Tuesday, January 31, 2006

...... I am away ....... wondering where you are?
.... interactions with humans - full on - stimulates memories and personalities come into the mental video player .........

I know a lovely man.
- warm
- always a greeting
- helps me feel good
- abusive - racist - terrible - ugly to be near - when drunk.

I find that all humans are great people.
- the burglar
- the violent
- the abusive
- the drug dependent
- the street sleeper
- the dirty
- the robber
- the smelly
- the mentally disturbed
- the prostitute
- the drunk
- (I hate these labels because they refer to only part of their activities - life style)

When you meet them -behind the behaviour- they are great humans.
Even me!

They have problems like us.
Only different!
Want to throw the first stone - or a few?

Approach a a human who may, in weakness, scares or disgusts you.
Crouch down.
Sit down.
They are often on the ground.
Or lower than you.
Ask a question.
Give to that human - something.
Eye contact is good.

In time ....
A question about her/his feelings.
In time .....
Tell about a time in your life when you suffered and lived on the edge.
In time .....
Listen with your eyes.
In time ......... a touch ...........


Monday, January 30, 2006

The Big Book of Blobs

.... contains 56 pages, each containing a different blob illustration. This is one window taken from six windows making up one A4 page - sort of a comic strip - without the comic!

Every human I have asked can read the story in the stip. Sometimes the story is different and that is fine. It is a searching type of learning envioronment I am looking for - not a teacher/tell kind of intervention.

Questions for you ::
1 What do you think is happening here?
2 Who is the oppressor?
3 Who the abused?
4 Which blob humans are in eye contact with each other - and is it positive or negative?
5 Which blob is feeling most defensive?
6 Which blob is feeling most intimidated?
7 The ones in physical contact with each other, why is that contact being made?
8 Which one of these blobs have you felt like, most of all, this year?
9 Pick one of the blobs from the group and when done - scroll to**below?

This Blob Tool is called 'Blob Families' and I have used it many times with humans who need to talk.Humans, beautiful humans, with special needs - on the edge of our 'normal' society.
They need to 'Talk out life'.

It is fantastic.
It is powerful.
It is deep.
It is self a learning tool.
It is a self discovery tool.
An awareness raising tool.
A developing of sensitivity and skilling tool.

It may not be a family.
It could be an office environment.
In a factory.
In a pub.
Sports club.
Training course.
Any group of humans gathered together.

**The question above ::
You can do this ONLY if you have selected any single blob person.
Ready ::
Write down a few single words to describe the feelings inside that blob human as you see in the drawing?

It seems to me that we need to 'name' feelings we have.
Then we can be better at clocking the incoming signals and then managing those feelings.
Only when we can be sensitive to our own feelings
- will we be able to develop our awareness of how others feel
- then we can be more appropriate in communication, conflict resolution, supporting another, developing relationships, entering a helping relationship and just getting on better together.

At the moment I am feeling a slight tension - I feel I am scratching my depths - I feel the blood is flowing fast through my body - I am feeling reflective ......... and loving towards you.
And you ..................................................................................................


Sunday, January 29, 2006

One evening .. .. ..

I was sat with Mr Singh for dinner at the y.

(Mr Sing was a big mature man with turban a big thick beard reaching down his chest - but there had been a change.)

Mr Singh got to his feet and helped Sean with his tray of food.
Sean was a schoolteacher and blind. He came to stay at the ymca with his guide dog and Mr Singh, sometimes others, always helped Sean with that last lap of getting grub to the table ....... and getting him a cup of tea to follow at the end of dinner.

After a while - mr Singh got up and left.
I said to Sean 'what do you think of Mr Singh shaving his beard off?'
He said 'I didn't know he had a beard.'

What a fantastic thought.
He knew Mr Singh for his warmth and kindness and generosity.
We, the rest of us, are disabled by the ability to see the human.
Wow I think, how important it is to see the person below the surface and not the outer.

