Thursday, November 30, 2006

Crisis in Puddingsville

.... for some reason Joan thought I was working at home so she left instructions for me to keep an eye on her two home-cooked Christmas puddings. She had left them steaming for eight hours and she was gone.

My Youth Worker brain is never at it's best in a morning but I eventually realised that I was going out too and the puds were on a bubbling roll ........

A few missed phone calls to Joan and I left the puddings well topped up with boiling water and I slipped into the commuting stream .......

I was on my way to meet Sharmeela in The New Piccadilly Restaurant - the Cathedral of Caffs - with an orgasm of yellow Formica .................

On the way - on the Tube ............... one young Asian man offered me his seat and I said "I am ok thanx".
Then, further down the carriage, a young Asian woman stood up and walked away to leave a place for me to sit. So I smiled at her boyfriend at my side and grinned with pleasure. How positive is this - generosity - loveit.

Met with Sharmeela in the NuPic and talked and talked ........ loveditlovedit.
She is a new friend and ex work-mate.
She is soon to visit her man in Mombia so it was great to catch her before she disappeared .......

All was well in Puddingsville when I got home ........

Check these two blogs which are my regular favourites.
I have about 20 blogs on my bookmarks but so few blog with any regularity ....... grrr - I like to know what is happening out there ....
........... there is a few more over here (on the right wing of my blog )...........

............... and don't you just love the music on my blog?

..... I don't want a SatNav for Christmas because I hope it will be a feature on the new/rumoured iMobile sometime in the new year .....
...... plus music and movies and free calls via Skype/wi-fi/etc..

iPod manufacturer reportedly wins iPhone contract .... ......
Taiwan's Hon Hai Precision, which has long manufactured a number of Apple products including the iPod, has reportedly won a contract to manufacture 12 million mobile phone handsets for Apple.

Citing industry sources, the paper said the phones will launch in the first half of next year and will "also function as music players", in line with a September Think Secret report. Sources have said Apple is hoping to have the pieces in place to launch the iPhone at Macworld Expo San Francisco in January hey hey.

The Commercial Times also reports that Hon Hai has won a contract to manufacturer Apple's "new 15-inch 'MacBook' personal computers which it will deliver starting next month or in January." It's unclear if the story is referring to an entirely new MacBook model, all of which currently feature 13-inch displays, or Apple's recently upgraded MacBook Pro.


Behaviour issues drugs difficult strong obnoxious attitude

.... on the tube home tonight and I was making notes about a task ahead.
This group of young humans who I have been asked to work with. Cold contact. Impact needed quickly. Or they will face tough times before Christmas.

I describe

Behaviour issues

No purpose
No hope
At risk
Seek excitement
No responsibilities
No accountabilities
Beautiful humans.

I need to design a session with them
It is sometimes called
Informal Education
It is more than that ...........

Some years ago there was a group of teenage young women who terrorised others in the community.
Real intimidating, oppressive and aggressive.
They were a gang really.
Beautifully dressed and without boundaries...........
Then ..............
Me and a couple of women workers got them to come out in a mini-bus. We had to sell the adventure - it was exciting - so they came.

We travelled well into the countryside in the evening darkness. We left the urban inner-city scene behind as we had some fun singing in the bus.
We ended up at Fellowship Afloat. It was, and still is, a boating activity centre and suddenly the young women became out of their depth. The first thing I remember was their high heeled shoes having trouble walking down the gravel path to the boat. It was pitch dark. Only one torch to show the way. Water on each side of the footpath.
Walking into darkness from darkness.
They started to cling to me and the other workers like their lives depended on us.

Eventually the lights of the motor boat appeared ahead and we clambered aboard and set sail into the darkness ........
I was scared - and there was much more clinging.
Later ........
We returned to base and sipped sweet tea and had fellowship aboard.

On the way back in the bus there was an incredible sense of relief and achievement. And from the girls too.
We talked and talked all the way back. I remember some details of those interactions.
I asked a question to everyone, as I often do.
"Chose any animal for each one of us in the bus - one which has the characteristics of that human - and say why?"
I don't remember the details other than it was an most wondrous experience of openness and listening.
AND that they told me that I was a 'sheep dog' - loyal - working hard - AND always running around yapping ...

