Sunday, June 13, 2021

FEELINGS MIDST CANCER


 I have encountered so many feelings within me over many years.

I have only started to manage them when I was around 40. Before then I was a reactor - allowing my feelings to dictate my responses to any given situation. I am still learning everyday, as an Emotion Detective, but since CANCER came into my life I am having to accept new feelings and begin a new area of discovery and management &, believe me, it is demanding radical change.

Side affects he started to impact me alongside my increasing need of medication. Whereas the first half of my time with cancer had little demands on my life lived but NOW ........... I cannot ignore the many changes in my body and my new FEELINGS.

Firstly a big positive is - I am pain free. HOWEVER ............... Tough times exist which are beyond physical pain - sleepless nights - memory loss - mood swings - desire to nod off all the time - (and I can't drive)  a total take-over of my body leaving me with lack of focus and direction = eventually/currently pain free ......... but I wrestle with changing side affects which need their own medication!

The current Xtandi medication I am on for three months "to see if he can tolerate it". This is a handful of tablets to be taken every morning after food - the object being to hold back the cancer growth - not cure. There is no cure.

Joan my beloved has been my residential carer. With wings on her back. My everything when I have a mist not a mind.

BUT my feelings still exist. More extreme than normal life. Medication making life more complex.

Life is ongoing. I will keep you in touch - both health-wise and trying to understand it all emotionally.


Stay/Pray with me ...............................


BHP

When I get something like this it lightens my life.



Friday, June 11, 2021

I have climbed highest mountains I have run through the fields Only to be with you

 




“Creating the music for one of the biggest sports events in the world together with Bono and The Edge has been an incredible experience. I’m very proud of what we did together and excited to finally share it with the world,” said Garrix in a statement.

‘We Are The People’ reminds us that a song can look at the challenges facing the world at a given time and still attempt a unified response. It is a hymn sheet from which we can all sing wherever we may come from. ‘We Are The People’ hopes to reflect the positivity, hope and determination required for any team to succeed, as well as offer a sense of togetherness that fits the theme of UEFA EURO 2020: Unity. 

For the first time in the UEFA European Football Championship, commonly referred to as UEFA Euro 2020 history, the tournament is being played across the continent in 11 host cities instead of one country. This includes Amsterdam, Baku, Bucharest, Budapest, Copenhagen, Glasgow, London, Munich, Rome, Saint Petersburg and Seville, with the first match kicking off at the Stadio Olimpico in Rome on June 11, 2021, where Turkey will face Italy. 

The final will take place at Wembley Stadium, London on July 11, 2021. The EURO 2016 was held in France.

Next to the official track, Garrix has also produced the official walkout and broadcast music for the tournament. Released on his 25th birthday on May 14, the song is a testament to his impressive march through the ranks of the music industry so far. Every UEFA EURO Championship since 1992 has had an official song with the likes of Nelly Furtado, Simply Red, and Enrique Iglesias providing the tournament’s soundtrack in the past.

“The long wait is almost over and we are delighted to officially unveil the official song for UEFA EURO 2020 ‘We Are The People’, which features some of the world’s most celebrated artists in Martin Garrix, Bono and The Edge,” said UEFA marketing director Guy-Laurent Epstein.



I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you
I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
Burning like a fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
But yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds
And you loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Oh my shame
You know I believe it
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

Songwriters: Paul David Hewson, Adam Clayton, Larry Mullen, Dave Evans, Victor Reina
For non-commercial use only.
Data From: Musixmatch


BHP

Thursday, June 10, 2021

SPOT family involvement




Senior Editor Producer
I am proud of our girls
in this case Ann 
delivering a TV programme under pressure.

U2 will feature too
NOT in this pop music programme but with an input of music & creativity before the FOOTBALL kicks off tonight.

Euro sport and U2 - can't beat it !





BHP

“How are you? many cliche - “Imperfect” I say



Tuesday, June 08, 2021

TREATMENT FOR CANCER - this in the news today/I am 2 weeks into taking these meds.

 



Stumbled upon this today.

Xtandi suddenly becomes news. I am into my second week of taking 4 tablets a day - for life - if the TREATMENT goes well.

It is in the news today - have a read::

So far enzalutamide has been used as a so-called "COVID-friendly" cancer drug as patients can take it at home.


Cancer
Some men with prostate cancer could live longer thanks to immunotherapy
Image:
Prostate Cancer UK has welcomed the news. 

Thousands of men are set to benefit from a new prostate cancer drug which has been approved for use on the NHS.

The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (Nice) has recommended enzalutamide as an option for treating some types of the disease.

Prostate Cancer UK said the news was welcome for thousands of men, especially those who are unable to have chemotherapy.

