Tuesday, October 31, 2006

"Relationships are the source of our growth as persons.

There must be at least one person with whom he or she is totally open and feels totally safe at the same time"

Paul Tournier

.... my beautiful humans of the day and I have not EVEN done yesterday yet!!

..... and these are not Finnish ....... I am back to work in the big city of London now. Great time working with humans who are also motivated and keen to do and stretch and I loveitloveit .....

This week I have the energy to put into alsorts of things ...... so watch this space ........ and......

.....at the week-end I have another week-end away.

It is the Greenbelt Trustees residential. We will be going to Iona Mansions in the beautiful Cotswolds.
English countryside at it's best.

We will be reviewing the last festival and doing important work to ensure we continue to deliver the best Christian Arts Festival in the world. . .....

.... lot of other news to tell you but still on catch-up with life ........ but is good to have the energy and not even think of feeling not well.

My time in Finland, and the airport waiting time, has left me with lots of inspiration which I will expell on you wee glass screen in the coming days.
I am really keen to complete another book.
I am just in great need of help. Yesterday the was an offer which may help me to re-publish one of my out of print books - reasonably soon!

O God,

Giver of Life

Bearer of Pain

Maker of Love ...................

bBlessed you beautiful special human ....................


Monday, October 30, 2006

..... this is Tuula .......

I was eating Reindeer in a Restaurant in Helsinki on Saturday when Tuula asked me a question.

..... " was you scared? " .........

She was asking about when I worked with violent gangs in East London.
I just chatted away about it ..........
I said how I grew up with the youngsters - into adolescence and then adulthood.
How great they were when meeting them in the market or in pairs.
Then I talked about how tense it was when they were in a group. Sociologically still referred to as 'a gang'.
It was tense being among them. Anything could happen. Yet it was normal for them and came to be so for me also.

I mentioned to Tuula how for ten years, the whole time I worked in this context, I had acid indigestion and regularly took tablets.
When I left that job the symptom stopped..

Then I said to Tuula, because the reflection brought me to a reality based answer, .. . ... ... ..
... ... ...." I was scared all the time".

I have never said that before.
Never thought that before.
But it was reality for me - I now believe.

It has been a long time since I have reflected upon all this. This reflection hit me with a fresh emotion.
I remembered living in tension when I was with the young adults.
When I was preparing for the work.
During the day.
Days off - all the time other than when I moved away from the community for a break.

Joan told me today that she remembers me saying I was scared to walk out in the streets sometimes.
I remember Joan being physically being sick in the toilet because she was picking up the tension from me.

I remember at one period:: I wore shoes with metal protective at the front. Industrial type shoes and boots!
All that to do youth work.
I have never told anyone about this before.

I was scared all the time...........

Interesting that the sickness I had last week was gastric.
Today I went to see the Doctor about the problem.
It is not stomach cancer because it would be more regular and there would be unplanned weight loss.
It is not an ulcer because there would be blood in motions and when I coughed.
She said it looked like the lining of my stomach is damaged and the natural production of acid is now overproducing.
I have been given 4 weeks supply of tablets to reduce the acid production with view to the damage being repaired.

I wonder if the damage was done during the work I described above?

Strange feelings here at the Wilson Mansions.
Not regrets.
But the memory of all this has disturbed me.
It is good to be disturbed.

All this is very personal. Hope you don't mind. Had to let it out.

Thanx Tuula for the question.
Thanx to you too .........
for listening .................

Sunday, October 29, 2006

I am in
Eurovision Contest Winners land.

Heavy Metal !
Joy, one of the Sheilas, once came here when she was on a European Tour as wardrobe for a Heavy Metal band called KISS. Remember them?

I am also in the land of beautiful humans ............ and that is the most exciting ........ seeing these beautiful humans emerging with their personality and unique individual character.

Only doing sessions with a wide range of humans - I haven't spent a day or a w/e with any group so I have only peeped under the bed-sheets of their souls. I just trust that the experiences I have facilitated will have taken everyone outside their comfort zones, think I believe that, and that they are glad they have been there.
In a safe environment, as part of a group, it is easier to do that rather in real life.
But who said life is about 'the easier'?

I also trust that each person will have recognised they have been in a place of 'self revelation'.
And a place called 'feelings'.
AND I trust that each will have tapped a deep well within them where much beautifulness and churning is going on - and that they wish to continue along the Road Less Travelled into their interior self.