I don't remember us having any great hassle with the girls after this adventure. I guess we still had some. But relationships were great and we started a group for them which was once a week. Just for them. Loads of decision making and participation.
I only remember the small details mentioned above .......
..... but it was about twenty five years ago .......!


Tuesday, November 28, 2006

"Your persistent longing is your persistent voice.
But when love grows cold,
the heart grows silent.

Burning love is the outcry of the heart!

If you are filled with longing all the time,
you will keep crying out,
and if your love perseveres,
your cry will be heard without fail."



.... he is a bit like me
I think ..........

Had a day off today to do some Christmas shopping with Joan.
We went to Bluewater, a Massive out of town Shopping centre on the east side of London - a few minutes from the M25.

At the same time we caught the new James Bond movie, he is a bit like me ...... hard, tough, glam, fighter, shooter, handsome, a film star ................... well .... perhaps not!

It was really good.
I don't go to many movies but get bored in the middle of King Kong and Titanic ...... and sometimes fall asleep.

This one was a break from the last few years of silly films - stupid humour and gimmicks.
It was a real thriller which kept me awake and gripped.

Stepping out into reality we called for a coffee before resuming shopping.
Krispy Kreme Donuts was the nearest and I loved the young woman who was serving us SO MUCH that I asked her to marry me.

As I was getting served she handed me two warm donuts and told me they were free because the red light has come on.
I said a big thanx of course and asked who put the light on - she smiled and said "me"

hey hey ......... I pulled!
well - pulled two donuts-!!


Monday, November 27, 2006

....... it is late here at
Wilson Mansions .......

..... and I have a commitment to being 'Level 5'
as open as possible ...........
as my favourite book says::
'Why am I afraid to tell you who I am ......'

...... the reason, and the answer to the question, is on the back cover of my favourite book .... ... ........
' ..... because if I tell you who I am and you don't like who I am, that is all I have.'

I have tried to give up on masks .......... and it is only possible if I am able to be honest about my::

I have shared a few of the above on these cyber pages.
I share them when I am facilitating training.
I share more when I am with the Level 5 group which has been together for 26 years.
I share them most of all when I am striving to work with a group of beautiful humans who are going through tough times.
Aching with pain
Toothache in body mind spirit
Who are shaking from their struggle with life
Who are scared of the humans in the group
Scared of me.
I share
I need to
I want to ..........

'Level Five' communication
does have a potential for personal pain ....... yet it is a;
survival tool
a source of enjoyment
information bank
a deep well
a tool for problem solving
a self learning exercise
and it changes lives.

Paul Simon sings;-
"I am a rock
I am an island
and a rock feels no pain ......."

"A rock feels no pain .."!
because a rock

We may seem to be rocks to others
rock solid
firm foundations
and it is good that we have attributes
if we hide behind them
believe our own PR
spin ............
we will not be authentic
only showing a part
not the whole
never wholistic
never fully alive

"The glory of God is a person fully alive"

At the age of 21 I decided on a way which I believed was the best
I wanted the best life possible
a way to become rich
I am financial poor
I am on a road of richness
A road of becoming ...........

"He who was rich became poor".


...... HOME FROM 'UP NORTH' AND .....

.... on the mat was this album by
Sufjan Stevens

It is a five disc box set of Christmas songs, some traditional and some self created by the exciting man himself.
42 Songs/Carols in total!!!
I have all is albums .....
Also there is a song book and cartoons and methinx it would make a great Christmas present for many humans. (Maybe you?)

Funny enough - I downloaded most of these trax from a Website when they were free last Christmas.
It was one of my Big-Joys last Christmas.
But I wanted to buy it this Christmas - because it is wondrous.
I never recomend anything because your taste is different than mine - but this is stinking beautiful .......
Songs done so beautifully different. .....
£10.99 from Play dot com
and I guess you can buy from iTunes too.

