Wednesday, June 30, 2004

....... so here I am at the porto-cabin called Haugesund Airport, Norway.
Clicking offline as I wait in the lounge to depart home and I am ready for it.

I have a Training gig to put together for next week but a gap to give my brain a break. it is APS next week. Association of Professional Staff ...... ymca four home nations. I am doing a 'whole person development session for staff - covering two or three days methinks.

The level five group was due to meet this Saturday for a BBQ but it has had to be pulled due to changes of plan by the 5ers. We have been meeting 24 years this August - 25th next year. We level five together and it is like a life massage. How often can you belong so good, so deep, so long?

It has been great here including the stretch parts. Just spent an hour with Oyvin by the water in a cafe with Norg water and a past salad - with level 5 for starter main course and desert. Had not seen the geezer during the week due to his busy festival lifestyle.
I played my very latest tune which is ringing my bells at the moment.
'Try' by Bugge Weseltoft with another singer Sidsel Endressen (I think it - it is something like this) It is off the new and beautiful 'Jazzanova' album called '...Mixing'
The come out of Berlin and are grand master mixers of their own and others material. This could be my best album of the year. It is the latest buy and I don't think I have raved about it. So that is now done .............. but I will be back - raving soon!

I love Julie Benson who is not my wife.
Joan told me on the 'phone that I have a wee parcel at home awaiting.

I love Julie Benson.

In Norway I have heard lots of music from my iPod. Beautiful; ...Mixing album on repeat AND the Gilles in Brazil twin CD which is growing fast in my soul. Also the six radio programmes I brought with me
One Tong
Two Benji B
Three Gilles Peterson.
I have been going to sleep and waking up with them - all pumping out of my wee portable stereo system.

Got some wondrous glass items for Joan and the Sheilas.

Will post this later when I get home .............. see you soon ....... thanx for clicking here ................

Tuesday, June 29, 2004


Greenbelt is: journey not destination;
quest not formula; dance not doctrine.
- John Bell, Feb 2004

.... AND I WAS OFF -DA-CYBER-LINE YESTERDAY AS THE FESTIVAL hit the city ...... really a small coastal town called Haugesund. We spent the day in town.

My friend Oyvin is one of the chiefs of the festival and at last I made a time to see him. He's so blocked and busy - we met at midnight last night and talked a little. Not much level five.

I have seen more of Pete who is a Swiss Willie Williams. He has his own company and does the gig stuff and tour stuff for bands and others. Good geezer and have enjoyed listening to his stories and some of the artist's he has contact with sound fabfab for Greenbelt .

Here I am back on the workshop trail today and will be dropping online when I can with a recovery cup of coffee.

I am in stretch here. New methods of communication are pumping out. I am using the 'gods football pitch' LARGE. Meaning - I am marking out a big pitch with the masking tape I brought - and using real bodies - theirs .......... so they can display where they are with god. On the pitch were the action is or on the terraces as a spectator. There are othe places to be - one is out side the ground in the pub! Another is in the showers having been battered by this Christian life.

Love it love it.

.................. last night I was in a strange environment for a few hours. A Norwegian organic farm which is run by Hilda and Rudi who I was with when they first kissed(with a little encouragement - they didn't need much!) when we were at a YMCA conference in Dassel Germany some12/15 years ago. Since then there is two children - I guess lots of kissing - and I have nor seen them for 9 years since the last time I was in Haugesund.
The farm overlooks a river which is really the sea ...... and a massive bridge. It was so wow compared with my usual London/urban/romford/concrete scene.
It was fab and beautiful. When you connect with people - real level 5 - you can meet up many years later and wow - back to the same level. Bodies are a little older but the souls are alive .............. hmm ......... the Glory of God is a person fully alive ............


Sunday, June 27, 2004

... last blog of the day as I have returned from my workshop to the wi-fi IT centre here in Norway to dump all my bags.

I feel ............. (how do you?) ............. not the failure of yesterday. I worked hard to turn the direction of the workshop, from yesterdays discomfort, to a better experience for the punters so also for me. Amazed, I was, that they all turned up for another dose of Road Less traveled. Today I was much more active with them. Much more ice breaking and much more sensitive to the languages. Lots of tools for benefit today and as a 'take away' for tomorrows leadership.

