Monday, September 01, 2014

#BLOBTREE Blob Tree Materials for #BackTo School


#Mental #Illness hitting a #Family

The Kronicles of my Krazy Escapades
Friday, August 29, 2014
The Other Side of the Story: honest, raw, transparent musings about the effect of mental illness on families.

I can't remember the moment I began to fear my mom.  
But I remember with great clarity the way this fear made me feel.
A rush of thoughts ran through my mind rapidly with panic in its undertone.

"Karyne is a friend from over the Atlantic
We connect through our separate journeys
that we experience - emotionally, spiritually, 
as beautiful humans working at life and mental health.

I BLOG repeatedly that12 Men 
will commit suicide in the UK today.
I am concerned that many hide their BHP selves 
away so afraid of vulnerability and shame
that they cannot share/TALK! to anyone about it.
Karyne has blogged this - so powerfully real.
She has given me permission to post here.
I share it with you hoping it will help you
and others through you.
Please share. .......... Pip BHP"

"Remember this is her illness."
"Oh my dear God, my mom may injure me."
"Remember this is her illness, it is not personal."
"Oh my dear God, protect dad and I."
"Remember this is her illness." 
"Oh my dear God I cannot call the police on my own mother."
"Remember this is her illness talking." 
"Oh my dear God, help us." 
"Oh my dear God, look into her eyes. 
They are empty, blank, evil, confused. 
This is not my mom standing before me." 
"Remember this is her illness." 
"Oh my dear God, she hates me, 
her own amazing daughter who would do anything for her." 
"Oh my dear God, what are those words coming out of her mouth - 
horrifying, abusive words she doesn't  know what she is saying." 
"Remember this is not personal, it is her illness, this blasted disease." 
"Oh my dear God, she is saying she wants to end her life." 
"Remember this is her illness." 
"Don't let your fear give you away. Stay calm." 
"Remember this is her illness. It is not her fault." 
"It is not your fault." "Keep loving her. 
Don't stop. 
Pray you won't remember these terrifying, damaging times." 
"It is her illness taking over her precious mind."

I hate this disease. It is so unfair that it attacks beautiful humans and latches on with all its might. They did nothing to deserve this horrible illness. I hate how it destroys the lives of families. I hate how it destroys and torments the lives of precious humans. I hate there is still a stigma surrounding it. I hate that I have had to keep it secret out of respect for my mom and for my dad.  I can no longer.

The pain is too much.  It is a silent killer. I am slowly watching my mom die- that vivacious, caring, compassionate, gregarious, organized woman has ceased.

I am slowly watching my dad die too.  He is 81 years old and is exhausted caring for his bride of 57 years. For better or worse, in sickness and in health.  The cynic in me questions these vows.  At the end of my dad's life, where have these vows gotten him?  My dad is an amazing, courageous, strong, compassionate, gregarious, musical soul who would do anything for anyone.  I know God has kept him alive on this planet for a reason. He still has so much to offer the world. Yet, he is hindered. Having to deal with my mom and the stress is taking its toll on his health. It breaks my heart. It makes me angry. I'm not ready to lose my dad yet.  When my dad  has moments of wanting to leave my mom, I tell him it is okay.  Maybe it is not my place. But I say it out of love and to allow him to see there can be a way out when it seems there is not. However, being the incredible human soul that my father is, he doesn't want to abandon his bride.  He made that commitment years ago and he wants to honour caring for his bride "in sickness." He loves her.  She is his life.

 I hate that as a family our hands are tied and we cannot get my mom the help she needs until it seems it would be too late.   I understand the Mental Health Act was put in place to stop abuse but it is now hindering families from helping their loved ones. Unless we take drastic measures we have to sit and wait.  And watch.

Watch the frightened look deep in my mom's eyes and soul.  Watch her paranoia worsen.  Watch the helpless feeling she is experiencing but cannot express.  Watch the depths of her soul know something is terribly wrong with her but for some reason is refusing to get the help she needs.

