Saturday, January 21, 2017
"There is no such thing as a difficult person
only difficult behaviour."
"We can see a persons behaviour
we can’t see their journey."
"Assume everyone is doing their best.
Risk being wrong - feeling stupid."
These are my sort of values.
Thy click in my brain regularly and in my communications attitudes audible offerings - my living.
I have spent my life working with BHP’s with difficult behaviour -
even before I was responsible for a Young Offenders unit aged 27.
My behaviour has been outrageously bad over the years.
I regret much of my behaviour in the past.
But every bad experience has been a learning experience.
I see his behaviour::
He is a beautiful human person!
It is hard to say this but you are, I am -
and it’s hard to say that of myself - but never of you.
Donald is beautifully created but I can see his behaviour too.
I have struggled all my life to understand a persons behaviour.
Striving to love them as they are, as I believe God does,
not just loving when they are ‘nice’.
I have found that the only way to get to some understanding
it to get to Level Five communication with a person -
a group can do that too!
That means reaching some depth of intimacy by sharing our life experiences together
always ALWAYS including sharing vulnerabilities …………
I don’t understand Donald.
Like all of us - he wears a mask.
He has decided what that is.
I don’t like his choice.
I would find it much more satisfying to see the real person however tough that my be.
I wonder what he is like behind the mask?
I wonder what his interior world is like?
I wonder how he deals with
shame …….. ?
I expect there be scandal along the line.
Real upset for individuals and the nation.
AND whats so good about being great.
GREAT and LOVING feels good to me.
GREAT and powerful not so good - we can become ego based from that position.
He who was rich became poor - one of my favourite quotes.
I don’t understand Donald.
I fear for the USA and the World.
AND pray for us all - that we may learn from the
ugly as well as the beautiful.
* . ☾ °☆ ¸.* ● ¸ . ★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * . YOU * . ☾ °☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . ★ ° ☾°☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . ★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * :. *. ¸ ★ . * :. *. ¸ ★ . . * . ☾ °☆ ¸.* ● ¸ . ★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * . * . ☾ °☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . ★ ° ☾°☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . ★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * :. *. ¸ ★. * :. *. ¸ ★ . . * . ☾ °☆ ¸.* ● ¸ . ★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * . * . ☾ °☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . ★ ° ☾°☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . ★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * :. *. ¸ ★ . * :. *. ¸ ★ . . * . ☾ °☆ ¸.* ● ¸ . ARE★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * . * . ☾ °☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . ★ ° ☾°☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . ★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * :. *. ¸ ★ . * :. *. ¸ ★ . . * . ☾ °☆ ¸.* ● ¸ . ★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * . * . ☾ °☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . ★ ° ☾°☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . ★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * :. *. ¸ ★ .. * :. *. ¸ ★ . . * . ☾ °☆ ¸.* ● ¸ . ★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * . * . ☾ °☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . ★ ° ☾°☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . ★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * :. *. ¸ ★ .. * :. *. ¸ ★ . . * . ☾ °☆ ¸.* ● ¸ . ★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * . * . ☾ °☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . BEAUTIFUL★ ° ☾°☆ ¸. * ● ¸ . ★ ° :. * . • ○ ° ★ . * :. *. ¸ ★ . . * :. *. ¸ ★ . . * . ☾ °☆
Friday, January 20, 2017
Once we know some has dementia we are naturally more sensitive in our attitude and language - we can change because of our new knowledge - APPLY HERE.
Those #feelings you have.
They are not a judgement on you -
they are signals
to learn to read,
learn to manage.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Below is a little membership card is framed in my home office.
I had been a member for a few years.
Beatles and all the 'beat groups' used to play there.
All were warm up acts for the Jazz bands at the top of the bill.
In 1961 I had my first date
with Mrs Beautiful-to-be.
The first date was me taking her to the
in my little grey Morris Minor van.
We didn't see much of the bands
as we were kissing all the time at the back.
You can tell is wasn't a lasting relationship!
