Friday, October 31, 2008

"I find solace in places I never could have imagined:
the quiet sprinkling of my child's head in Baptism,
a gospel choir drunk on the Holy Spirit in Memphis,
or the back of a Catherdral in Rome
watching the first cinematographers play with light and colour
in stained glass stories of the Passion.
I am still amazed at how big,
how enormous the love and mystery of God is --
and how small are the minds that attempt to corral this life force
into rules and taboos, cults, and sects."

I am the opposite to boring
I am the opposite to depressing
I am the opposite to ugly
I am the opposite to stupid
I am the opposite to successful
I am the opposite to smart
I am the opposite to intelligent
I am the opposite to rich
I am the opposite to frozen
I am the opposite to perfect
I am the opposite to complete
I am the opposite to settled
I am the opposite to content
I am the opposite to being
I am the opposite to hard
I am the opposite to silent
I am the opposite to paused
I am the opposite to country
I am the opposite to still
I am the opposite to death
I am the opposite to
I am the opposite to
I am the opposite to
I am the opposite to
I am the opposite to
I have left some blanks for you to complete ....................... ?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

......... beautiful humans from today .........

I am back into it.

Have you read about the troubles in the Congo region of Africa?
Do you feel the pain?
Thousands of homeless humans in fear of death?
Fleeing genocide?
Can you imagine what that feels like?
This week I have been amongst beautiful humans who were prepared to come to a session I led. Volunteers.
I have story about every one.
Each one could write book about their short life.

One young man was born in Liberia, West African land so troubled, and he has the scars to prove it.
During a session which was about emotional intelligence he said how he felt privileged because he had been educated - had learned to read and write when he was young. He was counting his blessing.
Wondrous awareness and skill to turn negative feelings into positive ones.
Just a few insights into his life spurred me on to connect and give and give and give.
Emotional Literacy bound up in the soul of a human.
Becoming free.

I am back where I belong.
Back in a place called uncomfortable
where growth resides.

I could roll out little stories.
Quotes from humans
discovering new life
new awareness
new skills.
Me too.

And I will be back with these stories.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Posted with LifeCast

"Relationships are the source of our growth as persons.

There must be at least one person with whom he or she is totally open
and feels totally safe at the same time"
Paul Tournier

For 20 years I went to visit a great man.*
Every two months.
Just to offload, reflect, learn and yearn.
I was working with Gangs in East London.
I was a battered human.
Coaching is called nowadays - or, I prefer,
Non Managerial Supervision.

I remember saying to him once
"I don't feel spiritual anymore"
He said,
looking into my eyes
he said
"I am glad"

He said in response to my questions he said
"When you grow and develop
you change
and have to leave
the safe and secure behind -
like sailing from one island to another.
You are involved in change -
have faith
solid ground is ahead".

In my work I am available to others who wish to talk something through.
I never give advice.
I ask questions and sometimes share my own experience
from my stumbling fumbling life.
Always confidential.
We all need support sometimes.

I do this with teams too,
facilitate learning and that usually
comes from the body of knowledge
in the room.
We all need input too - sometimes.

We all need inspiration sometimes.
So I leave you with a Quotation.

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas and dreams before the crowd is to risk their love.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The one who risks nothing does nothing and has nothing – and finally is nothing.
He may avoid sufferings and sorrow.
But he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love.
Chained by his certitude, he is a slave, he has forfeited freedom.
Only one who risks is free!
* His name was Jim Punton.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Beautiful humans have sent me
to describe their life at the moment.
Some of these are days old.
They change all the time.
I wonder what yours are?

I appreciate these.
They triggered me to do mine
at the moment = NOW !!

Big John




I love this Advert because it is the best example I know of
'Reverse Body Language/NVC'.

Here the geezer is being nice to the hairdresser but using aggressive non-verbal communication to show his sister how angry he is (pretending to be) - good stuff.

In real life it is impossible to do.
When we are angry, angry NVC comes out.
When we are warm towards another we become a Palm Person, open palms used.
Here we see some great examples of Pointed Finger Person.

When we are feeling 'not ok' - be aware of how we communicate.
It is usually pretty ugly.

But at the same time you are beautiful - behaviour is only what we see.
Beyond - there is a BHP trying to get out!!!

Monday, October 27, 2008

On the way back from the funeral, I said to Joan, that I felt I had a body covered in little cracks and, if anyone shouted boo - I would disintegrate into bit and pieces.

Since then we have had a week-end to have some head space and I have focused on gigs ahead. As usual I am heading for a new context, new challenge, complex objectives which take me through the next year. The design makes me sweat. I have done it. Now it is the detail which isn't the same pressure.

I am well behind on things.

Strict priorities this week.

I mix with all sorts of humans. Some of these are people of faith. Some are committed Christians and I love asking the question 'what sort of Christian are you now?'
Love the answers - but then they usually ask me and ......... it is not so easy to answer!