Over the years my mom has managed her bipolar disorder. However, as she has aged, specifically this past year, she has not been managing it well at all.

Families are forgotten. In the mismanagement of the disorder, families suffer greatly, if not more, in my opinion. We have to learn to cope with it and constantly figure out the new "mystery" rules my mom has put in place.  We constantly have to "walk on eggshells" out of fear of what my mom may do. We constantly are trying to repair fractured friendships.  We are constantly trying to solve embarrassing situations. We are constantly having to sort out the practical living issues that arise due to her illness.  I have to watch my father have breakdowns and he likewise has to witness my meltdowns when the stress is too much.  We constantly have to hear horrifying words that pierce straight to our heart and pray they are not absorbed into our spirit.

The way we have learned to cope in order to live with this precious woman with a horrible disease doesn't always work.  We are learning new ways to cope and learning how to change some of our strategies that have not been useful. However, when it comes to family, it is emotional. So we have to do what needs to be done in order to survive.

Dad and I are learning it is okay to share our pain with our community of friends and is not being disrespectful to mom. We have to allow these wonderful people sharing this journey with us to make their own conclusions. So we have been pleasantly surprised at the acceptance rather than the judgemental, hurtful stigma we have experienced in the past.  We are grateful they still love my mom and see past this illness to the true person she was created to be sharing space on this planet.

My exhortation to those of you reading this post is this:

As you walk past a person who seems out of sorts and you want to dismiss them as being crazy,
think of their family.

If you are afraid of someone with a mental illness, think of their family.

And don't be  frightened. They are more like you than you realize.  They are just trapped inside their mind with a horrible disease.

But think of their family.  Their family is just like yours.  No different.

Imagine the suffering their families are having to endure.

Show compassion not fear.

Offer a genuine smile.

And think of their families.

This is the other side of the story.


In the middle of writing this post, my mom was admitted to the hospital. The police actually picked her up yesterday for driving dangerously (Another blessing because she cannot blame us for taking her to the hospital). It is a long story (and miraculously no one was hurt or killed), but God had every detail in place.  My father and I feel tremendously relieved she is getting the help she needs. It has been difficult to watch but we know she is in good hands now. It has been what we have been praying for all summer. She is safe. We are safe.  We are praying as her mind and body heal she will diligently keep on the meds prescribed to her so she will get back to living her life to the fullest as a "beautiful human person." (Pip Wilson)

Sunday, August 31, 2014

If you want a #Trainer / Learning #Facilitator - have a look see.

I am asked lots of questions about what I do and methodology.
Here I have outlined a few of what I can offer.

Ideas of some, only a few, of what I can do to meet training needs, getting teams working together, buzzing with ideas and moving on dynamically. 
I have used these methods with Staff from the Corporate sector, with a £4b turnover, YMCA Teams and Boards, Young Humans, Prison Staff, Residents in Homeless Hostels - and more.
All sessions are conducted in a relaxed and active way. 
'Motion changes emotion' 
is a key - the aim is to keep everyone participating, stretched in a gentle sense and engaged


Friday, August 29, 2014

#Greenbelt Reflection "I repeatedly found myself irritated at myself"

I have had mails from all sorts of BHP's since Greenbelt.
A whole spectrum.
Great to get feedback

Some are personal reflections 
about themselves (as I did in my reflection below)
Others reflect on the music/art/bands/talks and friendships starting or developing.
All stimulated by a big experience which Greenbelt IS.

A number of people bring THE BLACK DOG to the Festival.
Amongst the thousands there must be many.
(if you don't understand the term 'Black Dog' an easy/quick discovery is watching this video

Many times on my Blog I click about tough emotional times.
You can search keywords on my ' ' 
I talked at Greenbelt about the fact that 
12 men in the UK 
will commit suicide today
(and every day)

I facilitate learning in this area 
always part of the sessions I facilitate.
because our emotional well-being 
impacts on the whole of life
all our lives.