It's not going to last -
it's just one of those fleeting relationships of …….. 50+
Here is some feedback
from a school teacher to me
about one of her students
following one of my sessions::
'She left rather like an angry lion
- and whilst it would be untrue to describe her later return as a 'lamb'
- she entered the room in a wholly appropriate manner
- mild but confident.
And joined in immediately with our activity.
I spoke with her quietly before she left.
She told me she had thoroughly enjoyed your sessions
and fully and positively acknowledged her change in thinking/approach.
Something had impacted significantly upon her.
She explained that the session had allowed her
to examine and express her feelings -
she has said before that is what she needs to be able to do - and we have previously talked about appropriate ways to do that.
However she has admitted she often struggles to do that.'
This young woman had been through a facilitated group process with her peers and me.
Simple non-threatening exercises with Blob Tree materials, mini film clips & interaction.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
My friend Ulli from Germany sent me a link to this. We are now in this time SERIOUSLY ..................
My friend Ulli from Germany sent me a link to this.
We are now in this time SERIOUSLY ..................
I have been thinking about this Belonging stuff for some time - years …
This week I published an article on my website about BELONGING -
I believe in it.
So I wanted to reflected deeper.
* What has been my BELONGING history.
* What has been normal in my life and what has changed.
Maybe you can do the similar?
I belong to the Level Five Group. For 36 years and counting
We come together for meals and all sorts but the big one is when we have a Level Five week-end.
That is when we get intimate with each other. Listening to each other - wondrous experience ever time.
I value that deeply.
Search my website with 'L5' or ‘Level Five’ to get some understanding.
Up to a few years ago my belonging was with::
The Greenbelt Festival Board of Trustees - a real group where I contributed and where belonged for some 30+ years
That ended that a couple of years ago. My term had ended.
A gang of us via Greenbelt contacts used to meet up for a curry in Brick Lane, every couple of months for years.
We don’t meet now. I find it a drag coming home from London late at night now a days. And I am not so keen at driving in the dark so much now.
I belong to a Church Community of all ages backgrounds professions strengths and weaknesses as with any group of humans.
I get a greater buzz from the humans than the service itself ……...
I have always had a workplace community from the age of working in a factory when I was 15.
I have been freelance since 2003 and missed a full-time community - I have always previously worked/lived 'in community’.
My workplace has always been very much a community - and I guess for you too. Now my workplace is in my home office + various venues when I meet people or facilitate a conference etc..
The first 7 years of being freelance I was regularly working in different YMCA communities for one or two days a week - so I was very much part of their communities. I felt I belonged, ongoing relationships - journeying..
NOWADAYS I get great stimulus, human interactions, feedback, stretching passion, giving and taking when I am conducting my Training/Facilitation sessions around the nation (and Norway in two weeks time).
These are groups, and communities sometimes, which I dip my toe into - but they are fleeting rather than belonging.
So group-wise ….. I have the 'Level Five Group' and church.
+ Lots of 121 relationships and encounters both locally and in my London cafe …...
+ Online stuff which is good but it’s not touching flesh, reading faces, feeling their breath …..
As people get older and less active it is so easy for them to pull up the drawbridge and watch TV.
'I desire intimacy’
(the first three words in my book PIP WISDOM from a few years ago) -
and desire to belong and believe every human does -
but some are not able to take that risk for their own becoming ……
Just a little reflection which wanted to reflect with you …..
and maybe publish in my next book!
Do you belong?
Is it enough?
Is it too much?
Have you a strategy for colliding with humans?
NOT like marbles in a jar
more like a module of a honeycomb - glued together?
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
I asked a question every week
for 15 weeks last year.
To everyone I could reach.
- here are some of the answers.
ALL the questions and ANSWERS
are all in a BOOK:: LINK HERE
This question was::
If you HAD to have a tattoo in the centre of your right palm
what Quote /Word or Symbol would you choose?
AND why you have decided on this one?
