Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Why people change .............
Why people change:
1. Slow despair, boredom.
2. They hurt sufficiently.
3. The sudden discovery that they can.
1. Slow despair, boredom.
2. They hurt sufficiently.
3. The sudden discovery that they can.
BHP
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
L5 Level Five Communication - powerful Developmental TOOL
I talk about Level Five when I get close enough to someone.
In hostels where I have spent many years of my life conducting group work,
often only starting at 10 in the evening,
often only starting at 10 in the evening,
I introduce L5 and
encourage all to share something of their lives on each of the five steps.
WOW
BHP
Monday, October 29, 2018
I am asking you a question here. Can you do the challenge. ??????
A Becoming Question for you
with some other beautiful humans already answering::
I am asking questions to you and anyone who I can reach
AND I am answering it first - see below.
Answering - responding is OPEN TO EVERYONE.
This question - QUESTION is ::
We all have Abilities and Disabilities.
Not just the stereo typical physical or mental visible ones.
'Can you share one ABILITY and
one Disability and
say WHY you choose these two to share?'
I will answer first as I always do.
*
One of my many disabilities is my spelling and grammar AND I don’t know the alphabet..
I get by via spellchecker.
That is why I never use a Flipchart when I am Facilitating/Training which
has led me to developing more interactive creative methods.
I have lived with this all my life but still feel the shame.
Ability - I think I am a warm person with empathy which helps me to build a climate of trust in relationships.
I have chosen these two because I feel most inadequate with this disability and my relationships are of vital important to me.
Pip Wilson
OTHERS NOW FOLLOW
I'd say my disability
is in trying to read other people's moods, expressions and emotions and
getting things wrong! I struggle to deal with other people's emotional
behaviour, I like things to be balanced and level and unfortunately most
people's lives are messy and broken and I do feel helpless.
My biggest ability is
my gift with kids, I am fortunate to have a fantastic job where I work
with kids, I love the spirit and individuality and independence kids
have, I feel comfortable and capable and we have great fun and a great
bond.
Julia
My disability is my
bad short term memory and my ability is I can read people, and I can
relate communicate and empathise with people, I chose these because the
disability is something that has happened recently and is causing
anxiety in me and I am having to find ways to cope with it, also sharing
it lessens the fear.
I chose the ability
because this has served me very well over the years and is a great asset
to me that has stood me in good stead and has become stronger over the
years.
No name
My greatest disability
I would say is still believing the negative messages I have received
about myself over the years and which are very deep rooted. No matter
how hard it is to try and shake them off they niggle away at me and it
takes nothing much for them to leap straight to the forefront of my mind
to the exclusion of all reason. This is very disabling - and I chose to
share because I believe it is something that affects many people. It’s
also why I believe it is so important to focus on people’s abilities and
strengths and build on the positives.
An ability which has
been invaluable over the years is that of resilience and not giving up
when things fall apart or go wrong, but looking for a way forwards,
or sideways and believing it will all work out even if I can’t see how. I
am sharing this because we never know what tomorrow will hold and when
there will be light at the end of the tunnel if we can just keep going…
Katie
One visual ability is
being able to spot things that are different, such as items moved in a
room, hairstyles and colours. It enables me to start up conversations
about things which often matter to others
One social disability is finding parties dull, which reduces an area of life from me. I prefer small groups or one to ones
Ian
One Ability: I'm
learning later in life than I probably should have, how to put my own
interests second to the needs and interests of others. My Disability is
that still too often when I do this, I only carry it off with reluctance
or resentment.
John
My biggest ability is
also my biggest disability. I love people. In my work with EBSD
children, I am getting very involved with them and their emotional
state. They progress and blossom, but my working out off the box also
often gets me into trouble and wears me out. And whenever there are too
many of them needing me or something from me, i stretch until i break.
Heike
One of my disabilities
is a very real inability to hold verbal information in my mind for any
length of time, unless i have seen it written down. It causes a lot
of bother in daily living.
One ability is that i
am very intrigued about other people. Lots of people want to talk either
about themselves or about what they do, opinions, choices,
friends, family, feelings, furys….
I have chosen both of
these because i am person who exists in a world right up alongside with
other people. Sadly the disability causes frustration to others whilst i
can only hope that the ability might help me to be a better
listener. Maybe they balance each other out….