::Read some more about than this here::


FORGIVE .. ... .. ..

..... me

I am not communicating well at the moment. I have an overloaded eMail inbox and I have to do my priority tasks which are, at the moment, prepping for work I am doing in the next few weeks. I seem to busk-it when I do facilitation or training but I have to prepare well - very!

That means I still have a blog as a priority but other things get in the Q!
I have not done my January eNewsletter either. grrr

But I am back to energetic health and need to be .......... sooooo soooon I will have some days when I will be able to get back to other things ........

And I am keen to put some time in to complete 'Gutter Feelings' part 2 and 'Games without Frontiers' Bumper Version .................

.... stay beautiful ..........


Saturday, January 28, 2006

... had a great Greenbelt meeting today and feel like ........... ..... ..... .. we can change the world in some small way.....
........ and some bigger- bigger way when it comes to the individual ......... and who changes the world?

Love the passion and the stars around the table ..... all living it out there and coming together to inspire each other and a festival to come but also 'be' in the daily life of thousands ............... consider?

I was iPoded up on the train home - deep into the Guardian and Pete Tong ...... loveitloveit ........
......... "hello pip" said the voice from over the other side of the carriage ........ this suited and booted tall handsome guy, in his shades, stepped over to join me .........
I had not clocked him when he had joined the train.
I recalled him straight away as someone who I had built a relationship with in a YMCA Homeless Hostel environment. He is about 25 years old and looked good.
My mind flashed back over the interactions with him ....... the ones sticking in the scan were the violent ones. The abusive ones. The erratic ones. I knew he had mental heath issues and when he failed to take his medication - a different guy.

He told me enthusiastically that he had his own flat now - for two weeks.
"Where was you before that" I asked and he simply said the "the street".
When I had last seen him he had been sleeping rough for a few months - into years. He went on to tell me he was on his medication and off the drugs....... all in a loud voice. He went an to say that the discussions we had had together had been great - and a great help to him - in a loud voice. He said that, as a result, he had formulated a weekly programme of things he could do which were positive. Then how to recognise the signals when HUNGRY ANGRY LONELY TIRED and hen have positive things he could do when he felt those triggers.

"I need people around me Pip" he said.
"I get lonely"

We had been talking about 'community' at the Greenbelt meeting and how to sustain and develop that Greenbelt community.
My theory is::
We watch soap operas on tv because we need that life of 'community'. If we don't experience it for ourselves - we will watch more TV to get it. God is community and we want to build community as part of the kingdom building strategy. Any leader who neglects to build a community creates isolation. Scott Peck writes :: "Community is a safe place precisely because no one is attempting to heal or convert you, to fix you, to change you. Instead, the members accept you as you are. You are free to be you. And being so free, you are free to discard defenses, masks, disguises: free to seek your own psychological and spiritual health." - I believe that belonging to other humans is vital for security of self. It is the best place for growth and the best place for support - living in a flat on your own is maybe NOT the best for someone with special needs - without support.

When I did a job as a National Advisor, some few years ago, I laid these out for myself::
· To create a Buzz in England individual Communities about wholistic development which includes opportunities and wholistic development.
· To bring warmth to the cold and the cool
· Quench the thirsty
· Excite the soul
· Inspire all to take risks for their own development

Back on the train he was ready to hop off at his stop. He continued to disclose himself as if we were still in a group together - with some passion. We shook hands. We wished each other well .................. bless him.

Consider a picture of::
A glass jar full of marbles.
Which one is an image of community?

Humans like him need community.
Humans like me need community
Humans like you ............. and you?


Celebs ..... real ones - on the case - dayby day - hardworking - fun loving - big caring beautifuls.

Centre right is Dave Thorn - big farewell tonight ..... loveitloveit.

What a great man

Friday, January 27, 2006

I just don't have the GUTS for it

..... here I am at the leaning towers of pip wilson dot com ........... and in recovery from the period of my guts taking over my life priorities ........ ........... until this afternoon I felt a lack of energy..... .... Now I seem to be pumping.