I feel god about all the workshops today. The lonely experience came in the evening yesterday. Worse because I was tired and had not eaten. Tonight will be better I hope coz I am meeting Pete after the big gig and going for as meal together.

Think I will be offline tomorrow because all the gigs are in the main town centre.

I have said how I feel.
Some of what I have done.
But not what I think ............... eer.

I think that - I get asked to go to places home and abroad to do Training and experiential things but never get asked by Greenbelt to do anything like that. Why is that?
The reason why I thought that is;
I have decided that people at Festivals are so high that they are not in touch with real life, rightly so, so that they are reluctant to clock their more 'dark' feelings. When I ask people to do homework re sensitivity/feelings/interactions/put downs/etc ........ they cannot do 'homework' because they are not at home. So better to do other stuff methinks.

Next workshop is about 'connecting to the world issues'. Hmmm
Need to do some prep. I know where ~I am about all this but HAVE to be where they are at. I will not know who 'they' are until they show up for the gig. Good job I have the 'blob world' and the 'blob hand' and .......... What the hell else do I have to help communicate across cultures .................?

God so loved ..............................................................
..... Prime Minister here ...................... he was yesterday ..... the Norwegian one of course.
He was speaking and also being interviewed.
A man with a Christian faith trys to live it it seems to me. Mind you, the language is all Greek to me - Norwegian actually.

Yesterday I had feelings of failure. I cocked things up. Not aware of the complications with the language. Not the Norwegians - they can understand me - it is the tangle web of challenge with the other nationalities.
So I worked at my feelings last night in my tiredness at the end of the day and ..........

.........also lots of good feelings and I can cope with both the thorns and the roses.

In this festival, when I am tired and concluded my workshops, there is no fine place to rest and and few people I know to hang with. So I feel a loss. I feel the lonely thing. Do you ever?
Not many people will say.

Now I have another day and two workshops as well as the whole festival to deal with....

love love love ya love ya

Saturday, June 26, 2004

....... and I am back again after my workshop ........... bit hard going with the international language issue which also brings a special beautiful dimension. We have the Russians with us and several other European nationals.

What now .................?
being with humans
being and becoming with myself.

.......... a bot silly this but now I have concluded A WORLKSHOP just now ............. I come back to the IT centre and relax and - of course check my emails and Beeb news ........... sad someone died at Glastonbury.

Now I have the start of a Road less Travelled Course at 5.30 today ........ and it contunues every day.

hey hey Norway


Have click at this
you will like

paste into browser
honest you WILL like

..... pipdotcom here on wifi in Norway ...... it is so fab as you just open the G4 and there we are on line and free hay hay .............

do are et vokkart manaska
Norwegian for
you are a beautiful human person!

Strange - few norwegians understand me until I repeat about four times .......

willy knickers***** ..... that was a the eating house that DJ Dan and me fed ourselves on last night in Haugesund ............. the knicker bit had some other letters but I like the above.

DJ Dan ...... fab level five as we dined. Now I know the geezer.

I am in Hotel Neptune ...... fab coffee - important ........ Amazingly there is Gilles Peterson playing in the bedroom all the time! - thanx Mr iPod.

Strange to arrive here and do a five minute slot for 2.5 young people who I don't know ...... and they all know English.

you are beautiful
.............and thanx for touching your finger tips to mine ............. via your keys ..............

Friday, June 25, 2004

................. it is late but I thought I had better blog because I am away-the-noo tomorrow and may not be able to touch finger tips with you until ............. maybe a week.

Big da brother is on the tv and me listening to BenjiB on 1xtra ........ and I like it.
Big B not so good.

Football tonight ............ most of England were watching the match tonoght on tv. Me too. Sad but they were not up to speed. The end was crual as it would be for any team.

I still need to prepare for tomorrow and the next week but need to knock ot some zzzzzzz

see you soon you special human ........
Lie back and think of your City job

'Don't equate money with happiness, exercise regularly, have sex (preferably with someone you love), seek work that engages your skills, enjoy the moment.' Fine from a shrink, but from an equity strategist?

