"For as I went through the city, I looked carefully .............."
Acts::17

I always have my little life book with me in Church.
I am always reflecting in it.
And as always,
I looked carefully.

I am always intrigued by the young woman who often carries the candle, robed, leading the choir.
There are others doing it - but she must be 19?, and yet she is so serene.

A song today took me back to Mobberley Boy's School in Cheshire.
Paul Delight used to play it as we all contributed to the out of tune bits.
Joan was 21, I was 26 when we sold up, burned bridges, and moved to live there as Houseparents.
It was a school by name but really a prison for young boys 14 to 17. All from Manchester.
It was the start of our journey - break away
follow the call
risk
risk failure
learn
inability turning to competence - well ......... not so much the competence.

Before this job, I was working at Pilkington Glass in their Research Laboratory.
They used to call me 'the Rocking Vicar' because I was always singing as I worked.

I am on my laptop and Zig is sitting at my feet.
He only does this when Joan is away.
I guess he doesn't want to lose us both!

I used to be scared of attractive girls, and as got older, attractive women.
Attractive in my perception.
Now - I look beyond the attractive smiles and see the hurts behind the teeth - just like all of us .....
NOW ......... I just say "You are beautiful" ........ I guess not many say that to them ..........

Grace was 100 yesterday.
My Mother would have been 100 this year.
The organ ripped into full volume for the closing hymn but it turned out to be 'Happy Birthday to Grace'.
After the service there was a glass of wine for all and a birthday cake.
AND a fab chart on the wall, peered at by young and old.
It had lots of here photos on it, family and many historic changes and happenings during the last 100 years.
It had a copy of her birth certificate and, more importantly, the beautiful human Grace was there too.


I wonder if I will make 100?
I am 21 now ....... so that will be 79 years more = year 2087 !!

"There is a program in the schools in Toronto
called Roots of Empathy.

A woman named Mary Gordon started this program in 1996.
She brings babies—yes, real live babies-- into Toronto classrooms
to help students learn social and emotional literacy
to promote empathy,
to promote caring for someone other than yourself,
especially for the someones who are weaker and more vulnerable.

Research is showing that the program reduces aggression,
especially bullying, in the schools.

Mary Gordon tells this story:

Darren was the oldest child I ever saw in a “Roots of Empathy” class.
He was in Grade 8 and had been held back twice.
He was two years older than everyone else
and already starting to grow a beard.
His mother had been murdered in front of his eyes
when he was four years old,
and he had lived in a succession of foster homes ever since.

Darren looked menacing
because he wanted us to know he was tough:
His head was shaved except for a ponytail at the top
and he had a tattoo on the back of his head.

The mother who had brought her baby Evan into the classroom that day
talked to the class about how her baby liked to face outward
in his Snugli, a type of baby carrier,
and that Evan wasn’t really a cuddly sort of baby.
When the mother asked if anyone would like to try on the Snugli,
which was green and trimmed with pink brocade,
everyone was stunned when Darren said he would.

Just then the class ended and students rushed off to lunch,
but Darren stayed behind.

He strapped on the Snugli
and then asked the mother if he could put Evan in.
The mother was a little nervous but she handed him her baby,
And Darrin put Evan in the Snugli, facing toward his chest.

That wise little baby snuggled right in,
And Darrin took him into a quiet corner and rocked back and forth
with the baby in his arms for several minutes.

Finally, he came back to where the mother and the teacher were waiting
and asked:
“If nobody has ever loved you,
do you think you could still be a good father?”

If nobody has ever loved you,
do you think you could still be a good father."

I read this on the web.
I just started to sob.
Tears of Wilson.
It got to me where I hurt.
Where I yearn.
Where I belong.
I am not ashamed of the tears ..............

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..... a new Blog site has been set up by some beautiful human - to enable humans like us to contribute thoughts and reflections related to John O'Donohue.
Also a link to a series of Podcast ............... interested?

http://jodonohue.blogspot.com/


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Greenbelt today.
Beautiful humans.
Searching the soul.
Yearning.
Dialogue.
Laughter.
Devotion.
Deciding.
Becoming.

Church in the morning.
Coffee with Mr Singh after.
Maybe a curry with Mr Singh in the evening.
It is like sitting at the feet of Wisdom.