Tonight I have a farewell to go to. Mr Dave Thorn was the Chef Manager at Romford YMCA for a long time when I was there and raised up the ladder to be responsible for many things during his long years. He leaves tonight and it is my delight to wish him a fond farewell.

Tomorrow I have a Greenbelt Board of Directors/Trustees meeting all day. If you have never been to this magnetic/electric/soulshaking/comfortshaking/comforting/inspiring/mindbursting Festival! ........ it is most inspiring and does not give you stuff for head and heart - it makes those things available for the taking. Awaking.
It has a free spirit and - in some way - always begins a new year with a spring in the step for me ........ consider - note I never ask - never recommend .... just say I like it and :::::: consider?

Next week and the week after I have a couple of residential training gigs and in-between may be going to drink champagne in a place where you can buy like you can buy larger in a UK pub! The extra delight will be that the Sheilas will be with us ....... before they both fly to Miami grrrr .... I have only been to the States once and that was to kick the darkness into the Eve of year 2000.
May be going to drink Champagne ...... because it is not booked and the Sheilas an always change their minds .......

The BEEF ON THE BONE is back ... the new Rugby League Season starts. Me and Joan plan to be at The Saints first game in London town hey hey ........ consider?

That tripping over the doorstep of February takes me with my usual fumbling and stumbling into Valentines Day ...... hey - we have plans ............. not saying!

You are a beautiful human person

I have not felt beautiful over the last few days but, I believe I am - EVEN though I don't feel that.
Important principle.
Vital for life - I would say.
I am and always will be - beautiful
beautiful imperfection ...............


Thursday, January 26, 2006

The Big Book of Blobs

.... ... is available from me ....... just go for the 'contact button' on my home page ........

From a letter to me
from a young person
in Bulgaria

....someone somewhere is living the live I want to live
.......someone is going to the places I want to go
......someone is huging the people I want to hug
.......... the paradise is always somewhere else
For men and women
are not only themselves
they are the region in which they were born,
the city apartment in which they learned to walk,
the games they played as children,
the old wives tales they overheard,
the food they ate,
the schools they attended,
the sports they followed,
the poems they read,
the God they believed in".

Somerset Maughan,
The Razor's Head.

I was online with the taxman .. .. ..

.......... yesterday I didn't blog ............. about 1pm I started to feel that horrible feeling I last had a couple of years ago which ended up with two vehicles outside my home with blue flashing lights.

It was like lead rugby ball in my stomach - filled with cramp.
Joan was out and I walked around indoors, in bed, in a chair, on the floor and I could not ease the pain or get comfortable in any way. Gaviscon worked after a few hours last time. They found that out in A&E - Romford Hospital. This time - it did not go ..................... a long 'no go'.
I had cold sweats and hot ones.
In a warm house I could not get warm until about 8 pm when I forced myself to lie in bed and cover up with extra clothes and bed-socks!

Interesting how everything went out of the window in terms of::
Celebrity Big Brother, dealing with piles of The Book of Big Blobs, post office and even the taxman!
When humans are on the edge of survival and demanding pain, social conditions and bitter relationships - it is tough to think or love your neighbour - or make poverty history.
QQQQQQQ "An empty belly has no ears" says the African Proverb.
When you are on the frontiers of life, words are not needed - nor advice ........... but what does matter is support. Supporting People in Hostels - supporting Make Poverty History - Christian Aid - Y Care - has a massive impact on humans who are in need during a crucial period.

:: I wonder how Vicky Pollard gets her support - who from?::

So Joan came in and silently 'supported' me. A horrible night with little sleep and then - I got out of bed in the middle of the night ...... the fever had gone. The lead balloon had lost it's lead. I feel week and hate feeling sick - vulnerable like this - imperfection indeed. I feel week now - physically and I am going to the Doctors because my gut need attention. Porridge to eat all day today to try to get rid of the rugby ball. Taxman tomorrow.


