Friday, September 30, 2005

M. Scott Peck

When We Share Woundedness

"How strange that we should ordinarily feel compelled to hide our wounds when we are all wounded!
Community requires the ability to expose our wounds and weaknesses to our fellow creatures.
It also requires the ability to be affected by the wounds of others...

But even more important is the love that arises among us when we share,
both ways,
our woundedness."

M. Scott Peck,
"A Different Drum."
He died on Sunday, September 25, 2005.
He was 69.
His books have been giant in my life.


Good Morning ............... I am here early and don't want to be ........ I awake with a dream and then the mind churns ........... not bad things just many things ...... not hopes and fears ......... just doing things and when I get out of bed they are not done ........... so I look at beautiful things around me ............. pictures .............. humans - my photoes are of humans and Zig our beautiful non-human cat ........... and then I see beauty in art ........... it drags me in and I know I don't understand it .......... but I want to drink at that well ........ and at the same time I feel big and engaged with some special humans who are my Rugby League Team and are playing tonight and I am restless for them and us and me ...... "come on the Saints ........."

...... so that is a bit of me this morning - too early.
Hope you are ok?
Hope your restlessness is the sort which turns you to the positive - the yearning and not the destructive ........... bBeautiful today ................. in your beautiful imperfection .....

"Cynthia wanted some peace.
She boarded up her windows.
Lined her walls with egg cartons.
She blocked the chimney and ripped the phone off the wall.
It didn't work.
The bass from her neighbour's stereo came through the foundations.
A helicopter chopped her quiet into coleslaw.
Cynthia upped the ante.
She inserted ear plugs and covered them with ear muffs
Then she climbed into her bed and put a pillow over her head.
Only then did she become aware of the noise coming from the inside."


Thursday, September 29, 2005


"My own garden is my own garden," said the Giant; "any one can understand that, and I will allow nobody to play in it but myself."

Reflections on the so called selfish GIANT ....

  • The Giant is SELFISH ......... does that mean we are so very different?

  • Hang a label on him and he is that forever. Read the UK based Daily Mail and the same thing happens ...... labellabellabel.
  • "So he built a high wall all round it" ....... what walls do we build? Do we build them to wall ourselves in or others out? Are these walls our home - do we have a walled home - is the sign saying 'keep out'? What are the emotional walls we build? The relational walls? What the results of building walls around us? No walls = vulnerability. Is this good or bad. Are the feelings of vulnerability good for us - or bad? Good for others - or bad?

  • "And the Giant's heart melted as he looked out. "How selfish I have been!" he said; "now I know why the Spring would not come here". ...... Ghandi was asked about the worst experience in his life - a life which included journeying through all sorts of pain on behalf of others ............. he said that the worst thing is;_ "the hard heartedness of the educated" .......... do you give permission to your heart 'to melt'? ............. ...... What would our own 'self analysis' be? ............. Are you keeping spring out?
  • Read the full story and melt .............
  • Read the full story and reflect ........
  • Read the full story and weep ......
  • Read the full story and knock down walls ........

READ the full story HERE



....... movement is energy and thought provoking ........ even when I am using the BLOB TREE - or other blob tools out of THE BIG BOOK OF BLOBS - I try to get humans moving about as much as possible.

I have many BLOB TOOLS on power point and when the BLOB TREE, for example, is projected on to a wall .......... it is good to get humans to stick a 'post it' on the projected blob image to demonstrate how they are 'feeling' or the one blob person talking about. The ppt projects over the sticky bits so we don't ever lose the BLOB TREE image ......and ........ the motion changes emotion.

It also, the activity of walking and talking, creates a more concrete experience for the individual beautiful human BUT ALSO a special dynamic in the room because the motion creates a more demanding listening climate - a fertile ground for human growth and development.

So .................
  • Motion changes emotion
  • post-it sticking is an activity of decision making, motion and emotion
  • walking and talking is more dynamic than sitting and talking
  • walking and talking is a fertile ground for listening
  • more concrete the activity undertaken - more powerful the experiential exercise

I ...... (insert your name here to make it concrete) ...... am a beautiful human person.



..... here and working at home today trying to catch up on d inbox - book flights - send out 'THE BIG BOOK OF BLOBS' to humans who email me and say they have heard of this beautiful act of creativity ....... a massive toolbox which will last forever ....... getting carried away here :-)

.... and other things like prepping for tomorrows gig .............. and still humming from yesterdays day which I went into with some tension and deep breathing .............. pause with me here:-

Breath deep and slow
In and out
right now
Do that with out reading further
at least 10 deep breaths .....

Just done it myself
Continue as you read
Notice that your inner nostrils are cooler as you breath in
notice how they are warmer as you exhale ........ try it again ....

Oxygen feeding the lungs
The blood
The heart of a beautiful human .....
Life .....
The soul ................. the centre .....

Exhale the waste ............ used ..... warm waste ...

Breath on me breath of God
Fill me with life new - brand new

Was that good - try it when you feel tense or unrelaxed.
Feed the soul
Life .................

As I click these words I am listening to some fine grooves from a DJ called Benji B .... no lyrics just a fab groove .......................... this groove he is playing is "Lindstrom | Temperet | (Feedelity)" ...... they are from Oslo in Norway - my second spiritual home ......
WONDROUS .......

be a Giant


Wednesday, September 28, 2005


.... ADBUSTERS ......

.. have some fab spoof ads for the viewing ....

Hello beautiful human ..... I am too tired to blog tonight ...... have given my all today in training ..... I have been conducting a course for a catering team with all the normal catering functions but also deal with other special humans who display behaviour of a difficult kind.

Living with violence and aggression - I have lived there all my life and I HATE IT.

But I feel good tonight because - several reasons really - because I feel we have journeyed together along a wholeness road ........... I love triggering exercises and discussions ...... the blob tree of course, and other blob tools, and see - hear humans voicing their own discovery ...... reaching their own decisions of how to love people - accept - value - affirm - love the unlovely .........

I used the 'selfish giant' dvd (thanx Big John) and on the second day there was so much support for the giant in that these humans clocked the selfish AND LOUD behaviour which was pretty bad in a fairy story way, but realized that he was a beautiful human giant trying to get out .............. and he did ...... when he clocked that, even he, could be loved and valued ..........

I am too tired to blog!

Off to zedzzzzzzz


Tuesday, September 27, 2005



"My own garden is my own garden,"
said the Giant;
"any one can understand that, and I will allow nobody to play in it but myself."

