Monday, April 30, 2007

"If I am like everyone else,
if I have no feelings
or thoughts
which make me different,
if I conform in custom,
ideas to the pattern of the group,
I am saved,
saved from the frightening experience of aloneness."

Erich Fromm
The Art of Loving

The Sheilas
I love em .........

Hi ....... I am tucked up on the sofa slowing down after a busy day and thinking about tomorrow.
More importantly, what am I feeling?

I have a self imposed commitment to
'telling you how I really am'
and not just filling the linear lines with activities or pipology.

'Why am I afraid to tell you who I am'
...... much mentioned favourite book of all time ........ and it is all about 'revealing'.
This I believe in.
Doesn't make it easy to do or be .............. just because I believe it.

It is a life long journey this stuff.
Masks seem to be like an onion.
One off
and yet more layers.

So I am feeling cool and collected.
Preparing my head and soul for tomorrow, I have done the detail prep and packed my heavy back pack.
I am leading a training session tomorrow for about ten youth workers and I love this stuff.
The week is like this. Different groups. Different jobs. All people workers. Different context - some I can tell you about and show the pictures. Some must remain more private.

So 'cool' I said.
Yes - I feel on the good side of pressure - no stress.

I think and feel for the future too.
I am no chicken now. My body that is.
I feel my interior is sharp and I feel I am learning more now than ever.
Feel the potential to be used is great.
People and organisations still want me to facilitate.
I feel I have lots to offer, with imperfection of course, I must add.
I feel good about all this - and I am pumping with excitement when in the middle of the melee of interactions and learning.

I sometimes think that I will, one day in the distant future, that I will not be able to do all this.
My old left knee, with it's old rugby injury, may stop me walking and commuting.
My eyesight may fail me.
But I cannot imagine what it may be like NOT to have motivation and passion.
Wow - what I thought.

I think mainly of positives when I think of the future.
I think of so many things I want to do.
To continue with the current loveology and the new .........

Exciting this week, as well as the challenges of working with beautiful humans, is a meal out with the Sheilas and their men. Love the thought of seeing them all.
When the Sheilas are busy or away - I really miss them.
AS the kids have grown into beautiful adults - I feel I miss them more than when they were little.
Maybe I am a softie ..............

My soul is only troubled when I think of others who are toughing it out at the moment .......
....... my heart is there ..............


Sunday, April 29, 2007


.... from watching the Saints win in London Town.
It means travelling from East London to West London = 4 hours there and back.


.... long day today
good day today
frustrating because blogger dot com has been blocking my posting ..... or is it my little G4 Macbook giving me a temper tantrum because I am having it adopted by Sheila?

I have been in a struggle but does this matter in all the major issues of the world?
NO it does not.
You are a vip
and not average .....

Friday, April 27, 2007

..... funny
today ...... I turned in for a regular gig I do and they had changed the date without telling me.

I felt restless for hours afterwards
I guess I was coming down with the energy unused - eh?

Have had a good week.
I am concerned about a few beautiful humans ...........

Tomorrow is a Greenbelt Trustee day - AGM indeed.
Not inspired now
but always during and afterwards
always amidst beautiful inspiring humans.

Afterwards I travel for a couple of hours to a farewell/retirement do of a YMCA friend who is such a great geezer.
I don't feel like going
but I would not miss for the world

I am sipping lager laced in lime
TV as a mental shower
and hoping you are good

my team play in London
so me and Joan will be there
cheering our guts out
we need to win.

Busy week ahead
I feel excited about this
love my mission
lurve the meeting with new humans
stretching ......... and them too ...........

Joy is back from SanFran on Monday with my new Mactop and my two new 'P' caps
I need to see her because I love her and have missed her
in fact, getting my hands on the tech is far less important

Little She, called Ann, she is in Manchester filming the climax of a TV series which I will tell you about in a month(s) or so. loveherloveherloveher ..........

In a weeks time all the three women in my life
go to Marakesh for four nights
They have a girlie annual trip
and I love it for them.

...... AND ...... we have booked our annual holidays in about one months time
first time that is only one week - usually it is two
but I can do this between the courses and other gigs.
We are going to Greece and you will see the pipturesque scenes in due course.

This a Level Two blog - init?
No feelings here (L4) eh/
Maybe there is
I did see 'I loveit loveit' a few times!

It is late - ish ....... and yet I have lots of feelings beneath the surface.
I am ok with that.
I like being in contact with my feelings and try to understand them
after all
they are 'signals' .........

I want to touch finger tips with you .....
I can feel that - even at a distance ....................



Thursday, April 26, 2007

........ when I have been involved in leading a training experience, better description would be 'a facilitated' experience - because I feel I just get humans going and something happens because there is talent and experience in bucket loads, I feel good and not so good.

I know I could have done better in parts.

I also know that there has been sensational moments - flashes of revelation and swift movement of the soul as shafts of light shine into dark corners ........ love it love it.