NO NAME
The disability is most
definitely clinical depression. I am on daily medication for this and
have been since the nineties. It was poo poo’d for many years by doctors
and I was left without any support. It was a struggle to keep my head
above the water of life. Of course I blamed myself for having dark
episodes in my life. Once it was diagnosed I realised how I could try
and tackle the symptoms. The experience has been part of the journey in
walking besides others through their dark periods. People who
are hurting trust me because they know I won’t judge or condemn them,
nor will I be superficial and come out with a “verse” for
every occasion! It has taught me to actively listen with my mind, my
heart and my being.
Abilities
I can sing
unaccompanied and have done recordings in the past. My dad told me that I
could sing before I could speak. I can write and compose, songs &
poetry. have presented papers on Children’s Spirituality & Being
Alongside those in trauma. as well as Art Reprobates! It’s even been
said that I was good and born communicator. I’ll let others decide on
that one. It would seem that I can also make people laugh a lot with my
ready banter & sometime wit. I love to see people smile and laugh
heartily.
Annie
Take 1
My ability and
disability lie in exactly the same place. My thinking space – which I
don’t believe all just happens in the brain.
I have the ability to come up with ideas, imaginative thinking, positive dreams and visions.
My disability is that I give in to mental blocks (negative thoughts?)
· “you have never done anything with them in the past”
· “don’t bother calling X to discuss them as they are busy with other things”
· “you know you are bound to get this wrong again as always”
· “they wouldn’t work anyway”
and so I end up never do anything with the positive ideas.
I am not sure Take 1 works, so here is Take 2 (your choice):
I have the ability to love the unlovely.
I have sat in prison cells and listened to another human being’s story whose crimes would be repulsive to others.
I cry a lot when reading the stories of the broken, excluded and down trodden.
I have the inability to not feel rage towards those with money and power who use it and keep it just for themselves,
And those who make vast amounts of money from wars and violence.
Mark
Oh - another
interesting one. Is there a difference between learned abilities and
natural ones? Why ask that - well when I was younger I was very good at
learning things quickly, especially maths & science, which made many
exams a breeze for me - but in some ways thats also a disability
because it’s not something other kids are too keen on that & some
teachers wonder if you are cheating & that they just can't
prove. Learnt one, I'm far more capable of emphathy now with people -
but also in a way that keeps a little safe space between you and them.
Disability - many
would probably disagree with this, but being a shortarse as so many of
my friends have cheerfully called me over the years. Girls probably find
it a little easier in being thought cute - I'd worry if anyone ever
thought of me in that way. It has an impact on many things, not just the
obvious like not always being able to see at standing gigs, for a while
in the local theatre until they changed their seating layout for a
really good thing I'd get two tickets, the one where I was sitting and
the seat in front of that to make sure I had a decent view. Then there's
shopping for shoes - my wife dreads it when I decide to look for shoes,
why? Because I'm a five and a half which basically means I'm looking
for a small 6 in mens shoes. You try looking for those! Hours of fun!
Tony
My biggest disability is trying to please everyone and becoming paranoid
when I think someone might be saying something about me.
My ability is to make people smile everyday and know deep down that I am loved and respected by my family and work colleagues.
Sue
I'm told that one of my abilities is the ability to listen and empathise
with people. I'm definitely a people person and I love that.
The thing that disables me most is anxiety. I struggled for a long time
with depression and still take a low-dose medication to remain stable.
Under stress, it's sometimes hard to remember the reality of a situation
and I can fall back into believing feelings which tend to be
unreliable!
Jill
One of my Abilities is to be spontaneous. To improvise. To be creative. I
seem to flourish in situations like these. I love the adrenalin. I love
to be contagious to other people. I develop a lot of power, love and
passion then.
But bright and dark lie close together. There is always a little “curse” in our blessings. And vice versa.
I guess my Disablitlity is related with this Ability somehow.
It´s doing routine-jobs. I´ve got big problems to do some important work
at the office in time. Application forms, invoices, documentations.
That causes a lot of stress in my life.
I choose these, because they have big influence in my daily life and
because I work on these topics for myself all the time. I learned a lot,
sometimes it was painful. I´m still trying to keep a healthy balance.
Marc
I'd say my disability is my sensitivity, being a highly sensitive
person. It means that I can take on board others feelings and get pulled
downwards when those around me are stressed or suffering. It means my
own mood can be affected by those around me, and that I can take on
stress that is not my own. Being highly sensitive can also mean that I
get hurt quickly, and can overthink things!