....... from the Money Telegraph


Thursday, June 24, 2004

....... and I'm off to the festival.

If you want to see the gig you can click the website below and see the english version and even see a short video - largly filmed at Prague last year.
Paste this in your browser ...........

The purpose is spelled out by them like this;

Mission Statement
The Mission Statement describes the following three areas:

1. People meet people
We want TT:04 Connected to give an experience of community and belonging
- In the small format, where people meet people face to face and friendship might be born and grow
- In the medium format, where all can see each other and be and do together
- In the large format, where all have their own place, still appreciating that we are many!

We want TT:04 Connected to give the individual an experience of being appreciated and valued. At TT:04 Connected noone shall be treated only as a spectator. All shall be included in the community in action and play, in talking, in prayer and worship. The freedom to choose has to be combined with the assistance to risk and take part.

2. Christ meets us
We want TT:04 Connected to be an experience communicating with teenagers on their own terms/wavelength. On this wavelength we want to convey what God wants for our life. In this way TT:04 Connected will not only reflect the contemporary youth culture, but also present alternative values. Alternative values are not only ethics and ideals. We will convey the Gospel and inspire to a vivid faith in Jesus Christ.

3. We meet the world
We want TT:04 Connected to give an experience of belonging to each other, we who live on God’s earth. We will open doors to the world and show what challenges we are faced with. We will present the international dimension and work of the YWCA-YMCA. We will present ways of action in solidarity and in love for our neighbours.

It will be fun and getting excited ................... see you when I get back unless I can drop down in front of a wi-fi hotspot somewhere.


Wednesday, June 23, 2004

.......... and a telephone call today asking me if I would be willing to do a session on main stage at the start of the Norwegian Festival. I am asked to do a slot between two bands and, checking with the top man, they want it to be fun and interactive for the 2.5k humans right at the start of the 6 day festival ............... and I said ............ yes of course. So I am thinking options and thinking new stuff I have never done before - always a risk but - there is nothing worse than pulling out the same tricks like a stale magician.

I go Friday. Stansted. Direct to Haugesund - pronounced without the 'd' I understand.
Have been there before some years ago. Did a rolling magazine there. I remember some Eastern Europeans being very suspect of me because I used games and stuff to cultivate the spiritual and the awareness raising of God with us. They had just come out of the communist state and wanted a safe faith NOT some wacko type of experimental/risk type expression. Understand but ............. I felt they needed to catch up with the rest of Europe. Wasn't so blunt with them!

Will be meeting some great friends and making new. Will be leading a 'road less traveled course' every day. Also workshops every day. Don't know what I am doing yet - hmmm

What to pack in my suitcase is the issues. Is it the big knickers and womens tights again? (for some fun games ....... don't get silly now)
I will need to take many of the handouts from my books like the blob tree. Then I will be able to cc them at the event me-hopes. It is the bigger things which are the decision items. Like the knickers etc. I am playing a small part in the event - mainly small workshops but the same energy and creativity is needed. Numbers of humans change the context but the work in prep is vital.

Currently listening to Gilles Peterson on line 'listen again' feature, on my mactop as I click - and watching 'big brother' at the same time. SO out of date with this thing. All due to holidays. They SO get in the way of real life and must not have another annual holiday until next year hey hey!

Tomorrow is prep day, pack day, hair cut day, Sainsburies and entertaining the Mother in Law who has arrived as I go away hey hey!

Ann is here too for the one night so I can run her to Stansted for a short Sun break in Majorca. Joy is there working so they will be watching the big game in the sun with a Magarita or three.

Soon it will be time to record Gilles on my-iMac which I will take to Norway for leisure listening. The iPod is fantastic as a work tool too. I will take 7,500 songs on it to use on main stage and in workshops - it is so fab to have it all. In times past i used to gig like this with a suitcase full of CD's. What I need now is an iPod to put all my videos on for portability! Mac - please create?

Think I will have a cigar now as I click this on line ...........

remember ........... you are beautiful and special, unique and precious .......

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

........ promised I would click again after the sunblast and now the freeze back home ............. it is really cold here in the UK - London end ................
got me socks on
me tee on
me shirt on
my umbrella in my bag
a coat in there too ............. and it has been raining most of the day as UK - English end, will know.