I plan to float a few of dem tunes on my PiPod come the Advent Season onwards ......... Advent Sunday coming next Sunday .... ......

I will do some reflecting from my week-end tomorrow as I have trod the paths of my youth hey hey ..............

stay beautiful


Saturday, November 25, 2006

.... this is Joan with Lyn her friend and also was her Bridesmaid some blurred years ago ....... we are at the Pea and Lyn Mansions right now ..

Friday, November 24, 2006

The Blob Tree

Which one is you right now?
Which one was you when you were at your worst?
Which one would you like to be - right now?

If you actually ask yourself these questions and come up with answers - it becomes experiential.
Otherwise it is just words.
When we have an experience - we grow.
It also helps to forge direction.
Without knowing it sometimes - this internal dialogue is a learning experience .....

One last comment.
If we do that with others, 'others' is at least one other, it becomes even more experiential and the learning all the more powerful.

Try it ...................

these are pip wilson questions just for you ......

Thursday, November 23, 2006

....... aware that I did
a long blog last night and I don't do that!

Don't often read long blogs!

Joan was watching the football
(the round ball game)
and during those times I always do other things like read/iPod/music/blog/work/ if I am actually indoors.

I wind-up my beloved regarding her football interest - but really admire her interest an knowledge which started as a kid when her uncle, ex Man United player, took her to see matches.
She also stayed up late to watch the cricket on TV zzzzzzz - can a man never escape this endless round ball .......

Had a few meetings in town today.
The tubes and Trains solid. Packed. Rammed.

As always - dropped in to the NuPic::
The New Piccadilly, Denman Street W1
Described by the Financial Times as an
"orgasm of searing yellow Formica",
this is truly a cathedral amongst caffs run by the irrepressible Lorenzo
(a true son of Soho) and his crack team of uniformed waiters.
This is the last of the big hitters left in Soho and one of the largest original cafes left in Britain:
pink Formica coffee machine,
big plastic horseshoe shaped menu,
wall-to-wall laminate surfaces and lots of brilliant booth seating.
Even the New Piccadilly menu is a stone design classic.
A place of reverence.

I have been a frequent guest for about 25 years and was Rammed today.
Met with two beautiful human journalists - loveitloveit .....
and forgot my camera
'FORGOT my camera'! - stink.

It had a creative buzz of interactive communication between us - it felt like I was 'working' in that I got the same sorta buzz as I do when working a group .....
I hope the meeting, and the fab chat, will result in a regular item from me in a monthly magazine ........... more details as it emerges .......

Later on I was back in the Cathedral and met a human who is at the heart of "U" and followed by a number "2" and heard lots of stories ......
.... and did you know?? that the new album with the box set has got a dvd with some great videos .........
..... it is on my Christmas list along with the new ones from::
Tom Waits
Underworld (film score)
Sat Nav - oh sorry - that isn't a band !!

We talked and poured self revelation like there was no tomorrow ............ loveitloveit .......

I am away 'up north' for a three day trip to see family and participate in a wedding.
Will send you reminder/mind jogs messages of 'you are beautiful' from there .......

From here:: are beautiful ...........



A Girl. A Hostel. From 'CARE'.

...... hi - thanx for being there and willing to scroll with me down these words clicked from a stumbling soul at Wilson Mansions ............

I am all about wholeness but I know clearly how much I fail in the subject.

A professor of imperfection - 
but beautiful all the same ...........

I am thinking about the thought I left with you last night -

all about unconditional love.

I have had thoughts
I have started to dig the well
I am wondering what to share from my un-resolve ..............

What about this beautiful human?

Seventeen years old,
a young woman
seven months living in the hostel,
following eight years in a Children’s Home –
‘in Care’ it is called.
Ten GCSEs.
Strong with words and opinions.
Lives on ten pounds a week, including the costs of
cosmetics, toiletries, transport, non-hostel food.
Bitter against all the systems and structures – including the hostel.
Cannot get a job, she says, because living at the hostel is a stigma.