However this is also an ability, being sensitive means I can notice when
others are experiencing different feelings, when people are saying
something which is not consistent with how they are feeling. It means I
have a heightened level of empathy with others, and can understand how
others are impacted by different issues. It took me a while to work out
how to make a disability into an ability, but I'm glad I have!!
V
Ability: To listen and to understand with great empathy those who
confide in me, to support and encourage and show love to others from any
background, race or faith and be a consistent rock if necessary.
Honouring and respecting the trust placed in me.
Disability: Many, but from my perspective the greatest (not least
because it would almost certainly help resolve many of the others) is
the fact that I have no one who could do the same for me. Sometimes
being "strong" is hard and I do wish that I had someone to talk to the
way that many talk to me. Not having anyone in my life that is able to
do the same for me.
Michaela
Disability - I think I can be impatient and that diminishes my best
ability, to see the amazing gifts and talents and possibilities
in others as people are such a blessing if I choose to look.
My beautiful wife has MS which means we have had to completely change
everything I have to serve her abilities so her physical disabilities
don't become the defining thing and so there is good in everything.
Danny
My ability: I have the ability to make people feel welcome and safe when
I meet them. It is a part of me. Natural. It comes from my parents,
especially my father.
My disability right now: Controlling the anger inside me because I don't
think before I act. I was always happy go lucky and never let things
bother me. I guess I am passive agressive as I hate conflict. I am a
peacemaker. Well now as I enter the menopausal stage of my life and
dealing with my parents' illnesses and stress at work I am allowing my
anger to get the better of me and blurt out words before I think.
Karyne
A disability of mine...
Well, I have many, I suppose. I can't roller skate or do math very well.
I am inconsistent with time and am continually over-optimistic with my
expectations of what I can accomplish. But, I'd have to say the
disability that affects me the most in my daily life is my difficulty in
understanding that other people are willing, able and ready to help me
in astounding ways. I get caught up in the notion that I have to do "all
this", whatever that happens to be, by myself when the reality is that I
am surrounded by wonderful people and world that conspires to help in
unexpected ways. I am open to it, allow it, receive it when I am able to
do so. It's not the lack of help that isolates me.
An ability of mine...
I have an ability to imagine possibilities and potentials. I have a
visions and ideals that I'm happy to work for. I enjoy helping others
imagine their potentials and possibilities and helping them work for
theirs.
I shared these because I'm very aware of my disability this week. Got
myself into a painful place again because of it. And the ability is what
drives me forward, but I can suffer in the experience of potential and
possibility when I don't invite others to come and join me in the work.
So, these two go together for me.
Sarah
Ability - I am very principled. I don't break my principles for
anything. This means I sometimes suffer difficult times and people may
perceive me as too stringent..but I don't break them for anything.
Disability - I am not good at consoling people who have suffered
bereavement. I never know what to do. Shall I say something or is that
patronising? Shall I stay quiet or is that showing I don't care?
Zam
My disability is an over-eagerness to do things for others, I find it
very difficult to say no to people and often helping people comes at a
financial cost to my business or a cost to my own time that I can’t
afford when I'm really busy. My ability however is pretty much the
same thing, people trust me and confide in me, they run business ideas
past me for an honest appraisal, I'm privy to confidences about broken
marriages and affairs, financial problems and a whole host of other
things. I listen, I observe and I don't judge which is why helping
others is both an ability and a disability. It's nice to be wanted and
needed, all of us need some validation but the problem is knowing when
to say no.
IAN
I have obvious conditions that people at first glance would call
disabilities. Such as my Dysmelia, a bone deficiency diagnosis in my
right arm, and a genetic lack of teeth in my jaw. These are purely
physical. But they are not, as stated earlier, necessarily disabilities
to me. Well, I could have done without the missing teeth, but there you
go.
My right hand is my superpower, because through all my dabbling with
self loathing and body shame, and various baggage that has been
inflicted upon me, that has been one constant thing that I was never
once ashamed of. It's only a trifle compared to an enormous amount of
other physical conditions in the world, but it has given me the ability
to think creatively to solve every day problems, to see aesthetics in
asymmetry and lopsidedness, and it has continuously kept me vulnerable,
which I realise now is a strength of mine. I am able to empathise and
identify. Ever since I was a child, a strong instinct, thanks to my
mother never telling me that I couldn't do what others could, was that I
could do it too. I would do it too. And I'm regaining the unwillingness
to give up little by little. - Well, I couldn't do cart wheels, and my
math skills are regrettable at best, but again, there you go.
