Sunday, November 12, 2017

Three people asked me a similar question - my reflective answers here.

1)  How (and maybe when – if that is not a 2nd question)
Did you reach the place where you can see everyone
As a Beautiful Human Person?
2)  My question to you Pip BHP, which I'm asking because you appear to find good in everyone...
Have there been people in your life where you truly could not find the BHP inside?
If yes then what made you stop looking with this person, and if no, what gives you the compassion to find what others can't ?
 3) So many things I’d like to ask you, for you are a man of wisdom and experience…. However I’ve settled on this one: On a scale of one (lowest) to ten (highest) how beautiful do you feel right now, and what do you mean by ‘beautiful'?
(I’ve asked this because one of the most influential statements in my life, both for me and my own sense of self-worth, and for others in all my youth work / church work / life work has been the one you coined: ‘You are Beautiful’ - and I wondered how you’d feel when it’s directed to you…)
Love John
I am glad you ask about 'how do I FEEL right now’ because 
I believe I am beautiful - it took me until I was age 40 
to be able to accept that and, the  years following, 
struggling to actually say that !
I have traveled around the world asking people these questions::  
i) Do you feel beautiful? 
ii) Do you believe you are beautiful? 
Everyone says NO to the first question. 
A few say 'YES but ..’  to the second. 
Me? - Scale 1 to 10? I say (7) - I feel pretty positive uplifted encouraged 
(I am typing out my answer to you all and feel blessed!
Me? - 
I have to accept I am beautiful because 
I believe that you are - and everyone is - so I must count myself in too. 
You may know one of my quotes 
“WE can see a person’s behaviour but we can’t see their journey” 
Behaviour can be beautiful or ugly. 
The soul, the core of each person is beautiful. 
Created as a beautiful innocent child & forever valuable, precious, special, unique …..
Our beauty does not depend on what the scales say, 
what the mirror says, or what our feelings say sometimes ……  
So when I was working with gangs, on the edge, with my feelings in the gutter - I started to believe and say to each one, as I do still, YouAreBeautiful. 
I knew I could not work with young humans & violent behaviour, foul abuse and more, living, as we were, in a community with the highest crime in the country - with 80% local youth unemployment, unless I began to see through their behaviour into their beautiful souls.
You ask how do I feel when it is directed to me. 
I have had, and have, some of the toughest hardest biggest men in my life who tell me I am beautiful. 
AND it feels good that they are in a place where they are able to say that and I receive it warmly.
I have had many people in my life when I could not see/find/feel the BHP inside. 
I have trained myself, and still at it, to deal with these initial feelings by walking through a curtain of those feelings. 
Owning these feelings. 
Feeling these feelings - not suppressing. 
Once I realise I have that feeling 
(negative, Dislike, Distaste) 
I deliberately walk through my curtain of feelings, 
accepting & acknowledging those feelings, 
but going beyond them to connect with 
the beautiful who may be out of sight.
There is always a reason, a purpose in violence, aggression - 
all behaviour .............
But I believe. 
I am attracted to people with obnoxious behaviour. 
(An obnoxious person is a hurting person - I believe). 
I am still scared of violence - I hate it. 
I have lived with it so much 
I have felt it in my blood stream. 
I still sit with my back to the wall in a cafe..............