hey ...... thanx for clicking these keys ......... here I am reflecting on the day and of course ahead............ ahead...........

Amongst other things today I have been preparing for the close down of one of my three jobs.
Hand-over meeting tomorrow. Funny it is ending but will be a volunteer to see stuff through and because I believe in it, the money don't count.

In the next few days I am conferencing. That has meant prep time today. One workshop and one opening session for an hour.

I make notes and spend a chunk of time preparing even though it all comes out informal. The notes are under three headings always.
1 context, I think of all the good and bad things which can face a trainer. The can be the physical space, the people, the expectations, hostility, nerves and the notes flow.
2 Objective. Always list everyone. The planned objective but also some 'by-the-way- objectives, bonus stuff. Then I clock the main ones and they go into ......
3 Options. These are the methods. The tools to use. The outcome and the different methods to get there.

After that I plan the start of the gig, the end and then a series of options so I can busk-it to meet the rolling needs of the group. All that is done for the week, but I will still stay up late each night pouring over the notes and fine tuning the thinking and the tone .

So folks ..... that is the prep and I may not be as in-ya-face during the next week coz I am away. Hope to do a daily blog and will let you know how the kingdom is coming on

............. and thanx for your emails which inspire ..... affirm ..... touch the soul ..... pip@pipwilson.com

God is.............a hook to sling your awe on
a peg for hanging up your adoration

My right knee is giving me some gip.
I remember it getting a big twist in my rugby days. Three big fellas swung me around and my foot stayed firmly in the mud. I was strapped for weeks. Painful in extreme but nothing broken.
Now it hurts with a pain in the side and general ache. Keep doing my stretches. Will get some advice in the gym.

"He jests at scars who never felt a wound" William Shakespeare

This journey, this 'road less travelled', is full of brambles.
When I did my last course called that. As with every course, people there had been caught in those thorns and carried the scars. Me too.
That makes doing a course with people who are on that journey all the worthwhile. If you feel the pain of life we are much more willing to grapple with the questions of life. If we skate over it, push it aside, it only comes back when we hit the next hurdle. Having the tools to handle life does not come naturally ...... like we cannot play the piano just because we can tap the keys with our fingers. We need the training, the skills before we can play a decent tune.

I want to feel those feeling as I journey. Feel them clock them, and then work them out. Not leaving them to fester.

It must be terrible to feel no pain.

Was a beaut to go out with daughters x 2 and their men ...... Joan only had me. Great time and it is so infrequent it has never happened before.!

Had to tape the opposition bash each other, while were out on the town, with an inevitable win by Wigin-the-pie-eaters who just happen to be our arch rivals and ..........we will play them next Friday so.............. don't ring ......... the phone will be off the hook........

Now watching Ozzie rugby league on tv and Morley the big English second row is looking good.

Feeling good as good as a person committed to being uncertain..... as I can be ...... long journey to become a fully alive human.

I will be
a 'being' person
but moreso
a 'becoming' person

A human being ...... becoming

The Saints
My team won tonight and did know it was going to be tough.
Broncos are tough and we had to play well ........ reasonably.
Next week the next do or die playoff.

Today has been trying to find the closure of my National ymca 'csd' job. I am trying to ensure I hand over well and then I will still be in there but it will be as a volunteer.

So a work a day doing my indoor stuff and catching up all the time with recorded music and my dj pete tong. Love it.

This week-end I have two good social gigs to enjoy and I must spoil all the pleasure by trying to sort out all the unpacked bags I have since I left Romford ymca some six months ago. Then I have about 500 videos which Joan is convinced need to go in the bin ...... and me ...... there is some unique stuff there, like life recorded which will be lost to eternity if I don't keep them. Decision day looms.

So I will refresh this w/e so I am fit for stretch in the future and ....... ....... ...............love both.

I love this because it 'means' to me
maybe it will to you?