Fins tell me that they are not good at talking about feelings.
I have seen and felt and delighted in so many during the four days here.
I consider that each one has a journey to undertake towards being able to feel their feelings and name each one.
Knowing that that ugly feeling inside is 'anger', for instance, is a big step forward towards working that through and turning all that raw emotion into positive energy.
Knowing that that deep joy with is feeling 'I have achieved', another example, can trigger all sorts of purposeful living in that direction.

If we struggle with these 'signals' called feelings - it is difficult to go on and use the Tools in our 'Life Toolbox' which will help the fix.

I will reflect more ............ I need to because this whole experience has fed my soul ............ hope I am not the only one!
Tuula was great and kind and extra to take me out in Helsinki for a few hours - even though she was in recovery from a bad cold.
I ended with a dinner together and it was traditional Finnish. I had Reindeer for the first time and finished with a Finnish pancake - so great.
We also had a deep discussion which triggered deep feelings with in me .......... on e question she asked me ............" was you scared? .............

I will blog about that soon - need to - must do .......

Heading home soon .........

"Sina ou_let kow_nis perzona"

(You are a beautiful human person)

Saturday, October 28, 2006

..tis the end of the day .............. only 10.30 UK time and 12.30 here. Seems along and it has been eventful. Working with groups of humans who don't know me.
Me no Finnish they having to concentrate hard because I am not talking about the weather. I do send them into groups where they speak Finnish but when we are in open session it is all my first language.
I only know two languages::
~ English
~ Body!!

But - only 7% of communication is verbal. So I make the 93% active(Motion Changes Emotion) and use lots of stories, visuals, and interactive exercises.

Really tired now. Need to prepare for the morning session. I know what I am doing but I need to recap every step and every possible scenario so I am tuned into them and still have clear focus on objectives and process.

Leaving you with wondrous wishes - may you be uncomfortable
May you 'be'
May you
disturb the comfortable
comfort the disturbed
and in yourself too ............

you are beautiful


Friday, October 27, 2006

.... it is great being among these beautiful humans here .....I am inspired by them ....... more pix and reflection to come ...

I can receive text and emails here but not able to send for some strange reason ......... hey hey

Thursday, October 26, 2006

............. 5 restless hours in bed and my mobile/alarm takes me from awake to
'have to be awake'.

5.30 I have had my morning (healthy) porridge, boots on (no shorts for this trip) and Zombie-like - I am out d door with bags packed for the strict security at Stansted Airport. That is 4 hours before take off - lots a time allowed for traffic and security checks.

The with a delay on top - I relaxed and slumbered on the 2.5 hour light to Helsinki. My unsettled body frame responded to the deep breathing as I pressed 'pause'.
Sipping water from my plastic cup.

Anders Trentemoller was in my ears, head and soul. I love the new album. I will post a wondrous track on my piPod soon. Hope you have the sound up on my blog?

I had bought some new ear plugs (Sennheiser cx300) ........ I have been using Sony ones for years but they seem to self destruct after two months of hard use.

Also - I was on the pen in the little book.
(I always write at airports - I did a fab thing when I was going on holiday in July but have not typed yet)
I was writing about 17/18 of::

"101 Habits of a Human Becoming" ..... this could be a book?
The first one is::
A Human 'becoming' ....
1 Can feel their own feelings and get in touch with each one.
2 Can distinguish between feelings and thoughts.
Well ..... that's two. I will bounce them off you soon and get your view to see if I am pitching it right to be helpful.

Anyway I am here - wondrously met at the Airport by Anna, and a beautiful human volunteer who's name I forget, and transported to a city centre Hotel which belongs to the YMCA. See the last pic here - outside the hotel with the YMCA sign in the background.
Here is my base but will be running session in different venues.
I have set up for a 8.30-11.30 Training Session for Youth Workers in the morning (up at 5 UK time and starting at 6.30am).
I am not complaining - I love this stuff and I will bBlessed as much as anyone in the coming days .......

Thanx for being there
being beautiful ...............

Dance like no-one is watching
Sing like no-one is listening
Love like you have never been hurt.


Wednesday, October 25, 2006

..... when I prepare for a gig - which can be a Training Course or Facilitation of a Group or Team, I write myself out a little Mission Statement to help me focus on what I am about to stumble and fumble into.

