Sunday, February 29, 2004

two big fab experiences in my life

fab fab ........ just back


WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been A SCREAMING in front of the tele
10 - 30 .......and away AND they are the world champions and we played them off the paddock

I am in recovery
will get back to you soon.

Thursday, February 26, 2004

my notes to my album of favorites

Two Shots of Happy One Shot of Sad
Pip Wilson: some favorite tracks 2004
Notes to the tracks...............................
1 UNKLE like the experimental nature
but this track is in because of the quirky
start it gives my album .........................
2 Yonderboi is a Hungarian band who
daughter Ann discovered when she was
doing a film for MTV. Like the haunting
unrecognizable words and the crackle.
3 Amy Winehouse is chosen as my
favorite album because of the potential
rather than it being a complete flowing
work of art.
4 Willis too. Another great Brit full on
voice with some, not all, good songs.
5 Vikter Duplaix was my fav album on
my iPod by the side of the Italian pool
in June. I love this as I return to it. It
has some fine depth and reason.
Touches real life in me.
6 The Roots hits my loudness button
in my soul.
7 White Stripes my only Rock album
bought in 2003. Come in U2.
8 'I just want to love you baby' was a
hook line I used in Prague. me and JT
did a sing-a-long in the main square.
9 Snoop and the Neptunes are in with
me and I collect 'beautiful' songs.
10 One is lined up for my funeral
and this version by a major man in
music history.( J. Cash)
11 Cheesy but love the U2 song
written for Sinatra but he died early.
Matt Dusk.
12 My imac says I played this there
more than any other. Massive, deep.
Massive Attack.
13 Classic Prince but love the rock
in this. Means much to me.
14 Beautiful. A meaningful song
which could not leave out. Beautiful!
15 My favorite Pav' song of love.
Orchestra best but ..... love it.
16 Nitin Sawhney I buy all he does.
Love his cross-culture-ness. Aqualung
on vocal(who played Greenbelt 2003)
17 Great man. Love him. Deep
moving song. Title track-new album.
18 Don't know the Hungarian words
here, hope fit my ethos? Feels-good.
Nice feel to close the sounds down.
19 Only seven seconds from a man
who speaks great things at Greenbelt
every year. "We are not there yet"
(John Bell)
incomplete I am. yearning for more of
all things. Wanting to journey in
uncertainty towards wholeness.


Feelings, sharing them, is the start of level five communication.

I have feelings and want to share ........................
Did level five with the group .............
Had five to start with, humans that is.
Then it grew in number as we went through the level five from bottom to top.
It is really tough on the leader and also the members when a climate of self revelation is kicking in and then comes the invasion of others who are synchronized with the feelings of others.

I always go on about the level five stuff. If you are new to it all it is about the five levels of communication. 
I have Blob drawings so people can say where they are and stuff.
I will click through them again:-
Please start reading from level one and climb up NOW

level five;- total openness
level four;- feelings
level three;- opinions
level two;- facts
level one;- cliché

the idea is to stretch ourselves to build relationships by being authentic in communication.
If we stay down the bottom end, communication and life itself - is boring. ( of course we are all at the facts and opinions level sometimes - but to stay there bbbbrrrrrrrrr so cold)

Feelings, sharing them, is the start of level five communication.
I believe we get more and give more in that very place.

We, the group, walked through the levels from top to bottom and everyone shared about themselves;-
a cliché about me and my communication
a fact about myself
an opinion I hold about myself
a feeling I have about myself
a new, not yet shared with this group, openness statement about self.

wow we did it and fab fab wonder ...............................

This plucked from the news wires ...............................................................................
A survey of people's religious beliefs in 10 countries suggests the UK is among the most secular nations in the world.

Ten thousand people were questioned in the poll by research company ICM for the BBC programme What The World Thinks Of God.

More than a quarter of Britons thought the world would be more peaceful with nobody believing in God, but very few people in other countries agreed.

The survey found the highest levels of belief in some of the world's poorer countries, but also in the world's richest, America.

The countries polled were the US, UK, Israel, India, South Korea, Indonesia, Nigeria, Russia, Mexico and Lebanon. The interviews were carried out in January 2004.
I suppose this is my experience but I have never met a person who has never prayed and many I meet are 'spiritual' in terms of 'yearning'.

I have group experiences that are so big and exploding that I can't tell you. Beautiful things.

I am so full-up with the need to pray. (see the last blog for one good 'filling up' reason)
Also the people.
They fill me up
- inspiring
- yearning
- praying

How about this ....... said to me just ..........

"I pray every night"

then a little later

"I cry every night in my room"

I asked:- "which do you do first - cry or pray?"
answer was ...........

"................both at the same time"

I cry and pray



This is from my friend Judeh who is doing the job I have done for so many years ....... leading a YMCA.
The trouble is - he has staff mebers arrested and held without a chance of anyone seeing.
Read this if you will and ................................................

 Samer Ibrahim Ali Al-Afandi (ID number 949795041) was arrested by Israeli soldiers on 11 February 2004 at Beit Sahour checkpoint while he was travelling from Dhaisha Refugee Camp to The East Jerusalem YMCA Vocational Training Center in Aqabat Jaber Refugee Camp near Jericho.

Samer is a student trainee, Metal Works, second year, at  The East Jerusalem YMCA Vocational Training Center in Aqabat Jaber Refugee Camp near Jericho.

The Israeli soldiers, at the checkpoint, requested Imad (another student accompanying Samer) for his ID and told him to step aside. Then they requested Samer's ID and after checking it they took him aside, placed him on the ground and folded his eyes. Afterwards they handed over Imad's ID.

His brother Basel informed me that Samer is in Askalan (Ashkelon) prison. Up till today Smer is under interrogation and no one can visit him.

We will update you with more information as soon as it becomes available.

We appeal to you to advocate for the Freedom of Samer.

Judeh N. Majaj
General Secretary
The East Jerusalem YMCA



Wednesday, February 25, 2004

........... being with people who have spent a life 'in care' is an experience.
Massive stories. Massive emotions. Massive damage with so many of these beautiful humans.