Tuesday, January 24, 2006

What a blog .....

I have some wooden - feely touchy Blob beautiful - non humans which I use in workshops and training.

...... and always music .....

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

This tried and true mind jogger helps us to stay in touch with our feelings and real needs.

Sometimes the onset of anxiety or a sudden drop in mood can be traced to our having forgotten to eat so our blood sugar levels are off the planet.

Sometimes we may be carrying a resentment,
or we are just too

Taking a little time out from our busy day to ask ourselves if we are feeling too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired,
gets us in touch with our feelings.

When we know what we are feeling
..... we can make choices and
take the appropriate action to get our needs for food,

Being too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired,
are conditions that leave us more vulnerable to the temptations
that lead us away from our journey of recovery
and development.

Part of the journey into wholeness is learning to pay attention
to these inner signals.
Then we can practice appropriate ways
to meet our needs and resolve issues
in a manner that will enhance our abstinence
and growth into wholeness.

Next time you feel a bit weak .......
..... ask if you are::
Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired?


Monday, January 23, 2006

Tomek .....

..... was the only human ever to share my office when I was a CEO of a 24 hour operating non-stop Charity. This was an office which was busy as a meeting room too. Tomek came as a young volunteer and ended up converting me into a cyber human.
My first email/web-site and all things digital ..........
........... he also saved me from a life of dull gray boxes using dull gray operating systems ........ and he introduced me to the new life found in - and out of Apple Macs - iLife indeed!!

I always treat every human with esteem and value.
More so the young humans.
I guess that Tomek received the same then.
Talking level.
Never talking down.
Never talking up.

I passed a bus stop today outside a boys school.
I saw a group of noisey fun loving boys mesing around together.
Also - at the other end of the bus stop was a young boy about 12.
He was on his own.
He was black.
His face expressionless.
His head hung a bit low.
I passed him an went out to him emotionally.
It was a Vicky Pollard moment.
Thinking about the person beyond the first impression.
As I passed him I prayed for him ..........

Tomek was in my office and he created the Charity web-site and my first pip.com www.
His English language was - err - improving!
His Polish, unlike mine, was perfect.
All I can say is ............................."yesh tesh sponyowee'
Which means:: .......................................................... 'you are a beautiful human person'.

He was the junior then - I was the junior today as I sat in his office in central London - and I liked that feeling.
Big responsible job as an IT Director.
Talented - extreme.
A Degree in all this stuff ......... different as I seem to cock up the most simple IT things.
What a great human becoming ..............

I am trying to probe feelings and thoughts which I cannot yet plumb ........
I will drink deep at that well in the next hours/days ........
I can learn from that and the rest of the day ...........



On the chance ......

.... of her being free from her London West End edit .......... I phoned AnnSheila as I walked down Carnaby Street after meeting Tomek.

She had a small break in her last day of editing ..... so we met up ..... The half hour snack and coffee gave us a wee catch up as we don't see her to often.

loveherloveherloveher ...
Ann and Meg .....

Y*u a*e wh*t y*u e*t

.... Little Sheila invited me to pop into her edit in the last phase of the TV programme above -g*ogle proofed ..... I hope?

She ends this TV Directing this job this week, but please view/see her TV show on Ch 4 tomorrow ......... then she moves on to:::::

P*mp *y R*de ...... UK for M*T*V
....... and did you hear on Radio one last week that Maddona is -maybe about to film her next video around this show?


Sunday, January 22, 2006

"I'm for the children and stuff."

- Arnold Schwarzenegger,
responding to questions from the media about being
Governor of California.

Little Sheila

.... from the family archives and now going in d bin .... .... .... ... scanned for life I may add .....

... lots more on my web-site of course!

are the source of our growth as persons.