How do I work with - and I need to say - how do I love ............

Unconditional love ................ hmmmm
I want to click some words about this and don't know where to start.
Love escapes me - but I am in hot pursuit.
There is no learning
learning to love ......

I want to love unconditionally and strive to do that.
In fact - I live to do that.

The bhp thing - and
'you are beautiful'
'you are a beautiful human person' phrases I use ......
These are affirmations which I use in face to face situations, and here of course.
They come out of a decision about the most obnoxious behaviour which emanates out of human person.
It is a decision to believe and put into practice::
that it is beautiful and essential to be accepting, valuing and loving of that person and this is the best way of contributing to that one life.

I was working in East London with criminal and violent street gangs when this came at me.
My faith made me look again and away from the conventional media 'yob' talk.
My faith made me look again at the person before me - and I realised that God loves that human despite behaviour.
My faith made me look again at the beautiful human before me and see through the behaviour - to the very soul - to a person in pain.
My faith and a sense of failure made me look at a wider spectrum of responses to 'hard to reach humans'.
My faith and recent progress with my own 'self acceptance' made me realise that this human needs love more than all things.
So I fell in love - fell into love - tripped up on love - and dove right in ...............

I could write so much about love and also my failure to love.
More words and songs and poems are written about love than all other subjects,
But I will leave it here for now.

NOW - this Unconditional stuff - bit scary to think about this.
Do you think?
If we examine this - can we do little else but admit we fail?

Unconditional: dictionary = not limited by conditions; absolute:

actual, all out, assured, categorical, certain, clear, complete, decisive, definite, determinate, downright, entire, explicit, final, flat out, full, genuine, indubitable, no catch*, no kicker*, no strings*, open, out-and-out*, outright, plenary, positive, straight out, thorough, thoroughgoing, total, unconstrained, unequivocal, unlimited, unmistakable, unmitigated, unqualified, unquestionable, unreserved, unrestricted, utter, whole, wide open

incomplete, limited

I say that I am committed to unconditional love with all the humans I am in contact with.
I say that I am imperfection in it
I say that I believe I will always be imperfection in it - but that is ok ...
..... as long as I strive ......

So the young human above::
I will be with her
Hang out
Be around if she wants to also be around
I will never push - give opinions ........ NEVER use the word 'should'.
I will accept her as she is.
Value her because of her qualities and unique personality.
At the right time she will become secure enough with me to talk in confidence
asking if it is confidential many times
From a life of broken promises and untrusting relationships - she needs this .....
She will tell me things and I will listen and ask gentle questions to help out ........
Eventually, maybe after some long time, she will ask what do I think?
and I will offer her a simple model which she can picture and can also be a tool for her life toolbox ......
Maybe a scribbled five steps and a simple graphic which I call 'Level Five' communication .........
Nothing which will enable her to become dependent ........
Something which she will be liberated by .........
A tool to use today and tomorrow .......
and ....... establish a good authentic open relationship so she can talk again in her own time
when she is mad
yearning ...............

I will continue to think into this one ........ and will get back to you

"Presence and availability
are the essence of love"

Gabriel Marcel

"God doesn't see how we're supposed to be,
He sees the way we ARE.
and loves us... no matter what."


Wednesday, November 22, 2006

‘In times of change

the learners
will inherit the earth,
while the knowers
will find themselves
beautifully equipped
to deal with a world
that no longer exists’

Eric Hoffer
The Commute::
0.5 Standing on the Tube/Train
0.5 Reading the Guardian Newspaper
0.5 Prepping my schedule
1.0 Walking
1.0 Reading a 'soul food' book
2.5 Sitting on the Tube/Train
4.0 iPod Music in my ears

I will leave you with a thought
Mull over this
work it out from your own unique experience
I will blog about this once I have mulled ........

"Unconditional Love
Unless it is unconditional love
it is .................. manipulation"


Monday, November 20, 2006

When ....

.... I am with humans, ..........
accepting humans as they are,
is always the right thing.
Not always the easy thing.

