Mothers Day has past.
I am still listening to
DJ's still talking about the day.

Leading courses of the years
I have met so many humans
who have a priority in life
'Not to be like their Mother'.

I remember one woman telling me
about her oppression
= her Mother.
She felt she had to go and visit her.
She was forty+ years old
yet she felt like a child
when she was with her Mother.

We worked the group through
using different awareness exercises
developing skills in this emotional world.
Sometimes called
Emotional Literacy.
Sometimes called
Emotional Intelligence.

One of my favourite questions
to you,
to anyone who allows me close,
is
"When did you become an adult?"

My answer is
when I was forty I became an adult.
I remember visiting my Mother shortly afterwards.
I held her hand - checked how long
a pinch of skin took to settle down
on the back of her hand.
When she told me to get a hair cut -
I said to her
"Mother - I am forty now -
I am keeping an eye on my hair
every morning
and I will decide ........."
And because I was smiling and looking into her eyes
and so close - it was a great moment.

It was me who had stepped out into independence.
It was an emotional thing.
Me managing my emotions
NOT controlling them,
but managing them without hurting another.

I hope the Sheilas don't want to be like me.

I regret so much of the Father I have been.
Not with dread -
I always tried my best midst the emotional inadequacy.
Temper. Shouting. Irritation. What a mess (sometimes).
I have asked them to forgive me - some years ago.
They said they would.

I don't want them to be like me.
Maybe take parts.
Definitely leave out chunks!

The main thing
the main thing
the MAIN thing -
is that they decide ..................

Oppression is a terrible thing.
Freedom is a wonderful experience.

Please don't oppress your children
or anyone else's
for such is the Kingdom of God

Manners matter more than grades, say parents

Good discipline in schools, regular communication with parents and a well-stocked library are more important than academic standards, according to a survey of parents' views of what makes an ideal education.

Almost all parents said manners and good behaviour were vital lessons that schools should teach children. Most parents also agreed that full and stable staffing levels were also essential to a good education, while 74% said a good library was key. In comparison, just 63% of parents rated good overall academic results as a defining feature of an ideal school.

Rather than fearing that their children's education could be damaged by a mixed learning environment, the Ipsos MORI poll also found that parents believe that a broad intake of pupils is "essential" to a good education.

The results reveal that parents are far more liberal towards education than they are generally given credit for, said James Crabtree, acting deputy editor of Prospect magazine, which commissioned the poll of more than 1,000 adults.

continued here::

Blob Group Cards

A box of cards to shuffle and

talk about

life

relationships

communication

This is my Mother.
She is now wheeling around in heavenly places.

Mothers Day today in the UK.

Mothers Day

All four sons were with her when she died in hospital.
I held her hand until she stopped breathing.
It was a special time.
It was beautiful in so many ways.
Sad and distressing - yes
but a privilege ...........

I have sometimes communicated in this blog dipping place,
and you who may have read about it if you have clicked this way before.
I have told about when I was working in the East End of London.
Working with youth street gangs giving my all - beyond breaking point.
Demanding it was.
Giving it was....... and at the same time ....

My Mother was about to enter hospital to have her legs amputated - one above the knee, one below the knee.
Here I was in East London, in the most deprived community in the nation
working with beautiful humans who were deep into crime and enjoying violence and .....
..... my Mother was due to enter hospital over 200 miles away.

I was sat near the snooker table in the club.
Back to the wall.
I always sit with my back to the wall.
The young humans I work with had heard about my Mother and of what was about to happen.
I was subdued that evening and not my usual bustling, bouncy, verbal self.
As I sat with my back to the wall near to the snooker table -
one of the toughest of the gang members walked around the table a couple of times.
Walking ever so slow - walking ever so close - but not stopping ... not speaking ........
Then, as he walked past me again,
and as he did he just stroked my hair away from my forehead and walked on.
........... that was the point when the sobs rose from my chest as I felt it
- that act of beautiful tenderness .......
As I click these keys now tears fill my eyes - again.

