On the way back from the funeral, I said to Joan, that I felt I had a body covered in little cracks and, if anyone shouted boo - I would disintegrate into bit and pieces.
Since then we have had a week-end to have some head space and I have focused on gigs ahead. As usual I am heading for a new context, new challenge, complex objectives which take me through the next year. The design makes me sweat. I have done it. Now it is the detail which isn't the same pressure.
I am well behind on things.
Backlogville!!
Strict priorities this week.
I mix with all sorts of humans. Some of these are people of faith. Some are committed Christians and I love asking the question 'what sort of Christian are you now?'
Love the answers - but then they usually ask me and ......... it is not so easy to answer!
As usual there are the Christians who seem to continue to live and behave just like their peers. Others seem to be simply engaged with their God and breathe with him in their every move. Others complain about the drain upon their financial investments while others have to cut back on the amount of bread they buy.
Each have to make their own decision before God. Some, it seems, don't make decisions - just drift.
As I say about those I work with, those who seem to struggle in the survival zone, they have toothache.
What do you think about when you have toothache?
Answer:: Toothache!
Distractions can drive us into nil decision making and that relates to faith, financial considerations and lifestyle. To some it seems just like another part of their social life. I don't want God as a hobby.
"We can see a persons behaviour but we cannot see their experience" - so who am I to judge another. There is so much unseen - unknown - I can see what I can see - but I am so so short on awareness that I want to weep.
At the end of this fragile two weeks I have caught up on the Blogging of Big John and Paul Chambers. I feel feelings of envy as they have been experiencing the land once called Holy. Not only the land, but with a group of Greenbelters - a community I love.
They have experiences injustice first hand. Felt it. Sipped at the well. They will never be the same again. I delight in their pain and envy it. See the links above.
I have loved their facebook updates and the pictures. Well worth a read.
I look forward to a few late night catch-ups in the near future.
