Wednesday, November 28, 2018

A London Hostel, seated around a small coffee table laden with chocolate, marshmallows and a fondue. It is late night.



I am with a group of beautiful humans.
All living on the edge of society.
In a London Hostel, 
seated around a small coffee table laden with chocolate, 
marshmallows and a fondue.
It is late night.

Music is playing. 
There is always music.

Some are still standing
maybe ready to make their escape.
We have eight BHP's with us. 
Sometimes there are fifteen or more. 
It is small group work, 
sometimes called informal education.


All are made welcome
the chocolate is saying this too.
We have the limping, wounded, damaged, insecure.
Young, but old, at seventeen.
Older, once professionals, 
now showing the familiar signs of too much alcohol. 
Out of prison, out of care.
Medicated, and those with chemical eyes.
Some loud, some quiet, some cautious, 
some slumped, some hardly really here.

The lead-in is so gently led.
I check out any names because they are first-timers
or my dumb brain fails to remember.
I chatter a lot, fixing up the fondue, 
asking them to pull in closer, 
melting the chocolate, 
referring to my laptop dancing with images - 
all their faces from the groups in recent weeks.

When the dunking and eating is done,
I introduce them to H.A.L.T.
I hand out a copy of a Blob Tool
illustrating it
(I find it helps to put them at ease if they can hold something).




When we are ::
Hungry, 
Angry, 
Lonely or 
Tired 
we are at risk.

I illustrate from my own life.
Being snappy with the ones I love because I am tired. 
Stomping out of the room and slamming the door as a child.


I use a Blob tool to get them involved.
Identifying which Blob is Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.
(Using the Blobs, who are so full of emotions, 
is an ease into deeper discussions). 
I ask them to say how that Blob feels, 
and not to use the words happy or sad.
I ease them into extending their emotional literacy
by searching for more appropriate words. 
Tapping their own experiences.


Articulating with the help of their own internal
reference bank of raw experiences.

Talking about emotions makes them less scary. 
Sometimes the feelings remaining after some trauma 
can be worse than the trauma itself).

At the right time I go more personal.
On the back of my own self revelation
I ask others to share when they are most raw -
is it when they are Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired?

An older teenager jumps in and spills.
He knows that an early honest contribution
gives permission for others to also let things out. 
He tells about how, when he is lonely/ isolated 
how he suddenly loses-it and lashes out at anyone.

"To be lonely is to feel unwanted
and unloved, and therefore unlovable. 
Loneliness is a taste of death.
No wonder some people
who are desperately lonely
lose themselves in mental illness
or violence to forget the inner pain.” 
Jean Vanier, 
Becoming Human


BHP

Wake up dead man - U2

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Trees that change lives - Blob Trees here with a range of themes

 
 
 
 
 
BHP

It all comes out of the Hard Drive in our head = the Brain. Emotions travel faster to the HD than the thought process. More-so in adolescence.






It all comes out of the Hard Drive
in our head = the Brain. 
Emotions travel faster to the HD than the thought process. 
More-so in adolescence.
In certain situations the anger fades quickly.
Others live with it for much longer.
I believe and experience many humans
becoming aware and skilled in this area
Emotional Intelligence can be developed.

My work with groups is a challenge.
Not only do I aim to communicate
but I aim to create an environment and opportunity for everyone there to communicate.
Yes listening!
Yes verbally and non-verbally
expressing themselves

In my own life I know that managing emotions needs
continuous opportunities to articulate them with others.

Many professionals struggle with their own emotions
including anger management. in their work and private lives.
Five significant Anger Management tips from the incomplete me are::

1 Every time you feel a feeling, give it a name.
This may sound strange because we have feelings every milli-second but I am referring to the feelings which stand out from the crowd.
The special pleasant one and more important, the not so nice one.
This act of naming feelings will develop emotional literacy
- inner you, the important you. 
The emotionally literate you.

2 Capture the strength of a feeling when you feel it.
Hold it in your hand so to speak.
Note it. Speak it or at least write it down. 
Use it as a tool. 
A learning tool.
Try not to control it,
suppress it,
but manage it.


3 Give special attention to the anger, jealousy, envy and negative feelings generally.
Turn the emotion inside-out to examine it.
Take it by the throat and use the energy to understand it. 
Reverse it into a positive feeling - use it.
Do something with it.
When I watch a movie or TV and see a fictitious character, or a real life person, whose behaviour or attitude I don't like, I ask why? 
Why don't I? 
What are my feelings?
What is the behaviour? 
Why is this person behaving this way? 
I am taking the energy from my own emotions and using it.

4 If you only spend time with humans just like yourself
- same social strata,
it will be harder to develop emotionally.
Deliberately spend time with those who are different. 
The more extreme the better.
Do the above with them. 
Learn from them.
Working with 'the hard to reach' is a great challenge but massive in terms of learning.
5 All feelings are yours - not another persons.
Feelings inside you are yours.
"He made me feel angry" cannot be a correct statement because nobody makes us feel. 
They come from inside us. 
We feel. 
They behave. 
They have attitudes.

Both ends of the spectrum can stimulate our feelings. 
And - they, family, friends, colleagues, clients –
in helping relationships
need humans in their lives who are getting to grips with their own
emotions - including ANGER.
This is where I am at.
Not complete. 
On a journey. 
Join me?
Please take at least one thought away from my reflections. 
Consider what you plan to do with that seed.
Feedback and your reflections - always welcome

"Hope has two beautiful daughters. 
Their names are anger and courage; 
anger at the way things are,
and courage to see that
they do not remain the way they are."  