The drug has been used during the pandemic as a so-called "COVID-friendly" cancer drug, which patients can take at home instead of needing intravenous medication in a health setting.

Now new draft guidance from Nice should enable wider use.

The guidance says the drug, also known as Xtandi and made by Astellas, can be used with androgen deprivation therapy (ADT), as an option for treating hormone-sensitive metastatic prostate cancer in adults.

More on Cancer

Major ovarian cancer screening trial fails to show any reduction in deaths
New breast cancer jab cuts treatment time from two-and-a-half hours to five minutes
Cancer research: Tiny pill cameras that can film tumours in the gut to be trialled by NHS
Home smear tests to be trialled by thousands of women in bid to detect cervical cancer cases
COVID-19: More than 100,000 cancer patients in the UK struggling to pay for basic essentials, says charity
Mother of toddler with rare cancer urges parents to 'trust instincts' and seek help
Angela Culhane, chief executive at Prostate Cancer UK, said: "This is fantastic news for thousands of men with advanced prostate cancer, especially those who have additional illnesses that make them unsuitable for chemotherapy.

"It finally guarantees them access to a treatment which is just as effective as chemotherapy and can give them back precious time with their families."

There are an estimated 8,500 men who will be able to access the drug, which works by blocking the effect of the hormone testosterone on prostate cancer cells.

Without testosterone, the prostate cancer cells cannot grow, even if they have spread to other parts of the body.

Clinical trials have shown that the treatment increases the time until the disease gets worse and how long people live.

Meindert Boysen, deputy chief executive and director of the Centre for Health Technology Evaluation at Nice, said: "Enzalutamide plus ADT offers another option for people with hormone-sensitive metastatic prostate cancer, especially for people who cannot have docetaxel, or who choose not to have it because of its side effects.





Pip BHP

....... for so much support ..................... needing it ............


 

I am into my second week on this DRUG







Friday, June 04, 2021

About numbing our EMOTIONS




The big big problem is::
When we numb our unwanted feelings  
**********
We also numb the positive feelings. 

We can’t selectively numb emotions. 

We need to learn how to manage all feelings,
The positive 
&
The negative. 

Welcoming all feelings. 
Deciding how to manage everyone. 

Become - join me - BECOME an

EMOTION DETECTIVE



BHP

Pip BECOMING



Thursday, June 03, 2021

BIG #RugbyLeague /@Saints game tomorrow BBC TV



We are big life time supporters and if we win this game on BBC TV SATURDAY we will be in the Wembley final. 

Played the game in the local park since I was 5 years old and many teams since then. 
We are supporters for life. So these coming days are nervy exciting times. 

🎼🎵.•*¨*•♪🎵♫•*¨*•.¸¸¸.•*¨*•♪🎵♫•*¨*•.¸¸¸.when ♫•*¨*• ♫•*¨*•.¸¸¸.•* the ♫•*¨*• SAINTS ♫•*¨ ♫•*¨*•.¸ go¸¸.•* ♫•*¨*• marching ♫•*¨*•.¸¸¸.•* in ♫•*¨*•.¸¸¸.•* ♫  

🅲🅾🅼🅴🏉🅾🅽🏉🆈🅾🆄🏉🆂🅰🅸🅽🆃🆂🏉 

Wednesday, June 02, 2021

1985 the whole family moved into this 11 story tower block called Romford YMCA - to be my home & workplace.

 





I have many various feelings as I reflect.

I didn’t go to work on my first day.
I went to my Auntie Mary’s funeral.
My Mothers sister.

We had moved in a few days before.
I remember my Juke Box being loaded into the lift
unusual sight




to see it disappearing upwards to the second floor.

We moved into the staff flat on the second floor.
The block is, still is, eleven floors
accommodating 150 beautiful young humans.


We were MrsBeautiful
The Sheilas - Ann and Joy.
Ann still at school
Joy at the London College of Fashion.

We had moved a few miles east from Canning Town - London E16



Full of feelings - as I have now as I reflect.
I remember standing in our flat lounge.
Looking out over the roof of our big sports hall.
Looking left we could see greenery  - some open space.
Also we could see the narrow band of water called the River Rom.
It felt liberating
as we had lived in a concrete city for ten years.
I breathed deep.

There is a pile of reflections about this period of my life/our life

topped up with reflections of our journey into and with Romford YMCA.





This book was first published in those early days of Romford Y



It was a kaleidoscope of feelings in those early days.
Leaving Canning Town, leaving friends, an emotional and geographical shift.
A new job. A new book - my first book.
A sense of freedom - a new challenge - a stretch into developing new skills.
I breathe deeply now ………….





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