So he built a high wall all round it, and put up a notice-board.


He was a very selfish Giant."


............................... feel the vulnerability ............... today ....

Monday, September 26, 2005

.... have a bit of fun ... ...

.... at all times .....


.... beautiful humans I met today and ........ out came the battered Pentax and ...... click ......... I am living my life like it's GOLDEN .......

.... all because I know you are there reading this .......

I love it love it .......

.... first day back from holiday and a 12 hour day and loved it ................ it was training.

During the past few months I have led training for teams such as;
Homeless workers, housing support workers, city corporate, catering, youth workers, volunteers, senior managers and ....... I am certain I have forgot some. The main thing which is identified before the course is the need to build a stronger team ....... love the challenge!

A Team at it's best is a community .......

"Community is the place of belonging .... of acceptance......of caring.
It is a place of growth in love....... Community leads to openness and acceptance of others.
Without community people's hearts close up......"
Jean Vanier
from 'Community and Growth' (DLT 1989)

In training I find that we need to enter the stages of all participants feeling a sense of security - climate of trust you may say. Once that is established there can be steps taken by the team which maybe deemed as risks but worth it because it is about their own development.
Growth is not possible without risk.
Development does not reside in comfort zones.

It is most wonderful to help to create a safe climate where humans can themselves think and voice the deeper things .................. a real place of self discovery ........... no 'shoulds' and 'aughts' .... and I love it .....

"Community is a safe place precisely because no one is attempting to heal or convert you, to fix you, to change you. Instead, the members accept you as you are. You are free to be you. And being so free, you are free to discard defences, masks, disguises: free to seek your own psychological and spiritual health."
M. Scott Peck

...... hope you are ok ?


Sunday, September 25, 2005

BLOB TREE ........... and me are back from a week away and back in action swift and early Monday morning and thinking of you and wondering how your Monday is in your soul and behaviour and your loving and ......

Will you be the person you chose to be are will you be a 'reactor'?
Dependent on others to manage your glass .............. half full or ......... half empty .... ?

Because we are the future and others impact on us but not our will to be
a maker
a taker
a breaker
a maker of the new -which our job- is to make on earth -as it is in heaven .......

.................... imagine the future .......

People will not be driven by the automobile,
nor will they be programmed by computers,
nor will they be bought by supermarkets,
nor will they be watched by television sets…

Nobody will die of hunger,
because nobody will have indigestion.
Street children will not be treated as if they were trash,
because there will be no street children.
Rich kids will not be treated as if they were money,
because there will be no rich kids…

Eduardo Galeano

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Images of me ... ... ...

My books were on sale at the Greenbelt Festival and now I find there are images of me being sold in shops all over Greece!!

Me and Joan talk a lot at home and abroad. Level Five is always the best and beautiful.
If you don't know about level five/L5 - try the search box at the top of this page.

Lat night I asked Joan a series of questions as they came to me - they started in the Taverna and continued in the Bar ......... here they are ... ... I just listened .. .. ..

Why do you like Corfu?
Why do you read fiction?
Why do you watch TV Football?
Why do you love me?
Describe your love for your Mother?
Describe your love for the Sheilas?
(for new bhp Bloggers - these Sheilas are our two daughters)
At this point Joan wept.
Describe your love for God?
Which was the most difficult question?
............ her answer to that one ..... "The one about my Mother" - she said

It was such a great evening .............

back home tomorrow ............

you are beautiful ...............


At Home here .. .. ..

have had this new home for a week .. .... .... and on the wall is this fab picture ...... and it changes ......

..... and by night ...... same picture .....

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Many images on view .........

I went on holiday for a week ....... it only rained twice !
Once for three days and once for four days..

Just a bad joke ...... in fact it has not rained for two days and I am relaxing and enjoying doing zilch


Wednesday, September 21, 2005

thoughts ......

... six hours rain or more and we had to go and dine before ten - even though some of the Greeks seem to start dining at midnight.

On a table outside earshot, but within eyeshot, there was an older man was with two of his daughters it seemed to me. His face was contorted as he spoke. His right hand moved from being an axe chopping, to a fist thumping and a pointed finger jutting from a clenched fist with anger - so it seemed. He resumed speaking each time one of them began to speak.

One 'daughter' sat to his right - her body angle leaning away from him by 20 degrees. No eye contact with him. Head almost bowed. Her face without expression, still, glum, pale.
His other daughter sat on the opposite side of the table - not opposite him. Her face, from what I could see, was like her sisters.

It was not a happy moving picture.

"Reading and understanding body language isn’t just an interesting subject – in a hostile environment it can be dangerous not to.
It is an important part of letting Jesus live through us.
Not doing it can also be insensitive, non-developmental and not of the Kingdom.

So often Christian students all huddle together, laughing and chatting in the college canteen and do not even see the isolated student sitting alone at the next table.
That is non-shalom.
‘Blessed are the Shalom-makers’."

Pip Wilson from 'Gutter Feelings' ...... about 20 years ago..

Why do men so often take the 'fight' option when faced with the two options of fight or flight?
Why do so many humans only see those two options - attack or run away. Why not consider other options when we have a situation confronting us.

Listening and asking questions - and listening.
Like sharing 'how I am feeling'.
Like opening up with authentic vulnerability to set a model of a different level of communication
Like verbally valuing the confronting person in the behaviour which is demonstrating beautiful imperfection.

"I want to share my vulnerability because than I don't have to pretend anymore" said Tori Amos the singer. .......... and I love it love it.

So many humans who have attended my 'Road Less Travelled' courses over the last thirteen years, have been experiencing difficult relationships with parents. They were often middle-aged themselves and wanted to relate well to parents - but there often was a painful relationship and difficult communication.

"If the only tool we possess is a hammer - we see all the problems as a nail"

I love that quote - I love it because it challenges me to always wanting to be and become a human who is extending the repertoire of skills (tools) and they are only extended when we place ourselves in a stretch situation - filling up the toolbox does not reside in the comfort zones.

There is so much beauty in relationships - I love the activity - the hobby - the fun - the game - the pleasure .................. there is also so much pain and so many humans are clamped and stamped on by life because of relationships which are like marbles in a jar rather than relationships like a honeycomb - see previous clicks about this .........

If we have pain in a relationship ..... why not put the 'fight or flight' on the back burner and look in-between?
A middle way where it means opening up our own fragile parcel of feelings and taking the risky - learning - insecure - uncomfortable - adventurous way ............
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I...
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost

liveinwonder - bhp


Tuesday, September 20, 2005

76 Steps

...... from the little alley .....