I choked, I think, because I was at a depth of vulnerability
I felt and I connected with those feelings - felt that.
Also it was because I connected with the act of non-verbal sensitivity,
gentleness and kindness pouring out of an inarticulate frame of a tough and violent young man.
I remembered it now and it moves my soul ..........

I learned a lot from that incident of care.
That incident was not a chosen moment of my vulnerability.
But I learned that it is a mistake to see vulnerability as a weakness.
Vulnerability is all about disclosing the authentic me.

Since then I have chosen,
and tried my best,
to reveal my vulnerability.
Not because I am submissive (instead of assertive)
or in Child ego state (instead of Adult ego state).
It is part of the process of me 'telling you who I am'.
It has driven my sensitivity towards 'the least' 'the underside'
and many beautiful humans I spend time with regularly
(who some say have 'special needs' )
.......... .......haven't we all?

So with the people we work with
- some people call them clients,
and those we work alongside
- some say colleagues .....
it seems to me that we need to practice
the naked act of sharing when we feel life experiences
...... both the roses and the thorns.
Beautiful Imperfection ........................

"Grace strikes us when we walk through the dark valley
of an empty and meaningless life…
when,
year after year,
the longed for perfection does not appear,
when the old compulsions rage within us
as they have for decades,
when despair destroys all joy and courage.
Sometimes at that moment
a ray of light breaks into our darkness,
and it is as though a voice were saying,
‘ You are accepted.
You are accepted,
accepted by that which is greater than you,
and the name of which you do not know.
Do not ask for the name now;
perhaps you will find it later.
Do not do anything now;
perhaps later you will do much.
Do not seek anything, do not perform anything,
do not intend anything.
Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.’
If that happens to us, we experience grace."

paul tillich

I believe vulnerability is a strength not a weakness.

I believe
vulnerability
is a strength
not a
weakness

that's why it ends with
ability
not
disability.

I am late night Wilson
after a long day.

Beautiful to come home
and watch my team on TV.
We were playing the Rhinos
and as the underdogs.
AND we won.
beauty full.

It is so relaxing to be drawn into a game.
These are the two top teams in the Super League.
Saints v Leeds Rhinos
and we won - I delight.

I will be able to catch up on emails over the week-end.
And some propa blogging.
I have had so many vivid experiences
so I need to blog.

In the meantime.
I will share my
5 words to describe my life -
but others before me - thank you for these.

Dana::
curious
sleepy
wishful
poetic-minded
thirsty

Bex::
Stretched
Concerned
Challenged
Hopeful
Safe


James::
Scared,
Scarred,
Hopeful,
Guilty,
Love

Derek::
thinking
crossroads
itchy
tired
opening

Pip::
Challenged
Stimulated
Catchup
Stop/think/refocus
Deep.

... and you .......?

I am playing
on repeat
only one song
only one track
it is
Magnificent.

I feel deep
troubled
concerned.
I stumble with this praying thing.
I believe.

I believe in this
living sacrifice thing.
It hurts
it has payback
no regrets.
Magnificent.

I believe
the whole of life
is a prayer.

It is directed to who we worship.
Sometimes humans go for things.
Sometimes humans.
Sometimes human activities.

I believe.
I believe that
Only love
only love
can leave such a scar.

Magnificent.

I want to direct my prayer
my life
living
sacrifice
a living one.

Only love
can leave
such a scar.

I hand you my scars.
To your hand
with your scars
Magnificent
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I was born
I was born to be with you
In this space and time
After that and ever after I haven’t had a clue
Only to break rhyme
This foolishness can leave a heart black and blue

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar

I was born
I was born to sing for you
I didn’t have a choice but to lift you up
And sing whatever song you wanted me to
I give you back my voice
From the womb my first cry
It was a joyful noise

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar

Justified till we die
You and I will magnify
The Magnificent
Magnificent

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love unites our hearts

Justified till we die
You and I will magnify
The Magnificent
Magnificent
Magnificent

U2

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"We trained hard. But it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up in teams, we would be re-organised.

I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by re-organising - and a wonderful method it can be for creating an illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation"

Extract from the writings of the Roman, Petronius Arbitor, Governor of Bithynia, who committed suicide in AD65, having fallen foul of Tigellinus, favourite of Nero.