The tattoo I would have would be a semi colon.
A semi colon comes in a sentence when the author could have chosen to finish the sentence; instead, they keep writing to create a different end. This is particularly important to me.
I have survived 2 serious suicide attempts.
People turning up who should have been in another place in the country, etc.
I'm alive, and able to tell the tale.
I would say I'm not just alive, but I'm now living.
It's been many years since that time, and I would be lying if I said I'd never considered it since, but my life is different now and I'm doing great things.
I've used my experience and turned it around, to develop empathy and understanding of others as well as a defining belief that change is possible.
My life could have ended, it changed instead.
So I would have a semi colon tattoo to remind me; always keep going, change is possible, and to remind myself how far I've come!!
I think I will get a tattoo at some point, maybe not on my palm, but I will get a semi colon as part of it.
(The idea came from the semi colon project, where many others have done this already!!)
'I come in peace' ... Partly cos I'm a sci-fi nerd but mainly cos I want to love people.
I would tattoo:
'Be like the flower that gives its fragrance to even the hand that crushes it.'
The quote is attributed to Imam Ali ibn Abu Talib.
It is appropriate to have that on your hand.
Even if people mistreat you, they should learn from your dignity during this.
In my right palm I'd have tattooed "Forgive Me."
The older I get, the less I want to speak.
Our culture dismisses aging: We put old people into hospitals, nursing care facilities, funeral homes.
The "old" grow irrelevant and invisible to many. Our voices become babbling noise to some.
"Forgive me for bothering you." "Forgive me for interrupting." "Forgive me for not speaking."
The young, trained to be mortified of "strangers," find us "creepy."
Can't they see that they, too, are hurtling down this path? That the Beatles were right about the end: "the love you take is equal to the love you make”?
The tattoo I would have would be Mum done in beautiful colour.
I lost my mum 3 years ago.
She was my life. She was my soul mate.
I lived with her all my life and we did everything together. Part of me died when she passed but I take comfort that I will see her again.
I feel with this
and the man sings
'I still believe'
“How can you expect a man who's warm
to understand one who's cold?”
I remember visiting a home where the family horse
was lead through the front door to enable it to live
in the back yard of the terraced house.
The same house had most of it's floorboards missing
because they needed to feed the fire in a harsh winter. "
I remember one of the family - a young man -
he wanted advice regarding a letter from the court.
"I can't read real writing Pip" he said.
There is a different kind of learning
when you are brought up in such an environment -
in such streets.
A certain kind of wisdom is nurtured
to help the beautiful humans to survive and more than that.
Money can buy comfort and a home in a community
to enable us to retreat from such places.
Escape from violence - noise and draining tension.
Money takes us away from the rawness of life.
Incarnation is about being eye to eye with poverty -
close enough to feel the spittle on your face -
smell its breath and seeing the depth of a human
beyond what we see
beyond our own first feelings
................ beyond behaviour .........
Why do I begin to weep when I get to this line of words?
It stops me thinking.
It blurs my vision.............. the tears .......
How do we change.
Only if we want.
If we are distant we don't connect.
If we are unaware of need.
It is like having blinkers,
When it comes to changing the world,
it usually starts in a smaller community.
Getting down to a different level
feeling the pain.
Hands and, sometimes,
getting the knees dirty.
We have to feel that cold,
usually the uncomfortable.
We need to disturb the comfortable
and comfort the disturbed.
Starting with self.
When God gave 100% of his love to us
(Remember the Christmas story?)
he gave all of it to a human person.
That man divine, came to our level,
his knees became dirty,
his tears found his divine cheeks,
his prayers became sobs,
and the cold turned out to be
his own body,
cold and dead on a tree,
Being with those who are poor,
and many live with poverty that imprisons the spirit,
is a life changing experience.
We cannot get there from a distance.
There was a little boy crying when his Dad was putting him to bed?
He said to his son
"Don't cry - God's arms will be around you all the night long"
And the little boy said ::
"But I want God with skin on"