Monday, April 12, 2021

I love questions - to be asked & to ask of you.

Will you ask me a question?"
I ask sometimes ... here is one person with a question.....

So I had to dig back in time to understand my past journey - AND now - it all impacts on me now in my BECOMING.
I trust you will receive my stumbling as the best I could offer outside a personal dialogue with you.
I also hope that this question and reflective answer will add to our reflective/learning process and Becoming - as we share together.
So here it is - thank you so much for taking the trouble to ask me a question.


What or who inspired you to start working with young people?

When I was aged 15 I was carpeted at my youth club and was told I was unmanageable and had to go. BUT they gave me another option - to become a leader and look after a group of boys - the disruptive ones. So I started when I was a YP. My leaders trusted me, undeservingly, to give me opportunities.That is why I believe in participation and sharing responsibility such as having young people on Boards and Senior Staff Team meetings. That was one of the most significant events in my life. Thank you for asking Jon. 
Keyword answer:: 
Trust Risk Participation Valuing.


Sunday, April 11, 2021

When individuals step outside their own created prison cell

 It is a privilege when someone allows me to emotionally hold hands with them as they are sharing honest reflections on their life. The toughest of times. Lingering hurt

We all have an 'upstream'.
We have all had a journey.
We are are still on our journey & we can learn from others spilling.
We all can learn from sharing our story - AND it is good for us too - I firmly believe.

'Level Five' communication - I call it.

FEEL this with me .................


Saturday, April 10, 2021

Big hard tough bloody win today.

 My sport
I played from 5 years old in the local park to several teenage teams & then more mature teams - not professional teams but great top class lower leagues - I love the game and the #RugbyLeague community - so down to earth ..........
often bloody as well as muddy !

We won today - now on our way to WEMBLEY 

Who and where are these πŸ…±πŸ…΄πŸ…°πŸ†„πŸ†ƒπŸ…ΈπŸ…΅πŸ†„πŸ…» πŸ…·πŸ†„πŸ…ΌπŸ…°πŸ…½πŸ†‚ ?

Friday, April 09, 2021

This day I was digging into my interior & trying to understand ..


I was 40 and studying for the first time since leaving school - (AND that school experience of education poor - so poor.)

I was doing a part time 3 year course to qualify me to be a Youth & Community Worker. I had already been in such jobs for 20+ years but this qualification was an opportunity to LEARN stuff, rather than just pick it up as I went along.  AND I would get paid a little more.
Part of being on this 3 year course was a number of residential week-ends, many dissertations and having a ‘Non-Managerial Supervisor' to meet with monthly. This person had to be a person outside my work place …… and struck gold with a guy called Jim Punton.

I am coming to the learning bit soon ………
One day I visited Jim he started by asking me about me - the battered Youth Worker me!
I said “I don’t feel spiritual any more”

He paused and then spoke:: “I am glad”
I will never forget that experience! EVER!

We continued in discussion with many questions from me.
In following dialogue he told me that it was like moving from solid ground to take a boat in rough seas. 
It was a journey of becoming and when I reach solid ground again I will have experienced change.
He said that he was glad for me because it means I am changing - moving out of my comfort zones = learning!
We talked about how a ship can be a magnificent creation and safe in its harbour - BUT a ship is made to be at sea facing storms and unpredictable weather. He suggested that I was growing up in a way - stepping out my normal to enter a new life.He spoke of faith was more than feeling spiritual but thinking and developing as a human.

I will never forget that day, that response, that learning ………..
One of my quotes emanated from that encounter =

 “I daily refresh  my irritation”


Thursday, April 08, 2021



If you are a regular in this place you will know that I repeat often::
'Growth does not reside in a place called comfortable'.

The principle is -
if we have a mission or purpose,
we have a chosen direction.
That is always imperfection in my experience.
There are always fumbling and stumbling.
Always mistakes.
Always changes to direction
Always learning
Always learning from mistakes
Always tough times - but
we still have a greater purpose than just surfing.
Surfing life.
Surfing every issue to just get the best out of it for self.

All this is linked to Spiritual Literacy - being in tune with a greater spiritual influence
All this is linked to Emotional Literacy - being a student of understanding emotions and learning to manage them.
All this is linked to Behavioural Literacy - being able respond with positive personal behaviour, managing feelings, rather than being controlled by them.