There must be at least one person
with whom he or she is totally open

and feels totally safe at the same time"

Paul Tournier

In The
New Piccadilly
in 1990

.... photo by Willie .......... and it is still home from home .......


.... seem to have been absent from my blog site ..... and feel neglectful!

.......... met with this great man this week - Martin.
First time we have met and, of course, the best place to meet is the New Piccadilly.
It was great to get to the point of human interchange without going around the houses.
We did a recap on our lives together and I discovered a man of commitment and talented to extreme - I could tell.
He is a man with a mission - a gentle mission ..... don't get me wrong.
He is creative and wanted, so much, to introduce him to so many of my friends right there and then.
As well as being the Editor of Youthwork Magazine - he is a writer with some great exciting projects in his soul and backpack. I will ask him if I can tell you a bit about them - just so yo can keep your eyes and ears open for him - and I hope he will be doing some of his stuff at Greenbelt this year ................. stinking wow.

Middle of the week I was feeling inwardly disturbed ...... sick - you know what I mean?
Feeling that it is time to be sick ...... and then had a restless night NOT doing that........ nor the day afterwards. The worst was a stench rising from my gut into my mouth! Every now and again I could taste and smell those rotten eggs!
Even a person I was 'supporting', in a 1-on-1 situation, could catch the whiff ........ how bad is that?
That lasted a couple of days. Standing up in a -crushed full- train coming home from work, that is as late as 7/8 pm as well, I was feeling that same sickly-sweaty-self ................ terrible.
It was water only for two days - and the third mostly.
The good news - I lost the half stone I had placed around my waistline over Christmas hey hey.

Got myself iLife all the way from Miami ....... most beautiful Joy got it for me and it hummmmmms with beauty.
I had to offload 10 gigs from my iMac and G4 mactop to get it on there but now it is beautiful.
With this - you will se a new pidotcom web-site - in about a month I guess. Also keep your eye on www.blobtree.com which will be displaying my simple mind 2 page web design.
It is so great you don't have to type, I so cannot!
It is so great you can just drag text and pix and movies and blogs and Pipcasts and singing and dancing ....... watch this space!

I am about to start a PIPcast on a regular basis - thanx to my mate BigJohn. But this week I must feed the monster. I have to get my tax returns in THIS week - stink.

New album due from the Cinematic Orchestra wow
Ne one too from The Gotan Project - wow.
And also listening to the new LP from Vespol from Czech Republic ....... hope to see them at Greenbelt this year.
and ...... the Gilles Peterson Radio Programme this week is ........ wonder-full. (listen again before Sunday at 11pm)

Got a few residential gigs coming up in the next few weeks.
Sometimes I do Group Work.
Sometimes it is Training.
These times it will be Facilitation - all about aiding a Team or Group or Conference to move towards decisions and grappling with real issues.

I just love the buzz of going amongst a community of humans and bumping into their 'beautiful imperfection'.
Not really knowing what to do.
with well prepared options - and tools at the ready!

....... beautiful imperfection pip wilson signing off .......

One of the greatest reminders in my life - of my imperfection
- is this damn 'spell checker'!


.... to describe your life at the moment?

These beautiful humans have said I can publish their 5 Words .......

................... and you?


-heavy headed

Katie :-)



tired -
free -
content -
searching -


Big John



Friday, January 20, 2006

"We become fully conscious
only of what we are able to express
to someone else.
We may already have had a certain inner intuition about it,
but it must remain vague
so long as it is unformulated”

Paul Tournier
from 'The Meaning of Persons'.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> …… the room is set in a comfortable but informal way. When the time is getting near I am in there with the music laying a good groove.
In amble a few humans.
YES IT IS GROUP WORK STARTING ………….. and I am there as the punter facilitator.
I am in a Homeless Hostel - over a hundred beautiful humans. Some I know - have done the footwork. Usually, before the event, there is a handout which is created with non-readers in mind – always.