I hate to say this but,
I sometimes have an inner 'cringe' when I am close up to an individual
and can smell the pain
- the disaster of a life lived.

I feel helpless.
It hurts and I feel helpless.
I feel I want to hug.
because I know of nothing else.

I admire too.
What they face
what they have before them
what they have in terms of inner strength
is often little
drained away.

Outside -
'on show'
to the beautiful human -
I am calm.
I look into their eyes and try to connect.
Chemical eyes so so often.
Outside ........
the 'on show' me .........
is a sensitive and loving me,
not shocked,
not cringing away ......
and that is real.

I have the deepest of feelings for the damaged souls.
It comes down to the soul.
It is not just body damage,
not just mental damage,
not just relational damage,
parental rejection,
not just a lifetime of rejection ........
it is soul damage ........
a poverty that is imprisoning the spirit
Damaged by a collection of the above and sometimes more .......
and stuff we will never will know.

The hurt it can do to my soul .............
it is draining and the need and skill and awareness to stay positive and loving and affirming - is a drain.
But that is the place I want to be be.

Pain and uncomfortableness -
I refuse neither.

Drained or not.
I offer all I can.

That is why I need you.
Need my friends.
Need humans who love me and accept me.
That is soul food.
That is the thing I live for.
Giving till it hurts and receiving like the thirsty ........ and I am!

So I do these things -
live these things -
yearn these things.
I write and reflect and learn.

I need to write and stumble and fumble
and trip
with my inadequate and inarticulate self because,
..................... that too,
is soul food.

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I...
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference".

Robert Frost


Sunday, November 19, 2006

I get inspired when I meet humans .......... and I spend a lot of time in my work being a support worker in a one-on-one.

It is never the same - all unique humans - all unique circumstances.........
... sometime someone is going through a tough time and need a good listening to.. .......
.... other times it maybe that someone is not performing at work and is in need of support and affirmation - aren't we all?
.... and then there is the ones who have decided they need professional supervision - in my trade called 'Non-Managerial Supervision'. This means that I am in no way connected to the management system and a million miles away fro being their Line Manager. Often in these situation, I listen and sometimes ask questions which open up the human and they discover pearls within their experience which can be directional and motivational.
...... other times there is a situation such as being harassed or even abused in the workplace.
..... sometimes it is a Student who needs supervision as part of their course.

All this helps me.
I come alive.
I get paid for this stuff
and I love it.

I meet with others not it is not work but non the less inspirational.
Had a coffee with Mr Singh after Church today. He is a great man of wisdom and ...........
I love listening to him and placing his words in a fishing net so I can catch a big one!

Met with 'James Xhevahir Gjini' last week, I call him James, what a great man.

When you go into Costa Coffee you have to ask for Fair Trade Coffee - usually they have it an do it for you.

Starbucks Coffee
When you go in you see multiple signs saying::
'Fair-trade coffee brewing here'
last time I went into one just outside Ealing Tube Station - I asked three times for Fair Trade Coffee and still did not get it.
When i pressed the case with the third Staff member - I was told that the signs about 'fresh fair trade coffee brewing' - these were about 'filter coffee' which you have to ask for.
Default is rip off coffee and both are riding on the backs of the Fair Trade movement and selling their coffee (the coffee from humans who don't get fair wages actually)
Please consider ASKING for Fair Trade ..................
.... and spreading the word around your friends ....

and enemies

I had the coffee with James and was inspired by his energy and commitment.
We both talked about Ian Luck, a Romford man, who has lived and run a large YMCA in America but has now gone to live in Albania for a year. He will be working with the YMCAs there to help support them as they try to develop a strong YMCAs movement which builds healthy minds bodies spirits and communities in that nation - so poor and needy.

James is from Kosova and has been here for nearly 9 years. So many humans are prejudiced about such a beautiful human. Usually because they are a million miles from mixing with them. Often they are in a bubble, often inflated by such as the Daily Mail and Daily Express, and are fed by stories of horror which polarises.
"That shall not be the way among you" - comes to mind.