How are you today pip?

" I am incomplete - but working at it"

Got a couple of putdowns.
Usually they are statements which start with the word "you......".
...................... you are very very nice people ....................
It is a finger pointing word like 'should' and 'aught' .

I never use those two words on principle.
Also there are people who are warm and I want them to develop.
I yearn that they can be warm with others of differing natures and personalities.
To love the lovely is great.
To love the unlovely is a real challenge to all of us in our development. hmmmmm .....
I notice those I warm to, and others not as easy.
So principles kick in.I am off.
The fingers cannot keep up with the mind, the 500 words a minute mind ...... but I love
- lurve -
the music playing so close as I click to you.


Got a couple of putdowns.
Usually they are statements which start with the word "you......".
It is a finger pointing word like 'should' and 'aught' .

I never use those two words on principle. Also there are people who are warm and I want them to develop. I yearn that they can be warm with others of differing natures and personalities. To love the lovely is great. To love the unlovely is a real challenge to all of us in our development. hmmmmm .....I notice those I warm to, and others not as easy. So principles kick in.I am off. The fingers cannot keep up with the mind, but I love - lurve - the music playing so close as I type to you. -wish-you-wonder-


Anyone want three tickets for Zero 7 on 26th March?

........................ one way of communicating for me is dropping little postcards or other small bits of paper for people to find later.

Another is doing some little letter to all the residents in a hostel.
Telling them I exist.
Introducing myself to new people.
Dropping a little message of love.
Sprinkling stardust.

One young woman said, out of the blue and in public, "I cried when I read that"
Someone said to me today how, when they were away in detox, the note I sent was the only message received.
"I will never forget that ..........." was said and felt.

The man with the BMW
Every time I walk to the train I walk past a BMW and a man on his knees cleaning it. It already is clean as a .......... I would eat my dinner off it without hesitation.
As I walked on I thought of some alternatives for that man.
-An old man or lady around the corner who has a dirty car or garden.
-A few house visits to the special needs homes locally.
I rub my eye...............
-A volunteer hour or so driving the ymca minibus for the many children.
Ichy eye .....................
-Relating to humans more than car wax.
I must get this plank out of my eye as it is distracting me from all this clicking about someone else's life..............................

Maybe I will try to say something as I pass the man on his knees and see if a daily hello will lead to me knowing the person ...... real time.
Maybe 'I ' ....... spend too much on one thing and neglect others.
Maybe me doing things 100% could be dropped and do more at 75%.

I am feeling incomplete but I am working at it .........................

................ in the last day two adult humans have told me that they cannot read and write.
It is not easy for them to come to my group in case they get a paper in their hands and we in the group dicuss it.
Think of the other times in their lives when they avoid situations.
In the group I use the blob people and other pix/drawings as a means of easy reading. If you get people there it is then easy to read. Both good talkers and 'jack the lad' in the rest of their lives ................ incomplete humans ........ just like me.


Tuesday, February 24, 2004

I hate this ........ I have three tickets for ZERO7 on Friday 26th March in London and stinking cannot go.
Some of you will remember me telling you how delighted I was to even get them.

If you want them, the whole three that is, get me please.

............hey I will be talking to you soon .............
(my legs are stiff from dancing last night)
(I am tired but sleep is so boring)
(got a new mobile today and need a stinking training course on it)
(got a greenbelt week-end coming up and excited - john bell - friends - fine place - I am doing a 'road less travelled workshop - music - worship - stretch)

Sorry can't stop to talk right now but

(got some fab pix from the club last night)
(get me mactop back tomorrow a.m. - in a secret layby in east london - from the doctor tomek)
(I have too much bubble for this time of night and need to go to zzz)

cannot stop now ........ off to bed ............. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Monday, February 23, 2004

.............. this hit my glass screen yesterday
-totally cold
-totally warm
It was like a sprinkling of stardust on my soul.
Still is.
I don't get much feed back so I want to share with you, with permission of course.

Subject: Hello pip
Date: 22 February 2004 15:43:38 GMT

Dear pip!

Just wanted to drop you a little note to say thanks.
I went to Greenbelt for about 12 years as I was growing up, I'm now 26., and subconsciously I know that so much of what you communicated through the Rolling Magazine, the vibe, ethos, worldview and laughter was so helpful and has helped to reinforce so much of what God has put in me.

I'm a singer/ songwriter- and have been gently plugging away at the scene
for the last couple of years- in many ways steering clear of the 'Christian'
circuit- to relate with the audience I feel a deep love and passion for.

The ways that you embraced in your heart so many musicians, artists and
bands even now makes me cry. I'm sure you have times when the dark one
deafens your ear, and sows negativity. I look forward to the fact that one
day, thanks be to God you will see the impact that your life has had on
countless people.

I am one of those lives.

Bless you, you dear dear beautiful man.

.the great man Martyn Joseph won the Welsh 'best male singer' in the 2004 Awards last Friday and I am delighted for him.

I nicked some words off his website about the experience:-

".................. It felt good in a sense to feel something tangible was being recognised after so much hard work. I’m not much good at accepting praise but I cant deny it felt good and it will help raise the profile of the music I play.
It was a fairly noisy room to play too, but I was glad to get up and say and play something that might just have counted. It’s a strange balloon one enters into..the media and celebrity world..indifference is cool and almost expected, and yet the world cant get buy on that, you cant hold relationships together with that, you cant effect change with that and I’m not sure you can sustain a loyal audience with it either. It was good to be able to publicly thank a few folk who have helped so much during this twenty-year journey, and I look forward to doing it again in another twenty years.
This boy is not for turning and has a lot he wants to do and say, I’m still as hungry for it all as I have ever been and I’m looking forward to walking through all the new doors being opened.