...... the little alley is to small for a vehicle but up we go to the three - four floors from the front door. It is above an antique shop in the old town - Corfu.

76 Steps .....

Still in a state of mind which demands I breath deep and ....... two thing 1 I am really here ..... 2 How do I relax?

I have been listening to Mp3s on my iPod ....... as well as music .......... Pete Tong Gilles and Benji B I also have been listening to Greenbelt seminars;
Stocki - doing a seminar called "All because of you I am"

.... now in the Internet Cafe I have the Zane Lowe Radio show which features Paul McCartney in session amongst a whole range of stuff.

Thinking of you ...... reading d blogs .......... maybe if I didn't think about you I would relax more ........ well - who wants to relax?

More tomorrow unless I am so chilled and cannot be bothered ................... I like that word 'bothered'.

I am planning to bother God a bit more .............. must turn it into clicks here ............


Monday, September 19, 2005

Corfu Calling

..... for the geographically challenged Corfu is a Greek Island not far from Albania - a place many of my friends came from as Albanian speakers fleeing from the horrors of Kosava some short few years ago. 'Youyanni perrson ebuko' is 'you are a beautiful human person' in Albanian.

Just on a short break and a beautiful place it is too. We are in Corfu Town = the pictures show the view from our balcony and another view up from the edge of the sea.
Missed a nights sleep getting here so just about recovered and getting into relaxing. That as mainly been staring into space - a nice space to stare ...... but I am not much use to anyone like this so I must kick ........... I don't relax well on holiday. A good Rugby League game is the best. Holiday uncoiling is something I need to work on .............

you are beautiful today ........


Saturday, September 17, 2005

You are .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

you are a beautiful human person

no-one has ever existed like you
no-one will ever exist like you
your life experience will never be repeated
you are unrepeatable
you are a beautiful human person

you are as unique as your finger print
that finger tip is the tip of a beautiful human person

you are an undiscovered treasure
your life deserves to be made into a book
your uniqueness made into a movie
you are a gift to life
a beautiful human person

every inhaling of breath is a drawing in of beautifulness
every exhaling is a contribution to life
every heart beat a groove for the soul
every eye contact is a view into your soul
unique and beautiful human person

you are valuable in extreme
you are loved 100%
you are loved unconditionally
you are 100% loved
eternally a beautiful human person

If you became whole today
If you became perfect today -
God could not love you more tomorrow
or ever
because you are loved
because you are you
a beautiful human person

you are
beautiful imperfection
you are acceptable to a level of tears
ok and loved to a level of total giving
beautiful in your imperfection
beautiful in your beautiful

all of you - every part which makes you
a beautiful human person

pip wilson
17th September 2005


@ greenbelt I hosted the iPod Show and now there is a full listing of the track the superstars played .....


.. .. you are beautiful .. .. .. .. ..

Morning Music .... ..... ...

Originally uploaded by Pip Wilson.

I have discovered
Duke Special
just bought the album and I will be taking him, the band/artiste, on holiday with me.

Also away for a week ...........
Fat Freddy's Drop
my favourite album at the moment and it is interesting to see them sell out two concerts in London this week.

I am into grooves at the moment and I just love, and have done for three months, a track called "Mulholland"
Search and buy it off the iTunes - won't tell you who it is by - might spoil it for you - fab groove - about 8 minutes long.

Reminds me that Alex from 'Jazzanova' - one of 'I am mad on' artistes, has a fab and long and fresh mix in the middle of Gilles Peterson Radio One show this week. Listened to it about 5 times already this week. It will be on 'listen again' until Sunday at 11pm - get the sparks flying.
Jazzanova - out of Berlin - do some great stuff and we have something new soon.

A star of the future
Eska ................ first album out soon. First saw her at the 'world wide winners' gig in December last year, wondrous voice

Also loving it, and a star of the future, is 'Stay With Me' a song with a vocalist with a voice that grips. Tiombe Lockhart is her name. Only ever heard her with 'The Platinum Pied Pipers' a band out of the states which I lurve. Hear their album 'Triple P'
It is hip hop with grooves. You may not like - I never recommend - but it swings my soul.

Also on my 1 gig iPod, for quick change music and lightness when commuting, is
Journey Prelude by Rivertribe a Australian band who I met at Greenbelt. I saw them live and the did a full on energetic dance set - and great blokes with, a sort of, 4 xxxx burned into their souls.

Other items on the said iPod
'Taking Friendship to a New Level' - a seminar featuring Pip Wilson BHP and the Level Fivers - a Greenbelt Mp3 which you can buy on line
The Battle For God another seminar by Karen Armstrong who is an expert in fundamentalism.
Ray Ray', what a groove, by Fat Freddy's Drop - album is 'Based On A True Story'.

And these radio programmes on the multi mentioned iPod hmmmmm :-
BBC BenJi B 1Xtra Midnight Thursdays - maybe my favourite listening at the moment.

BBC STOCKI Radio Ulster 7 pm Sundays. This man, Steve Stockman, is like a stick of rock with the word 'Greenbelt' running all the way through him - and many other beautiful words too!

BBC R1 11pm Sundays - Gilles Peterson - see my rant about him on my home page.
And another bbc gilles programme - mentioned above, with the Alex Jazzanova Mix.

BBC PETE TONG - THREE HOURS OF HOUSE MUSIC TO PUMP ME UP and drown the noise of the London Underground.

BBC DNA - Destination Africa, sounds from all over the world with an African influence.

All this because I woke at 5 am again - whats this all about ..............?


Friday, September 16, 2005

My web-site.

I have had two beautiful volunteers in the lifetime of pip wilson dot com.
They have done great things in terms of creativity - I am useless with these things.

I am looking for a volunteer to take over the current site.
Anywhere in the world!
I need you to be able to insert a few photographs every month + inserting an article or two (Pearls of Wilson), update my music page - usually once a year, links page and ........ my new books on the right page when they come out. All of it is not or ever urgent because my daily update is on my blog which I do daily.

If you want to know how it is done - don't ask me! ...... but I will put you in contact with someone who will be a briefing helping hand.

If you want to chat about it - email me and we can either exchange a few comments or on the telephone.

I am really really in need .............



A man ran through a crowded train looking very agitated, calling out, "Is there a Catholic priest on board?"