CHARLIE’S SONG 311

I SIT ALONE
I WONDER WHY
WHY I CRY IN PAIN
FOR THE THINGS I CANNOT UNDERSTAND
AM I MAD OR AM I ILL
BECAUSE OF THE HURT INSIDE ME
I HURT MYSELF TO FEEL FREE
UNDER THE THUMB FOR ANOTHER DAY
THESES SCARS THAT SHOW MY MIND
SCARS THAT DO NOT HEAL
THIS IS ME WHO I AM
ACCEPT IT AND ACCECT ME
THE WONDERFUL THING IS THE PEOPLE DO
BECAUSE THE SCARS ARE NOT SEEN
I CLOSE MY EYES TO RUN AWAY
IN THE FEAR THAT I MAY DO IT AGAIN
WHEN I HURT AND IM IN PAIN
WIPE THOSE TEARS AND DRY THOSE EYES
BECAUSE PEOPLE CARE AND LOVE
YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE
THAT THE BEAUTIFUL PERSON THAT EXIST
IN YOU CAN LOVE SO MUCH
THE WAY YOU LOOK
THE WAY YOU LAUGH
THE WAY YOU LOVE
THE WAY YOUR ARE.



PETER PRITCHARD

24 SEPTEMBER 2003

Working with people who have met stress, depression and forms of mental illness, it is good to be .......... discussing Frank Bruno.
What is he famous for?
What is he infamous for?

These questions have brought out a range of observations which have come from the gut, not just the head.

We go on to warmly, with affirmation, to speculate about the benefits he may have from the bad experience ...... how it can have a positive outcome. That triggers all sorts of debate. Personal experience of a mental hospital and the drug controlled climate, plus the only added benefit of a smoke filled tv room.

Then a lead in to talk about detox, a withdrawal from dependancy on alcohol or drugs. Individuals spilling their soul about 20 years addiction to hard stuff. Great now just to see them struggle with being alcoholic not addicts of the killer chemicals.

You like me have had periods of emotional pressure. maybe depression. Breakdown or on the verge. We all have ability and disability .......... even though we try hard to hide the ugly bits eh?

Imagine what it is like without having a loving framework of family or friends.
I love these humans who I cannot name for confidentiality sake. The damage is in their faces now as I picture them. Beyond the hurt and scars there is a beautiful person, still articulate, maybe slurred, maybe ugly to your eye. I soak it and feel blessed as I struggle to understand and , non oppressively, help.

It seems to me that we can never really meet as humans unless we meet at the point of commonly grounded hurt. Never, we will never truly meet when we share only our best qualities, and success.

I am at the end of another day and the tv is mtv tuned. Radio recording another dance music channel, ipod charging and downloading the 6 new cds from Hungary ...... Sting is on tv ..... looking older!
I was pleased this week when someone guessed my age was 50!!

So ....... I take one deep slow intake of breath ........ and breath out slow .... the new comes into my soul and the waste is expelled ............ breathe on me breath of God ......... fill me with life brand new ........

DO YOU FEEL
BEAUTIFUL?

BHP

Taking several persons to bed with me tonight.

Some because I am left buzzing from the great discussions we have had in the past days ......... I always feel I am learning so much .... and amazingly it is from the most bruised humans.

Some because it is people who have crumbled, not coped with staying stable, but slipping back into a big oppressive hole. A hole which was dug by people who have failed to love them or who have been unable to love them. I feel there is so much damage done by parents who have so few skills to bring to being a positive Mother or Father.

All in all I feel good-ish .... not dragged down by so much pain...... unbearable.

I am reading a book about 'pain' and it is mind expanding.

Last thing, I have just got a little gadget for my ipod. Just as big as a forefinger, but half as long. It fits on the ipod and then, with a dinky remote control, I can operate it from the other side of any room and leave it plugged into any sort of stereo ...... 10000 watts or my simple week-end bag mobile speakers.

rock chick me!

....... and .......sorry about the joke!

I am off to bed zzzzzzzzzzzz

I am cracking up tonight so please forgive my joke:-
A man dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where he is greeted by St. Peter.

"Welcome!" he says. "Because we are currently operating at 99% capacity, we can only let a limited number of souls into heaven. Therefore, you must answer my questions correctly to gain entrance."

"Okay," says he.

"Here's your question: name two days of the week
that begin with the letter T."

"That's easy. Today and tomorrow!"

"Well, that's not the answer I was thinking of, but I'll give you another question. How many seconds are there in a year?"

"That's easy. Twelve!"

"Twelve?"

"January second, February second, March second -- "

"Okay, okay. I can see you misunderstood this question as well.
Well, Okay. I'll give you one more chance. What's God's name?"

"That's easy. Howard!"

"Howard?"

"You know -- 'Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...