Great to hook up with Mike Peters after not having seen him for a few years, and how well deserved his lifetime achievement award is. It was also nice to meet Steve Balsamo, who presented me with the award. He won it last year and is a great talent. I had some good friends with me on my table, along with Sian and my Mum and Dad..special. x .............................................. "

Just been a clubbing with the Sheilas (Joy and Ann)
and Janet and Charlie (Mr and Mrs pipdotcom-Webmaster)

A different sort of club night with Gilles Peterson my favorite DJ who was heading up the evening called 'journey into jazz'.

Real good stuff and a good mix of music - latin - dance - drum and bass - hip hop and all good to lay down your groove and wear away your trainers.
Must must must do it again soon.

Spent most of the week-end sorting out the debris from the gigs in past few weeks. Expenses, files, work of a dust up and bin it type.
My week ends will now be different until mid October because super league has began. Life will become relaxed quicker as Joan and me catch an odd live game and every game on tv.
Rugby League.
Beef on the bone is back.

Saturday, February 21, 2004

"We become fully conscious only of what are able to express to someone else.
We may already have had a certain inner intuition about it, but it must remain vague so long as it is unformulated"

Paul Tournier
from "The Meaning of Persons

That is why I do group work.
I used it in a book I published in 1991, the only one still available from pipdotcom.
Recommend an extended reread and reflection.


Friday, February 20, 2004

All sorts to say but bit tired at the end of this good run of working with beautiful humans. Going out to them. Telling and showing that they are beautiful. (80% of communication is non verbal ...... that is why God put all his love in a person and that person did it on the ground not just publish a book about it .... pausing and gasping for breath instead of a comma ....... and that is being flesh. There is NO alternative to flesh in the love work/mission)

Have talked with lots who are scarred humans. Some show it in-words and behaviour- some only in behaviour. I too have scars and aim to be, try to be open about that. I am becoming. I have not got there. I am incomplete. I am uncertain and want to be. I want to be a 'seems to me' not 'you should' type of person.

Some people, when with them and interacting, lighten my life. I feel myself coming more alive as I enjoy their communication and authentic-ness. I like to observe them and exchange shining eyes. Smiling eyes are a treat to engage with. I want to touch but don't. I want to hug but don't. (Those last two must come from them because I must always avoid oppression and self satisfaction.)

Others, I am frowning internally and biting my nails inside. I yearn for their balloon to be burst, that insecure balloon - that fear of being hurt balloon - that mask shaped balloon ............ but it is not me who can take that pin ...... the popping must come from the inside - out.
I want to scream and say ....... you can trust me. I will not throw your words, your expression, your foul language, your stumbling words ...... I will not throw them back in your face. I will not ridicule. Come on ...... love like you have never been hurt.

I am thinking of so many people now as I click for you and always my own need. It is different for you because you only see blank faces ....... or do you picture faces of people you know?

I am going to zzzzzz even though I have stax of buzzing thoughts ........... my dear blog friends ........... bless you .......... I met a man today with the name of BLESSING .............. tonight I send - as best as I can - blessings to you


Currently listening to 'one world' on R1 and can be 'listened again' anytime in the next seven days ...... about and the music from TROJEN the record label ...... young gifted and black ........
formed in 1968, Trojan Records quickly went on to dominate the Jamaican music scene in the UK until the mid-seventies, introducing millions to the sound of reggae throughout this period with innumerable releases, including numerous chart hits.
Now under the stewardship of Sanctuary Records, Trojan has become the world's leading vintage Jamaican music label, drawing on its vast archive to provide the source for a myriad compilations, highlighting genres as diverse as Ska and Dub, Rocksteady and Dancehall.
I like the talkie play style of the programme.


Thursday, February 19, 2004


Sunset is an angel weeping

Holding out a bloody sword

No matter how i squint I cannot

Make out what its pointing toward


Sometimes you feel like you've lived too long

Days drift slowly off the page....

You find yourself......

Pacing the cage.

(Bruce Cockburn 1996 - from The Charity of Night - Pacing the Cage)


Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Bucket of hope

We're just a drop in the bucket, and that's meaningless.
But we say,
'No, wait a minute.
If you have a bucket, those raindrops fill it up very fast.

Being a drop in the bucket is magnificent.'

The problem is we cannot see the bucket.
Our work is helping people see that there is a bucket.
There are all these people all over the world who are creating this bucket of hope.
And so our drops are incredibly significant.

Source:Sojourners "Hope's Edge," by Frances Moore Lappe. Found on the "Daily Dig" at:

I have feelings.
They are about the group and about myself. In fact they are about humans.
The artifacts around are significant but they don't generate many feelings in me. Humans do.

I have feelings.
Normally I am buzzing with the interactive blessings touching my soul. Right now I feel a sadness. It is not depression and anything serious, but it is a bit of a cloud draped over my soul.

I have feelings because;
1 I think I felt the group didn't work well.
2 the numbers were ok, even though a number left early and others drifted in. Normal!
3 Maybe the content/material was not what scratched them.
4 feel also that certain individuals were not ready for the group, even though they came.
5 The feelings I think, were ..... are a feeling of failure. I was not on top. I was not able to be the group leader I would like to be.
6 feelings also that certain individuals were not cooperating ....... but that is normal.
7 so maybe it was me and this process is confronting myself by this reflective process. yes it was me. Own it wilson. So I learn and I will step on. I will be motivated and do one more attempt at walking a million miles. Taking the next step ..... that is.

The heavenly guide will use my weaknesses and my strengths.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

ymca in the news and rightly so ......

Ex-hostage urges Mid-East peace
Former Beirut hostage Terry Waite has urged Israelis and Palestinians to work for peace and said he is not bitter about his time in captivity.
The Briton spoke on a visit to Beddawi refugee camp in northern Lebanon - part of his first trip back to the country since his 1992 release from captivity.

The Archbishop of Canterbury's former special envoy was held by the radical Islamic group Hezbollah for five years.

He has returned to Lebanon for the YMCA's Y-Care International scheme.