James is a man of passion and mission. In the early days, following the horrors and slaughter in Kosova, when so many fled for their lives - I started a support network across East London.
He was traumatised himself.
He became the Chairman. Now he is keen to use his "vast experience" - my words - to help everyone he knows but also the deprived in his own nation - as is Ian Luck.

As I have travelled to eastern Europe, since 1990, I am shocked by how many times those nations have been occupied by other nations.
We in the UK do not know what it is like to have invaders over centuries. (Historically we have been the occupier! )
They have seen all their men being sent to Siberia or having their hands cut off.
Because we are an island here in the UK - we have been saved from all that and can be insensitive to it all who have had a very different experiences. I have met so many people of vocal Christian faith like this - sadly.

Next time you hear an accent which is not your own - try asking
"Where is your accent from?"
and then following it with a few questions of depth.
One question is to ask how long their country have had their Independence and be ready for the shock ......

Kosova has still not got Independence ...............

.you - you are beautiful ............
............Message from Adolfus in India ......... this pic, and two others, were sent to me from a mobile phone using GPRS from a remote village in India ........ I need to keep up ........

There is a hope that Apple Mac might be announcing a Mobile phone sometime in the New Year ...... talking tech .....

If you go to::
and type::
U2 vertigo willie
you will see some video from the man himself ......

and have you seen the great one from Jonny Cash on youtube?
paste this in to your browser::

you are beautiful .....



"Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.

It will keep you cramped and insane the whole of your life ....
... perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief
that if you run carefully enough,
hitting each step just right,
you won't have to die.
The truth is that you will die anyway
and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet
are going to do a whole lot better than you,
and have a lot more fun while they are doing it."

Anne Lamott
'Bird by Bird'


Saturday, November 18, 2006




.... I feel emotionally flat right now ....

The Level five group w/e is off due to cramp in the diaries of a few of our special humans ........... but we have been together for 26 years so we WILL meet again come January/February.

Now I have a w/e of lack of direction with so much I want to do with lots more I don't want to do ....

Emotions hmmmmmm ....
During my week-ends away over the last few weeks I have returned home and done one thing first. That was to watch a recorded DVD featuring the Great Britain Rugby League Team as they battled through some tough games down under.

Two weeks ago I was on a high because we beat Australia in a Test match - we don't do that too often in any sport eh?

Today I was up early to watch them play again - the winners going to the final next Saturday. Tomorrow we will be flying home. We lost ....... sad so sad ........

So ............ the season ends until February when my team, come on the Saints, will start their battle to win all three trophies again ........... and I loveitloveit .......

Reflection - re the photographs here::
When these little girls were aged 8 and 2 we left our northern England home town called St Helens.
We went to live and work in East London UK.
We took them to live in a community that had::
The highest crime rate in the country .......
The worst education in the country ........

It was the worst time in my life when it comes to living and working.
It was the same for Joan.
It was the best time in my life in terms of learning .......
The Sheilas did fantastic and met a range of humans that has contributed to their lives like nothing else would have.
The are have become adults with the most wondrous qualities - doing great work and the most generous, loyal and loving as any humans could be .........

Regrets No
Scars yes
Learning yes
Hard Hearted No
Vulnerable Yes
Beautiful Yes
Imperfection Yes
More Yes than No - and I feel ok about that ..........


Friday, November 17, 2006

is not a very popular attitude.
In fact,
most people consider waiting a waste of time.
Perhaps this is because the culture in which we live is basically saying,
“Get going!
Do something!
Show you are able to make a difference!
Don’t just sit there and wait!” For many people,
waiting is an awful desert between where they are and where they want to go.
And people do not like such a place.
They want to get out of it by doing something.

In our particular historical situation, waiting is even more difficult because we are so fearful.
One of the most pervasive emotions in the atmosphere around us is fear.
People are afraid
– afraid of inner feelings,
afraid of other people,
and also afraid of the future.
And fearful people have a hard time waiting.