PS - If you search my here 

(TOP  Right side column = 'The beauty within') 


Just love this guy. Music. Ethos. Wholeness:: follow

Wednesday, April 07, 2021

Leaving school at 15 was normal - but not my journey thereafter!


 Leaving school at 15 - the journey::

Pre age 26 I worked in 4 factories.

26+ we lived and worked residentially in

* three YMCA's (one was a YWCA actually)

* one inner-city urban Youth Work project

* one Manchester Childrens Department, Youth Offenders school

I don't remember the 100's of names BUT:: 

I remember so many vivid stories from their lips


I was talking with a young man aged 22.  
He’s been living in our YMCA for four weeks,
previously he was living alone,
homeless, for three months.

For the whole of that time he was alone 
he slept in a rubbish chute in a tower block.  

It was the warmest place for him, 
that’s where he felt comfortable, 
that’s where he was secure.

He came from a ‘CARE” - 
a childcare background.  
His parents had rejected him when he was 2 years old. 
He was quietly spoken and gentle in his mannerisms, 
not hostile in any way.  
When I asked him if he had any relatives, 
he said yes, but he didn’t want anything to do with them.  
He didn’t mention his foster parents as being his 'relatives' in any way.  
He was warm, authentic, pleasant, cool, 
but not cold in his responses to me.  

Several times when I sat with him in the YMCA dining room having some food together, 
I asked whether he minded if I asked him questions, 
and he didn’t, 
so we chatted away a number of times. 

He was honest.  
He was willing to answer questions openly with authenticity without embarrassment. 
I asked him all sorts of questions, more and more detail as time went on, 
checking every now and again 
whether he was happy to answer questions with me just throwing them at him.

We talked mostly about his three months living alone in the rubbish chute. 
The whole experience and his thought processes during that experience.

I asked him what his prized possession was while he was on his own and, 
- he thought for a while.  
I asked him if it was it the watch he wore?  
I asked him if it was his T Shirt or some possession?  
He said it was his sleeping bag.
The worst thing which had ever happened to him, he told me, 
was when his sleeping bag and all his clothes got nicked.

He used to wash sometimes in the town centre precinct toilets. 
When he was on a tube train people used to move away from him 
when he sat down next to them.  
He used to get a little bit of money by begging; 
maximum in a day would be about £5.  
When he plucked up courage to go to the Housing Department for help, 
…………. he was given a leaflet.

 How did you eat, I asked, how did you survive? 
He begged!   
With that income he was able to buy but 
other times he went to Sainsbury’s Supermarket 
and nicked food to live. 
Was he ever caught? I asked. 
Yes.  But they let him off.

One of the kindest things he talked about was one morning when he was still asleep 
someone came and threw a big black bag of rubbish  down the chute and over him. 
When the person realised what had happened he apologised for having doused him with rubbish.  
As well as an apology he said that for him not to worry that he wouldn’t report him. 
That was considered the only act of kindness he experienced in three months.

Living in the YMCA now for him is positive, 
he expressed this gently with no enthusiasm 
but in a real calculated way. 
He said that he attended the Foyer Resources, 
the training unit we have in the YMCA 
to assist such youngsters to become equipped for the future. 
While I was talking to him one of our young women residents, 
who herself had had all sorts of 
problems in her past - and even now, 
came over and whispered to him, 
gave him a little cuddle and said 
“If you want to talk to me you know where I am” 
and walked away. 

Here in this community he’s been accepted and loved. 
For him this is a non-threatening gentle community 

where he’s been built up and encouraged.

In the future he wants to get a job in the catering trade in London. 
He’s well prepared to travel into London and do 
the most basic low paid menial task to get into regular work, 
which is very encouraging.




All these experiences – vivid encounters, 
give me feelings – right to the heart  - 
right in the soul where growth resides.
I want to feel and disclose feelings.
Unless I disclose my feelings to you
You don't know me
you only know my activity
you only read my body language
you only feel me through the clicking of distant keys
I want to disclose - it is good for me
it is good for our relationship 
sometimes I will be sad, 
frustrated, lonely, hurt, failing ......
amongst the golden stuff
when I tell you I hurt
that does not mean I am destroyed and lame
it means I am stretching my sensitivity to my interior
and not being an exterior human - only.