Many people have said to me, 'Are you not angry, bitter about your capture?'... I don't agree with what they did. But I am not bitter
Terry Waite
During his visit Mr Waite will meet young people who benefit from Y-Care - the development agency of the Young Men's Christian Association - and collect material for the organisation's 20th anniversary events.

He also plans to visit Gaza and east Jerusalem.

'A passion for peace'

Children at the camp greeted Mr Waite and wrapped a scarf in the Palestinian colours around his neck, AFP news agency reported.

"There is no reason at all that Israelis and Palestinians cannot live together. But both parties must be prepared to give each other a chance," Mr Waite said.

"Do not allow anger to destroy you. Maintain a passion for peace, and a vision for your children so that they may have the opportunity to live in peace and harmony with their neighbours."

Speaking about his years in captivity, Mr Waite said: "Many people have said to me, 'Are you not angry, bitter about your capture?'"

"I replied, 'I don't agree with what they did. But I am not bitter,'" he was quoted as saying by AFP.


Mr Waite's ordeal began in 1987 when he was seized as he attempted to negotiate the release of hostages on behalf of the Archbishop of Canterbury.

He spent most of his years in captivity in darkness, chained and in solitary confinement.

On Monday Mr Waite told the BBC he thought his trip would be interesting.

"Lebanon has changed dramatically since I was there. I have memories of a city in ruins, I gather it has been rebuilt."

Asked how he would feel about meeting the people who held him hostage, Mr Waite replied that he thought it was "highly unlikely".

"But I wouldn't mind meeting them. It would be very interesting to see where they are some years later."

Y care is a worthy charity for support
..................................... it is tough beyond words to walk into a group of people for the first time.
You don't have to be there.
You are full of nerves and doubt your acceptance.
You don't know names.
You don't know ............. it is a mine field BUT .............
if you have lived in a ymca hostel room for three or four weeks without getting out and mixing, like so many do, the furniture and the walls begin talking to you and then it is time ....... the pain of the unknown becomes less than that aloneness in that little room.

Had three brand new people in a group. All with differing ways to communicate. Often, as with all groups/meetings/training sessions with any type of people, you get the louder more (seemingly) confident, the quiet one and the gentle probing one.
Look beyond the behaviour to the soul the need I tell myself. There is a mask YES.
There is also the inner 'finger biting' whatever the mask.

We had the clear avoiding the issue person in our group.
Self revelation NOT.
The first round of questions delivered a dodging answer.
Level zilch communication.
I gently made the observation that this was a duck and a dive.
With 'seems to me' thrown in as non-directive words.
By the time we went around the circle there was the words coming into the centre of the group
"I lied Pip"
That made the group a whole lot better.
One person being authentic until it hurts.
One person 'owning' the reality.
One human 'becoming'.

Discussions roll on and it is beautiful to be here.

Thank you for clicking this way and giving me the honour ...................

you are beautiful ..........................................................................
Stranger, do not come one step nearer
Do not reach out towards me
We must not touch our hands
To join your loneliness and mine

Abide by the regulation:
No man shall approach a man
No woman shall approach a woman
Nor man, woman, nor woman, man
Our life depends on it

You wear a red scarf
I wear a blue cap
There can be nothing between us

If you ask me the time, I must turn my wrist
If I ask you the way, you must point

The rules hang from every lamppost
Above the basket of geraniums
They are nailed into the telephone poles
Though we scream to break the silence
Who would conjecture the universality of his sorrow
Who would confess at the streetcorner

Stranger, at the time of fire
You will pass through the smoke to save me
Stranger, at the time of flood
I will lift you from the water
At the time of the invader
We will gather together

Guard us from our intimacy
Now, as we stand adjacent on the endless belt
Conveying us into the future
Which, like the ancients’ heaven
Will justify the disaster of the hour
- Peter Goblen

So Bono and Brown are pushing for the world leaders to keep to their promise about wold aid.
Germany, Japan and USA won't do it an Oliver Letwin yesterday seems to be suggesting that the UK do cuts to this budget too.


Seems to me that for our own self interest that needs to be done ....... not that is the best motivation.
The trouble with trickle down - there is so little that trickles down!

We need to be strategic about it ..... seems to me.
We have a fair one with so many big rich guns not signing up.
Guns may be more significant than we think

Someone I know has a job description like this
" the spirit of the the Lord is upon me, to bring good news to the poor ......"

The rest is in Luke 4


my darling little mactop has gone into hospital
tomek specialist ward
operation sometime this week on her iphoto area

I met Dr Tomek in a lay-by outside UEL(university of east london) where he is starting his Phd in mac/web/pip/mactop/computer studies. It was there, between the sobs, that I handed over her for pre-op examination. She will be under his anesthetic for one week until we meet again on the same double yellow lines to reconnect with her loved one.

I will miss the late night wi-fi cuddles on the settee.
I will miss the sharing I do with her following my intense group work.
I will miss the instant reflective blogging we do together.
I will miss the solid feel I experience as she snugs into my backpack.
How she jumps into action to show her full screen slide shows to admirers.
How she kisses all the pix from my camera at a moments notice, and keeps them safe.


Conservative Party Financial Policy
so sad
did you read the body language on Newsnight tonight
Letwyn ...... his face so stiff
the young woman from the other side, so articulate and fresh?

The war was is was is wrong

the mistake error misguided horror outcome
will not make me a Tory boy


Monday, February 16, 2004

"you are very very nice people"

hello ....... coming back on line here ....... bit more myself and myself needs to catch up with myself coz I am always moving so I need to catch up with myself ..... if you know what I mean?

hows this quote ..... just in from one of my readers and quote researchers who lives on Guernsey ....... sounds great and grand that lad it does.

I find myself absorbed and lifted by Johnny Cash at present, as I read this whilst listening to 'unchained' I cried. Think you might like it too.

