Thursday, November 30, 2017


 If you sign up with your email HERE on my 
 (TOP of the Right sidebar you will see a SUBSCRIBE box) 
you will get ONE email most days when I 
reflect & share thoughts /quotes/ Jokes 
(if you can call them that) 
+ news of new books + Blob Tree Tools - loads of new stuff in the Pipline ..........

It is the one thing I would ask of you .....


I want one - Ive always desired a cap with 'BHP' on ......... Bespoke

Reflections on being drained & knackered at Christmas - and the learning ...

For years we lived in London's East End.
Every Christmas we travelled north to our families.
Tired I was.
Working long hours
emotions drained
desperate for a break
and then tired from a car journey.

I remember needing headspace.
Yet two sets of families who wanted us there.
So did I, but I also, felt my soul was being cut in half.
It was joyous.
Great memories of family times.
But I also recall the emptiness 
and pressure to keep going.
these festive times
can be tough times for all of us.
Maybe you are feeling now?
Silly words = we are always feeling.
It is just not easy, sometimes, to 
get into contact with our feelings!

I wonder what you are feeling now?
If we did not have them on the surface, 
go deeper,
feel them.

Whatever you do
please don't lock down.
I have had to learn new strategies
to manage my complex emotions.

TIPS - I never give advice - this is where I am at.
1. I write down feeling words. I have done this daily - often late at night. If they are not captured and summarised, they will continue rolling around in our brains like a cement mixer, demanding attention, sapping our emotional resources until we stop and pour out the concrete. Solid issues recorded.
2. Do a SWOT analysis on yourself. (SWOT = Strengths/Weaknesses/Opportunities and Threats.) Focus on life right now. I use a template (enclosed) Start with Weaknesses, a list of the negatives in your life. Owning them is so vital. Then move to Strengths - the positives in your life. They too are vital to 'own'.  The Strengths and Weaknesses are about NOW. Moving onto the Opportunities and Threats means looking at the future, both + and - in terms of positive steps to avoid the threats whilst focusing on the positives.
3. Learn & have handy, three positive inputs when you know you are 'flat' or 'drained'. I have certain i) Books which I can turn to which know will inspire me.  Kick start that inner core of passion even though it maybe buried under much baggage. ii) Music. I have certain albums, artistes, playlists which lift my spirits. iii) Reflections. I write. I reflect. I yearn. I become a Feelologist - An 'Emotion Detective' & I start Imagineering. 

Thank you for joining me on this exciting journey.
Feedback is always welcome.


A Teenager in a YMCA Hostel - London

Teenager in a YMCA Hostel, London
18 this day
When he was :-
17 he lived above a pub
16 in a hostel in Liverpool
15 in a different hostel in Liverpool
14 in a Children's home
13 he lived with his Mother
Happy Birthday


Pip Wilson in Norway .............. 1 minute VIDEO

A post shared by Pip Wilson BHP (@beautifulhumanperson) on Brain Detective 1 minute VIDEO

Actual FEAR leading up to Christmas .........


Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Emotions & Behaviour


Teenagers will always outwit parents

Jamie Oliver has banned his daughter from posting ‘porno’ selfies, but kids will be kids

I’ve got time for Jamie Oliver – at least he tries to stand up for more than his own-branded crockery. This week, the father of five was commenting on teenagers posting provocative selfies online. He’s banned his 14-year-old daughter Daisy from posting selfies, and says that some of the photos he’s seen of other girls are “quite porno, luscious, pouty, pushing boobs out”. Oliver notes that this is the first parental generation to deal with social media, and wonders: why are the girls allowed to do it? Oliver says: “I’m like: Really? Aren’t their parents all over that like a rash?” 

Well, I have news for Oliver – it’s quite probable that parents aren’t “letting them do it”. And it’s almost certain that they’re not looking at their daughters’ “porno” photos, saying: “You look great there, licking your lips suggestively in that tight top – why don’t you put it on Instagram?” 

The point being that parents either don’t realise that their children are doing it (or at least the extent of it), or they do realise, but they also twig that there no way of stopping it altogether, short of confiscating all phones and tablets, and locking the children in a padded cell between the ages of 11 and 19. And, believe me, there may be times when that latter option doesn’t seem completely out of the question. Many a battleworn parent of a teenager has travelled the trajectory from “Fly, my child, fly fearless and free”, to a version of “Off to the tower, Rapunzel, and, if you let down your hair, all Netflix rights will be suspended.”
What sometimes seems to be going on is self-willed parental myopia – an often-unconscious reluctance to realise that, while there are always exceptions, their kids are most probably up to everything their friends are up to, or a version of it – either some, or all of the time, either right in front of their faces, or sneaking around behind their backs. It’s part of the Secret World of Teenage, and in that designated age-restricted zone, operating within their own circles, it’s usually (not always, but usually) harmless and short-lived enough. And, of course, it’s not “porno”. They’re playing – testing boundaries, experimenting with their image – which has always gone on to an extent. 