When I received the link to this Greenbelt Reflection
I asked if I could link to it
BECAUSE I believe we all can learn
and some maybe blessed by it.
All of us will learn and become more empathetic.

This is a little out-take followed by a link to the Blog

"While I struggled to switch off and allow myself to really be there at the festival, 
I repeatedly found myself irritated at myself for not being able to let go and properly engage with the experience, 
but there were moments of peace throughout the weekend.

Before the last act of the festival the compere of the venue, Pip Wilson 
suggested that we go home and reflect on our moment of the festival, 
the one that touched our hearts, 
made us connect with the world or the people around us or one that made us feel loved… 
I had already been thinking along those lines during the day, 
pondering the many acts I had seen and the conversations I’d had, 
what parts had reached in and found a way to bring light into that familiar darkness…......"

Have a read MORE/HERE and be empathetically blessed ::


#GreenbeltFestival ................... Watching the crowd

#GreenbeltFestival ...................

Watching the crowd at Boughton 
was like observing the beginning of 
a love affair. 
No wonder the campers want to get closer.


#Josephine and the Artizans #GREENBELTFESTIVAL #Opera lead singer and #HipHop rappers with a massive band

Listen here

Have listen to these beautifuls

Love 'Josephine and the Artizans' who I saw in the Big Top at Greenbelt.
Mix of an Opera Voice and HIPHOP - with a band of 10
FantasTic stuff

#PipWilson #Trainer #Facilitator Coach - Details

"The only kind of learning which significantly influences behaviour is self-discovered or self-appropriated learning - truth that has been assimilated in experience." - Carl Rogers 
"Retention is best when the learner is involved."   -  Scannell

#PipWilson ABOUT - it's the time of year when I offer myself for HIRE!!

This bit
is about.

A chunk of stuff on a 'ABOUT' page
providing info if you want to consider hiring me.

Check out

Thursday, August 28, 2014

#PipWilson #Learning #Facilitator #Trainer Group Worker

My Mission, never called WORK, since I left factory life at age 26, 
is to reach out to the hard to reach - full time. 
I have a passion to reach out to:: 
Those on the fringe of a group, the loudest teenage gangs, the hard surfaced 
(who ALL have beautiful souls) 
facilitating learning experiences for workers on urban frontiers who are working to support young humans who are often seen as disposable by systems and government policies.

Specialising in Experiential Learning, Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Literacy, Managing emotions and managing my own behaviour to be able to assist others to manage their own, often vitally critical, behaviour.
Creating and using Blob Tree Tools to facilitate humans on their self determined life journey.

I am often asked 'what do you do' ......... and it is not simple to explain experiences of learning.
They are all different - unique because each individual and the group are.
This is something in a way of introduction.

I am good at conducting starter sessions at conferences and any gathering of humans, large or small. 
I am used to large numbers - and love small groups of course.

I have facilitated sessions for qualitative researchers, school staff, prison staff, youth workers, clergy, business teams, CEO's, Chairs CEO's and the young people they serve - together.
I can get all sorts of humans into a climate of trust and therefore willing to take risks for their own development.
I find that I can share things from my own work, without knowing much about other professions present, 
and participants can take the principles and transpose them quite easily to their own work and challenges.

I do verbal input all the time, in an Informal Education style, but usually have all present on their feet and moving about::
- motion changes emotion 
- being active 
- having fun 
- opening up beautifully ...... 
and usually they find this refreshing and energising. 

Also I use Blob Tools and other methods which engage humans and draw them into each other and out ....
Once I am there with you and objectives agreed -  
I will facilitate as many sessions and inputs - dialogues as requested ...... I like to work hard and relax hard!

I would need to see your objectives. 
I will need to become aware of context and issues around and within the group I will work with.

They are some opening thoughts as I listen to Sigur Ros - an Icelandic group ...... so beautiful ......

Please use the CONTACT on my website. 
A few minutes chat may help.