'My mother used to say, "God has his hand on you. Never ignore "the gift." I never knew what she meant by the gift, until I felt the gift leave me. When the gift comes back, it's so sweet. I think sometimes we make "contact" if we leave our spiritual ears open. An employee and faithful friend of mine, Armando Bisceglia, was dying of a terminal disease while I was having these sessions. We knew the end was very close for him. We recorded a song, then I sang it one more time. Just as I finished, June came in the studio and told me, "Armando just died." The song I was singing was "Unchained." Take this weight from me. Let my spirit be. Unchained.'

Johnny Cash, 1996

thanx Paul ....................................................................

Sunday, February 15, 2004

"You are very very nice people"
............ prog available to listen to for next 5 days only

norwegian music fab
love these norwegian voices too

john davies
a friend
a fellow road less traveller
a greenbelter (of course)
a blogger
a round ball man
a great man
a creative man
a man looking to the creator

is leaving his job right now
from one area of Liverpool need
to another area of Liverpool need
from curate to vicar

I would loved to have been with you John
now and at your welcome service

you can journey with him if you click his blog, one of the best there is.

The road less traveled

If the only tool we have is a hammer

We see every problem as a nail.


Saturday, February 14, 2004

I have 'garage band' on my mactop
this is a mixing desk where you can make music.
I have made my first 10 track tune. Dance track of course.
I am keen to find out how to us it and be creative.
At the moment I have not a clue. Just a playing

I have a problem.
I cannot open my iPhoto which is the mac digital pix system.
I have about 100 pix from my conference this week and cannot send them out to the beautifuls.
feelings ........................... frustrated.

Happy Valentines Day
if this is the first for you ......... worry not. It is just a commercial day but at the same time affirmative. Do you know anyone who will need a little love from the heart?

I feel not ok really, with a temperature. Well, I suppose I would be dead without one!


"you are very very nice people"

Friday, February 13, 2004

...........I tape thursdays/midnight radio one as third in line behind my Gilles and Tong. One world is the show.
This week I am again excited by the stuff out of Norway .......
unkissed is Norway's premiere House night specialising in quirky off the wall sounds - Sunkissed LIVE which you'll hear on One World is a unique more extreme off shoot of the club night showcasing some of the most off the wall and experimental electronica all live .

After massive success this is the third year it has happened at Club Blore in Oslo and One World were out there again this year to see what was going down. Make sure you check out the show and you'll hear sounds from Kim Hiorthoy, (a big favorite) Nils Petter Molvaer, (a bigger favorite and new album coming) Bugge Wesseltoft, Kaller Magnus and Daniel and Etmo and Olivier. That's a serious collection of musicians there!

You can hear this again via the BBC website.

Good to get the rugby league season under way tonight and a good display of skills too. Now I look forward to the Saints getting their kit on and doing their unsaintly stuff.

today has been strange
- have been trying to do catch up after a busy period
- trying to recover from my colbd
- fix my laptop which has got a bug in the iphoto very recently. It means I cannot get access to my 100 pix from my conference and my massive collection from my work and used in my work. At the moment I cannot fixit and Tomek my friend and macmaster says he cannot deal with it without getting hands on. I dread the loss of the pix.
- get a life

the rugby helped and the planned free time this w/e will too.
A more sane human will blog come Sunday evening.

In the mean time I want to say:-

"you are very very nice people"

......... this me mate Paul who is writing this and I love it and share it with you

Refreshing the Irritation – The Life and Legacy of Mike Yaconelli

Theological band aids are fast becoming the bane of my life, I loath them with a passion. What am I ranting about? Well, the kind of nonsense that for too long now I have heard from the archaic halls of Christendom; that if you come to Jesus everything in life will be alright. Nothing I believe could be further from the truth. Last year my spiritual mentor and dear friend Mike Yaconelli was killed in a car wreck. Mike was one of those people who filled other people’s lives with big moments. If you were ever in his life once, even only for a short moment, you were always in it. He had this incredible gift of making even a fleeting moment of connection feel like a life time of friendship. I lost count how many cigars we smoked together. I lost count of how many bottles of his favourite chardonnay we drank together. But I never lost count of how many times we cried together, and I say that with good reason.

Mike never believed in covering up cracks. Rather he believed in redeeming those landscapes of brokenness and terrifying loneliness and difficulty that we often find ourselves traversing. He fought hard to give back to the little people of this world that which this world had taken so remorselessly from them. Mike said of himself, ‘I want to be a good person. I don’t want to fail. I want to learn from my mistakes, rid myself of distractions, and run into the arms of Jesus. Most of the time, however, I feel like I am running away from Jesus into the arms of my own clutteredness. I want desperately to know God better. I want to be consistent. Right now the only consistency in my life is my inconsistency. Who I want to be and who I am are not very close together. I am not doing well at the living-a-consistent-life thing.’

Thank God (and I mean that literally) for a heavyweight of faith to be so engagingly honest. To actually come out and verbalise what most of us think every day of the week and twice on Sunday’s. Mike often used to say that, ‘You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you odd.’ This empathetic take on the Christian faith allowed anyone who felt odd or slightly misplaced, to feel very much at home. He had a gift for making the way of faith seem possible for amateurs. I remember him saying that Christianity has ‘a tradition of messy spirituality. Messy prophets, messy kings, messy disciples, messy apostles, from God’s people getting in one mess after another in the Old Testament to most of the New Testament’s being written to straighten out messes in the church, the Bible presents a glorious story of a very messy faith.’ When I asked him what he thought that meant for the likes of you and me, he replied, with a wealth of mischief and wonder in his eyes: ‘Sounds like you and I are in good company.’

Mike persistently refused to accept the intolerable and continued to the last to dream that the impossible was actually in some mystical way possible. He invited us all to dwell in the house of freedom, and to throw open all the doors and windows, and in doing so his life embodied how it is possible to be free, to be fully human and fully alive. Always a big believer that no matter how messy our lives seemed, regardless of how incomplete we were, Jesus was not discouraged by our humanity; in fact it was the very thing that drew us closer still to his indiscriminate love.

