Tuesday, April 30, 2019

"Two shots of HAPPY - One shot of SAD" - Becoming questions ...... and wondrous answers .......

I ask
Becoming Questions
and the answers I received
like flowers
opening up
to the sun

I ask a question and the generous, 
open book, becoming humans who are able -
have offered their answer to my question.

This one - it's about the lyrics of a song 
written by U2 for Frank Sinatra
but he died before he could record it.

It is called
“Two shots of happy - one shot of sad.”
Check it out on YouTube.

Some powerful beautiful soul-searching responses here.
Humans scraping their own soul for their becoming.
Thank you so much everyone for sharing your unique self.
Everyone else - you are welcome to join us in BECOMING
as soon as you are able - it certainly is an experience -
the composing and the reading of others.

I start with my own::

Here are my Two shots of happy, one shop of sad. 
Like you I guess we have lots Sad/Happy in or short or longer life. 
So my Happy x 2 and Sad x 1 - 
I will choose my first 
HAPPY when I was asked to be a leader when as a 15 year old. 
Undeservingly be I was a disruptive member of a youth group. 
I was valued, accepted, encouraged and affirmed. 
SAD - I never knew my Dad who died in his early 50’s when I was about 16/17. 
I knew and felt his volcanic temper. 
His leather belt left marks on all four sons. 
I never got to know him - 
never had a conversation I can remember. 
HAPPY - I will choose one more recent experience but not choosing the many I had & have with our beautiful family including our two Granddaughters (Love em). 
I have visited Armenia x3 working with young people. The second visit changed my life because the experience convinced me to leave my job, as leader of the Romford YMCA community, and go freelance working with groups & teams Nationwide and Worldwide.
I don't believe in sacrificing freedom for security. 
Growth does not reside in a place called comfortable 
so Happy is always a place of stretch and challenge for me.

Here we go with a batch of BHP's 
opening their live to us::

My two shots of happiness and my one sad shot are:. 
my first shot was when  i had a vision to put on a summer program in feltham, where i worked with young people. i wanted staging, marques, different performances, bouncy castle, workshops. and i achieved it attracting over 500 young people and not breaking my budget. it was amazing to see it go from an idea on a piece of paper to reality. it was great seeing so many young people enjoying themselves. 
my sad shot was being treated badly by the human resources and senior management at hounslow council. being suspended due to one local Councillor being trouble. it was hard not seeing it coming, giving 9 years of great joy and tough love to so many young people. being unable to talk to colleagues and seeing so much hard work just being left. no follow up or just ignored. i built up such rapport with the community, young people, schools,police, young offenders,. it was just soul destroying that they never built upon what i had worked hard to achieve. it still pains me just to see the lack of care or even professionalism being done.
my second shot being a venue manager at greenbelt when it was at cheltenham.  i ran the parade circle which hosted a large video screen and a small stage. it hosted the opening ceremony. i was happy with a team of technical guys running everything. fighting to get electricity to the small stage or no opening ceremony. being able to compare and support the different speakers as well as having responsibility for so many people using the venue. 
my sad shot was being treated badly by the human resources and senior management at hounslow council. being suspended due to one local Councillor being trouble. it was hard not seeing it coming, giving 9 years of great joy and tough love to so many young people. being unable to talk to colleagues and seeing so much hard work just being left. no follow up or just ignored. i built up such rapport with the community, young people, schools,police, young offenders,. it was just soul destroying that they never built upon what i had worked hard to achieve. it still pains me just to see the lack of care or even professionalism being done.

Shot of Happy - One memory imprinted in my mind was when my mum had first opened up to me at the age of 9; when she had no one else to turn to. I listened, although I was somewhat confused and felt like I had no advice to offer. However me being there listening was enough to heal her pain. Since then, my strength has become dependant on whether or not she is alright. Till this day, she is my rock and I would be a different person, mentally and physically without her. 
Shot of Sad - I would cry myself to sleep in corners of my room, not being able to differentiate between what was real and what was not.  Ultimately I would lose control of my mind and I would keep fighting with myself to save the small fragments of sanity buried deep within my heart. 
Shot of Happy - Something I am very blessed as a human being to experience - two living Gurus in my lifetime. One who's love runs through my veins and who I speak to every evening even though he is no longer part of this world. And one who I am fortunate to see in physical form and whom I take blessings from indirectly, from far. I am not worthy to be near them. 