Oh yes, and I'm good with words.
My disability - I think - is my tendency towards isolation when my
energy levels plummet, as they do. And my tendency to inflict blame upon
myself, and to blame my isolation on my loss of energy and give up,
instead of standing up to the fear that I won't be good enough if I
participate because I am so exhausted. My exhaustion merely enhances my
low self image, and my fear that I won't be good enough. This circle is
my most disabling disability.
Mone
*
Thank you so much
If you have contributed here
and to those who have read & digested
these beautiful authentic sharing of Abilities and Disabilities.
If you are willing to join in
with this Question
There is a purpose in this experience.
It is about you as an individual
in your becoming
me in mine
and all if they read & reflect themselves.
I don’t think anyone who reads the above
can not be touched deeply.
Thanking you
Pip BHP
*
I don’t understand why anyone would want to #hurt #humans of #Jewish #faith.
..... I don’t understand
Just why?
I can understand #racism - that #horrific #attitude & actions that #stigmatise
a whole race because they don’t like ONE person - maybe attacking Jews
is like racism but -
it is a faith lived out over many nations / races.
Jewish people
BHP
O2 Arena, London Spectacle, experience and expected politicking from the irreplaceable U2.
U2 @ The O2 Arena, London
Spectacle, experience and expected politicking from the irreplaceable U2.
There’s something special in the air tonight. U2 roll into London with their Innocence + Experience show once more, bringing with them a sense of a band who may be starting to enter their final chapter but still remain fighting fit. One of the few artists in the world who are capable of making The O2 feel intimate, the long runway and multiple stages dominate the entire centre of the arena. Clever touches abound throughout. Hanging from the roof of the arena, a gigantic video screen flashes images and messages before the band appear inside it to ‘The Blackout’, almost seeming to be part of the display initially before emerging fully in lightning fast flashes of light.
What then follows is an impressive journey through the years, pulling
from nearly all of their albums (with the notable exceptions of, amongst
a handful of others, The Joshua Tree and most strangely, Songs Of
Innocence - both missing perhaps due to recent celebratory tours in
their own right). The concept of the Dubliners moving from days of
innocence into experience works well, Bono dropping in anecdotes about
the early days. “34 people saw us in 1980 at The Hope & Anchor.
Tonight is… better.” he laughs after breakneck renditions of ‘I Will
Follow’, ’Gloria’ and ‘Beautiful Day’.
As The Edge rips through the mighty riff to ‘The Fly’ (surely one of the
strangest number one records of the 1990’s), and the crowd lustily
roars along to ‘Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses’, the first part to
the night draws to an end. A clever animation continues the journey into
the days of ‘Experience’, a heady time that Bono tonight freely admits
could have spelt the end for U2. Re-appearing at the other end of the
arena, a volley of huge bangers are delivered - ‘Vertigo’, ‘Elevation’,
‘Even Better Than The Real Thing’ setting the night off once more before
the return of MacPhisto, Bono’s twisted alter ego during Zoo TV days.
Slightly shonky effects notwithstanding, it is amusing to see his return
to the fray.
Of course, Bono wouldn’t be Bono without some political point-making.
“This is not who we want to be” he shouts at the outset of ‘Pride (In
The Name Of Love) - a song that sees the four band members scattered
across the huge arena. Giving an impassioned cry for unity, solidarity
and a love for London as one of the great European cities, a huge EU
flag drops behind the stage. “Without you, we are less” he states simply
before a version of ‘New Years Day’ that suddenly seems to take on a
whole new context, even before ‘Ode To Joy’ plays as an outro to hammer
the point home.
There is still time for an encore that contains a highly emotional
version of ‘One’, with U2 lit up by the glow of a few thousand phone
torchlights, shining like the brightest stars in the night. Much like
the night itself, its message of the importance of togetherness and the
need to overcome our differences still carries the same power and
poignancy that it ever did. Words for both the innocent and the
experienced, to live by.
Photo credits: Ross Stewart & Danny North - supplied by artist representatives
Sunday, October 28, 2018
Saturday, October 27, 2018
Friday, October 26, 2018
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