I meet too many people who find church more a prisoner of rather than a liberator of culture. Greenbelt Trustee and dear friend of Mike, Martin Wroe, prudently observed that Yac was ‘a cultural rather than political radical.’ For me he offered much more than a cultural/theological soundbite. With Mike Yaconelli theory became practice, and truth took on a life of its own. I have a feeling that’s all God really asks of us. I remember the last time we saw each other, he told me to ‘refresh the irritation.’ I asked what he meant. He told me to go ‘figure it out.’ I didn’t understand at the time…I think now I do. Why do I write this? Well, I miss my friend. I suspect many of us do. I miss so many things, but what I miss more than I can explain is that he was one of the few people in my life, who just by his presence convinced me more than ever that Jesus was alive and well in this world. As Steve Stockman said in similar circumstances 6 years ago when we lost Rich, ‘Our hearts are feebly attempting to temper it. We lost so much more than skin and bone…you are the world as I best remember it.’ Mike Yaconelli, a man who filled my life with big moments…and who, even now, causes me to refresh the irritation.

© Paul Chambers
here the word of Gilles Peterson himself ...... a new album cometh ........

"I'm really pleased with this one (Worldwide Vol.4) "

Out in April will be Worldwide Vol.4 which on this occasion will feature strictly exclusive tunes - featured artists: Cinematic Orchestra, Jazzanova, Outlines (aka Irfane), Seiji, Umod, New Sector Movements, Peven Everett, 2b04, Matthew Herbert w/Rosheen Murphy, Nicola Conte, Ty, Build an Ark, Zero 7, Gotan Project, Roy Ayers and Eric Roberson (aka Ayro). I'm really pleased with this one - makes me feel like an A&R man again! Out in May comes Impressed Vol. 2 with a bunch more UK jazz rarities!!

I've also just started working on a Brazilian mix for Trama/Sambaloco which will feature one CD of old school (Brazilica style) and one CD of fresh newness from the likes Bruno E and Drumagik - should be out in June. On the subject of the Talkin Loud retrospective just out, I need to tell you that I had nothing to do with it as it was conceived by Universal Special Projects dept - however all things considered I think its a pretty well put together selection compiled by Johnny Chandler.

Record Box
Currently feeling the following musics...
1. 'Blue Note Revisited' - Various (Blue Note)
2. 'The College Dropout' - Kanye West (Roc-a-Fella)
3. 'Life After That' - Airto (Nevada) 4. '4 Y V' - Marc De Clive Lowe (Test)
5. 'Intuit' - Intuit (Compost)
6. 'Hola Que Tal' - Los Cabrones (Equatorial)
7. 'Ever After' - Rasmus Faber (Farplane)
8. 'Busted Trees' - Directions (Diaspora)
9. 'All the Way' - Strange Fruit Project (Kajmere)
10. 'Various Cuts' - Bembe Segue (Test)
11. 'Film'ing' - Bugge Wessletoft (Jazzland)


"You are very very nice people"

Some will recognize that from a TV ad ............... I love the body language conflict.
- Aggressive body language
- Affirmative words
Very difficult way to act on film I do believe.

"I will pay you double ........... You are very very nice people"


Thursday, February 12, 2004

......... this another bit of me which I clicked onto the ibook at the conference during the week .........................

Feel expectant. Feel nervy in an exhilarating way. 
Feel my nose starting to leak. 
Just before bed last night, I felt that 'I have a cold coming' feeling.
Funny is, I don't believe in them so I have difficulty coming to terms with a dripping snout. 

That is the last credit this drip will have on my blog.

Just heard some sad, so sad, news. 
Margaret Hillyer has died. 
She died on Thursday following years of battle with e the big c. 
David and Margaret have been friends since they worked with us when we were in Canning Town - East London. 
The did the sailing out in Tollesbury and we made them a concrete boat. 
A rescue concrete boat. 
We also made a 40 foot multi berth boat called Cockney Spirit. 
It took kids, from tough inner city places, into experiences of adventure and development. 
I was the chairman of the charity until we eventually sold it to pay the hole hole in our financing.
Margaret was a key person in our relationship with Fellowship Afloat.

Into your hands .............. a beautiful person of faith ........... over to you God.


.did you hear about the man with a steaming cold?

He never did finish his french onion soup!

Just been in the hands of Martyn Joseph

It is Tuesday offline. I am blogging to post later ...... this week that is.
I can only blog a FEW WORDS ABOUT THE DAY. Those caps indicate my tiredness and my thick stubby fingers hitting the wrong keys.
So I blog the tips of the days experience. Not the whole. Sometimes I blog my low life too so I am honest.

Martyn came to the conference I have helped to pull together and .......Martyn performed and he tottered on the edge of emotion and level five feelings which touched my soul. It did also for others. It went deep into people. Through the mind, emotion, spirit, soul, rhythm ........ every sense was stretched. He talked and sung his heart out. He subjected himself to the depth of questions from me.
All communicated the man.
The faith.
The passion.
The drive .....................

He is truly a beautiful human.
I love him.


p.s. ..... I pause to wipe drip off the end of my nose.


Tuesday, February 10, 2004

gotta big gig next three days

will aim to blog
will have stax to say- reflect

bit nervous

but that is good

you are


I have got scars

I have been damaged in my life

they are not hurting now

but they are there

I have an upstairs

I have a downstairs

the up ........ you can see

the down ..... is not on show

God sees and knows the downstairs too, and thinks I am ok.
Hope you do too.


Monday, February 09, 2004

"In a time of crisis, uncertainty, and policy debate, one would think that Christians in the United States would agree: When in doubt, we should support our leader and remain loyal to our nation. Our leader, of course, is Jesus Christ. Our nation, of course, is the people called church, spread around the globe."

- Gerald Schlabach, We Pledge Allegiance...

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Uyani persson ebuku.

Just been to church and Joan and me had a Costa coffee with Mr Singh.
fantabulus. Wonderful conversations.

I was then just dropping some bottles in the bank in the Brewery, to make sure you get this - the Romford Brewery is now a big shopping complex and car park and ideal for church parking and bottle banking.