This is an extract from my book:: 
If I could get you to read ONE book of mine
it would be the one with
60 years of my journey in it.
called 'Gutter Feelings' 
- the 2012 edition - NOT THE 1985 edition.


A book of mine called BECOMING QUESTIONS

Tuesday, April 06, 2021

Easter past and recent. Takes me to a place called Uncomfortable where growth resides.



Easter for us ........ always in touch with family but again a deprivation as we can't yet touch (even though our two little angels get as close as they can !)
Before lockdown days they stayed with us
all in our little flat
camp-bed crush !
BUT beautiful to do things together
and just hang out

In times past we spent time great  times with family
and our Greek family.

In past years we all piled down to Joys with about 27 of the Greek side
all crushed indoors for a traditional Greek menu and drinks.
It had all been planned to be outside in the garden
but the weather meant we crushed together in one room!
ALL dining in a stripped room to get all seated AND
it was so great.

We Wilsons were welcomed and we loved the chatter and the traditions.

We missed Maundy Thursday Church again.
A great quiet service starting the reflective opportunities
on this earth moving event .......... NEXT YEAR?

The best service for me in any year is a
Good Friday / three hour lockdown of reflection.
For years we have always searched out a church
where I am unknown .............
as I desire no human interactions
to reach out for 
eternal ones
internal ones.

Other than lockdown years we have entered into Canterbury Cathedral.
A 3 HOURS service - and I want that
even though you can enter/leave any/every half hour
we stay for the lot.

I always want to dwell on passion.
Passion week and the journey to the cross.
Soak it in
pain and all.
'Joy and Tears
flow mingled down .....'

This year we had the iPhone/Facebook streaming again - home comfort - home Church - always making the best of this special day.

I don't want to return to where I was before Easter.
I always want to be yearning
yearning to become ...........
Seeking the wholeness that I believe is created for us
but we never reach
because it is all about the journey
the becoming
the yearning
the seeking SHALOM .................

I look forward to colliding with you
as we journey along the way.
that is an exciting thought.
Colliding with you !!!!
It will be like colliding with God herself.
I love the thought =

I want to be disturbed at Easter and ongoing year through .........................

Stay beautifully disturbed


Emotional Literacy FREE Activity

Monday, April 05, 2021



I am OK

but people I know and love are struggling.



-poor abilities 


-managing life

Lost in the systems available & many seemingly not caring about them.

And someone phones me and I am limping life myself.

I feel a depth of helplessness which has nothing to do with me.

If we are not in a network of support we are out of touch, not just with official local government systems, but with informal human relationships.

It is a big heavy lead feeling in my soul. More than a phone call is needed for this BHP and so many others .............


Two πŸ…±πŸ…΄πŸ…°πŸ†„πŸ†ƒπŸ…ΈπŸ…΅πŸ†„πŸ…» πŸ…·πŸ†„πŸ…ΌπŸ…°πŸ…½πŸ†‚

Sunday, April 04, 2021



Easter Day - Not Good Friday.

This human
I loved
worked with
Lived with
my soul

A beautiful human
I know - loved - worked with .... and ...... she was 21 ........
when ......
... she was found dead with a cocktail of drugs .......

This day I will always remember
This day I will always remember her .....
This day, today, I would love to post a photograph of her hanging around my neck - messing about 
so close ......

But would not be right .........
But I will share with you the words I clicked ........ about her.

alcoholic at birth
mothers addiction
father loss disaster later
fateful crack overdose
and years of homes
sometimes called 'care'

mother herself
all too young
very young
without parental models
sometimes called 'it's the parents fault'

raped and abused
abused and robbed
fragmented like hell
sometimes called 'tormented'

drugs and crime
crime and drugs
suck the life
drain the soul
shred the person
sometimes called 'deprivation'