My first shot of HAPPY would be the amazing friends I have, I wouldn’t be where I am today if friends had not believed in me, encouraged me, and cheered me on!
My shot of SAD would be living with the effects of abuse. I missed out on key areas of my emotional development and therefore have had to do a lot of the developing most people do when they are younger, as an adult. It has lead me to fear intimate relationships, and is a large contribution to why I have been single all my adult life.
My second shot of HAPPY would definitely be the opportunities I have had to study in recent years, to learn ways of helping people and why they work. I have been privileged to put these into practice and watch others grow, develop and move on with their lives.

Happy shot 1 - Watching my 12 year old son win last years football tournament and was player of the tournament
Happy shot 2 - being told by my eldest son that he loved me and forgave me for my rage
Sad shot - the aftermath of one of my rage attacks after I smashed my phone to bits and scared everyone in my family 
Probably more shame than sadness but I was sad as well
No name 

HAPPY - when I won the Jack Petchey Foundation Leaders Award 2015 for best teacher. It meant a lot to me because I was voted by the pupils of my school. As a young person, teaching would not be a job I would have done; I was the quiet one who sits at the back of the class and just gets on with work. To stand in front of people was my biggest nightmare (kind of still is). I am a typical introvert and therefore to win an award like this gave me some validation and confidence as it is a job that requires you to be extrovert.
SAD - this year I was hurt very badly. I cannot go into details but my dignity, reputation and everything I stand for was questioned. This made me very sad. 
HAPPY - sitting with certain pupils I teach talking about deep, spiritual and powerful matters for hours. These meaningful conversations make me happy and gives me hope for the future.

Happy when I see children smiling, enjoying life and having fun. I enjoy their company and love to see the world through their eyes. Children have innate spiritually and we can understand more of God’s wonderful world by listening to them and watching them play. 
Sad (and angry) when children are subjected to abuse of any kind. It destroys their joy, their innate spirituality and love of life can, all of which will get buried under the dirt and rubble of those who hurt and damaged their lives. Among a group of five people who tried for over 12 years to protect three vulnerable children I learned a great deal. No one listened; they were professionals; they knew best. One child is re-enacting his abuse in the community; one child, with learning difficulties, forced to stay with his abuser and became a very, very angry & now lost little one. One finally released from his horror to live with his loving & affirming parent. I still cry for lost little ones. I Pray & battle with whoever for terror-filled children to be released from their horror. Thank God that my darling dad “rescued” me from abuse & helped me to be a child again. 
Happy when seeing birds fly, a blue sky, sun, autumn colours, rainfall, rainbows, stars and planets, wild flowers, bees, butterflies, frogs. One evening my as my hubby was going to work a robin flew into the car window. My Steve rushed in very upset: “I think I’ve killed a robin?” So I went out to find Mr Robin with blood on his beak. Still alive, so I gently picked him up and took him indoors, put him in a box with soft stuff  & water. Turned out the lights and left him to recover. Later I went to see how he was doing and he was flying around the kitchen! Opened front door, but he went everywhere but outside, on the sofa, on the TV. Steve said: “I can’t see him, where’s he gone?” “On my head!” So I walked outside with him on my head and he just sat there looking all around for a few minutes while I was getting so cold. “Seen enough Mr Robin? Time to go.” And off he went. Beautiful happy aye?
Sad can turn into happy if we use our sad feelings and experiences to help others: wells from which we can draw. The best places of learning is in valleys where sad can takes us. 