Pip Wilson.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

#PipWilson enjoying Sunday morning at #GreenbeltFestival

#OwenJones giving it so powerful at #GreenbeltFestival + after chats

#BLOBTREE at #GreenbeltFestival - which one was you?

Andy Beautiful and BHP

#GILLESPETERSON - a great #mix to listen to as you surf ** 2 HOURS FREE!!!!

If you LOVE Gilles Peterson as I have for years and years ......HERE is some great vibes - reminds me of Greenbelt if you caught him there and great to listen to as you surf the web - lets it roll ................

FEELINGS and Reflections from #Greenbelt Festival #GB14

(Artwork started developed and created at Greenbelt over the week-end)

It's 4am -ish
I can't sleep
meaning I have been
but now wide awake!

I feel like
I have just stepped out of one world
into another world.
For 6 days I have been away
at the Greenbelt Festival.

If you know what this is
you won't need to read this bit
but you will
because you will be interested.

is a a once a year festival
of faith arts and justice.
I have been there for 37 years.
Every year since 1977.

I have been a member of the Board
since 1986 - maybe a year more?
That is 28 years of involvement.
Volunteering of course.
I have now retired from that role.
Officially a couple of months ago
but actively at the festival JUST !

BUT I am writing here about FEELINGS
and I have reverted to FACTS
just to make clear for those outside the frame.

The feelings are positive and good.
BUT all a bit weird.
No different than 'every year' really.
GB is a captivating experience
and it seems I enter another world for 6 days
then come back to real life.
An every year experience.

This year I was asked to attend daily Board meeting
as this festival was my last
but I was busy volunteering in different roles
so I only made the last one on the last day.

I had been asked to compere in the Big Top.
Our biggest indoor venue - capacity 3,000 BHP's.
And I loved it!

I have been on stage at Greenbelt and elsewhere for many years
and used to standing in front of large or smaller crowds.
I love to communicate.
Love to engage people
with fun and stretch and purpose.
it was refreshing to be engaged like this after a few years 
when I have't been active enough to satisfy self.
I always want to 'do' things - my mission things
not just anythings.

I also led a training session for the on site Youth Work Team.
It was great.
The team was made up of all age leaders
with a range of experience
and I loved being with them.
Loved it!

The were great and we connected.
I would love to write it up as a experiential event
for my next book!

There was Compere meetings
Volunteers meetings
Greenbelt Angels meetings
A curry meetings
and all the time human engagement with 
countless new people and many many who I have met 
or known over many years.
THAT alone is personally satisfying to me.
Colliding with humans
Love it.

I love the team operating in the Big Top.
All new humans in my life.
Some were the tech team from an outside company
Sound, lights, on stage sound and video,
others were GB volunteers managing the total operation
from morning until late night.
Truly beautiful humans - the lot.
Martin, Pete, Dave - great job.
Amy Beccie Tom and others, who I forget their names, - 
big up thanx from me for all you did
and all you are.

I als had 121's with BHP's
and also did a Ted type talk in GTV.
This is Greenbelts Ted talk stuff.
Filmed for future broadcast on GB website
and YouTube.
I was asked to do 8 minute with the title
'5 Ways to be a BHP'.

Never done this sort of thing before.
I am not a talker.
I am a facilitator/inter-actor
and always want to engage.
We had fun including singing together
a fun song for a a minute or so.
Loved it - I will make it available for you
in due course - maybe months before you or I can see it!

so I can't sleep on the back of a great time.
It is a mere adjustment to time frame 
environment and life itself.

I have no bad feelings about the Festival.
I ride the waves.
I feel for many I met.
I clock problems to sought.
I met many people who are hanging on in there.
but most of the people were temporary contacts.
Some were people who I have deeper longer relationships with
and they will continue to be part of my life.
AND I love that.

I feel deeply for the festival.
The people who slaved there guts out.
Staff Volunteers, Trustees - also volunteers.
We had over 1500 volunteers running the festival 
dedicated humans doing one piece of the jigsaw puzzle
so wondrously - beautiful imperfectly like us all.
I love that.