It is important, I tell myself, that I focus on the positive not the weaknesses.
BUT I need to learn from the bits I could have been more sensitive to.

I love it whe humans say something and the whole group grips those lips with their eyes - the heads nod and the eyes still.
New shafts of light .......

This climate of trust, so so SO vital, has done it again.
Creativity and imagination click together and wonder appears ......... stinking wow!!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

..... to appear on American Idol.

Gwen Stefani, Kelly Clarkson and Quincy Jones will also feature.
Bono is set to appear on a special episode of 'American Idol', which will air tomorrow night in the US.

The episode entitled 'Idol Gives Back' will see Bono make an appearance on behalf on the ONE campaign, which is fighting extreme poverty.

The U2 frontman will meet with the Idol contestants to talk with them about ONE and they will also perform 'American Prayer,' a song written by Bono and Dave Stewart about the AIDS emergency in Africa.

It is a two-hour special hosted by Ellen De Generes and will feature appearances by Kelly Clarkson, Gwen Stefani, Earth, Wind & Fire, Keira Knightley, Hugh Grant, Josh Groban with the African Children's Choir, Jack Black, Quincy Jones, Annie Lennox and many more.

Find out more about NME.



I love to be amongst these humans - love seeing where eyes are going - expressions - the whole of the body balance - tension - openness ...

I feel special for being there ..... with these beautiful humans and others ... maybe with you one day .....

How is your heart beat?
How is feeling right there in the soul?
What have you touched recently and it was good?
Will you take a deep breath now - and enjoy that moment between the long deep intake .... .... and the expelling - what a special moment that is?

"Listen to your life.
See it for the fathomless mystery that it is.
In the boredom and pain of it
no less than in the excitement
and gladness:
your way to the holy
and the heart of it
because in the last analysis,
all moments are key moments
and life itself is grace."

Frederick Buechner


..... had a day off today.
Unusual and I feel bad that I don't take days off.

Joan was drained from a few days in the north west of England, the home of Rugby League and a Mother with deteriorating mental health.
(I wonder if you and me will be hit by physical or mental health as we get older? - one will come earlier than the other I guess.)

We decided, at the last minute to drive to a small Essex County town called Saffron Walden. You world wide humans would love the oldy-worldly English houses, thatched cottages and narrow streets.

We headed for a restaurant which we love called The Hoops and found it had passed away four years ago! It had changed owners twice since our last visit but was good and beautiful for a couple of humans needing to unwind.

Then we tootled around the wee market and shops you would not find in Romford or the big city. Joan bought a couple of plants, I bought er - zero - (tell you the truth I have just had a phone call from our Sheila - Joy. She was in the Apple Store SanFran and she was getting a new Mac Book Pro for me right here right now hey hey.

Zig is on the rug looking like a beautiful non-human that he is.
I am sipping a Cointreau, what else on your day off! ........
..... and smoking a late night small and light cigar ............ hmmmmm

TV is off. I have just unplugged my earbuds from my wee Powerbook G4
- was editing an audio tape of talks I did some years ago - intend to place them on lulu dot com for mad humans to buy and download to their iPods world wide. Some good stuff I must admit. Stories about humans. Reflections and stuff that I still agree with!

When I was driving out today, I found myself designing a power point presentation in my head. All for a training course I am leading this week.
What is this all about?
That is when I decided that I need to taker some time off.
I need to release that coiled spring.
I need to breath in some fresh air and withdraw from the exhaust fume drugs.

I also need to read some.
I do read but it is all prep stuff for training courses.
I need to read for my soul.

Five words to describe my life at the moment::

...... and you?

Tell me or ............
at least tell someone ...........
because the telling does something deeper than just a self whisper ............

.... and can I say that I feel with you because, some of you, have told me how you are, and that is good for me - good for you ...... and I am honoured with your prized self revealed .......


Monday, April 23, 2007

We collect lots of things
we all do.

We collect files from all previous years of our life.

We collect in our soul
all audio tapes from our past
all video files from the past
and most powerful
all feelings files from the past.

The greatest journey is not the life we lead
the next task
the next job
the next relationship.
It is the journey inward
to discover what we are unaware of.

Only when we discover more
this road less travelled
an endless road
will we open up options for change
practical personal strategies for development.

And growth and development
does not reside in a place called

Most of our attitudes
are what we have learned from our past
few, if any, are original.

The tapes roll and we replay the past without knowing it
in our attitudes
in our non verbal communication displayed instinctively
in our delight as we look on another
or in our distaste
all demonstrated without thinking
the tapes are rolling.

The most powerful tape
a really big file
is the feelings file
getting the claws in whenever they can
but we can keep them all
and become more aware of them
use them for good

We need our autonomy from our filing system
all the files - all the tapes
still owning them because they are real
but autonomous.

A Direction
An agenda::

Awareness of the right here, right now.
That means becoming
becoming sensitive to all our feelings
recognising all sensations
in response to the right now reality.

Spontaneity to be able to be free
to chose
for our own

and eyes
in communication.