The holiday town was like a one street cowboy town running close to the coast. Kardamyli was the place and so beautiful for me and Joan. We loved the quietness and the pace which we could set.
Beautiful waking up in the morning and seeing nothing but the sea from the balcony door - all without rising and opening the eyes proper.
I made a list of simple things ........

yoghurt honey and a banana for breakfast (with coffee)
balcony life
non stop music
the sea view
wake up anytime
- food
- sleep
- walk
- swim
- sun
- shade
- late night cigar Cointreau and Mataxa 5* on the balcony

I did a list of feelings often and they were good. I missed the clickability on the blog because I can understand myself better when I share with you. Better stuff comes out. Deeper. More thoughtful and sharing. Better than the internal churning of the heart.

Now I am am back with people who are distant from a hope of a holiday but - I feel no bitterness and envy from them. Interesting that.
Generous hearts.


Monday, June 21, 2004

........ now back from Greeceland and loved it but feel I have been offline forever ......
..... sorry, I hate clicking blogs to find they have gone away for a long break ........ will try to keep daily from now on BUT I do go to Norway this week and I am not certain if I can get online

Came back to a 'full on' day so tired now. Also 523 emails which I will have to 'do' later this week so sorry if I don't get to you soon ........

Got lots to share 'bout the one street Greek village we stayed in and how I loved the simple things. It is our 'simple things' holiday from now on.

I am going for now ......... will be clicking at ya tomorrow ........




Wednesday, June 09, 2004

................... sloth ............. not me on holiday but this pc in greece which is as slow as the lifestyle ............... love the lifestyle but not the cyber life, this cafe shuts for the rest of my stay so I will be offline ...... hmmm

Have become a Police Psychologist since we last touched finger tips. Yes here I am solving a murder in LA and the rest of real life is passing me by ...... just have to turn over and catch the sun and then continue the run after the baddie

John gets a read every day. Do you remember a few years ago they released the whole bible in the form of little backpocket books and got celebs to introduce? Well this one gets a fab intro by someone who is not a believer.I usually take one on hol each year and feed from the trough .... He said his memories of church as a child is astained glass jesus who looked like the type to turn wine into water! I like that and yet firmly believe in a Jesus who turns the other way water to wine ...... cointreau in my case!

Life is a balcony
we overlook the sea
wake up and without a turn of the head - see the sea
coffee on the balcony
late drinks on the balcony
talk and talk
and a text ot two to the sheilas ...............

so loving it and only really had three full days so far .............. and I don't think we will venture out of town because there is no place to run ....... but loving it

see you whan I get back

keepp touching them finger tips this way


Monday, June 07, 2004

....... just got to get out of this shimmering blue pool to get to this slow as hell cyber cafe coz not got my laptop going ............. it is fab here and this is just ther first full day of the rest of my life and holidays ......... I cannot pick up on my pip@ email a/c so I have a hotmail a/c if you need to contact me ....... pipunique@

Miss y'all .......... but not too much as I am trying to turn off things of normal life even though you remain in my mind as people stick like glue alongside things people matter more than things .............

.... been a reading mainly mags ....y
dj mag

the fiction has not come out the bag yet ...

I am happy
not all the time
don't want holidays all the time
want them to be refreshed for mission
and the soul
so this is mission too eh
to be refreshed is great

now going for a Mataxa with Joan ..... she likes that
cointreau of course
a nice cigar in the open air

stay for ever beautiful ............. and dream


Saturday, June 05, 2004

...... I will be going today .............. Greeceland ............ landing soon into a 30 degree haze and culture of blue sea, tavernas, Greek Salads and really warm red wine.

Feel a bit spaced coz not dashing off just yet. Things to do but not many. Packed almost. iPod charged with capacity 30 gigs of music - about 20 days of night and day - non stop vibes.

I will be blogging while I am away - I plan to.
My laptop will work - I hope - if I can plug in somewhere but that is just for emails. I will blog to you in a little cyber Greek bar - not seen but it is there in my imagination.