Picking up some new spectacles on Monday.
Meeting with Miss Em after.
Love catching up and,
a bit like my inbox,
neglected.

Joan home from 'up North' about 5pm.
She will be as drained as usual but,
we will be able to have a good catch-up.

Two books recommended to me this week
'Crucial Conversations'
'Mountains Beyond Mountains'

Tuesday - more 'going to love'.
Wednesday Joan and me go to France.
Champagne!
hey hey

All facts above - and in L5 terms,
these facts are 'Level Two'.

Level Five me.
===========
I felt some unease at the Greenbelt meeting today - at first.
I have missed the connection which I have had from 25 years of monthly meetings - sometimes more than monthly.
It soon went, disappeared, when in the presence of Angels.
Now my feelings are satisfaction. Relaxed. A wee bit tired but mainly a deep sense of purpose and relaxation.

The principle behind emotional literacy is - we need to be in contact with our feelings in the everyday situation. Not just when feelings explode. Not just when they overwhelm. It seems to me that, if we can't get in touch with our feelings 'on demand' - we will never be able to manage them when the going gets tough. When in tense situations. When there is irritation with the one you love, a child, a work colleague and, in fact, anyone.

I end with considering your beauty.
I think the worst thing about your unbeautifulness is
your imperfection in recognising your beauty.
Loving your beauty.
You are beautiful .............

Blood tests and samples today.
Hospital - big and bold here in the Wilson Mansions community.
Not a long wait like last time.
I was 87, last time 189 in line.
So boring but all in the cause of sorting the gut issue, documented in blogs below.

I always talk to the blood suckers.
Nurses taking the samples.
Today by a young man, origin Bangladesh.
I told him that my friend Mr Singh, fought in the Indian Army for his country.

They handle 300 humans each day - outpatients only.
Add to that - the residing patients from the wards.
This is a multi billion pound hospital,
serving a big chunk of East London.

While I was out and about on the London double Decker's,
I was capturing BenjiB at home, a most wondrous DJ who plays such great stuff for two hours a week.
It is unclicked back at home, then is slides automatically into iTunes and then to a docked iPod.
Loveit love it.

At the same time, on the double Decker - and in the 87 queue,
I was listening to Gilles Peterson - loveitloveit.
When I die - I will miss Gilles Peterson, BenjiB, Pete Tong, Late Junction, Westwood, Mary Ann Hobbs, Essential Mix .....
Will there be music in heaven?
and I have the new Roots album due, the new Bugge Weseltoft, Portishead, Roots Manuva ........
NOT Madonna but maybe the Ting Tings, Jamie Lidell, Tiesto, Carl Craig, Doug Walker .........
Can I capture and download in heaven?
Or will there be live artistes giging?
I cannot imagine my life without music,
or my death ..............

I have been screaming and shouting tonight.
I have had all fingers pointed - not just one.
I have been taking my clothes off - sweating.
I have been moving from seat to seat.
My Team 'come on the Saints' have been on TV.
I was overwhelmed by the energy, speed, passion.
I was captivted by the toughness in the tackle.
I was gripped by speed and skill.
and we won 22 - 30.
whew - it was close and the Wires done good.
I feel for them.
We always win.
We play them in the Wembley cup in two weeks time.
It will be tough again ..........

I am at the Greenbelt Trustee day tomorrow so I can't do a catch up on my inbox - it must happen Sunday.

Next Wednesday Joan and me will be drinking Champagne.
And Thursday.
And Friday.
Then we return home from the home of Champagne - Rheims.
We are going for a couple of nights - just chilling.
Meals out, Champagne, visit to a Champagne House,
Michelin Star Restaurants - love it love it .....

Some Questions for your soul
have a go at them.

Do you set aside all you principles and beliefs when you get angry?
Are you more snappy and irritable with those humans who you love the most?
When you are tired, do you feel that feeling - or just say something negative which you wouldn't if you were fresh faced?
When someone is saying something you don't like, do you look at their facial expression and try to hear what is behind the words?
Do you believe that the most disliked human in your life - is a beautiful human person?
Do you believe that there is no such a thing as a difficult human, just difficult behaviour?
Is your behaviour being modelled for you, and whispered to you, by your parent - even if they have died?
Do you sometimes regret how you have transacted with another human?
Do you sometimes have deep feelings about how you have communicated to another human?
Do you believe that you can change for the better?
Do you do anything about it?

