I'm not here .....................

You can’t start
a new life but
daily
a new day.

Joan and the Sheilas + Cousin Julie have gone to Marrakech
I am delighted when they escape for a girlie time.
I delight in their richness
and lash myself in the poverty
that I have become
(they might bring me something nice-
bet it is a carpet for our new/possible home?)
Magic!!

Beneath the language of
a deep breath lies a secret and
silent area of a being
in relation with God.
She knows this can be very hard:
We long for more reassurance,
good marks, stars on the charts…
even for perseverance,
but no,
just a strange unworldly silence.

Still no home on the horizon
but hope resides.

Are we wise enough to know
that we can become
“pot-bound”?
Roots need airing,
and a good
movie,
read,
giving when we are in need,
conversation,
contact with the poorest in your community,
or a walk
can provide the root with air
just as personal experience
may be the soil fertilised.

I am beautiful imperfection
will you join me here?

We love to be needed
although we rarely need
to be loved.
Discuss.

Broken Relationships.
The most beautiful human experience
Can be a most powerful one-to-one relationship.
Beyond words.
Experiential.
Intimate.
Free flowing feelings.
Journey of love.

The most ugly human experience
can be a broken, destroyed and bitter separation.
Beyond human expression.
Bereavement.
Rejection.
Failure.
Damage.
Deep, deep preoccupying hurt.

Really that is enough said.
If you are feeling it
empathy is enough
maybe.

We have all read this before::

Dance like no-one is watching
Sing like no-one is listening
and
Love like you have never been hurt.

Making the best of it, after and
also preventative measures,
from my own experiences
from my own journey amongst the broken -
we can make the best of it.

Growing out of the trauma.

"Muddy paths often make
the spiritual dawn
more desirable and
the need for an ideal
more persistent."
Boris Cyrulnik

Having a group of intimate 'Level Five'* human friends.
Having several humans who we can be ourselves with -
whatever 'self' we are at any moment of time
on the roller coaster of life.

Having a spiritual journey
alongside a human one.
(Both vital)
That connectivity with a deeper and deeper YOU.
That experience of knowing
we are growing internally.
That experience of boldness
alongside the new and daily experience of vulnerability.
it is a ABILITY.

Journeying in a special relationship where unconditional love is
exhibited, demonstrated and experienced.
Always 100%.
That love that will not let me go.
That 24/7 intimacy and love.
From the source of love.
That 24/7 experience of creativity
from the source of creation.
That every-single-breath
when awake
when asleep
which connects with
the breath of God
who will not
will not
let me go.


* Search
in the search bar at the top of this blog
to see many references to 'level five'.

One thing tougher than choosing to be poorer
(He who was rich became poor, the Book says,
and that choice has a chosen destination)
'Look at him' they laughed
'Look at him' they scowled
'Look at him eating with publicans and sinners .........'

One thing tougher
than choosing to be poorer
is choosing to be vulnerable.
To show
To reveal
To undress
our vulnerability
our weaknesses.

It is a journey into a new awareness
It is a journey into new skills
BUT firstly it is a journey into
choosing to be odd
choosing to be unusual
choosing to not be like our peers
choosing to set set self, not apart, but amongst
and different and
choosing to reside in a place called uncomfortable
where growth resides.

I feel vulnerable now
right now.
I am choosing to share it .................

If we live in the best house,
the best district,
the best community,
the best city,
the best village -
the best we can afford -
we remove ourselves from
the poorest of humans.
SALT.

If we remove ourselves
from contact with the poorest
we become
Lord and Lady of the Manor
and only distribute crumbs from our wealth -
from a distance -
SALT.

Living on the edge can be::
1 Hunting every crack in the system
for personal gain
"but I didn't break any rules".
2 Choosing
Choosing to live, work, have our being,
socialising, building friendships with individuals,
ethnic groups,
different kinds of humans,
dislikable humans.
SALT.

We don't mix with those who
are different than ourselves
unless we choose.
Life decisions
Uncomfortable decisions
Learning decisions
Choosing life is not desiring
streets paved in gold.
SALT.

choose | ch oōz|
verb ( past chose | ch ōz|; past part. chosen |ˈ ch ōzən|) [ trans. ]
pick out or select (someone or something) as being the best or most appropriate of two or more alternatives : he chose a seat facing the door | [intrans. ] now it's my turn to choose.
• [ intrans. ] decide on a course of action, typically after rejecting alternatives : [with infinitive ] he chose to go | I'll stay as long as I choose.
PHRASES
cannot choose but do something formal have no alternative to doing something.
there is little (or nothing) to choose between there is little or no difference between.
DERIVATIVES
chooser |ˈtʃuzər| noun
SALT

SALT.
I ask you to consider
not pouring salt on your dinner
all placed in one spot.
Try shaking the salt pot
distributing
Adding flavour
SALT.

///////////////////////////////////////////////

Jim Punton is a man I have mentioned here before.
A great man who was principle professional support to me
spiritual/developmental support -
during the darkest years of my life.
Which also was the
most intense -
intensive change and growth.
He wrote this

"In parts of the world salt was sprinkled across the soil to help break up the compacted earth and allow moisture to sink in and allow plants to grow up. The salt acted as a fertilizer enabling new life and Jesus was drawing on this agricultural picture to show that his disciples were to be fertiliser in the world.

However, the second part of this saying was much more shocking.
In Jesus' time, at some houses, a mound of salt would be left beside a pit in the garden to cover human waste.
The salt acted as a disinfectant and as a sealant against nasty smells.
Jesus was asking his people to be up against the crap of the world."

As Jim Punton said,
'Tight up against it, protecting others from its rottenness and its decay.'
If we sit in little heaps refusing to have anything to do with the crap of the world,
we are refusing to be the salt of the earth.

Just in from a Greek Holiday.
Missed church this am
hit the wash up of all the champagne glasses
clear up of all the debris.
Then to the Greek holiday -
in our garden
catching the sun all day
listening to non-stop hip hop
lots of captured radio
Semtex/Westwood/Trevor Nelson/Eminem
mainly Eminem interviews and the new LP
'Rehab'.

It is so long since I met the sun with an opportunity
so read the paper, magazines, my current books -
and the sun
love it love it.

Someone demolished nine bottles of champagne!
The little gathering nibbled the snacks
sipped sparkle
and the conversations were eternal.
Loved seeing humans meet new humans.
You would have loved it.

I expect this is the last time we will have a gathering at Wilson Mansions.
The BBQ was given away yesterday.
Over the years we have had many BBQ's here.
International gatherings
Staff Days with excellent food.
Rolling magazine team curries
Level Fivers for over twenty years
Parties for any occasion.

Hope I can go to Greece again tomorrow as the forecast is good
and here in the UK it is a bank holiday hey hey

Playing right now on my piPhone here on my blog
- Sunday 24th May 2009

Three singers from very different cultures - singing in the same song::
Bulgarian traditional singer Eugenia Georgieva,
Indian classical artist Shahid Khan and
British opera singer Jeremy Birchall.

Bulgarian Folk Song
Robert Fayrfax ‘O Bourne Jesu’

Bikers came to the Juke Box birthday

-- Posted from Pip's iPhone
You are beautiful.
<3