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The Sheilas make a great Fathers Day

-- Posted from Pip's iPhone
You are beautiful.

Kings College

I am not used to working with students.
But always love it love it.

As always I enter a group with
nothing other than who I am.
What I do/done.

I can offer nothing to formal education.
Offer nothing but
they can culturally transpose my stuff
into their own context.
That means that they need to stretch and me too
always.

King’s has a strong academic reputation.
According to The Guardian newspaper,
King's College London,
the London School of Economics,
Imperial College London and
University College London,
each 'have international reputations that in this country
only Oxbridge can beat'.

I went to University.
Several times.
Usually on one day visits.
The University of Life
has been my education.

Last week-end a CEO told me
that his chosen career was as a result
of reading my first book -
Gutter Feelings.
I was pleased to hear that.
It was in the early 80's when I went to Coventry University
and led a week-end house-party there - and he was there.
The book was about Gangs and was read by many
in prisons around the UK and many
Youth Workers and people workers everywhere.
I have had some good feedback from prison and elsewhere.
(Hoping to republish the book soon).

Had a great time at Kings this week.
Focus on ECM
(Every Child Matters)
and in particular working on SEAL.
(Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning.)

What I find in all contexts,
that every time I ask humans
'how do you feel right now'?
they tell me what happened (Fact)
and shortly followed by
what they are thinking - not
their feelings.
This happens with students and practitioners.

If we are not in touch with our own feelings
we cannot understand the feelings of another.

Emotional Literacy is the process of becoming -
becoming more aware.
It is even more important than
NVC/Body Language.

I usually lead exercises which trigger feelings.
Then I stop to do analysis.
Reflect and learn from the feelings disturbed.
They are real feelings.
Maybe disturbed in a one minute role play.
But real and powerful.
We can learn so much from these situations.
I love it love it.

Learning to love comes out of these experiences.
Love is the most powerful means of humans deciding to seek change
development
growth
liberation
justice.
I am in love with love
and divine love.
my way, is my way
past
present
future .............

Working with the working class -
the urban poor -
the bottom end of our society,
in some peoples view!!

The work with them has so often been 'working' for them and not with them'.

So often the superior attitudes by in-comers into their communities, has been paternalism.

This is so often rejected and resented.
Because ...... they have been too verbal,
only 7% of communication is verbal, and conceptual.
55% is facial expression.
The rest is all the rest of our human frame.
Communication and
human lives lived
needs to be experiential and solidly concrete.
The working class poor can read us like a book - even if they don't read books.
Books have been replaced by so many.
The main thing is authenticity.
That is another word for love.
They can tell if we love them.
They read us.

I do some training in the issue of 'Participation'
because many Housing or Youth projects are
under pressure from government, and monitoring groups,
to 'involve' their clients.
The problem, so often,
is that the whole organization is top down paternalistic.
Too verbal and conceptual
and does not encourage participation
NOT EVEN amongst professional staff.
So much for the incarnational ...........

I sit here tired.
Not a bad thing.
Tired is a result of doing.
'Duvet diving' is, usually, a result of needing to hide away.

Joan is watching Cricket and Football on TV zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Some humans talk about cricket as if it is oxygen to the world!
But great - the football season has finished
BUT it is still on TV and the new season starts soon!!
zzzzzzzzzzzzz
You can see how Big Brother is such light relief from all this sport -
and then WIMBLEDON starts soon screammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Here I am hid away listening to Q Tip as I click.
hmmmmmmm heaven.

Had an email from Adolfus in Australia today.
Great man leading a Youth Work project on Youth Parliament stuff.
I miss the coffee chats.
I miss his energy and enquiring mind.

I am listening to Nitin Sawhney now - he reminds me of when Richard and Adolfus went with me to see him at the London Albert Hall.
British Asian creating beautiful blends - have all his Albums.

And low and behold - Richard phones from the USA - just now.
I spoke to Jen and Richard.
We went to their wedding in Oregon in December 2007.
A journey and experience of a lifetime.
Great to catch up but miss the eye-ball-to-eyeball with my international friends.

Control click saves my life.
On a Mac, any word showing a wrong spelling, I just hold ctrl and click and bingo - the correct spell is revealed!
I save face from showing myself to be an idiot - to you :-)
But here I go trying to be mask less again ........................

I want to blog about::
THROWING UP.
When I was coming home to the family. Back home from working with youth gangs and the tension picked up from me -
was driving Joan into the toilet being sick.
Throwing up.

I want to click about managing emotions.
Not controlling emotions - note the difference.
But I am emotionally drained right now - so - I will re-energise and return later ...................

Thank you for visiting and reading my fumbling stumbling words.

Why am I afraid to tell you who I am. Is the title of my favorite book.

-- Posted from Pip's iPhone
You are beautiful.

Been working in Kings College this week. Will blog about it tonight.

-- Posted from Pip's iPhone
You are beautiful.

You know when you tidy up when guests are expected?
Well - Wilson Mansions is in the worst state ever.
It is battle zone.
Pre packing zone.
Junk out zone.