When he got no reply, he ran back up the train shouting, "Is there an Anglican priest on board?" Still no reply.

By now becoming more desparate, he ran down the train shouting, "Is there a Rabbi on board?"

Eventually, a gentleman stood up and said, "Can I be of any assistance, my friend? I'm a Methodist minister."

The man looked at him and said, "No, you're no bloody good. I need a corkscrew!"



..... yes you ....


...... one of my Greenbelt moments in 2005 .............

The New Piccadilly Restaurant

.. my favourite place on earth .....

Being at the New Piccadilly .. .. .. ..

.. .. with Tomek ........ a fine activity.. ....

Youth Work Training

Joy and Zig

Light ...........

Do we move towards the light or run .........

Cockroaches have been used in research. It is found in this strange research project, I always remember reading this, that they always run away from a light source FASTER when there is an audience of cockroaches!

My mind slips to the recent cricket wins by the English team - with a fantastic audience both live and on TV. Olympics and Football also come to mind. Home games are special and the home side often win. The big events seem to cultivate the breaking of world records! Lots of spectators!

I work with teams and groups. They are fantastic motivators for change - if they run towards the light! I would like to click a bit about this because most of us have been born and brought up in a family - our first group indeed.

Our family, if we had one as a child, is a big shaping influence on how we as a human develops. The shaping includes feelings, attitudes, behaviours and our early experiences of a climate of trust and a sense of belonging. Family can also be a place of conflict. I remember my three older brothers fighting and I jumped from the kitchen table to be in there with the action. The shaping is in action too. In the conflict - all in a developmental climate.

Groups are only groups if they have some common purpose. A queue waiting for a bus is not a group, but if there is a car accident, for example, just in front of that line of humans - they will start to become a group because they start helping and working together. Different roles emerge. Wondrous. I have sometimes designed a role play using that scenario - wow - such emotions......
A group works better and delivers more because there is an audience - and many more reasons of course .........

Teams are groups who work more than once together - maybe long term. I love group work and team work. As groups have humans active with some interaction, so have teams but with a greater dynamic. Our family has been a situation of social comparison, me and my brothers!, and so are teams. We are aware all the time about how the 'other' operates and as quick as a computer - make comparisons with the sort of person/worker/communicator we are. That is how we learn.
There is a cost to being part of a team, many. Conflicts abound and that is good. So we all share, and exchange in a team, the 'costs' and also the 'goods'. The goods would include material goods, psychological goods and spiritual goods. Each team member, in a good team, can have the first hand experience of moving from a breaker to a taker to a maker.
I remember leading a team in a large charity and including in our senior team a number of young trainees who took their turn at being the chairman of the team meeting for two hours. The learning in all that was wondrous - for the young teenagers too. A number of them have said to me, in later years, how they use the very same techniques which they had learned and tried and tested on us!

Teams - what a pain they can be - and what a joy. I could go on forever.
If you want to hire me to lead some team training - I will come and run a session for you!

Teams work harder, deliver more, work faster - especially if they run towards the light!

The CONTRA = Isolation.
Isolation is used in prison as a punishment just because we are social animals and we need each other. Experiments with animals and humans reveal what we all know, that we shrivel up and become less of a human person when we spend too much time alone.

hear this;

"My own garden is my own garden," said the Giant; "any one can understand that, and I will allow nobody to play in it but myself."

So he built a high wall all round it, and put up a notice-board.


He was a very selfish Giant.

That is a wee out-take from the story of the Selfish Giant - read the full story here;

"Don't build walls
until you know what you are walling out
- and what you are walling in"

"work like you don't need the money
dance like no-one is watching
sing like no-one is listening
love like you have never been hurt"

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Stan and Eddie dropped in one day.......... I am reflecting on a vivid memory - and learning from it ........ and sharing it with you .............

I had last seen Stan when he first came out of prison; our relationship has developed via many letters. I don’t think I’d seen Eddie for about five years. Both were twenty-seven years old now. So we sat on the juke-box, drinking coffee and just reflecting. But then, in the midst of talking about how drug use was an accepted part of life in the East End of London, Eddie said, ‘We’ve done everything now – booze, thieving, drugs, girls – there’s nothing else to do.’
‘What about God?’ I asked, ‘or does God not fit the East End image?’

This provoked a conversation about the Government and the ‘Old Bill’: ‘There’s a lot of poverty around here now, Pip. Once the pubs were crowded – now they’re half empty and even our mates ponce (beg) drinks all night … there’s going to be riots … people are going to join with the blacks and there’ll be riots.’

What they were saying was fascinating in itself, but what struck me with such force was that they were talking about God in the same breath as the Government and the police. So, with controlled enthusiasm, I talked with them of the ‘underside Jesus’ who, when physically on earth, spent his time with the leper, the prostitute, the thief, the stigmatised. He did not act as one in authority and with status.

Stan and Eddie were writing off God as they do a distant oppressive authority! We have got to come down, as groups of people, and not stay ‘topside’ in positions of safety, comfort and status. ‘Get lost’ theology is risky, a ‘Get out’ theology isn’t for me, you could say. The Church Missionary Society used the following on their adverts: ‘Has God called you to stay where you are?’ Unless someone moves - Ethiopia stays as it is and the inner city stays as it is. I am aware that there is more to this argument, but you can see the point: ‘If you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem.’

Some inner-city Christians say to humans who wish to come into tough areas ‘keep out – you do more damage than good!’ That is true – unless the ‘underside’ way is taken and people come in to learn, not to give.

Bishop Roger Sainsbury presented a paper at a Greenbelt Festival some years ago, describing the cultural attitudes and norms that need to be abandoned by the middle-class people coming into the inner city. The differences he outlined were:

Middle Class .......................Working Class
Individuality .......................Group loyalty
Judgmental .........................Accepting/kind
Privacy ................................Openness
Stiff upper lip ..................... Vulnerability
Facts ....................................Feelings
Meetings.............................. Meeting

Joy, a voluntary team member, speaks of herself and others as coming as middle class, ‘from outside the area … from a culture that is “dominant” … from those sections of society which have power and control’. Once when starting a Christian discipleship group Joy admits that it was Joyce, a local Christian woman with her own children and grandchildren, ‘that caused the group to happen. The fact she was local and respected … without her it would have disintegrated. She was the girls’ point of reference. I represented Christianity to them, who they didn’t really know, understand or even like …’

I believe that Jesus spent thirty years learning from the people. Like a sponge He soaked in the culture – everything that was meaningful. As a child He ‘grew and developed in body, mind and spirit’, the Bible says, ‘ in favour with God and man’ (Luke 1:80; 2:52 Living Bible).