Augustine of Hippo

BHP

Yet another STABBING death of a teenage beautiful human .................





...... so very sad ....  

#TRAGIC ........ 

#workers have taken from the #UK #streets who were building lasting #relationships as #teens journey through their #toughest years AND ....... 


gathering centres of all kinds have been chopped out of the most needy #urban #areas
leaving lives at risk...... and #DEATH ...... 

why can’t we get positive role models back on our streets? ......................... 

these young teens  





Saturday, November 24, 2018

Level Five group in our 38th year of undressing - our souls







The Hard Drive in our heads.





It all comes out of the Hard Drive
in our head = the Brain. 
Emotions travel faster to the HD than the thought process. More-so in adolescence.
In certain situations the anger fades quickly.
Others live with it for much longer.
I believe and experience many humans
becoming aware and skilled in this area
Emotional Intelligence can be developed.
My work with groups is a challenge.
Not only do I aim to communicate
but I aim to create an environment and 
opportunity for everyone there to communicate.
Yes listening!
Yes verbally and non-verbally
expressing themselves
In my own life I know that managing emotions needs
continuous opportunities to articulate them with others.




BHP

Thursday, November 22, 2018

I have decided that 'ease' is not OK. Black and white is not OK. Comfortable is not OK










A Town Called Uncomfortable
I feel a bit low today
but I feel it melting
as the day trips over noon.

But I want to capture
the feelings
because I want to know why? 

Why do I feel this way today?
Feelings are signals.
What is the signal?
Knowing my feelings,
feeling them,
owning them,
dissecting them
is important to me.
It is part of discovery journey. 

The road I want to travel -
to understand me -
to understand others - 

to feel deep empathy. 
Care/Sensitivity/Love.
I could give a lot more in relationships.
But I have been to the edge. 
I know boundaries better.
I know about fear
I know about error
I know about failure
But, I would rather fail on the edge because, 
I believe that
growth does not reside
in a place called comfortable.
I have decided that 'ease' is not OK.
Black and white is not OK. 
Comfortable is not OK
I want to reside in a place called
un-ease/discontent.
And by living there
learning, 
accepting, 
wanting
to be in that place,
we can be open to the normality of constant change
evaluation
re-focus
discovery
learning

and being the opposite of conservative. 




Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Blob Behaviour Cards - more than a game

Blob Tree Tools

Blob Behaviour Cards


Behaviour Blob Cards: 1st Edition (Flashcards) book cover

Behaviour Blob Cards

1st Edition

By Pip Wilson, Ian Long

Routledge
48 pages
Purchasing Options:£ = GBP
Flashcards: 9780863888793
pub: 2011-08-31
SAVE ~£5.20
£25.99
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Description

Behaviour is always in the news. 
Sometimes we praise people for their endeavour, their heroism and their love. 
Generally we complain about people for their laziness, arrogance, pettiness and bad behaviour. 
The media are full of it and our daily conversation is filled with what our acquaintances or characters from the soaps are up to!
Blob Behaviour is a set of cards which looks at how we all relate and provides the user with an opportunity to look at the whole range of human behaviour …and understand one another through it!





BHP

Blob-Tree Resources - Black Friday edition - pick yourself out of this lot ?

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Asking you a question. The deeper you.  πŸ…±πŸ…΄πŸ…°πŸ†„πŸ†ƒπŸ…ΈπŸ…΅πŸ†„πŸ…»  you.







I was working / living with teens & behaviour that was hitting my life hard. 
I could see their behaviour but not their journey - 
their inner being. 
I had to change & see their beautiful 
despite behaviour & started saying it to them.
 #YouAreBeautiful 

Seeing through behaviour beyond beyond ....
God loves these beautiful humans & need to - 
but not love their behaviour. 

#YouAreBeautiful changed my everything towards them but ..
I had to turn it ALSO to myself. 
I must be beautiful too
Not what the mirror says
The scales say
My feelings say sometimes. 
I knew God loved me when I was 21 but 
I did to accept my own beautiful.  
No love for self. 
That’s when I became an adult. 

A new beautiful view insight philosophy mission. 

I have just been in Berlin for 3 days & everyone I have asked this question  ..... there was pause 
+Digging Deep 
& they answered. 

I understand that people don’t want to go online/ public with an answer but
I believe it is good for our soul to dig. 
It is different for everyone. 
No one says 18

From a train home bound. 
www.pipwilson.com




BHP

In Berlin - a big experience for me & all



Saturday, November 10, 2018

LOVE that one person you will spend the rest of your life with







What keeps you awake? 


The things that keep us awake, 
will you have a go at that?

Are they sometimes the things 
that we bury alive?

Buried alive!! 
Some life experiences are buried alive.
So we wrap them up into parcels and push them deep into our soul. 

These things are not buried dead. 
They are alive inside us. 
These things are buried alive and 
they stay alive and hurt drain emotional energy 
active inside 

These little packages ..... or bigger, 
are like parcels all wrapped up with 
string and selotape. 
They are buried because they are uncomfortable to live with - handle - manage. 
 
They all need to be pulled out and opened up. 
Examined and dealt with. 
Then they can be buried dead. 
Not inside us alive. 

Talk with someone.
Please don't keep them deep in your gut.
You will be drained.
Numbed.
Maybe enough to make life NOT worth living.

You are beautiful.
You can turn this bad stuff around.
But we all need to get stuff out
NOT ALL WRAPPED UP!!!!!!!

 


love like you have never been hurt 
====================== 
LOVE that one person you will spend
the rest of your life with =
you ..................................




BHP