Then I heard "Ebuku" and turned around to see Hassan my friend who was a resident at the ymca and now lives in one of the ymca town centre flats.
I reply in Albanian "Uyani persson ebuku" and he introduces me to Lola "this is my wife" very proudly. She too is Albanian speaking from Kosava like Hassan. So I repeat my only Albanian to her "Uyani persson ebuku" and she smiles and, honestly, she understands.
I tell them about our Church and the coffee with Mr Singh and he wants to come, so we share the k.o. time ........ 10 a.m. Sundays.
Fantastic. Building relationships is never lost. A bump into them is beautiful and precious .

( uyani persson ebuku = you are a beautiful human person)

Saturday, February 07, 2004

Listening to Tom Waits and preparing for my sessions next week. All new steps into unknown zones. I need to get my context well sussed. Objects well clear in my soul. Various options to call on as I process the beautiful humans who will be present.

Coldplay have just come on the iPod mix ....."we live in a beautiful world ......"
I like the words and believe ....... I pause and think deep ...... feel deeply.

Mariah McKee has just taken to the podwaves ........ "sweetest child" ....... I once saw her in concert and so beautiful ...............

All this ends the day well.
Busy week.
Tomorrow we go out for a Polish.

I look forward to life and sleep comes with regret ..... it is rather boring.
Thanx for joining me here.

Hope you can live to love?

I did it again yesterday.

I once was traveling through Bulgaria on a train fro Sophia the Capital to Russe on the border of Romania. Well ....... the border was the Danube. If I had slept on longer in the night train I would have ended up in Istanbul!
It was a ymca support group, working with the Bulgarians to encourage their development an re-emerging from under the cloud of Communism.
On the return trip back to Sophia it was yet another sleepless night train.
When I eventually returned to the crappie airport I immediately departed in the departure lounge. I departed into sleep. Knackered.
I suddenly woke myself with the utterance of the loudest of pig like snorts to the amusement of the passengers to be, and my own sleepy embarrassment.

I did it again yesterday as my train pulled in at London Waterloo.

Friday, February 06, 2004

the tops are off in the sun on 'I'm a celeb .....'
jordon with a big pink bra
the sun newspaper and other low life obsessed mags will splash it asap
mountains in Australia !

so I click and listen to radio and watch celeb
me trying to catch up with my inbox after a busy week.
I think you know what I do.

have got emails from
old school mate
a blob tree searcher
advisor on 'god is a DJ'
loads about the conference next week
terrible spam getting thru the mac filter

still well behind I fear ......... but I am tired but inspired.
My feelings are 'a glass half full'
My feelings are ........'I like the DJ'
My feelings are ........' I like life on the dance floor'
I want to get my ass on the dance floor
hmmmmm I am getting worried that I have returned to Pink again

and .......................... missing our daughters ...... pipdaddy

Thursday, February 05, 2004

Just to share my personal mission statement. I know it is a risk to share but, I trust.

Me - Pip Wilson - Mission Statement

-I will be an effective lover.

-I will live to love -

-modelled on my developing commitment, understanding and faith in God.

-I will continue to believe, behave, and affirm that all individual persons are unique, special and valuable - beautiful human persons. I will demonstrate that, verbalise that.

-I will live to love myself, family, friends, colleagues and active socially and cosmically.


my iPod is dropped in the dock which updates it from the new itunes on iMac
this a.m. it just didn't and it has been done before
it means I have to pull the pod from the stand when it is still sayin 'do not remove'

sometimes it does. sometimes not.
Any poddies who can advise?

I have gilles downloaded onto imac but it wont cross over.
Jonny Rotten can move out ........ but my radio recording can't

not techies ..... forgive my rant


David Beckham has bought Spurs

He heard Brooklyn say he wanted a cowboy outfit!

.............. so much to express ............ I have been busy and neglected my reflection time clicking ..... usually I click for you too. I cannot always click things about the people I work with ...... some is too sensitive and I would betray confidence and must never do dat.

Just got back from a BRMC secret gig at the Garage in London North. I like the dark seedy vibe and it is so good to be in a Rock club. Rock and guitar stuff is not my favorite stuff now -a-days. I am more of a dance leaning fanatic. The best for me is the fused, the fused of everything that exists in eternal-music-life. But I liked seeing BRMC with Dave Harris as me-mate. I like to feel my water bottle vibrate with the bass rocketing at me. We need em at Greenbelt. Dan their manager who I had planned to meet there, pulled out. But great to see Martin Wez Simon and Ben all rocking it.

As usual The lead singer of 'The Call' Michael Been, one of my all time favorite bands (Let the Day Begin and other unique songs), was working the sound desk for his son and mates. The last time I saw him was at the Brixton Academy as we bopped to Primal Scream

Feel good
and tired
but sleepless.
Buzzing too much.
Listening to Gilles as I click.
Not even got "I'm a celeb" on TV ...... even with the sound down!

I love going out for 'an Indian'
On Saturday Joan and me are going out for 'a Polish'

Need lots of preparation time in the next four days and it does not exist ........ other than the night shift. Big week next week. I work very informally but need lots of prep time.

If I have not got back to your email ............ will be doing asap.
In the meantime .........
take a deep breath
deep and slow
feel the cooler air draw into your nostrils on it's way to the lungs
feel the warmth in the nostrils as it is exhaled.
cooler in
warmer out
and thank God for the life you live and breathe
Breathe on me breath of God
fill me with life brand new .............

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

really excited about my new home page
it moves
it draws you in
I love it love it

....... the recent blog-er-di-bla was ended abruptly ........( see below if you missed the hiccup ) I was in the middle of Kelis/Tasty her new album.
ipoding it for two hours of one album is great but ........... I always believe I have to hear it in the car and the home stereo a couple of times as well before I can reach a decision on its value to my soul.