As usual there are the Christians who seem to continue to live and behave just like their peers. Others seem to be simply engaged with their God and breathe with him in their every move. Others complain about the drain upon their financial investments while others have to cut back on the amount of bread they buy.
Each have to make their own decision before God. Some, it seems, don't make decisions - just drift.
As I say about those I work with, those who seem to struggle in the survival zone, they have toothache.
What do you think about when you have toothache?
Answer:: Toothache!

Distractions can drive us into nil decision making and that relates to faith, financial considerations and lifestyle. To some it seems just like another part of their social life. I don't want God as a hobby.
"We can see a persons behaviour but we cannot see their experience" - so who am I to judge another. There is so much unseen - unknown - I can see what I can see - but I am so so short on awareness that I want to weep.

At the end of this fragile two weeks I have caught up on the Blogging of Big John and Paul Chambers. I feel feelings of envy as they have been experiencing the land once called Holy. Not only the land, but with a group of Greenbelters - a community I love.
They have experiences injustice first hand. Felt it. Sipped at the well. They will never be the same again. I delight in their pain and envy it. See the links above.

I have loved their facebook updates and the pictures. Well worth a read.
I look forward to a few late night catch-ups in the near future.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

In my work I facilitate training in communication which includes the most significant - Body Language.
Words are only 7% of communication.
55% is in the face.
The rest is in every body movement we make.

Working with young humans who are on the edge can be sensitive when it comes to building relationships and also handling conflict resolution. Humans can tell if we value them.
Are caring.
Love them !

They can also read our non-verbal communication because life has often dealt them such blows that they can recognize rejection by they way we do our eye contact, the corners of our mouths, the expressions around the eyes.

I like the eye direction on these pictures, the facial expressions, the touch .......

It all comes out of our interior.
It is no use understanding body language if we cannot do love.

Love love love .......

Hope you can love those around you or those you are on the other team at work, the ones you don't like even.

You are beautiful ...............

I am out of the blogging groove.

The priority has been to chill and recover this w/e.
At the same time I have been designing five sessions to be held in a Secondary School.
I need to draft the five before I deliver the first otherwise the jigsaw puzzle will not fit.

This morning Joan and me had a priority.
It was to sit down with some bacon butties
a big pot of coffee
and watch the opening match of the
Rugby League World Cup
currently 'down under'.
England won
surviving a shaky start.
There will be a a game every Saturday and Sunday from now on until the final on 24/11.
I will be away next w/e on a Greenbelt Trustees Conference.

Zig is having uncomfortable nights.
Bonfire and fireworks scares the beautiful non-human.
I have to play loud music to hide the sounds
good excuse eh?

Friday, October 24, 2008

Zig joins us on the Breakfast table - welcoming us home!

.... and we are home and, speaking personally, empty headed.

A days recovery needed.
Two weeks we have been away - almost.
Life has been on hold.
Dealing with death.
Rightly so, priorities have been clear.
We needed to deal with many things,
and now ..............
Need to catch up with EVERYTHING.

Big thanx to all for sending condolences and deepest sympathy during this strange and distressing time.

Apologies if I have not replied to your support and other emails and facebook stuff.
All have been deeply encouraging and supportive.

I have many words to click. I want to write something beautiful about Joyce who we have laid to rest this week. I want to - I need to.

Big apologies for not blogging.
It is the longest period I have missed since I started in 2003.
(I hate clicking on a blog to find no update ....... I soon drift away!)
We have been staying in the home of Joan's Mother and no wireless within reach. Even the land line is inaccessible - if you you unplug the telephone the automatic distress system, 'Care line', screams. I have not been functioning well offline.

I will be back ..................

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Zig Will Be Missing Us

Posted with LifeCast
We are in a northern town, on a northern terraced street,
in a little two up two down house which was once Joan's home.

I used to live in the same street.
Memory banks are full.
Feelings deep.
A flash back to a past reality.
Now no longer home.
Now no longer our reality.
33 years in London has changed me as I work for change in self and others.

We will never sleep in this home again come the end if this week.
I guess we will visit infrequently.
No regrets but still have feelings.

The Sheilas assembled here Tuesday night ready for the funeral on Wednesday.
Joy x 2 flights from working in Tuscany, Italy.
Ann Trained up from TV world in London.
Relatives gathered together with others who have not eyeballed since the last funeral.
We enjoyed each other.
Loved the interactions.
We feel some connectedness which only comes via Families due to multiple childhood memories and mutual experiences.
And we also had great friends with us.
Strange being together in such circumstances but we are happy about it.

We wanted to celebrate a life lived.
We did.
Like all of us are, she was a human of beautiful imperfection - but unique of course.

I am reflective of course.
Not sad.
Odd - yes.
Beautiful. Yes.
Like you.
Different from you but just as beautifully unique as you are ....

Saturday, October 18, 2008

When we have been away, Zig comes and sits on my knee, Mac and, because he has missed Joan so much, he sits on her knee. We have been away due to the sudden death of Joan's Mum. Now we must depart again for the funeral and the necessary details around it.

