, born on 30 October 1983, was arrested on 17 May 2003by the Israeli forces at Jericho check point and was subsequently moved to Ofraprison near Ramallah. No justifications was given for his arrest and he was informed that his trial will be on 29 May 2003.

Mr. Al-Filali is a second year student of the Office Equipment Maintenance Section. This comes during the end of the scholastic year and final examinations after which he will graduate. 

We appeal to you to advocate for the freedom of Mr. Al-Filali andthe East Jerusalem YMCA staff members and students who are still imprisoned.

 

JudehN. Majaj
General Secretary
TheEast JerusalemYMCA
 

Had a meeting today .....such fantastic people ...... still buzzing from it all .......also watching big brother as I blog and know that the nation will be locked in three weeks if not now.
Ok ... it is human manipulation but these people are still bhp's and i value them EVEN with their weaknesses and behaviour of cringe. If I work and love people with far worse behaviour ....... why not love these?
Yes ....... I have decided to make my life an act of love.
Even Big Brother humans!

And a daughter phone call says there is a Christian in the house?

hey hey .............. love intense
bhp

Just held a `prague planning day at home ........when it is backed up with glorious Joanfood ....... makes life beautiful ........ it is the ymca Greenbelt event for 8000 bhp's

bhp

Testing link back home.

The Church Times have just reviewed the crisp new Greenbelt website. Mike Starkey often at gb in the past, if not present, gave us a good review and told me stuff about our own site I had not clocked. He mentions the blog and how it rocks.

New cd,s in the locker:-
Victer Duplaix .......International Affairs
Dwele ..................Subject
Proost...................Old Hymns in dub. .......get a load of this, http://www.proost.co.uk/
..... love it love it
bhp

Today.
Mid the day.
Joan Joy and me wento church.
We were there for th baptism of Mr Singh wo calles me Mr Pip.
He gets confirmed on Sunday the 15th June 2003 and as a lead in was truly and wonderfully baptised today ......living water, wondously moving and a privelege indeed. Stephen the Vicar led the little service around the original font in this 150 year old church.

I have so many experiences and real life stories of this great man and, if my fingers worked better I would move your soul.

Now to the big Rugby League game of the day ..... hey hey
bhp

this is a contribution from someone I work with and wishes me to share....bhp

from thur hart
 
i wark into thur rum for Pips sesion and feel that this is thur onle place to unberdin my heart and let uthers now how i am feling deep down inside ov mi hart.
but ther is a problim, i find it hard to comunikate with uthers, as thur pepil seem to alwaes interrupt or start cawling me names like shorty or midgit and then i cannot lok into thier faces as i want to cri. but i canot kri here or mi life wood be made unberible.
this is thur resin that i find it hard to make frends.
but i so depiritley want them to no how i am feling when thae act like thae do towards me. i find it hard enuf to tork let alone rite about what i am feling as i am dislexic and when uthers make fun ov me i do not fel gud about miself.
i fel worthlis and not akseptid for hwo i riely am.
Pip keps teling me that i am a biutifil humin persin but it is dificilt to c that when i have this in mi face each and every dae!
                                                           
 
                                                    Raheelah Al-Abdul-Aziz

Mr Singh ......his baptism today.
I will let you know how it goes.
bhp

today
today
today
I got my new iPod and...........had to go to work without playing .............. like Christmas and cannot open the presents!! )-;
But now I am home and it IS CHRISMAS..!!!! (-:

I can now go to Italy with my whole WHOLE RECORD COLLECTION !!

BHP