I like it. The bass touches my soul.
Love the fusion of Rock and rap as I did when run dmc blew me away with their 'walk this way' ........ it blew holes in walls of all that had gone before it seems to me.
It was a pleasure to listen to Kelis for a long journey and loved it full on and with those plugs rooted deep in my ears.
The 'milkshake' current single is a bit 'shake your booty' ...... justin/janet like if you know what I mean. The rest of the album is rudyrudy but good funk and a drive that I like so far.

The contrast with the new zero 7 when it gets delivered, will be great- BUT so are my moods and rhythms of life.

if god is the DJ
life is the dance floor
love is the rhythm
you are the music

you get what you are given
it's all how you use it

get you ass on the dance floor

from the new PINK single which I bought today .... hey hey


"I think religion is the thing, you know, when-- when God, like Elvis, has left the building, you get religion. But when God is in the house, you get something else."

Bono from U2

What keeps you awake?

Good discussion item and a question out of my 450 book of questions ..... yet to be published.

The things that keep us awake, did you have a go at that?, are sometimes the things we bury alive.
Buried alive!!

These things are not buried dead.
They are alive inside us.
These things are buried alive and they stay alive and hurt
drain emotional energy
active inside

These little packages ..... or bigger, are like parcels all wrapped up with string and selotape. They are buried because they are uncomfortable to live with - handle - manage.
They all need to be pulled out and opened up. Examined and dealt with. Then they can be buried dead. Not inside us alive.

love like you have never been hurt

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

this weeks theme
'buried alive'

paste that in or maybe you won't want to .......................

when we hold things inside us ..... unresolved

we do not solve the problem we just leave it


Then it is alive and active inside us and it comes to no good and we come to NO good


an example ...........................

more to come from mesoul .................... bhp

KELIS ...................... heard the album x 2 on the train today.
I believe I cannot make my mind up about a cd until I have
Fantastic article in the Guardian Today about the brain
it must be on their website if you are interested.

Joy is in S Africa in da Sun
Ann is inHong Kong and meeting level5 Annabel who
in hong kong and Macau

On the 15th of this month Ann has her New York Programme launching the new series of holiday programmes on ITV 3. If you see any advance press or reviews, let me know as she will miss it with being away. It is good she has the first show. Watch it and boost the viewing figures ....... please

paul field dot com has put a link from his website to mine.
love it and appreciate
he is a great man
and artiste.

loving to watch I'm a celeb ..........
not to watch the bugs and stuff ...... that gets a turnover
but love the people watching and it stays on till 2am as I do my ewaves to you.



............. well get a stinking mac
that is one of the beautiful things about the mac

no doom and gllom


Monday, February 02, 2004

First new album of the year came today.
Bit racey.
Kelis ........ it is called 'Tasty'
thrashed today and will need to do more on the ipod thru London tomorrow.
She is well served by NERD/The Neptunes. They are the music producers of our age - seems to me.

Got two more on the way
zero 7 ............ the new single is really good (Home) and I have great expectations of the album.

A new Gilles Peterson which is stuck in the delivery chain of of play dot com

Been so busy I feel a bit bitty and disjointed......... and my blogs show it methinks.

I feel happy.
I keep saying how I feel ...... think it helps me and believe it is good for us all.

"work like you don't need the money
dance like no-one is watching
sing like no-one is listening
love like you have never been hurt"

Nice new home page on my website
thanx to webcharliemaster
new gallery with some pix of you?
some other stuff to entertain and ......... it is all about becoming.

Bit + more frustrated that I have posted on my blog and it has just taken over 24 hours for them to become publicly available. I don't like it ....... I like it fresh ..... even if only I read it.

I have feelings.
They are about the group and about myself. In fact they are about humans.
The artifacts around are significant but they don't generate many feelings in me. Humans do.

I have feelings.
Normally I am buzzing with the interactive blessings touching my soul. Right now I feel a deep sadness. It is not depression and anything serious, but it is a bit of a cloud draped over my soul.

I have feelings because;
1 I think I felt the group didn't work well.
2 the numbers were ok, even though a number left early and others drifted in. Normal!
3 Maybe the content/material was not what scratched them.
4 feel also that certain individuals were not ready for the group, even though they came.
5 The feelings I think, were ..... are a feeling of failure. I was not on top. I was not able to be the group leader I would like to be.
6 feelings also that certain individuals were not cooperating ....... but that is normal.
7 so maybe it was me and this process is confronting myself by this reflective process. yes it was me. Own it wilson. So I learn and I will step on. I will be motivated and do one more attempt at walking a million miles. Taking the next step ..... that is.

The eternal lover will use my weaknesses and my strengths but there is more to dig out ...

testing ..... I posted twice yesterday and they are not here at 10.29 Monday yet??
Have been 'up north' for the week-end.

Leading a Training event on Saturday in Manchester.. Was really good for them, they kindly expressed, and I loved the vibe and refreshing of the soul.

Drove past
189 broad oak road St Helens.
That was the house joan and bought and we lived in it from wedding day for exactly one year ....... only. A year to the day.
God had wiggled his little finger for the first move from home town. The destination was Mobberley in Cheshire. An Approved School for young offenders from Manchester.
Since then, forty years later - we have lived in 'on-the-job' housing ......... five projects in five communities and five million vivid experiences with zillions of beautiful humans.

We drove past the dark lane where we had our first kiss!

Visited the street where I was born and ................ so it was a memory lane gig too.

Midst that was the call I blogged about below in my most recent words.
Paul Wilson, I understand - is now off the critical list following the removal of a blood clot which was outside the brain. There is concern about possible damage to the brain and the spinal cord.
This has been a shock at a distance. It must have been total dread in close up. Pray on please ..................

Sunday, February 01, 2004

Just back from ........ will tell you later...........
BUT yesterday as I was setting up to lead a course in Manchester and received a call that Paul Wilson, friend and Greenbelt Board member was in serious condition in hospital following a road accident involving a bus.. He has had a brain operation and is critical.
He has two small children.
Pray for Rachel and Paul and the two children and all in distress around them ..........
If you you pray
can you pray?