This - these words to follow, will be a bit shorthand.
Maybe you won't like them?

Have you forgiven anyone today for their imperfection?
Add me to the list!

I am am aiming to::
Provide Experiences
~will help develop a climate of trust in the groups I work with.
~encouraging to chose, for themselves, to take steps forward for their own development.
~and to join with others, and me, as we journey along The Road Less Travelled into wholeness.

In Social Psychology terms::
~to strive for self-actualisation - to reach out for their potential.

In Christian terms ::
~to be and become 'Shalom' -

- to reach out and work for wholeness with God and for all and in all.(more)


Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The Road Less/Never Travelled because I was sick today.
5 am for about 14 hours I had a big cramp around my solar plexus. It was like I had been punched real hard.
I had Sweats-chills and was lying all over the floor and every place to try to get comfortable and rid of the monster.
I had this about two years ago and ended up with blue flashing lights outside Wilson Mansion because they all thought it was a heart attack.
It was gastric and treated with Gaviscon - which I took in bucket loads today.

So missed two days work because I need to go to the Doc tomorrow.
Let humans down.
Hate that.
I believe vulnerability is a strength not a weakness - but it still hurts.
The pain of the 'let-downs' is worst.

I consider it was caused by::
I had a Peach last night and it was hard. That could have hit/stuck in my digestive system?
I am am still weak from last week and I stumble at my most vulnerable physical place?
All the medication which I have been on, since the Eye Surgery last Tuesday, has unsettled the gut?

When working with humans who have mental health, drug abuse, alcohol abuse issues it is good for me to share with them when I am vulnerable::
.............. they have it rammed down their throat by many who look down on these beautiful humans.
Not considering their own disabilities.
Maybe they have greater skills at hiding them away?
If you are on the rubbish heap of society, in many dis-commpasionate eyes, you never need to to be told you are rubbish ....


8.30 pm
Channel 4

..... here is an eMail into my inbox today and I have permission to share it with you.
It is from Ado.

He came to work with me as I led a community of 'becomers' and we have journeyed alongside each other for five years.
A quiet man when you first meet him
Talented to the core.
Has been generous and supportive to me as long as I have known him.
I have clicked so many words about him as we have done things/events/challenges over the years.

His photos have been in this place ....
And photos of him have been in this place ...........
........ and he is going under ..........

Dear Pip,
Let me start with a apology for not updating you from my side since I left Chelmsford YMCA. You might remember me hinting of our possible relocation to Australia when we met here in Chelmsford last time.

Now picture is clear and we are leaving UK and it is next week, to be specific on Adrian's first birthday on 31st October 2006 or just two days after my fifth anniversary in England!

There are many reasons that influenced this big move, NHS job cuts and especially overseas nurses and changes in Work Permit/Permanent Residency laws being a major one. Now we will have to start all over again, a big challenge and we are ready for it.

England have been our home for half a decade, I have met many important people, great exposures, unique experiences and lot more. Working alongside you at Romford YMCA and then later working with you especially for Praha, fiddling with your Mac, BBQ etc being the most sweet ones. I have identified my taste, talent and weakness in the process and is the biggest achievement of my time in England. It was during 2001 while Volunteering at Romford YMCA that I brought my first but second hand Camera and now I just checked my my pictures folder....37208 pictures, that is more than 20 pictures per day of my stay in UK!! I will miss England and my great friends. The only diappointment I take away with me will be the YMCA GWC Youth Work Course....

I hope we could meet (atleast very briefly) if possible before we fly off.
Vinod did mention to me that you are planning to go away to Finland this week.... let me know if there is a chance.

I know a thanks is not enough to thank you for what you have done for us.... hope to hear from you



Monday, October 23, 2006

The Sheilas

...... the one on the left is flying back from S Africa as we click ....... the one on the right has got a TV programme on on Wednesday - see Ch4 - at 8.30.

It is called::
'Your money or your wife' - a new series which she directed with some considerable sweat and stress.
The Guardian comment says::
"a strangely compelling financial self-improvement show"

The one in the middle had two eyes at that time!
I cannot guess when this was but I know it was not at the Wilson Mansions - it was at a Conference (sort 0f) Centre in Cambridge.
We were living in Canning Town - East London at the time ........ and we were on a Team and Family w/e.