Why are there so few humans who decide to live in a community which is needy?
Why do so many stretch their budget to buy property in a better area than the one they are in?
Why do so many humans spend all their time with people of the same social standing?

I have just received a DVD Film of a story I have been trying to find for years. It is the cartoon version of 'The Selfish Giant'.
He was famous for building a wall to keep others out ............ and keeping himself IN !

I weep ................


To tired to blog but ....

..... I will click one of those blogs tonight which starts with a blank screen and nothing else ............. it has been a busy week and it is only Wednesday night ....... but the w/ends seem to slide into the next week ......

In my work I work with groups or teams ......... or groups that want to be teams. I have had some wondrous opportunities to work with humans like this. I love it because once I get them interacting a dynamic develops which leaves me buzzing.

In preparation I usually feel an unease inside as I approach the event. I don't know what to do ....
First I need at least a one line objective from the person who has asked me to do the facilitation/training.
Second; I remain uneasy until I sketch out all the 'contextual' thoughts. Everything I know about the room, the seating, and the vibe. Also some estimations about the attitude and the feelings of those who will be present. Also age, gender and their likely response - nervous/excited/loud/quiet/outwardly bold but hiding inferiority ............. and more ..... all beautiful human persons ........ all beautiful imperfection ........... just like me ........
Thirdly my expansion on the objectives I have been given. Usually the word 'experiential' is on the list. Also fun, pleasure, satisfaction, stretch, trust, passion ........
Fourth I look at options to deliver the process and the objectives. I always design options for the start and end. So a list of options surface for the start, middle and end.
Lastly I make my notes on A5 paper which fold and slip into my jeans back pocket or my shirt breast pocket. The options cultivate flexibility and response-ability. Responding always to the humans present - the dynamic - the needs .......... I see their faces their emotions .......
I also have available a wide range of resources on my laptop, loads of blob trees of course, and a burley file of paper handouts.

Then with a wing and a prayer - plus a good vibe from the music ........... off we go ..... and I love it love it ...............

"One goal is to seek the person of high position, the great person, the spiritual person, the clever person, the fine person, the person who because of his or her talents or achievements represents a peak, as it were, in the mountain range of humanity.
The other goal is to seek the minorities, the physically and mentally retarded, the prisoners, and the despised; the degraded, the enslaved, the exploited, the weak, and the poorest of the poor.

The first goal aims to exalt the individual. The other seeks the wonder and mystery of God becoming human by seeking the lowest place.
Two completely opposite directions!
One is the self-glorifying upward thrust.
The other is the downward movement to become human.
One is the way of self-love and self-exaltation.
The other is the way of God’s love and love of one’s neighbor."
Eberhard Arnold


Tuesday, September 13, 2005

I first met you in Romford in 1988

Pip Wilson


Well Zig is in the frame - I am just a blinding light ...... quite like the picture here .......

...... I get this eMail and I love it ....

Hello Pip.
I first met you in Romford in 1988, I think. I was in Ten Sing Norway and we had concerts and workshops at the YMCA. Later that same year you offered one of us to stay at Romford as a volunteer. I was tempted to work at Romford, but at the same time scared. East London was something very different and big. I still remember the tall concert building where Romford YMCA stayed. I chickend? out and took one year as volunteer at Kingston YMCA in Surbiton instead. I have often regretted that decision. I see know that it would have been much more interesting staying at Romford. In some way I feel need to apology.

I have just learned about your blog and the chapter from “Gutter feelings” was some of the first I read. It touched me. It made me remember some of the feelings I had at our very short stay at Romford.

After my stay at Kingston I moved back to Oslo and educated me to be a policeman. I’m married to Kjersti from Voss who also was in Ten Sing Norway. We have 4 kids from 9 to 2. After 7 years in Hammerfest, north of Norway, we moved to Voss. I’m now working as secretary at Voss KFUK-KFUM (YMCA). We do Ten Sing, a kids club, 50+meetings, a kind of kindergarden, scouts + + + +

Bay the way; I saw you and your caps at the U2 concert in Oslo in July. I trayed to get in contact with you, but you disappeared in the crowd.

Pip; you’re a beautiful human person.


Thanx Havard - wondrous encouragement and I need it always ........


Monday, September 12, 2005

Blob Tree

..... the Blobs leave their tree to come come to my support due to me being iMacless.

Gathered on my wee 12 inch Mactop in the place where normally my iMac resides ......... not good news so far from Dr ToMAC ....... stink ....



MY BOOKS HERE .........

...... I still feel uneasy about the item below.
The part chapter of my book, Gutter Feelings, has never been on the web.. It was released long before we had the joy of electronic communication. I am aware that MrGoogle and all the others may pick up some key words and humans out there may not have read the likes of this before.

Why feel like this?
It brings back feelings from that time.
Lots of 'not ok' feelings.
No great feelings of satisfaction
The toughest part of my life
Ten years of exhileration
Ten of terror in my interior
Ten of extreme learning

I always aim to share reality with you.
That is - exterior activities
Also the interior journey - the longest journey

I feel good but I am aware I have a busy week and treading new waters - new challenges
New stretching - trouble is I don't know which parts will be stretched.

Then we go for a week away and that will be beautiful - blogging from Corfu

This Autumn is to be exciting - even with the known
The unknown is even more
Do you fancy joining me on a journey into the unknown?

"We only think about the known, what we know, - the unknown needs to be stepped into before we begin to experience it - think about it - learn from it - grow in it - 'be' in it -' become' in it"
by ....................... me - just came out at the end of my two stubby fingers!


Sunday, September 11, 2005



...... see my item below about this very issue .......

Saturday, September 10, 2005


"This is not a success story.
It is a love story: a modern day Gospel story with roots.
There is a challenge to all of us in the Church to join forces more tangibly by exercising this kind of love with our prayer, our money, ourselves and our power.
Youth Workers need systematic support.
They have to have courage."

David and Grace Sheppard
July 1985.

Gutter Feelings - my summary in two words about a slice of my Youth Work life.


It is the longest blog I have ever clicked to you from The Leaning Towers of Pip Wilson dot com.

It is an out-take from my first book 'Gutter Feelings' ........ it disturbs my comfortable ......