Intimacy is another growth area
Level Five with others
not only when they start first
opening intimacy from our own autonomy
clocking our own feelings
sharing them because they are our reality.

© Pip Wilson
23 April 2007

..... I just want to say ...... that I lead courses about the stuff in the blog above this one.

It is the most helpful and purposeful hours I spend.
It is powerful because it is equipping to individuals.
It is a wondrous group experience.

I will lead this sort of 'journey-course-session' anywhere.
I do these every month somewhere.
But not many humans ask me to come to them - which I will.
Why am I not asked so much?
Because it is an area which is about the unknown.
The yet to be discovered.

Yet is leaves each human with something simple to take away.
It is not about becoming dependent.
It is about freedom.

The experience is also beautiful for me.
I learn as I yearn.

Have a think.
I think the course is best run over three weeks with a two hour session each week. Total of six hours.
We need a group of not more than nine humans.
It is not heavy.
It stretches but all in a climate of trust.

Have a think ..............


Sunday, April 22, 2007 insider news
not just activity news
insider news
inside you
feelings news

I am in and out out
out gigs
in prep
Joan up North with her Mum
Sheilas out US
or indoors chilin.
..... and you?

I reflect when I have any space
Short term
Longer term
The next step
needs to be in the right direction

Need the space
but don't always enjoy
I like the action best
but I have to have spaced-out days
and sometimes
out of a period of intensity
I need a zombie day

Have pretty busy weeks ahead
until June when we plan to take a break
the holiday in the sun type
no place yet
will decide later

I like the stretch
need it
love the breaks
love it

Hope for you too
I know some
who are in tough times
will you
Pray for them
If you can't
the rest of us
will pray for you

I feel so close to you
because you click this way
stay close
stretch those finger tips this way and I will meet you half way

You are beautiful.


My Smile

Do I have to smile always?

People always says – he got a smile on his face,
What do they know?
Do I have to smile always?
Yes, I smile when I am happy.

My smile has HOPE

My smile has DREAMS

My smile has JOY

My smile has my INSECURITIES.

I smile with HAPPINESS
I Smile with PAIN
I smile with COMPASSION

If I am HURT I smile

If I am ANGRY I smile

If I am UPSET I smile

If I am LOST I smile

I smile when I am SUCCESSFUL
I smile when I am HELPLESS
I smile when I am VULNERABLE
I smile JUST to hide my EMOTIONS.

What do they know????

and thank you for this beautiful honesty

pip bhp


Saturday, April 21, 2007

...........photographs are fab when working in with people with special needs ....... it is a non threatening environment to be pouring over photos together - from the past and right now.

my mac laptop is an angel when it comes to a delivery of images.

It is amazing how, following the death of a young person due to an overdose, the significance of photo's to those who have suffered a loss. There is a desire to hold on to the memory and want to see and posses a photograph.

It all helps me to get close too.
Being involved is a shared experience and as you know -I think you know me - I believe that humans develop when involved in/ or have experiences of:-

- love
- security
- participation
- new experiences

It is wondrous to lead a group and people talk about things they have never done before.
They are finding the language to talk about feelings and expression of their life experiences.

At the moment I feel good about people feeling good.
I feel good that a clamshell human has opened a wee crack in their tightness and moved. Moved from the security and yet fear of silence - to the edge - insecurity where development is ........... stinking wow


Friday, April 20, 2007

I have met little Adrian on the left.
I held him when he was a little little baby.
He came to Wilson Mansions for a BBQ last summer.
He won't remember.
Now he is a growing boy.

He is the son of friends Adofus and Anitha who sent me this photograph from India.

I have never met the man on the right.
A proud Grandfather.
Just look into his eyes.
One of a billion humans in India.
His name is Thonas Antony Chackalakal.
He passed away on 18th April 2007 at 10.10pm.
His funeral to be held on Saturday the 21st April at his parish church in Muhamma, Alleppey.

Just look into his eyes.

A beautiful human person.

Every time I look into his eyes
I weep ......


Thursday, April 19, 2007

.... and last night I travelled from work into central London and met up with a beautiful human called Sheila.
She is Ann, the one who is not in Las Vegas, and we met in a beautiful liitle Italian Restaurant in Covent Garden called Da Marios. We talked and talked and I loved it. To meet with an adult who is also your daughter - what a fab experience ... love it love it .. .. ..

Then we went to a gig at the Astoria, a venue right in the heart of London near Oxford Street.

BRMC were on stage.
Otherwise called "Black Rebel Motorcycle Club'. Check them out via google. Rock stuff.

Tell you the truth, I am a bit cool with most guitar based music now-a-days. I would rather have fused music - something with a mix of sounds. Found that the did not communicate well and the lyrics just did not reach my ears and were miles from my soul.

But loved meeting friends and Sheila .. .... .....

I have had a fab week of being with and among some beautiful humans and these are some of them .... see their smiles and eyes .... and Iloveitloveit ......