Feelings - me::
It is always on my agenda to be sensitive to my own feelings and I believe that helps me to be sensitive to others.
I intend to write::
'101 Steps Towards Managing My Emotions'
..... it will be about the most vital issues on the road to wholeness.
I have about 15 so far which will click here when I have a moment to do that.

I am leading a 'Road Less Travelled' Course tomorrow.
It is the most important course I can ever run because it is about the very issues of growth and development - emotions and spirituality - realationsships and interactions - breathing in life and breathing it out .............

I have five words to describe my life at the moment - I don't know what they are yet but my brain will tell my fingers to click in less than one minute from now::
er ................................

........ and I would love to know yours ...........
...... and I would love you to know yours and you will find them out if you tell me ....

......... you are special and wondrous
not because of your behaviour
to love
.....YOU are loved ...................


A Request to Pray::

For Luke Donnelly,
was badly beaten up on Saturday evening.
He is in a coma in the Queens Medical Centre in Nottingham.
They have tried twice to revive him both times being unsuccessful.

Please pray for Luke and his Grandma with whom he lives.

Malcolm Barham
Lincolnshire YMCA

Sunday, October 22, 2006

"In this life we are like stubborn horses put into harnesses and shafts.
At first, we kick.
We want to live according to our will.
We break the shafts, snap the harness, do not go anywhere, and become exhausted.
Finally when we are at the end and we are not thinking about getting our own way anymore, we give in to the Higher Will, and things move forward.

This is when we find peace and happiness."

Leo Tolstoy


I am the opposite to boring
I am the opposite to depressing
I am the opposite to ugly
I am the opposite to stupid
I am the opposite to successful
I am the opposite to smart
I am the opposite to intelligent
I am the opposite to rich
I am the opposite to comfortable
I am the opposite to frozen
I am the opposite to perfect
I am the opposite to complete
I am the opposite to settled
I am the opposite to content
I am the opposite to being
I am the opposite to hard
I am the opposite to silent
I am the opposite to paused
I am the opposite to country
I am the opposite to still
I am the opposite to death
I am the opposite to
I am the opposite to
I am the opposite to
I am the opposite to
I am the opposite to
I am beautiful
I have left some blanks for you to complete?

You are beautiful

© www.pipwilson.com

Saturday, October 21, 2006

One Eyed Monster here ......

D black eye is fading but still really black in parts.
That is only a visible thing and not as important as the more raw stuff.
Infection risk is the thing and trying to shower whilst still keeping it all dry - that's a challenge!.

All is doing well as far as I can tell.

Have been living the LOWLIFE !
Keeping my head down and not really been out for a week.
Great to get some warm texts and emails - loveitloveitthanx

Music has been to the fore in my life.
Exciting .............

Just discovered a new artiste and ordered a new CD from play.com. I still like to order CD's although I sometimes get the iTunes downloads.
Really excited about a mixer/producer called 'Trentemoller' - his first name is 'Anders'. With a name like that you can guess he is Scandinavian.
You can catch a 'listen again' programme of his right now on::
This is the programme which turned me on to him.
Wondrous vibes of a gentle groove nature.

2 What is also exciting is the music emanating out of my blog.
I love the stuff I post here (with big-up-thanx to Big John)

3 Last but important.
Stocki has broadcast a radio programme for ten years on Radio Ulster and plays stuff from the contemporary music field as well as good music from every field. Stocki is Greenbelt to the core - one of the great and big characters ................. I will miss his weekly hour of music which I download to my iTunes/iPod and re-listen several times in the following week.
This Sunday he is doing his last one - so catch it here if you can.
It will be on Listen again for at least a week by clicking here::

Monday is starting back to work so news will be less personal and less domestic .........
Then on Thursday I fly Finland and I am told it is 4 degrees - maybe snow by the time I get there.
I am really looking forward to meeting some great humans again ........

Stay forever beautiful

you may sometimes feel like a one eyed monster
the truth is

.. you are beautiful ..........


Friday, October 20, 2006

Black Eyed Pip

...... have been a bit fed up today.
Want to get back to normal and my expectations are out-of-the-frame.

I expected that I would have
day zero + one and I would be kicking darkness until it bleeds daylight BUT!

But this is + 3 and still not kicking.
I must do something, with one eye, so will try to kick my inbox and get back to the most urgent human transactions.