So take a seat and enter in ........... it is about when we travelled first to live in East London and work with Street Gangs there ..............

CHAPTER 3: Axe holes in the door

I remember well leaving St Helens YMCA with tears in our eyes. The YMCA family had taken us warmly into their lives. The granddads in the snooker room right next to our first floor flat loved our little girls, now aged one (Ann) and seven years old (Joy). The 200 pensioners in the lunch club responded generously to my rather loud humour and often repeated one-liner jokes. Now, in January 1975, following the removal van down the M1 in our blue caravanette, we were entering a new life for our family, and new kind of youth work.

I was struck first by the sheer ugliness of the club building. I would describe it now as non-shalom. (Shalom is a Hebrew word meaning peace, but also with implication of wholeness and completeness; I will discuss it again later.) Outside it looked like a square lump of concrete-no windows and steel-lined front doors. I know now why there were hammer and axe hole on the front door of the club. It was non-shalom.

Inside it was painted almost entirely in some horrible green gloss paint that had been donated to Mayflower. It gave me and, I am sure, the member a distinct intuitional feeling. This, coupled with the long Pentonville-type corridors, with solid locked doors on both sides gave me a trapped, oppressive feel. It was totally depressing. What sort of kids can come in here and enjoy it? What does this place do to kids? It was so disheartening and yet it challenged me to change it. (Eventually I had most of it painted matt black and bought a lorry load of green fluorescent tubes and colourful pop music and Christian posters.) It had been built for relief work in the 1930s, and on top of that it was really beaten up. Yet it was big-so big that it had two coffee bars, two gyms and a large outdoor football court, an air rifle range, snooker room and boxing room. There were numerous other activity rooms in various states of disorder including one full of four foot high blocks of Scalextrix car racing track. Another sported a new disco unit and sound system.

One of the few pieces of equipment that was available in the open club was a table-tennis table with a plank of wood nailed across it instead of a net. As two kids played - another walked across ‘the net’.

I make recording of my evenings in the club. I can look back now at my notes from my very first night in the club:

Some friendly contact and interest in my arrival, some busy and interested in football outside, plus snooker, table-tennis. Some silly, bored kids messing about-boys barricaded themselves in the beat-up room and then smashed down the panelled walls to get out. Others jumped over canteen trying to nick sweets and money. Remember a few names. Ro’ a black kid, Maria and Carol (bangaged arm), Jim, Skunkie. . . little kids running. Several groups around – girls standing!
Building far too rambling and terrible to supervise-leaders just policing. Activities severely limited.
Conclusion – No one focal point. No warmth of atmosphere – although some team members have good relationship with kids. Great for positive activity and discipline boundaries.
Decisions – redesign toilets, block main corridor, move all refreshments to coffee bar – ONE FOCAL POINT, develop office. . . .

I notice in my second evenings recordings that ‘Carol’s arm is now unbandaged’ . That sort of detailed observation is important in youth work. The recording of it helps to concrete it in the mind alongside many other personal detail relevant to them. Even now, ten years later, I can remember that Carol, now a local mum with two kids, once had a injured arm. It makes me smile to think of approaching her ten years later and asking if her arm is better! But the point is that the first duty of love is to listen. Listen to your eyes.

There was much love practised at this level of youth work – but what did the kids do in club? For a start, try to imagine holding back up to a hundred kids who want to get in quickly, mostly without paying their 5p. ‘Steaming the door’ meant a lot to most youth workers at Mayflower over the years. First interactions were always hostile, and conflict had to be used as a starting point for relationship. We started the evening with at least three of the biggest male team members manning the door. I still have the ‘reception sheets’ for those early days and the first dozen name who came in were always the biggest and toughest. Now in their late twenties, most of them are professional criminals in or out of prison.

A typical evening might be like this. The oldest and toughest, the eighteen and nineteen-year-olds, took their choice of football pitch. In good weather it would be the outside yard, otherwise they opted for the cage gym, a converted theatre only useful for mad games. The slightly younger toughest opted for the top gym and football there. The youngest males, aged fourteen and fifteen, headed for the beat-up room, which was equipped with ropes and cushions from old settees, and let go their energy and aggression by beating each other up. Youth workers often joined in and it was a great place for making contact (and collecting a bloody nose!). The table-tennis table as , and a large snooker table with slashed cloth satisfied some. Mostly they came, I think, to enjoy and meet with others, get rid of energy and bait the middleclass workers!

Amongst all this - some workers had developed wholesome relationships with some kids. Little groups of kids cam in to do various activities and discovered real love from people who came from very different cultural backgrounds.

My second night in club was my big showdown and I had to be rescued by John Bourne who had been acting leader before I came. Young fifteen-year-old Johnny had handed his knife in and at the end of the club he demanded it back. My reasonable suggestion of handing it back at the door on the way out was met by my first confrontation, and it shook me to the roots. Such power, will, determination, psychological dominance and aggression! In ten years full-time youth work I had never met such psychologically strong kids. There were many more such confrontations to be experienced.

As well as individuals in Club we also has gangs with names. In 1975 ‘The Snipers’ were a gang who dominated club. They were all seventeen to nineteen-year-old boy who were notorious in the community and much wider afield. They were pub and street fighters, football supporter of the violent kind, and Mayflower was their club.

There were many positives about them. They loved good times and had lots of ‘real characters’ among them with genuine humour. There was also a whole range of skills and trades represented. The real hard men, the expert ‘cat burglar’, the quick thief, the quiet handler of stolen goods – the gang could do anything. They were planners and sophisticated. They were also cocky cockneys!

Doug, on of my clleauges, tells of one of his first experiences of taking The Snipers out in the minibus on an ice-skating trip. Approaching the car park and the single arm barrier, Jimmy said, ‘hang on’, jumped out the bus and broke off the barrier like a matchstick.

One member wrote this poem, which will give an idea of the image they hoped to project:

The Snipers Poem

Oh, to be Sniper,
To be feared foar and wied,
To be on the dole for all my life,
To even go inside.

I’d walk around Canning Town,
Right stroppy like you’ll know,
I’d never smile or be kind,
Cos roughness and niceness don’t go.

I’d scare the shit out of everyone,
I’d make them really spit,
I would be the top man,
I really would be it.

We have got no leaders,
What would we do with one,
If anyone tried to rule us,
We’d get him with a gun.

The Snipers are the bravest,
The Snipers are the greatest,
If you mess around,
Then they really put you underground.