Happy - spending the 6 week summer holidays with my grandparents in Newquay - gave me independence and time away from stepfather. At 13 I got given my first surf board, spent everyday walking barefoot to the beach in my shorts to practice - independence, time out & fun!
Sad - realising at 15 I needed to move out, for safety and family stability, turning to YMCA in my need for help. First night in my room, bag of clothes (& the surfboard!) wondering where my life was going.
Happy - kissing my children every evening at bedtime, knowing I am loved and returning that love. Then curling up next to wife (while she ignores me playing games on her phone) knowing all is well and good in life & that I've made it (with a bit of help)πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘
Jon C

I find most of life tends to fall into this pattern. It causes me to suspend my pleasure at times as I don't wish to have a subsequent contrasting anti-climax. I find living in this emotionally middle zone, generally positive, enables me to cope with the negatives more easily. Having said that, I do let myself go quite often!
Recently I was on holiday in Japan, visiting my daughter, enjoying the intimacy of a new unknown culture. I get a lot from such experiences. Discovering a new sculptor in the middle of a tiny village was amazing. Realising that in the midst of this Buddhist culture, I had unearthed a creative Christian artist was even more exciting. The pleasure was tempered by the sadness that his art had come out of a spinal injury which brought much of his working life to a premature end.

Happy:: Being a massive roller coaster freak, I remember when I first went to Florida, the excitement and feelings bubbling over that I felt as me and my sister went on ride after ride.  She was 61 and I was 51. We called ourselves the oldest swingers in town. 
Sad:: When my soul mate, my mum had a massive haemorrhage at home with just the two if us here, that feeling and terrible experience will never leave me. I miss her so much. 

1st shot of happy: When my daughter was born in 2002! I got the chance to accompany my wife at the birth of our daughter. There where complications at the childbirth with my daughters heartbeat.
So the doctors quickly decided to do a Caesarean section. All went well with my daughter and my wife. I remember the moment when I held my daughter in my arms for the first time.
Why did I choose this one? Because it was the happiest day of my life till then.
Shot of sad: I remember the death of my father, when he was 55.  I was 15. He got cancer and suffered about a year before he died. I had a very good relationship with him. He taught me to love nature and showed a lot of emotional warmth for me.
Why did I choose this one? Because it was a fundamental experience with many consequences for my life.
2nd shot of happy: I remember the woman who gave me the feeling of being loved unconditionally for the first time in my life. Suddenly all of my inner pain and anxiety vanished in a moment. 
Why did I chose this one? Because this feeling was unique in my entire life and it still gives me power.

One shot of happy: 
Finally being able to make some choices and be responsible for my own decisions, my own life. Discovering exactly what college feels like on three hours sleep! Exploring frozen fish-in-sauce and instant potato. Using most of that week's money on a mega size box of cornflakes, but not budgeting for milk. Queuing for black and white, Danish, natural history films and just knowing that to be cool. Folk concerts in the corn exchange, art exhibitions in the town hall. Picnics on roundabouts and strange meetings in tents. Laughing with friends and sewing free carpet squares together to make my own carpet. Falling asleep in buttercups at our local park and receiving a postal order every week to cover rent and food. Young, free and for the most part very happy indeed.
One shot of sad:
After what had seemed like a lifetime, picking up the shattered pieces and attempting to live again. Failed to be a sensible role model to my children. Barely got through each day. Survival mode doesn't look good to anyone outside the immediate situation. Lost friends. Lost jobs. Family confused. It tasted like the bottom of a dustbin.
One shot of happy:
So how the heck did i get to today:  Home. Job. Loved. Children still talking to me. Grandchildren; everywhere.  Garden. More family, not less. More friends, not less. Colour. Flavours. Textures. Aromas. Sights. Sounds. Options. Choices. Life with bells on.
This has all been about my home, there's nothing of my work here. Family and home are sanctuary for me so leaving home early was an easy choice as my birth home had become loud and uncertain, a dangerous and unpredictable place to be. I'm so very glad that i had a chance at making my own home on my own, before attempting it with another + i am amazed at getting a second chance at living with another.