I am always trying to be familiar with my inner terrain. Holiday will trigger some journey of emotion and discovery. There is always 'what we do' and also 'what is happening inside' as we do it. The more familiar I am with my inner terrain - the more I can understand myself and walk aright and love. Love the unlovely - a challenge eh?

We can learn so much from ourselves, that a human teacher need only be a bonus. As a Christian I believe that God lives here (thumping chest) and all other places. Understanding me - inner and outer - is also reaching out my finger tip to God and understanding the Creators touch in it all.

Ghandi called life "experiments with truth" and the first truth is working on the self.
God with us is a nice line but so important to me. I want to walk with my finger tip in constant touch with Gods.

And sometimes I feel his finger tip slip away from mine ............ and it is felt ....... then ............. the full imprint of his fingerprint .............. in another place ............................ ...................on my soul.

....... if you paste this next line into your browser

you will see a grave yard in France with a panoramic view - you can turn around and see nothing but crosses marking the life of one person.

When we first went to France with a mini-bus of kids in 1968, we stood with them in such a place and read the gravestones.
18 years old and died here.
17 years old and died here.
It was a moving moment for them kids who will remember that day and the emotion.
They will also remember that day and today as mature adults.



Friday, June 04, 2004


"I haven't convinced America that this is a greater threat to humanity than any rogue state or this is a greater threat to human life than Saddam Hussein."

-- Bono, 2002, on the AIDS crisis in Africa

me again
howya going?

Me? ....... I like you asking and meaning it.
Sometimes people ask and have walked six steps away from me before I have opened my mouth.

I feel ok. Feel good and a wee tired tonight. Have worked my last day before holiday. Tomorrow is packing and closing down the shop - and convincing Zig that Richard is a great cat-sitter. I am sure he will remember him from last years gig and will strike up some purrfect discussions.
Saturday we gogo.

Back to feelings as I try to dig em out from the tiredness which is not the sleepy kind.
I am a bit 'demob'.
Bit stiff around the neck.
Eyes sore and right eye is bloodshot.
My soul feels good after a dose of BHP's

I am under the influence also of concern for Val who has gone into Barts today for a heart op - and Sue who had a cancer op last week - and Gills Mum in hospital - and Ann under pressure.
If you are a pray-er ............ count this as a request for added energy - a plea - some special heaven to earth yearning. Love that will not let me go .........
Lord have mercy ..........


Thursday, June 03, 2004

.... just ordered the Rugby Leaguer weekly newspaper and will get it every Monday hey hey.

Had a panic this morning as I could not find my Gilles from last night. Found it lurking on my desk top and got it and iPoded it !!

thinking ............ when I do group work I project the condition of my soul on these beautiful humans.
Being with them is like holding a mirror up to my soul.
I feel me more.
I am viewed through my soul and they show me.
Never ever is there no challenge.
The only way to facilitate when things are not going well is to go deeper into my soul.
Deeper into risk.
Show my interior not just my exterior.
It is the authentic .......bare soul - that communicates you to others - so it is not just me it is us ALL.
That's what I feel ...... think .........

Our intelligence, experience, intellect, emotion, and spirit depend on each other for wholeness.

...... the glory of God is a person who is fully alive ..................

lets keep on the road together eh .............. and .......
Thanx for clicking and soaking in these words ............ it is like you just reached out and touched my finger tip with yours ...............
........... tired me.
Us Northerners often say 'me' at the end of a sentence.

Gilles Peterson Radio 1 is on right now and dropping his first 'all winners' of the year so far.
It is always a stonker.
I have years of these programmes on tape but now (te hee) it is pouring into my iMac hard drive and then to my iPod in the morrow.
Holiday grub.
Soul food.
Love it!

Tired me.
Long days and beautiful people.
Sometimes I see some human at a distance and I hate the language and the behaviour. That is the time when it is not easy to like or love.
Tell you the truth - I often don't like or love................................. at first.
Then I move in - or sometimes hang out and they move in. Sometimes being introduced by another is a fab way of gaining some respect/relationship quicker. The pace of early contact is vital. Not too pushy or gentle.
I can honestly say that once I am near to a person and have had some decent interactions - I can not stop the yearning of love. NOT 'for' them - it sounds too condescending - but feel a love with them. If I was repulsed I would struggle to work with people.