"Waiting for God"
Henri Nouwen

This Woman is a Television Director and her programme called 'Pimp My Ride' is on UK TV tonight - Channel 5.
You may wish to see it if you can stay up late until 7.30pm?
On this wee pic she is two years old and just having an afternoon cuppa tea and a break between all the domestic tasks ....
Otherwise she is known as 'Little Sheila' to her PipDaddy


.... This is my Thursday blog and it is Friday already!!

So much not told you .............. some I will never because it is too sensitive and confidential to me because it is confidential to another human .....
So ..........
I will show you my week (in parts) ....
My Photographic Week .............

Thursday, November 16, 2006


................ it's the only culture
some people have.


Wednesday, November 15, 2006


The reason is
- if change and development is to take place in a persons life

it needs an inside job.

My answer to the question is ::

- my answer is ..........
when I was around 40.

All my life till then
I had been going through life thinking
If only I was good looking .....
If only I was intelligent .....
If only I was educated .....
If only I wasn't fat .....
If only .........

My answer to the question was
That is when I accepted myself.
That is when the BHP thing came.
You are a 'beautiful human person'.

I accepted myself as I was
God had
and now
I faced reality.
Self acceptance - heard of it?

Later the 'beautiful imperfection' concept came::
we are



beautiful -

imperfection -


.... a kind human contacted me and said he was listening to my piPod music in Norway and I loveitloveit ....
Hi Harvard.

Another beautiful human cantacted me and said he was moved when he read an item I clicked in my blog some time ago and is in my archives somewhere - so I re-looked and I want to share it with you again::

... sometimes tears come on me when I am not expecting them.

Today - just read in the newspaper about how Israeli Troops had stopped a Palestinian man on the way to a violin lesson. The forced him to play as they laughed.

There has been some negative feedback;

- not about the 13 year old girl who was shot by the troops and then again with multiple shots to her dead body - with the comments that they would have shot her if she had been 3 years old....

- not negative feed back either when there was a report how a corpse of a Palestinian was desecrated by impaling his head on a pole and placing a cigarette between his lips...

THE UPSET WAS, rightly, because the treatment of the violinist reminded some sensitive people that very act was used during the holocaust by the Nazi camp commanders. They forced Jewish violinists to play for them as they mass murdered humans.

That hit me deep.
It is yet another example how humans can slip into injustice to the point of death.
It happened in the build up the the death of Jesus.
I see it in Iraq.
I weep as I read it here.

God bless us and keep us from such terrible behaviour - even unto death ....

I feel like screaming ..........


Pain is good
without it
we would be in danger

we strive to get rid of it

it is a signal to get rid of it

feelings are good
they are not there to tell us we are rubbish
they are there as a signal
to do something

don't let that pain
don't let those feelings
control us
manipulate our exterior or interior being
let them signal
do their job

there is a beautiful human with you who is the decider .......


.... from the desk of pip wilson ...
Dance like no-one is watching
Sing like no-one is listening
Love like you have never been hurt.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

"I want to
disclose feelings.

Unless I disclose my feelings to you
You don't know me
you only know my activity
you only read my body language
you only feel me through the clicking of distant keys
I want to disclose - it is good for me
it is good for our relationship

Sometimes I will be sad, frustrated, lonely, hurt, failing ......
amongst the golden stuff
when I tell you I hurt
that does not mean I am destroyed and lame
it means I am stretching my sensitivity to my interior
and not being an exterior human - only."

© pip wilson


.... Hi
you special human ........

.... I am in late from a Greenbelt meeting - or could say the few pints in the pub afterwards ...
..... I have some good pics in the cam but they will need to wait until late tomorrow.

I am feeling ok - bit troubled that Joan has a bad cold and I am out and away ........

.... but Joy Sheila is back from Thialand but is away to S Africa again soon. Miss her and not seen her for some time.

Little Ann Sheila is charging around the country pointing a camera crew in the right direction.

Got a busy long day just around the corner but I am keen and I know it will stretch me so ...

..... off to zzzzzzzedz

"It is not religion that is the base of all evil - it is certainty"

Howard Jacobson
in The Independent Newspaper

you are beautiful
lets be uncertain together .........