HAPPY: the feeling of being fully alive
A moment of Flow

Usually associated with music, dance, festival

But also reading
As CS Lewis reportedly said: “we read to know we are not alone”
SAD: a big shot of Sad
I think Sinatra said: “Regrets I have a few”
The patchwork of our lives reflect the choices we make
And we never have the benefit of hindsight.
I have often made the ‘safe’, ‘secure’ choices 
But security is often a straitjacket
A bird in a cage with its wings clipped
A sense of potential unfulfilled
A gallows sense of humour to create ‘happy’
As Jon Foreman sings: “ I want to thrive not just survive”
HAPPY: comes from spending time with others: sharing small things
Sharing skills and knowledge with a colleague
Playing a game with my family
Finding a ‘missing’ jigsaw piece with my mother 
Sharing food
Sharing a story over a pint: 
being open and vulnerable
Sharing a tear
Holding the one I love: skin on skin.
BHP Blessings,

Happy - May the 1st every year....as an ex addict, I wake up every May 1st and feel blessed I'm counting my past in years and not days. It's sometimes happy twinged with sadness as I'm reminded of old friends who never escaped addiction and passed away but equally it's a wonderful day as I add another year and although few people in my current life know, I have the inner satisfaction of knowing I turned my life around and how far I've come.

Sad - Never getting to spend real time with my dad as a person before he died. We lost him to cancer 14 years ago, he was always dad, a figure of authority who I had to explain my stupidity and mistakes to, but i never spent enough time with him as a person discussing emotions and aspirations. I have an amazing open relationship with my mum however because I was determined to never make the same mistake again and know her both as my mum but as a beautiful person as well, we get drunk together and can talk about anything. I just wish I could have had the same with my Dad.

Happy - Sitting on top of a mountain in Tenerife back in 1992, taking a walk by myself away from the family villa I went for a wander and ended up climbing a mountain by myself without ropes, probably quite dangerous when I look back on it but reaching the summit and sitting there in the basking sun, I had an overwhelming sense of peace and achievement that I've never experienced since.

Happy:  My year living in Sweden after I finished high school and before university. I was studying at a Bible School in Smaland...southern Sweden. The best year of my life!
Sad: The year my loved one was ill with her bipolar flare up....a psychotic break.  Well probably 5 years were bad but the year of the psychotic break was horrible and probably the worst year of my life. We are on the other side...thank God..so am breathing again! 
Happy:  My first visit to Paris on my own celebrating my 40th birthday. My best friends were to come with me but backed out.  It turned out to be okay because I absolutely loved my trip.  I fell in love with Paris!  I felt free. I felt their joie de vivre. It is still in my soul!  I was proud of my accomplishment of being able to travel alone. I was proud to realize how strong I was. I was proud I could navigate the  French language...thanks in part to living in Canada where French is our second language and thanks to my high school French teachers! I felt so alive in Paris so alive.

Happy - pure elation and love when our son was born, more so because we had had several miscarriages before we had him.
Sad - that someone I considered to be one of my closest friends walked away and despite our very best efforts we haven’t been able to make contact since.
Happy - seeing our children begin to achieve their dreams despite set backs and feel their passion, enthusiasm and determination to succeed
So many more happy ones I could have chosen.

1 Happy - finding someone I could share with and talk to and open my heart too, who was willing to listen, walk with me, cry with me and help me find meaning and truth in the darkness of my life. 

1 Sad - the guilt and shame of living in the darkness and with so many secrets to hide! Being threatened with death or exposure if I ever broke the silence... Threatened by a boy who had such a terrifying grip over me, as he subjected me to two years of emotional and sexual abuse.1 more Happy - finding freedom, joy and forgiveness and being able to trust enough to build some friendships over the last 12 months. 
No Name

Thank you warmly.
For joining us by reading these beautiful reflections.
And to the writers - thank you for sharing yourselves so beautifully/authentically ….



Monday, April 29, 2019


Can you help me?

I have a big birthday coming up
and my Blob Mate Ian
suggested I publish a new book
with you in it !!

I am asking if you have used any of my 
Games Exercises Jokes Blobs Quotes Images Questions
Poems Phrases Methodology Books Feelology Pipology etc
in the course of your work/life/communication?

Above is a draft book cover with some trigger examples.
You may have experienced many more?

AND if you could mail me a a sentence or a paragraph
of what & how you have used/transposed yourself ?

I would then, ONLY with your permission, use your text in the book
Together with my experiences of using this particular activity.

It would be great to get such participation
with you at the heart.