Sunday we are away again and Zig, even with friendly neighbours, will be without his mates again. We go 'up north' for the funeral. Monday I am working in Leeds, Tuesday is preparing for the Wednesday funeral. Thursday is clear up.
I guess that we will never sleep there again - this house where Joan lived as a child, the same street where I was born and met this attractive girl playing in the park.

It is closure for us in many ways.
That is the word both of us agree on.
We feel that.
The rest of the feelings are a bit mushy. Here am I - working hard at this feeling stuff, somewhat confused about my feelings. I feel a bit spaced. Not motivated. Aware that I want to tackle all the jobs around me - yet I am non-functiono (I once saw that on the side of a broken coffee machine in Italy!)

I will be a non attendee at work this coming week. I feel a bit bad about it. I accept that I have to be away from regular life.

I will try to blog during the next week. I will not have the convenience of wireless and broadband - but I will blog on my iPhone. As usual, I will click feelings and maybe not so much detail because so much of it belongs to other beautiful humans. I guess some days later, I will be in a fit state to reflect better on life.
Reality is interesting to me - and death is part of that for all of us sometimes.

Be beautiful - I am trying. (and I just love the music being played on this blog RIGHT NOW - love it love it.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

'To Survive'
Joan As Policewoman

sleep now, little one
I'll sing to you, little one
there's no one here
who means you any harm
little one
I know what it means to be sad
it never goes
so learn to hold it close
as a friend
'cause we never know how much we can take
before we break
the spell in our
haunted house

I've never felt alone
like I do now, this moment
I don't belong here at all
must find the spark to go on

little one
'cause I owe it to us
to tend the fire
and fend off fear
the fear in me
so near to me
it never goes
so learn to let it in
like the rain
'caause we never know
how much we can take
before the storm breaks
the storm of our wild design

I've never felt this way
or maybe I do everyday
what is this gift to be alive?
must find the spark,
the spark to survive.

Written following the death of her Mother.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I love working with students.
It is a big break from the norm.
But it is still exciting and challenging.
Emotional Literacy was the subject.
Experiential was the methodology.
Motion changes emotion.
Level Five Communication
and I loved it.
Different responses than those from children's homes, prisons, front-line workers and youth workers.
I am back at Kings College in June 2009.

Joan comes home today.
Really glad.
She has been sorting all the things which need to be done after a death.
I feel deeply for her, she has been majestic - and have my own feelings too.
Then we travel back North on Sunday together.
I have a gig on Monday in Leeds so I will travel there and back to St Helens.
That will give us Tuesday to finalise things for the funeral next Wednesday.

I have had to, reluctantly miss out on some courses I had been committed to lead.
I really hate letting humans down. And missing these experiences myself.
But, rightly, there is a clear priority.
I will even have to miss the Friday night Brick Lane curry.
That is a big miss.

We have had some great messages of support and comfort.
Little one liners on Facebook,
cards pushed through the door or via the postman
and emails from around the world.

I feel somewhat fragile and I think my cough has drained me some.
I am on antibiotics from the Doctor - one weeks supply from today.
I was in bed by 11 last night - and I am a 2 am in the morning person.

Understanding feelings is a massive help.
Feeling them, not hiding from them, and managing them.
Feelings, like behaviours, need to be clocked and then ask why the behaviour and why the feelings.
In the case of a death in the family, it could be easy to say 'that is the reason for the fragility'.
But there are multiple feelings which range through love to fear.
I have been thinking much, recently, that there maybe only two real feelings
Love and Fear.
All other feelings are sub-headings under these.
Not developed the thinking but those two words are all around me as I work with those with special needs, students, professional workers and head for a funeral of a loved one.
I will leave that with you to stir your thoughts.

I am fragmented in thoughts and also blogging.
You will understand because we meet at a point of hurt
as well as joy, stretch, journey, love, humour, being and becoming .........
...... don't we?

bBlessed today as we take a deep breath of life together right now ....................


Monday, October 13, 2008

The Blob Bible

by Ian Long Pip Wilson

The Blob Bible by Ian Long Pip Wilson (Book) in Religion & Spirituality
Copyright: © 2008 Ian Long and Pip Wilson Standard Copyright License
Language: English
Country: United Kingdom
Edition: First Edition
  • Download £11.25
  • Paperback book £14.40
Download: 1 documents , 40444 KB

Printed: 50 pages , 8.26" x 11.69", coil binding , black and white interior ink


The Blob Bible (part 1) was created with the intention of removing words from the meaning of the Bible and allowing the reader to grasp the heart of the stories. For many Christians this may come as a surprise as the Bible is known as the ‘word of God’. Each picture tries to faithfully retell key moments from the accounts of people experiencing God. The images are intended to be used as a start to discussion on stories which many people have become used to hearing but may have never entered into. The Blobs allow the reader to think about how the characters may have been feeling as events unfolded. In the Blob Bible, the heart of the story is ‘the heart’.