I always feel apprehensive before a group.
Adrenaline has to pump in a relaxed style for me to function well and be a positive tool in the operation.
I ask the names of any new people so they are equal in terms of greeting and personal involvement.
Similar to leading games and some really silly kind of fun in other contexts – I always plan every detail and for every option and, hopefully, every scenario.
(It amazes me to see people leading games, for instance, and it all being sloppy - no fun for the watching crowd
- ALL because the person leading the game is too interested in self enjoyment or ego.)

So here I am at the start of a group - with feelings in abundance and prepared conducted in detail ……… but busking it and not following a prepared script!
Maybe I will use The Blob Tree or Blob Leaps, or Blob Level Five, or Blob Maslow, or Blob Feelings......... or many other item from the toolbox.
So in comes the humans and the group starts with some food as an activity. Food and a cuppa tea vital for informal 'climate setting'......... and always welcome when working in a Hostel environment.

The subject is unknown to me at that point. Three options are often prepared and the one used is the one I judge the best for the assembled group. Certain activities could not be used for a large group or a small noisy group …….. some maybe high on chemicals or alcohol for instance.

Always there is a risk taken to create an experience not just a heady discussion.
I am after levels of communication you will know about if you read my blog often.
I am after human development - NOT only fun and opinions.
This risk stretches me – too.
This risk troubles me.
This risk hurts when I fail to do what I aimed for.
This risk hurts sometimes.
This risk is sometimes failure.
This risk is fantastic and at it’s deepest and exciting .......... and better than that so often.
I never fail to be impressed at how humans can respond to challenge.

"Community is a safe place precisely because no one is attempting to heal or convert you, to fix you, to change you. Instead, the members accept you as you are. You are free to be you. And being so free, you are free to discard defenses, masks, disguises: free to seek your own psychological and spiritual health."

M. Scott Peck

I will leave you now ............. to spend some time with ………..

............. it is important that you are the person you want to spend the rest of your life with ……<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<


Thursday, January 19, 2006


.... to create my next monthly eNewsletter over the next two days ........ it goes out to over 3000 souls ........ beautiful humans ....... so if you are not on the list - or want to check ......... just PLONK your email ad. in a little box ........ I will never know who you are but you will get some, fresh from diving, 'pearls of wilson' on Monday ....... right on your little glass screen ......
CLICK HERE - (top left hand corner)

Five Words
to describe
my life
right NOW?


©pip wilson dot on the road less travelled




..... to describe your life at this moment?

Let me know ...... they are coming in ......


-heavy headed


Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Somehow Laurie found the inner strength to turn his life around - the crunch came when he woke up in a police cell, arrested for drink driving.

'After years of suffering and depression a light came on whilst in that cell.

'I admitted to myself I needed help, I cried out to God and I believe my call was heard.

The YMCA has been tremendous in supporting my needs ........

Read the bigger story ...........................



I often ask this question and it is great for me - the answer that is - and for the human who digs into their inner being and shares these beautiful words of reality .........
...... these are a few from the past - and more recent ........ you may be here .......

....5 Words....


open space






Pip Wilson

my 5 words for today...mmmm....I'm thinking
thinking about the future

vision, difference, divergence, conciliation, clean heart.


Worried, Optimistic, Lost, Determined, Observant.



Hard work



Pip Wilson 16/1/03

Helen 22/1/03

Pip Wilson 23/1/03




Jean 15/1/03

Angie 17/1/03



Pip 15/1/03

Santos 16/1/03


Dave H 17/1/03

Pip 17/1/03

Deb 17/1/03


Joan 17/1/03



And your 5 Words - NOW?

The one above (Santos)
I told the Queen these five words when I had lunch with her some time ago.
About the human.
About the conversation which followed.
About working with young humans on the Frontiers.
About love.
I didn' have the courage to ask about her 5 Words!


Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Would you come to a workshop at a conference with a brief like this?