I am aware I have gigs next week and also I fly to Finland on Thursday. (Was pleased to be able to email Tuula and Anna over there and fix them up with some free tickets, on the Helsinki venue door, for the Underworld gig tomorrow night - pity it wasn't a week later for my enjoyment.)

The Sheilas are busy.
Joy flew to S Africa on Wednesday doing her usual fashion styling in that warm climate. She is there for a week I think. Then, after two days at home, she is off working in Thailand for two weeks.
Ann has finished he TV Directing with a new programme yet to be screened. I will tell you when it is about to hit the UK TV screens. It is about humans and financial issues. She is pleased because her work is the one chosen to launch the series. She has just started work on a new concept of 'Y*u a*e wh*t y*u e*t'.
(Photo is Ann Sheila filming in New York.)
I love my Sheilas ...........

I made lots of feelings notes before and after the operation this week. Trying to be in touch with my feelings and learn from it. Not just gripped with fear but acknowledging the scary bits and the other feelings when I felt relaxed and trusting of the professional care I was receiving.

Five words to describe my life at the moment::
Low Key

........ and you? .............

.........you are beautiful .............


Thursday, October 19, 2006


..... just back from the hospital for a check by the eye surgeon and he said it looks good and clean. I am on a shed load of antibiotics and creams and drops and whatever. I guess the main thing is avoiding infection as all the work has been done inside.
So I have perched my glasses on the edge of my nose and feel more normal to be able to see with one eye.
Two weeks to the next MOT.
The strange thing - the ten minutes walk to the station for a one stop train trip - I felt weak!
Strange feelings.
So ..... have downloaded the DJ Gilles Peterson show to my iPod and will spend the next two hours with him and maybe read the paper.

I feel a bit strange clicking about myself. I do all the time I know - but usually it is BUT in interactions with other beautiful humans .....

bBeautiful today
you are beautiful

*thank you Ian

...... I haven't had my glasses on for two days now, and another tomorrow, until the eye surgeon takes my dressings off ........ so I am doing little work and all blind .....

...... so I did a search of my computer under the word 'surgery' and came up with the item below which I offer you from the reality it was .... and remains every day amongst us ....... if we can see ........

"Soul Undressing .... a reflection ...

He looks as hard as nails – hammer and nails.
To approach him is an effort.
The pale complexion; the square jaw, broad shoulders, heavy build, skinhead, the split lip.

The initial contact is quite a number of “hellos” and warm expressions, then deliberately, picking upon a personal interest. Taking an interest in the damaged lip and the cracked tooth helped.

Then we sat around one afternoon in a corner of the YMCA Coffe Bar with a core group of four- with others moving in and out as their personal security dictated.

First of all it was everybody talking at once.

Then it was questions from me, “in your face” style.
It became open heart surgery.
“Who has been the most significantly positive person in your life?
The question was answered well.
They all undressed their soul with that one.

There was a massive amount of non-listening – all talking over each other.
I resisted the desire to try to control the flow, I let it ride.
When a pause came I asked the next question and encouraged them to answer one at a time around the table.
“What colour are you – not skin colour, the colour that describes your personality?” I asked.

They dived into that one as around us the people buzz continued.
There must have been eight people who answered that one as fringe members contributed. Eyes became unseeing as each searched their depths and scraped for descriptive words.
“Split lip” was honest – talking in two colours – red outside but inside - a sort of “pale wood chip wallpaper” colour.
His vulnerability was showing – but the group had already developed a sense of trust through self-disclosure.

The big question came when they paused and looked at me with expectancy.
I asked another ...............
“When did you become an adult?”

The music filled all corners of the Coffee Bar.
It became still as we all willingly searched life’s experiences.
Then it came with such feeling it made my face tighten and eyes glaze with emotion.

Three out of four had been “in care” and “becoming an adult” had happened when that happened.
One other had experienced rape.
All had become adults at a very early age.

“Split lip” was soon standing alone in the center of the room,
unaware of his non-verbal communication – lost in thought.
The atmosphere was electric.
There was a sense of deep satisfaction as each of us realized we had experienced intimacy.

The group sat around, drank coffee and reflected
– not only on the self disclosures but on the experience of it."

“We become fully conscious only of what we are able
to express to someone else.
We may already have had a certain inner intuition about it,
but it must remain vague so long as it is unformulated,”

From the meaning of persons,
by Paul Tournier.