We are still waiting a green, or red light.
We are on permanent Amber.
All the clearing has resulted in a slowly moving woman.
Joan is moving slow, hesitant, gentle.
All due to the loft visits
Home downsizing
outloading years of archives
And then the back went yesterday! ouch.
A little better as today proceeded.
So we cannot do it all continuously.
One bite at a time = eliphant sandwich
Still no home on the horizon.

Champagne::
So champagne is the answer.
We have a few bottle because
my birthday/Joan's/and the Juke Box rebirth.
So Champagne went in the fridge.
We also have a long lasting bottle of Kir!
So - in our friend Annabel's stylie,
I suggested a daily glass of Kir Royal
before our evening meal hey hey!
How's that for a cure for back pain?
///////////////////////////////////////////////////
My mind is always churning around communication.
Sometimes a group is formed without any preparation.
No by the person or support from staff.
It is great when a residential conference is called -
intensive, concentrated time supported by those back home.
Other times humans just turn up.
I am an alternative to boredom and I start to create a group and
facilitate an experience.

In many ways dealing with volunteers is best.
In schools they are pressed to attend.
I am an alternative to bunking off or
receiving school reprimands.

Whoever they are, I need to start where they are at.
That is the first challenge.
Then keeping the momentum of interest.
It is not only needs to be interesting but have a developmental objective.
So I always aim for an experience - experiential stuff.

Some humans will listen to me when I tell stories and talk with passion.
Also they will do things - activities with clay, paper, challenges etc but not
talk, share, discuss or reflect in any way.
THAT dear beautifuls is a challenge.

My mind churns and creates.
The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas.
Often the churning creates many options.
Some are not used in the the current context but -
they can be just right for the next group.

I am just sharing stuff with you .....
and I wonder all the time who you are -
I never know it is you who is peeking into the blog.
I don't know what takes your emotional yearnings and
what you create - create out of pressure - create out of being a creator
after all - you are made in the image
of the ultimate creator.

In fact
you are beautiful ........................

I have been working away so I have not really blogged to my liking - needing.
I need to reflect.

For three days I was leading a gathering in a Hotel near Birmingham - the second city in the UK. Creative and radical humans have a vision to integrate the young humans who are living in hostels, because they are in need, young humans who are starting to volunteer and are becoming not just takers but makers. The idea was to bring them together for a day and a half to prepare them to meet up with their CEO's and Chairs of their charity.
My job was to create a learning experience for the young beautiful humans aimed at helping in their equipping for life and particularly to take initiative in leadership when the Officers arrived.

Always my number one Joy is being with young humans who have had tough times, bruised, hurting, knocked off the tracks and striving, through multiple deprivations, to 'walk on' in their lives.

It was electric. They were great.
There was a mixture of young vibrant staff, fragile and new to volunteering, the loud, the vulnerable.
It was great - we did Level Five stuff. No messing about. We played games - watched film clips and lots of 'motion changes emotion'.

Example:: one BHP who could not look me in the eye at the start - timid and uncertain, became the best of friends by the end. Friend for life.
Two days seemed to last a week. We moved from being strangers to BE a loving and sensitive community.

THEN on the last day the Officers arrived and they led a group work session, a developmental group work session, which was all about Servant Leadership, participation, involvement and leadership. They did what they would never have considered doing. Did it well and now want to change the world.

They led the groups using five activities in a process. All leading to deeper and deeper levels of communication. They used Play-do, Matches, Blob Tools, a Ball and their natural sensitivity and streetwise skill.
It was so Stinking good I could scream ..................

Top left to right::
Doug McWilliam, Liz Ward, Me, Geoff Flynn and
Joyce Mealand bottom left corner.



The Sheilas were slaving with Joan over the week-end whilst I was away.
Attack the attic!

The results were loads of memories as they discovered dolls from childhood, dresses from play fashion shows and real fashion shows. The attack opened up a memory lane of a family life - now going outside in black bags - on the way to the Charity Shop.

Charity Shops.
Today Joan and I loaded the car full to transport to our regular charity shop belonging to St Francis Hospice, a local charity. It was seats down in the Prius and rammo car loads. We were turned away by two elderly ladies. We will not be going there again after years of visits. Volunteers to the hilt, these ladies, but they said to us "Some people use us as a dumping ground". Hmmm. If we wanted to dump we could leave it at our front on a Tuesday night and it would be gone by morning.
So we went to the local Salvation Army Shop with two massive car loads and received the warmest of welcome, co-operation and fun exchanges.

Whilst we were there delivering I had a call from Joy Wren who informed me that her Mother, Joyce Mealand, had died yesterday.
Joyce was an Angel. She ran the coffee bar in the Mayflower Club in Canning Town, East London - and much more than that. She was a full member of the youth work team and staff. A real Mum to all the kids. She was able to say things to the kids, as a local Mum, that I couldn't. She was majestic so loyal and loving in every way. Going around to here home and sit in her kitchen with a cup of tea was a real treat. I loved her and still do.
It has been 24 years since we worked together.
Thank you God for the beautiful human that is Joyce.

If you worked alongside me in those days - or know someone who did - please pass on the sad news.

When we returned home to continue to dredge our home in readiness for an expected move, but still no home on the horizon, Joan pulled her back and spent the next three hours in bed.
Hmmm. She is now walking - but only just!!