Human Being and Human Becoming
- eyes wide open
- enlarging the capacity to love
- emerging the real
- living with PASSION

A workshop looking at ‘life management’ and development of our whole person
A workshop of journeying with a group to step forward from routine.
A workshop of gentle stretching our potential.
A workshop touching spiritual self and Christian principles.
A workshop developing the ‘community taker’ and the ‘community maker’
A workshop to ‘take away’ only what you chose.

Pip Wilson will lead a group which will be facilitating a journey into whole person development.
Methods will be group processes and experiential learning in a climate of trust.


God help us to live slowly:
To move simply:
To look softly:
To allow emptiness:
To let the heart create for us.

© Michael Leunig

be careful to be true to yourself
be careful to be true to others
be careful to protect yourself
be careful to protect others
be careful to give your heart
be careful to keep your heart
be careful in what you say
be careful to say what you mean
be careful to respect yourself
be careful to respect others
be careful to keep your promises
be careful to promise what you keep
be careful to love yourself
be careful to love others
be careful to do what's right
be careful to right what you do
be careful to love purely
be careful to purely love

Be Careful


I am the opposite to boring
I am the opposite to depressing
I am the opposite to ugly
I am the opposite to stupid
I am the opposite to successful
I am the opposite to smart
I am the opposite to intelligent
I am the opposite to rich
I am the opposite to frozen
I am the opposite to perfect
I am the opposite to complete
I am the opposite to settled
I am the opposite to content
I am the opposite to being
I am the opposite to hard
I am the opposite to silent
I am the opposite to paused
I am the opposite to country
I am the opposite to still
I am the opposite to death
I am the opposite to
I am the opposite to
I am the opposite to
I am the opposite to
I am the opposite to
I have left some blanks for you to complete?


.... so many of my regular blogs to click ........ have gone away and blog so rare that I give up on those seconds of wasted clicking

Soooooooo I am delighted when a great friend starts to blogs ...... please - please say something for my soul everyday I loveitloveit Paul.

I feel;
Beautiful Imperfection

Tonight I feel a bit more of the latter than the former.
NOW ...... I know that this is a feeling.
Feelings are real.
And important.
What I do know - believe - own - be - is ....... I am beautiful and imperfect.

Sometimes I feel more beautiful than imperfect.
Ha ....... that is just a feeling too!
I smile at the thought ......

The worst thing ...... is when we do not accept the beautiful % in us.
That means the whole of us is 'not ok' .
It can be like freezer in our soul - with the door open.
Still beautiful but not in touch with our beautiful self.

I have no need to talk about this in a smug way.
I was around about forty years old before I could
feel and
think and
say .........
I am beautiful.


Why am I afraid to tell you who I am .. .. ... ... ... ...

..... my favourite book of all time.
About how we present to others a person who we feel will be acceptable to them.
Attractive to them.
So we present, on the outside, a person who is really not us.
We wear a mask.

A journey of a lifetime - becoming a person who we really are.
And that begins with being in touch with our feelings - and telling others who we really are.
That in it's-self ....... a process of learning who we really are.

So I want to tell you who I really am right now ........ and that means telling you my feelings.
In the positive and in the negative.
But I don't know what to click.
I am committed so I will do it NOW.

I feel negative about myself;
I know I am am not well educated. A refusal, my refusal, to learn at key times - rather than poor teachers.
I feel I am not as strategic with my life as I would like to be. When I am doing a full day/or more training course I am totally tuned and focused for days before. Smaller gigs I drift into it - a bit - not a lot!
I don't feel really bad about these - but I know there is a tendency to be weak here.

I feel positive about myself;
...... and these things are more sensitive to say ........
I feel I am accepting and valuing of most people. Would like to say all. I believe in accepting all ...... but sometimes there is a gap between belief and practice. (For you too?)
I tell humans they are beautiful and always mean it.
Sometimes their behaviour is not nice, and I dislike, but I aim to always see beyond the behaviour.