YMCA hostel
mission to care
mission to support
mission to develop
sometimes called 'hope'

as thin as a rake
loud and screaming
tearful and down
always a name call
always my name
sometimes called 'erratic'

drugs on
off drugs
relationships on
chemical relationship on
struggle to sustain
loved and hated
sometimes called 'dependent'

alone on her own
found on her own
died on her own
lay still on her own
only chemical friends
sometimes called 'overdose'

tears of the crowd
loss in community
death lurks us all
quiet at last
tears run silent
sobs rack deep
world loses a character
sometimes called 'bereavement'

how do I feel
the feelings are deep
she was driving blind
foot on disaster
hard as nails
fragile and bruised
beautifully broken
sometimes called 'love'

creator loved
creator loves
precious child
valuable life
loss loss loss
sometimes called 'a waste'

never lived
only survived
we need to care
in life
before death
we need to love
more-so the broken
more-so the damaged
more-so when it's impossible
more-so before it is too late
sometimes called 'reflective learning'

let these little ones
come to me
of such
the kingdom of heaven
the master said
the master repeats
when it matters
he retains the loving
continues the loving
the creator of love
keeps showing us
teaching us
demonstrating to us
sometimes called
'eternal love
everlasting love
to a person
for a person
we will remember eternally and everlasting'

pip wilson 

...... and this song playing today ABOVE - is her song
the one which sticks with me everytime I think of her::
"Keep on trying ........................... "


.¸¸♥¸.•*¨*•♪Easter♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸.•*¨*•♪Greetings♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥with¸.•*¨*•♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸.•*¨*•♪all♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸.•*¨*•♪the LOVE♫•*¨*•.¸I have¸♥ ¸.•*¨ *•♪and♫•*¨*•.¸available¸♥¸.•*¨*•and♪♫•*¨*•.because of¸¸♥¸.•*¨*•♪Easter♫

Saturday, April 03, 2021


🎈🎈my🎈🎈🎈EASTER🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈Edition🎈🎈🎈🎈of🎈🎈🎈you🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈are🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈BEAUTIFUL 🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈 


Butterfly hiding in the darkness .....

I can’t breathe

Friday, April 02, 2021


Gang life - The Last BK .........................

The Last BK

He looked like he’d lost a pound and found a penny.
He wanted the normal box meal
But said he’d go large on the Pepsi.
He took a handful of straws.

When I next looked up (it was a busy night)
He was surrounded by a gang of mates.
Funny thing was, 
they all seemed to be drinking from his cup
And sharing his burger.

I was going to tell the manager.
After all, if they come in here,
They can’t eat someone else’s food, can they?
We’ll go out of business.

Just then, one of the gang got up and walked out.
He looked real guilty.
Then the girl arrived.
The one who was living rough, on the streets.
You can spot ‘em –and smell ‘em - a mile off.
She went up to him and gave him a brand new iPhone.
He was choked.
His mates accused her of nicking it
But she said it was kosher, she’d earned it.
I overheard her say, with a smile:
‘You can listen to it when they stick you in the cells.’

Then he said to all of them:
‘This is it.  The last BK.
We won’t meet again like this
Until my Dad takes us all out for a feast.
Stick together – it’s going to be a long night.’

He spilled some ketchup on his hands
But the girl wiped it clean for him.
They looked at each other
Like they were sharing a secret.

Then the cops arrived
And he was bundled out into a big black van.
One of his mates pulled out a knife but he shouted at them:
‘Put it away. It’s not what we’re about.’

The manager spoke to the cops out front.
Apparently, his mate had grassed him up.
He was about to blow up the American embassy, or something. 
Terrorist suspect. (Later though, I heard he was stitched up.)

While I was clearing his table
I found his iPhone in the corner, behind a chair.
The first song was ‘You’ve got the love’ by Florence and the Machine:

“Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air
I know I can count on you
Sometimes I feel like saying Lord, I just don't care
But you've got the love I need to see me through"

Sometimes it seems that the going is just too rough
And things go wrong no matter what I do
Now and then it seems that life is just too much
But you've got the love I need to see me through

When food is gone, you are my daily meal
When friends are gone, I know my Saviour's love is real
Your love is real.”

I never saw him again.

Written by my great friend Peter Barrett 

Thursday, April 01, 2021

WITHIN THE HUMAN FRAME ....................


All symptoms we see are like an iceberg.
Underneath, the unseen, is a mass of causes.
It seems to me that they are bound up in the spiritual/emotional/relational

I always work with groups and make the point that communication is:: 

7% words, 
55% facial expression 
and the rest is the remaining elements of the human frame.

Love the whole person.
We can see a persons behaviour
we can't see their journey


I just LOVE this photo