If you are up for it - email me 
(See ‘CONTACT’ at the top of my www.pipwilson.com
for a direct link to my email address)

Hoping this can work out - over to you



A Beautiful Human disappeared from my Facebook She stopped posting.

I have been internal weeping.

In my short history of life
a few years ago …….

A Beautiful Human disappeared from my Facebook 
She stopped posting. 
In fact she had stopped breathing. 
I don't want to say her name 

Heroin I believe. 
I don't want to say her name. 

She always came 
when I led late night 'Donuts'. 
That was the name for a group work session. 
Late night in a special needs Hostel.
same hostel 
same time 

same day

same opportunity for 100+ to come. 
And they came in small or large numbers.

She did 
I don't want to say her name. 

She always carried a screw top coke bottle. 
It did not contain cola 
I don't want to say here name. 

She always sipped on it. 
She had other addictions too. 
human and chemical 
I don't want to say her name. 

She loved me
I loved her 

she always joined in 
She knew if one human 
in that group of 8 to 25, 
(whoever how many turned up)
had the courage to be honest 
open up 
share vulnerability 
that it would help the whole group. 
She did it 
and it was dynamic.

I don't want to say here name. 

She helped by opening her self 
to all of us in the group

and giving permission to others 
to do the same. 
I don't want to say her name. 

She had experienced 
massive misuse by men. 
She was fragile and vulnerable 
She was beautiful 
I don't want to say here name. 

I have lots of photos of her 
none which I will post here. 
She would have liked to see her picture 
she knew I loved her 
She knows I love her 
but I cannot even ...... 
I don't want to say her name. 

She died alone  
and I am still here 
but I weep as I click 
I will remember her for a lifetime.

Each time I remember her I delight & weep. 
I don't want to say her name. 

But I wanted to tell you about her. 
A true beautiful human
a loss to the world

Her name is ..................... 
I so would love to say her name
but I won’t ………...


Cash Converters, 
turning televisions 
into Heroin 
since 1988


Sunday, April 28, 2019

Hey do you feel beautiful? Do you believe , you are beautiful?

Hey do you feel beautiful? 
Do you believe ,
you are beautiful? 

I think - the answers you give to those questions, 
determine how you handle life. 
I naturally think - have I put the comma in the right place? 
I accept I am ignorant of basic things, 
but I believe I am beautiful imperfection.

John O'Donohue has said that the 
Greek word for "the beautiful" is to "kalon” 
which is related to the word "kalein."
This is entwined to "call" or "calling.” 
So, John says - 
"when we experience beauty, we feel called.” 
Do you feel called?
Do you believe you are called? 

I first started using the phrase 
"You are a beautiful human person” 
when I was working with gangs of young humans. 

I struggled to love them - at first. 
They were constantly abusing. 
Me and others.
Some spit in your face. 
They lashed out physically. 
Sometimes, even worse, 
there was no response, 
no acknowledgement that I existed.

To be able to continue to work and love
I knew I had to start to learn
to see through their behaviour
and love the person
beyond behaviour.
So I started to say - 'YOU are beautiful'.

That gave ME a problem.
each one of theses BHP’s I work with - 
is beautiful  
I had to turn that on myself.
I was beautiful!
I am beautiful
(Much easier to type than say!)

I decided that God loves me some years before. 
God loves these beautiful humans.
Beautiful-Imperfection - like me!
I need to learn to love. 
I need to grow as a human - in love. 
Then I started to say, 
and write, 
and express in every way I could: 
"You are a beautiful human person".
"The human soul is hungry for beauty; 
we seek it everywhere - 
in landscape, 
music, art, clothes, furniture, 
gardening, companionship, love, 
religion, and in ourselves. 
We feel most alive in the presence of the Beautiful 
for it meets the needs of our soul.” 
John O'Donohue. Beauty: The Invisible Embrace.

The beauty I see, 
the most powerful beauty, 
is in you. 

The greatest beauty is - is in us humans. 
Despite behaviour, 
despite your behaviour,
you are beautiful.


The seeds of L O V E

Saturday, April 27, 2019

Blob Tree Communication Tools - all these downloadable