That is enough. Have scraped the barrel of my feelings tonight.
Other than - I feel for you.
I don't know how you are right now.
But I still reach out and feel with you.

May you be a beautiful human being
a beautiful human becoming

"Man, do you think yours is the only soul?
Look around you.
Everything that you see quivers with being.
Though your thoughts are free,
one thing you do not think about:
the whole."
Gérard de Nerval


Sunday, January 15, 2006

Listening to Pete Tong on my iPod ...... downloaded every Friday and listened to several times in the week. Three hours of the best house music - loveitloveit.

Today, after Church, it was a salad with my beloved. We did the diary together - clocking what each of us are up to in the coming months.

Then a good deep drink at The Observer Newspaper. I have always thought it was the most balanced Sunday read - don't agree with all of it - no chance. But it is a good read and recently moved to be the best designed newspaper too.

I hate the bias in the Sunday T*m*es ....... won't give the hit on Google either!

Now it is a quick check of the internet - how did we manage life before?
Edited my blog below - done last night during Big Bother. (Yes Bother!)

Will download Stocki on Ulster Radio tonight. His show last week was extra great.
Then Gilles Peterson starts at 11pm - I usually leave it downloading when I go to bed after the 1am end - then it is ready for a first listen on the commuter train. Listen again, give it an ear, to Gilles - my big influence - music wise.

I sometimes record DJ Fitz, from 1Xtra Radio, who does a gospel show on Sunday mornings. Like the music but he dribbles on too much and the those -boring -old -badly read news items!

One World starting at 1am Monday mornings is - hmmmm - sometimes great - sometimes not - for me. But I always listen because it takes me to new music experiences .... .....

I feel a bit flat emotionally now.
All because - when I chill I go like that. That chill/still/flat/ingoing journey ....... somehow gives me energy to kick as soon as I am out and kicking darkness ........

........... maybe back later ......... or Monday .............. thanx for clicking this way ......... I click for you - and me ....... I need to ...............


The Iraq war

.... such a major wrong decision .....

..... and then think of the lives of beautiful humans - LOST .............

Saturday, January 14, 2006


..... today ...... but still things to do at the Leaning Towers of pip wilson dot com .......

Also into podcasting since Christmas surfing.
Have you found the fantastic resources in iTunes - (downloaded free?)
Not found a Rugby League one yet.
Love d Mac/Tech ones and Rough Guides do some too.
Stuff Mag do a monthly one.
They are mainly short
but if you haven't heard the Rolling Stone Mag 'Bono interview' ....... be ashamed ..... be deprived if you chose ....... they are fre you knnow and can listen without an iPod ..........

Have decided to do a weekly one myself.
Big John - Producer.
Me - Director Presenter

Also I am hoping to do a monthly show which I created and did in a Bar first for a few months - then preented at Greenbelt - link here.
It is called
'My Movie Soundtrack'.
all as a Podcast.

..... back to re-creation .........


Friday, January 13, 2006


..... received this today from a friend ....... it touched me deep ..... and she says I can share it with you.. ...... I want to .......

.......... sitting with Volker having a nice brunch.
I asked him

"You got a nice letter.
From whom would it be
and what would be written inside?"

When he answered
"From my Father"
tears where running down my face and I realised,
that I have never got a letter from my father during my whole life.
Wrote him a letter about this question and my feelings.

Pip Wilson

if you are to close together or
you are too far away from each other
it is not easy to play catch
communicating is the same
if you are too far away from your lover or your friend
it's not easy to communicate


..... being cool ........
he would look nice in shades - eh?

Lots to blog about but after a 13 hour day out - I am a bit tired and will share the feelings of the soul tomorrow .......

Just want to say;
You are a beautiful human

You are
Even the humans in the Big Brother House are
They are not just entertainment
They are hurting humans
Need to be loved
See love
Feel love
Love articulated

What terrible TV to put these vulnerable humans through the mill

Just want to say

you are a beautiful human ..................