Sometimes people are out of their head with legal, or otherwise, medication. I often cannot get close but I still yearn and go out to that BHP and maybe - just maybe, sometimes get through the haze.

If you have been clicking here for sometime you may recall me sharing a difficult to think out a strategy to get the respect of someone with obnoxious behaviour.
Another example is in my memory of visuals in my head and heart, - from a interaction recently - which was evidence to me that there is trust me as an adult - and that is great. The use of that trust by me is sensitive and non-directive methods will remain.
Under the hardness is a bleeding heart and a big soul in need of a hug.
I was really not planning to click all that - that is always the case - I just click and out comes a rolling magazine .........

I am tired me ....................


Wednesday, June 02, 2004


"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.
This is the need we may call self-actualization ... It refers to man's
desire for fulfillment, namely to the tendency for him to become
actually in what he is potentially: to become everything that one
is capable of becoming ..."

Dr. Abraham Maslow
........ my friend big John went to see the Master Bruce Cockburn and is allowing me to show you this ......

Went to see Bruce Cockburn on saturday with wifey Jules in Leeds, and a little piece of Heaven, just like greenbelt, descended on us and that town.
Prompted me to say hello again and take a look at your blog and homepage.
Bruce was in absolute top form, i wish we could have gone on sunday to cardiff too, he was doing the warchild benefit gig with your mate martyn.
First song, Lord of the Starfields, into Lovers in a Dangerous Time, Open, then Pacing the Cage.

No words of introduction, no fuss, i swear if i died then i couldnt have been happier.
Tears flowed, a magical baring of the soul brought out by such agonising beauty in his music and in the man.

He wrestled his guitar with a tender struggle, and sang with tones and words that hit like a hundred pound tenderising hammer.

Watch out for a brand new song, called 'Mystery' which he did as an encore, literally still in development, it is real special.

Would be great to see him at Greenbelt this year, heres hoping.

Two great men ...............
meet big John at Greenbelt
Bruce Cockburn at Greenbelt hmmm ..............

...... this is the news and a link if interested.
* Anti-social behaviour: Nuisance neighbours face compulsory life
skills lessons

"Neighbours from hell" who are evicted from their council homes will
have to agree to take compulsory rehabilitation programmes to get
rehoused under new government plans.,7890,1228765,00.html


Tuesday, June 01, 2004

...............BEEF ON THE BONE IS BACK ................

........ me and Joan are really keen supporters of the Rugby League game. Love it love it.

When we are on holiday we will miss some massive games between other teams and of course our own.
A real deprivation.

David Joans brother has a machine that tapes TV onto DVD's and that means I can take the one I have on holiday and watch it on my mactop by the pool ................ hmmm
If you have such a machine you could tape all the rugby league games and send them me when I get back to help my beef on the bone pangs. Well - wishful thinking!

The other night - after I had clicked a bitty blog I walked upstairs and thought
' I am at peace'
So much of my last job was things undone and late night work at home and taking people to bed with me and waking up with the same person in the morning. I am not there now. I live at strech. Wanting to be uncertain and uneasy and dis-satisfied ....... because that is where development is. But I am on a journey.
I would never sacrifice freedom for security ........
I will always want to be on the edge and not in the centre where wholeness does not reside.

I was thinking - did you see the news item about evicted/bad/violent families who were to be directed towards 'life skills' as part of their rehousing? I would love to work with them, work with them if they volunteered of course - work with them developmentally.

........... hope you are ok and yearning to belong .........?

"Human beings were made for relationships. Without nourishing networks of connections we wither and die"
(I read it somewhere)

..... felt a bit low today.
Flat maybe a better word
-eyes want to stay shut
-mind a bit dead

Don't know why.
- w/e too busy?
- pre hol blues?
- too many days off?
If I felt like this all the time I could not work with people.

I try to be honest. Do you like that?
Do you click this blog because you are interested in;
- how I feel?
- Think?
- do?
- believe?
- wrestle with?
- love?
- ??

Interested that's all
hmmm ......... kick the darkness until it bleeds daylight