I don’t want you to think I am exaggerating or confused due to a ten year time lag. I’ve always recorded on paper the activities, incidents and people and these help me to give and authentic account now. One particular evening, I went home later after club and spoke into a tape recorder. The purpose was to give the Christian Publicity Organisation an idea of our situation at Mayflower, as they were producing material for us. But I started off by telling them of that particular evening’s club. . .

I have just got in from club, and just to put you in the atmosphere tonight, we had all members come in, and a big gang from the club called ‘The Snipers’, and every one of them was armed. Some had hammers, some haad breadknives, and one had a bayonet, one and axe; other had all sorts of ‘tools’ as they call them. They came into club, paid their subs. I was on the door and didn’t see one of them with a tool, and yet when they were inside they were brandishing them, flick-knives and breadknives. . . They stayed for an hour, and then they went down to a local fun fair to ‘fight the blacks’. It isn’t unusual, of course, to have this sort of trouble; we have run trips to football matches and people have got stabbed, and we’ve had fights in the club, and three weeks ago someone faintly resembling a ‘Paki’ got beat up just outside the entrance. And all these are members. Not that I’m bragging about it – because I am ashamed. But it is people who are real, real members, real Canning Town kids-and we work with them.

It is absolutely horrible to work with them, love them,and yet see the sorts of things they do. We work with them all the time, and it makes you so sad.

The last time we were open before tonight was Friday. They were talking about how the night before they had jumped on a little Pakistan boy at the same fun fair. Only little, nothing to fight against really, and yet they jumped up and down on him, on his face, so that blood spurted out.

What we have to offer in club, the game and facilities, cannot compete with the thrill and kicks they get out of the violence with makes us feel repulsed, and yest to them is the really exiting thing in life.

When all the lads went out we decided as leaders to do something that we had never done before - because it was such a dangerous situation . We phoned the ‘Old Bill’ (the police, that is) anonymously, and told them that there was a big gang, armed up to their eye-balls, on their way to the fun fair. The ‘blacks’ did not turn up and the Old Bill actually nicked one of the lads for carrying a breadknife. All the rest of them came back having got rid of their energies in a way, just the tension of doing that sort of thing. They enjoyed it.

One of our other members got stabbed during the evening, in the arm, but we don’t know the whole story.

I am telling you this really so that it will fill you in with what is happening night after night, and facing this tension night after night by going to clubs in my relationship with; others you do not. And if they carry a knife it is very difficult to lovingly discipline them, and still keep a relationship. I hope you will pray with us in this. It is such a burden.

Just tonight I was talking to on of the girls. She and her boyfriend are both regular members, but he was picked up a week ago in an armed robbery (he’s only seventeen), and I was telling her how I had written to Billy and sent him some comic strip booklets. She said she thought they were good. When we sent them to Borstal, everyone reads them, not just one lad.

Late on , when the lads came back form the fairground battles, they were picking up literature.
One, called Shortly (whose probation offices is a Christian) was reading Run Baby, Run and he was very interested; I told him that it was a true story. One of the other lads said he’d seen the film. When we turned the lights off at the end of the club, one of the lads swore and ran to the bar where there were lights so that he could carry on reading – and this is what happens with something that is readable.

The first year and more was full of incidents like the one just described in the club.

From my side there was physical change in club, more direct Christian input from films, visiting speakers, Christian posters, comics etc. These regular inputs were supplemented by irregular special evangelistic efforts. Alongside this was a whole social education of films, discussion and, of course, stretching physical activities. There was lots of interaction between all of us with attendances running up to 100 each night.

The lads were difficult to communicate with, They knew little about Christianity and tended to treat Christians with coolness and suspicion. But one of the most effective ways we found of stimulating and challenging the kids, and communicating the gospel to them, was the ‘ Ten o’clock Newz’. This was something established at the ‘Y’ Club, in St Helens, to provide some Christian thought-provoking stimulus to the kids, and we introduced it to Mayflower.

Ten o’clock Newz was held at 9.50 pm in Senior Club. All machines: pin-ball, video, juke box etc. were turned off and lights dimmed. Kids were encouraged to come in to the Coffee Bar, and most did, rather than continue table tennis and other sports or go home.

The speaker stood in a central raised position and spotlighted, using the microphone to communicate. The message had to have real impact and relevance to the kids’ lives if they were to listen. We told our speakers to keep it very short- unless the kids were obviously gripped.

Response was sometimes shouts and abuse from a minority or sometimes comments from the floor, which could be used to build on the message.

We have had some incredible times at Ten o’clock Newz-and, of course, many disasters. The kids, generally speaking, love it. ‘What’ on News tonight, Pip?’ they would say towards the end of the evening and a good discussion would often result from just that. Sometimes a theme would run for weeks and the kids would continue the debate in every corner of the club. Jesus must be news to our kids. Good News too.

One particularly effective method of helping young people to know where they are in relationship to God is the Football Pitch’.

Hanging on the Mayflower club wall is half a table-tennis table painted white with this diagram drawn on it. The question is: Where are you on the pitch? Where are you in relationship to God?

- are you on the terraces, just a spectator?
- are you in the changing rooms getting ready for action?
- are you perhaps even closer to God, on the reserve bench?
- or are you a Christian, on the pitch- where the action is?

Others may place themselves in the showers -cooling off from the action of being a Christian. Some youth workers have placed themselves here -feeling tired, battered, soiled and needing refreshment before returning to the pitch.

In the club, during Ten o’clock Newz this pitch has been used to get kids to think and publicity declare where they are. I always remember Ingrid, one of our beautiful black girls, walking from the disco area across the social area to place herself on the terraces. Others have said, ‘I’m in the pub on the corner of the next street!’ or, ‘I’m on the terraces with my back to the pitch!’ (That says a lot, doesn’t it?) Bones, an eighteen-year-old boy, placed himself on the terraces, but a week later in the midst of a chat pointed out that he had moved to the changing rooms - getting ready!

This device is used a lot in the youth club to make it easier to talk about Christian things. Kids easily respond or bring up the subject without any feeling of threat. Among Christians it is also a very useful device for cultivating spiritual self- disclosure. Often in our full- times’ daily ‘Feelings Meeting’ (a share and prayer time together) we ask, ‘Where are you on the pitch at the moment?’ ‘I’m on the pitch- the touch line, but no one is passing me the ball,’ said a keen Christian. What does that say? Here are other responses I’ve heard during the years:

‘I’m on the pitch, but lying on a stretcher.’