While most parents wouldn’t have taken selfies in their youth, let’s be honest, it’s only because we didn’t think of it. Personally, I did a fair bit of prancing about in front of other people’s cameras, and, from the looks of it, my self-obsession was in rude health, with rude the operative word – in some photos, the look I appear to be going for is Trafficked Goth. 

While it’s a bit excruciating, it’s also screamingly funny. However – and this is the generational dividing line – back in my day, my cringeworthy cavorting was kept more or less private. As Oliver points out, there’s now social media to deal with. Photos have the potential to drop a cluster bomb of far-reaching consequences – ranging from the degradation of revenge porn, problems with future employers, to young kids just not registering that, quite often, it’s not just their target peer group that can see the images. 

So, Oliver is right, there’s plenty to worry about – in terms of short-term behaviour and long-term consequences. As any half-bright celebrity could tell you, the thing they miss the most is their anonymity. Many young people are losing this great privilege, tossing it away for a few “likes”, at a time when they’re too heartbreakingly young to realise the full implications. 

Even sadder, there’s no stopping it. Tech-wise at least, most kids would be far savvier than their parents. Too often, this isn’t about parents “letting them do it”, or failing to stop it – if certain kids want to do it, the truth is they will usually find a way.


Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Thinking about those hating Christmas because ..........


About you .................

What the mirror says
What the scales say
Your certificates say
Your knowledge says
Your body shape says
Your personality says
Your feelings say sometimes
It is the content of your soul
It is your uniqueness 
You are a BEAUTIFUL human.


Each & every day ......

Monday, November 27, 2017

Prince Harry to marry WHO?

That skill, called emotional intelligence ...................

You and I


you       |yoō|

pronoun [ second person singular or plural ]

1 used to refer to the person or people that the speaker is addressing : are you listening? | I love you.

• used to refer to the person being addressed together with other people regarded in the same class : you Australians.

• used in exclamations to address one or more people : you fools | hey, you!

2 used to refer to any person in general : after a while, you get used to it.

You make me sick

You make me mad

You always do this

You are very irritating

You are stupid

You make me feel terrible

You make me feel ugly

You make me feel angry

You make me feel sad

You make me feel hopeless

No-one makes you feel.

You feel your own feelings

They are inside you

The feelings belong to you.

Feelings can be triggered by another.

YOU - the word

is not the best word to start a sentence

not the best chance of a positive






Non verbal communication (NVC),

together with 'you' starting sentences,

(what we are NOT saying

is more powerful than words)

are usually a pointed finger

or table banging

and a screwed up face.

This person is not managing emotions well.

The ' I ' starting sentences however ....

I feel sad that you said that

I feel frustrated

I feel terrible

I feel ugly

I feel angry

I feel sad

I feel hopeless.

You are sharing your feelings here.

You are sharing your unique self,

undressing the soul.

Disclosing feelings

without dumping them on another.

The NVC here is often

palm resting on own chest

or open palms.

'I', the use of 'I',

at the front end of a sentence

is owning those feelings.

Those feelings residing in your gut,

those feelings rising up through the chest,

those feelings desperate to spit out of the mouth,

an act of fight, not flight,

unless you use emotional intelligence.

When we use ' I '

we are managing our emotions

(I don't like the word control because often

feelings are being stifled, locked in, whereas

'managing' feelings means 

we are deciding how to communicate

NOT being a reactor.

That skill, called emotional intelligence,

(always developing never fully developed)

nurtures the ability to

manage feelings.

NOT letting them manage you -

and the the resulting

surge up through the chest

the spitting of words

the damaging of relationships

and our own self esteem.

Lingering regrets! 

I believe that this small item of 

Social and Emotional Learning

can be practiced and 

be an additional tool

in the toolbox of life.


If you have no 'HOME' at Christmas .....

Smiling Faces ............

The worst mask we can wear is a smile 
to hide wounds pain & scars. 
None of us are happy all the time. 
Friends cannot connect with us 
if they don’t know who we really are.