I was so tired this year.
Ove the years I have worked from morn to very late night
and done that willingly and enthusiastically.
My age is telling as I just can't do the hours now!
I tried to pace myself.
Going from the hotel later when I was committed to late nights
but also coming back much earlier than ever - so tired.

I saw none of the top of the bill MainStage artistes.
Missed many gigs with people I know and love.
All because I had had enough.
 I wan't even a late nighter in the hotel bar as I have been.
That has been normal for years.
Having a pint until 2 or 3 am has been the norm and a 
big part of the powerful festival relationship making and building.
So Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings
I left site early to return to hotel KNACKERED.

Monday night
the last night
I was there until midnight
compering the BIG TOP last gigs
and aiding the communication
to many who were hit by the bad news
of not being able to leave the site
due to the massive amount of rain!

Sunday I left at 7pm !
I am uncertain if it is my health or ageing?
I know I didn't eat well at the festival.
Healthily or regularly.
I don't eat sweet things or fatty things
so festival food isn't the best so I generally
had a home made quality Pizza from my fav tent
and the rest of the time it was healthy 'health bars'.

I have ben moved emotionally.
I have been stirred in my passion to live justly
I have been blessed by so many people
new ones
older friends and contacts - loved it.

I feel I have lots to offer
want to offer
experience and ....... more
but not got the same energy to live with those desires.
Strange feelings.
I just can't burn myself out like I used to to!
The burning out seems to come at me me rather than my choosing.

I have so much ore reflecting I want to do.
I want to spill.
I want to tell you about everything.
The inner happenings.
The human encounters.
The feeding of my soul.
The fragility of my body and soul.
My being
My becoming.

So feelings wise.
! Great Festival !
Shame about the rain on the last day.
A beautiful place to belong and yearn and live.
Still love it all - yearn for the people and the challenges.
Want to be of use
and seek it's Shalom
because in it's Shalom
I will find my own Shalom.

Going back to bed I think.
Will try to sleep.
Tomorrow I will be more adjusted to life.
Clearer in my head.
Able to get on with life.
STILL reflecting and learning from life experiences.

Loving you
but always with all I have to offer.


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

@Greenbelt - my poem to tune us in to all BHP's at #GreenbeltFestival #GB14

@ Greenbelt .......

Help us remember that the idiot who cut us up in traffic
is a single Mother who has worked nine hours that day
and is rushing to Greenbelt to cook a meal and settle the kids down
so they can have a good first day at the festival
and spend a few precious moments with her friends
who have saved hard to get to Greenbelt.

Help us to remember that the pierced, 
tattooed, disinterested young man
who can't handle his change correctly
is a worried YMCA Hostel resident 
who is behind in his rent
and cannot afford the cheapest hotdog on site.
At the same time balancing his apprehension over his fear
of not getting on well with the group he came with.

Remind us Lord, that the scary looking young woman
rolling her eyes and cannot stop moving her body,
is a recovering slave to addictions
that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Remind us that the scars of the self harming woman,
scarred for life,
is just like me with my scars
that and hinder and equip at the same time.
And remember that we, maybe,
can just hide ours better.

Help us to remember that the old couple
walking annoyingly slow through the festival site
and blocking our process
are savouring this moment,
knowing that, based on the biopsy report 
she got back last week,
this will be the last year 
that they will be at Greenbelt together.

Creator God, remind us each day that, 
of all the gifts you give us,
the greatest gift is love.
That it is not enough to share that love 
with those we hold dear.
But those for who,
on first impressions,
make us shudder, or sigh 
or grunt with irritability.

Open our soul and press your finger tip 
right on that part,
the part to raise your love to the surface.
So it touches the practical.
The proactive.
The love department.

#GillesPeterson at #GreenbeltFestival THIS Sunday - get in with a Day Ticket

#GreenbeltFestival #Weather - last one before I head off

Great #Pipturesque images of #Greenbelt past as love and LOOK forward to tomorrow

#Greenbelt - You are beautiful