‘I’m on the pitch, but with shins bleeding, playing defence all the time.’
‘I’m scoring goals!’
‘Mid- field distributing the ball and keeping abreast of the game.’

‘I’m dirty, knackered, sweaty- but ‘I’m on the pitch.’

In the Rolling Magazine Fun Tent that I head up at Greenbelt Christian Arts Festival every year, ‘The Pitch’ is used effectively to cultivate sharing in small groups as well as to challenge the know Christian celebrities and artistes.

In the club, nasty incidents continued to happen. A worker had his hair set on fire, a radiator was pulled from the wall and the club flooded while a chair was set on fire at the same time. The kids physically harassed workers and I had to develop new skills of responding physically too, but in a non- threatening manner. Sometimes in the early days when I was being verbally abused I used to give the boy a sharp kick in the shins and smile. It was usually unseen by his mates and yet it was felt by the offending young man with positive results. I would be criticised by many for this sort of action and I wouldn’t do it now, but it did get results and respect in those early days of ‘Who’s that fat slob with the funny voice?’

This links with what I now call ‘Get lost theology’. Let me illustrate. During 1984 we had a great deal of disruption and physical attacks from a gang called ‘the Smithys’. They had ‘steamed’ the club, swinging iron bars and broken cues, attacking kids and youth workers. Some time later they turned up when Margaret and Deb were on the door. ‘Can I nip upstairs and get a light for my fag?’ said one infamous member of the gang who was currently charged with burglary and arson- burning down a local corner shop. ‘Get lost!’ said Deb, ‘I’ll get one for you.’ Three years before that, she would have let him in, with the whole gang, and it would have been goodbye quiet evening. The ‘Get lost theology’ is basically being wise enough not to get conned.

Patrick Butler, one of our long-term workers, who has now left us for a professional Youth and Community Work training, speaks of his most memorable lesson which happened early during his Mayflower time.

Oddball, Murph, Pete, Micky and a few others chatting were with me by the coffee bar. Murph pulled me aside and whispered something in my ear. ‘Ask Micky how his mum dances.’ I was reluctant, feeling very unsure of my ground, but not wanting to appear a spoilsport. His persistence soon won over my uncertainty and I asked Micky how his mum danced. A deathly hush fell amongst the group and Micky grabbed me and thrust’, me against the wall. I heard murmurs of ‘the bastard!’, and ‘fancy asking him that’. Micky, with a first held close to my face warned me colourfully and in no uncertain terms what would happen to me if I ever said anything like that again, and it was only confused that Murph explained that Micky’s mum was in a wheelchair and hadn’t got any legs!

It was just a ‘wind- up’, as it is known in Canning Town. His Mum had legs and it was just part of the aggressive fun!

A teenager approaches me in club and says, ‘Pip, I want to become a Christian.’ ‘Get lost,’ I say. That has happened so often. That question, the most incredible, exciting question a person can ask, and yet I say ‘get lost’. The reason is that you become culturally aware, and therefore understand what they are really saying, gaining respect in the process. Otherwise you are written off as a ‘wally’, as Patrick described in another incident.

One evening I got talking to Kev and a few of his mates. Kev told me he was unemployed and we talked for a long time about how he felt about not being able to get a job. He described his frustrations, staying in bed until lunch- time, having no money. My heart went out to him. I therefore felt humiliated when later I discovered that Kev in fact did have a job and that our whole conversation had just been a joke.

Another wind-up!

‘Get lost theology’ means loving kids so much that you learn how to communicate within their culture. When someone really asks how you become a Christian, ‘Get lost’ is never the reply!

This ‘Get lost theology’ can also be reversed and the kids themselves develop a ‘rubbish philosophy’. I can remember someone fifteen years ago coming up to me after a Ten o’clock Newz at the ‘y’ Club and saying ‘That what you said was a load of rubbish.’ What he was really saying was, ’Tell me more about Jesus.’ It was a question! An aggressive approach that was followed by an earnest conversation about Jesus. That night the young man believed that Jesus followed him home as he walked the dark streets. Some days later he committed his life to his Creator as we sat at the club coffee bar together. That same ‘Rubbish’ approach has been made to e much more recently at the Mayflower too.

During 1984 we had a particularly difficult boy who came into club on his own, but attached himself to the most troublesome gang at that time. He was about sixteen, well-built and very well dressed, like all of the kids. His particular behaviour was not only being abusive, throwing chips, bashing equipment etc., but also deliberately approaching leaders and challenging them to physical confrontation. He used to approach Patrick, who himself is young and physically fit, and push him and kick him to force some reaction from him. Often I had to have eyes in the back of my head to be able to intervene and place my older, less muscular, and less threatening frame between them. He would never disclose his name to us. He signed in as Donald Duck or the current most popular West Ham player, so when we talked about him in the de- brief meetings after club we used to call him ‘£98 Jumper’. That was because the only disclosure he had made about himself was that his sweater had cost him £98.

One disco night he was being particularly obnoxious and, praying the club through- as you have to do for safety and sanity- I spied my chance. I was pushing my way through the crush near the coffee bar and £98 Jumper was perched on a stool. As I passed I gently punched him in the testicles, paused briefly, smiled and walked on. It hurt him, I could tell. He said nothing then, but later on the next evening he was in, and he took trouble to chat with me. It was a stand-up chat giving him the chance to discontinue the conversation at his will, yet he disclosed much of his life that night, about his school experiences, home, friends, clothes, in fact it was a breakthrough. I had made contact with him. Physical contact that demanded to be noticed. This was surrounded by love, warmth, smiles and appropriately shown willingness to talk.

You don’t handle everyone in that way, in fact, that was unusual. Sometimes you let things go because there are more important priorities. In that first year, in 1975, I wrote in my Youth Report: ‘As I walked past a corridor in club last week two teenage boys were fighting with knives and I just walked on by. It was a friendly fight. A few seconds later I paused, “What am I doing?” Here am I getting conditioned into the ways I know to be wrong….’

Atypical response form people who hear about these sort of incident would be, ‘Does the club create these sort of incident and thereby these sort of young people?’

....... I will end here, there is more in Ch;3 and remember .......... sometimes you cannot handle two young men fighting with knives because there are greater priorities ............ that was real folks .. ..... ...... and remember this book was 'out of print' (see link to updated new edition below) - published 20 years ago and I am a very different human now - but all this was real then ............

.... I must read the book again .....

Updated version - much more in than the original 1985 version.