I am eating a ginger biscuit - the best on earth from Fortnum & Mason's.
Joan bought me a tin on Tuesday when we had our good news day in town.

I am blogging instead of touching my 166 emails in my inbox.
I will have half a day tomorrow and Saturday to reconnect in the eWorld.

I have just captured Gilles Peterson from the BBC Listen again service.
I will keep it forever and will listen three times this week.
He comes with me in the car, on the underground, in the bathroom.

I have had a long day.
I don't say I go to work.
I say "I go to love".

One thing sticks in my mind.
A beautiful human woman.
Dressed in a floral dress.
She works the nightshift in a special needs hostel for young humans.
She said that, one night, she toured the floors in the hostel,
delivering toilet rolls to the hostel toilets.
She did it twelve times to try, informally, to bump into one of the residents who was isolating himself.
She did the act of delivering toilet rolls - twelve times ...............



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Leaning Towers of Pip Wilson dot com

Tired here. Long day.
Prius on the Motorways and still clocking an average of 57 mpg.
Sat Nav - I feel guided by Angels.
6 am start.
Fantastic day.

I was working with a Team who run two hostels for High Needs young beautiful humans.
I was impressed with their humanity.
Full of character - every one.
It was a pacey experiential day.
It was stretching for me.
They were up for the stretching.
"Growth does not reside in a place called comfortable" - this was a highlight for a number of those present.
If that is a stand out, an intrigue for them - it is a good start.

If an individual, or a team, work with behaviour that challenges daily - they are usually keen to explore 'learning'.
Not always, but usually.
I loved how they started to be open from the start.

Do you ever feel you are communicating with someone, and they are trapped in superficiality?
Do you follow the line - or do you desire to break away and try coming in at the side.
A question.
A different level of question or comment?

These workers are faced with young humans who stay in bed for as long as they can cope with, then getting out of bed to empty hours and days.
A spliff or two.
An emotional explosion or two.
A depression or two.
A relationship gone wrong .................. or two.

An expressed need in these young humans, is a yearning to belong.
Particularly their own family.
Often they have been rejected by their family.
The family cannot cope with the young human.
The young human has cocked things up and doesn't know how to sort out the mess.
Inadequacy confronting inadequacy.
Families with few resources to bring to being successful parents.
Young humans with no grip on life.
They don't know where the handles are to turn.
They don't know where the buttons are to press - to make life work for them.

My job today, in the training context, is to create learning experiences where the staff can set their own imagination free.
Free to be strategic in thinking and applying both supportive techniques and intervention. All done developmentally.
A big job.
We tried working on that today.
It was good and steps forward made.
A distinct privilege to be amongst them.

................. and just take a deep breath, in and out, slowly and deeply................ start now .........
Notice that small gap between breathing in - and starting to breath out.
In that very gap - I can hear a whisper (whispered to you) and these words are ................... "you are beautiful" ........

.

100 women taking annual blood tests.
100 women taking annual scans.
Six years on, the ovarian cancer tests continue.

A few weeks ago Joan, who has been volunteering to do these research tests, was issued with a letter about an irregularity.
I cancelled I planned training course I was leading for today, so I could go with her for a re-check - and, I will say this quickly, all the results were clear. It was a mistake. She is fine.
We were really pleased and Joan ........ very much relieved ........

So we stayed in London town which was drenched in sun. A large turn around from recent weeks.
We walked in St James Royal Park. Sipped peppermint tea. Chilled in the sun.
Then we walked up Piccadilly to Fortnum-Mason, the Queens shop - it was so beautiful that I snapped a few colourful views with my iPhone.
Then we slipped down the street and had afternoon tea at The Wolseley, a favourite restaurant.
Beautiful.
Great day - once the tension had slipped away.
It makes us feel deeply for many humans who's scans are not clear, and they have to face a different journey when they leave the hospital confines ...

Early start tomorrow ......... will get back to you late tomorrow.
You are beautiful.

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