A container.

You have 

I have 

A container. 

I wonder about the future 

Will we have one 

Or not need one?

www.pipwilson.com

*

The Meaning of Persons

"We become fully conscious only 

of what we are able to express 

to someone else. 

We may already have had a certain inner intuition about it, 

but it must remain vague so long as it is unformulated" 

Paul Tournier 

from "The Meaning of Persons"

*

This is highly disturbing video ...... and I weep as I post this

This is highly disturbing video ......

In English with French subtitles.

It takes you into benefits claim office ....

I am in tears as I type this .......

EVERY 2 MINUTE IN THE UK

THIS HAPPENS TO A YOUNG PERSON EVERY DAY.

Today Today

video - Old School Gil Scott Heron "The Bottle" love their style of dress

VIDEO - I'm new here - on coming from a broken home. Gil Scott Heron and I weep now ........

I came from a BROKEN HOME 

by Gil Scott-Heron

I want to make this a special tribute

to a family that contradicts the concepts

heard the rules but wouldn't accept

and women-folk raised me

and i was full grown before i knew

I came from a broken home

sent to live with my grandma down south

when my uncles was leaving

and my grandfather had just left for heaven

they said and as every-ologist would certainly note

i had no strong male figure right?

But lily Scott was absolutely not your mail order room service type cast black grandmother

i was moved in with her; temporarily, just until things were patched,

til this was patched and til that was patched

until i became at 3, 4, 5,6 ,7, 8, 9 and 10

the patch that held lily Scott who held me and like them

i become one more and I loved her from the absolute marrow of my bones

and we was holdin on,

i come from a broken home

She had more then the 5 senses

she knew more then books could teach

and raised everyone she touched just a little bit higher

and all around her there was a natural sense

as though she sensed what the stars say what the birds say

what the wind and the clouds say

a sensual soul and self that African sense

and she raised me like she raised 4 of her own

and i was hurt and scared and shocked when lily Scott left suddenly one night

and they sent a limousine from heaven to take her to god, if there is one.

So i knew she had gone; and

i came from a broken home

Lyrics by Gil Scott-Heron

"I came from a broken home." my Blog and a VIDEO

"I came from a broken home."

Not me

I am quoting Gil Scott-Heron 

poet, recording artiste, campaigner.

Remembering his death

tomorrow 2011

I once saw a gig.

I missed him face-to-face 

when he failed to turn up at

The Greenbelt Festival.

BUT his band turned

and I enjoyed talking with them ..

I came from a broken home .....

My work - MISSION::

I worked with a group of

wounded young humans some time ago. 

Everyone of them had

come from a broken home. 

All had either been forced to leave

or chosen to leave because they were 

~being physically battered 

~made to feel they were not wanted

~abused

Another young man I know 

was pushed away to live with grandmother 

no place for him 'at home'.

In his twenties he still feels rejected

and has little confidence.

To feel unwanted 

must be absolutely terrible. 

Another tells me,

and it still rings in my ears,

that he was moved out

to nothing because

he was caught up in endless fights

between his parents. 

He was cared for by the state 

He mental health was cared for

He talks about feeling like a stray cat. 

The stray cat lived on the street 

no food for days 

hardly sleeping 

no clean clothes

filthy hair 

all alone

feeling not good enough

feeling not enough.

He talks of walking into school

nobody knew him

feeling all alone 

without a family 

without a base 

without belonging 

without without. 

He heard screaming in the night 

He was full of such nightmares 

He felt lost emotionally

relationally and

totally unstable.

At home he never been acknowledged 

even doing well at school -

it was ignored. 

He did good things, NO PRAISE 

He joined a gang did bad things and

he was PRAISED BY HIS PEERS. 

So many I know and work with,

and such a privilege to know them, 

either 

explode - violence 

or 

Implode - self harm. 

***

Every 2 minutes a UK young person gets their benefits stopped

Group Work Youth Work in a Homeless Offenders Hard-to-reach Hostel

I was about to run a session called Donut 

where we start the session with eating donuts whilst 

dipping them in a fondue filled with warm chocolate ..........

The day/evening previously only two Hostel Residents turned up for the  Donut group work session.

I am working in a Hostel and the aim is to 

build a sense of belonging amongst special humans with special needs.

Sometimes I am on my own.

Sometimes overcrowded.

Now .............

it was 10 minutes past starting time and I only had two turn up.

Then came ::

Tony

Mickey

Mike

Karl

Mandy

Caroline

Here I was with a strange climate to conduct group work.

- new ones were sitting with arms folded.

- It is difficult to eat donuts, strawberries and chocolate with your arms folded!

We realxed as we dunked together and had a cup of tea ......

Then I did an exercise I had never done before.

I used a big box of matches.

I used a line of matches – I will walk through what I did and you can see the photo here.

1 the first match was placed down in full red headedness - an unused match.

2 the second I struck alight and blew out immediately.

3 the third I let burn half way before extinguishing.

4 the fifth was burned out completely.

5 the sixth was simply kept redheaded but broken almost in two

6 this one I split down the middle with my thumb nail.

Then I asked all to my question - ”which match is you?”

I started first.

I believe I must start with self revelation - 

otherwise it is unfair to ask them to do something 

which may open up their vulnerability.

I always want to share my own vulnerability first.

Model the level of sharing ……..

I started sharing how I had been battered in life, 

the half burned one was me, 

and yet that was a quality because 

I had been hurt and damaged by life – 

and have learned from the burning – the dark side of me.

Everyone joined in - everyone did it.

Each took their turn.

Even though a number were first timers to a group-work session.

And - there was a fantastic climate of 'listening'.

Fertile soil.

Tony said something special. 

He said he was two matches. 

One the used one before being extinguished, 

and the other because he feels sometimes/often – broken. 

Remarkable honesty. 

Good for him to ‘own’ that – and great for others 

who were not finding it that easy to reach out and touch their reality.

All was going well when ……..

Big Brian and Big Jeff stumbled in 

and joined us around the circle of comfy chairs.

Tattoos and all.

They were both big, in their thirties, straight from the pub …..

The vibe changed. 

(Afterwards a few group members said they felt scared - 

they are big mature men).

They came in when I was conducting the next phase. 

I gave everyone a new match and asked everyone 

to say how they wanted their match to be in the future. 

I said to Big Brian, as I threw him a match, 

“You can do what you want with it 

as long as you don’t burn the Hostel down”  

He scowled and asked did I know his 'previous’. 

(previous convictions)

A tense moment***.

Some deep and powerful answers then flowed 

as humans made flowers from their matches.

Bent and twisted their match - formed a smile with it.

Big Jeff fell asleep. Alcohol does that to you sometimes.

Imagination was rife – with a struggle.

Big Brian said, as he removed the red bit from his match,

”this is a cornerstone”.

This is the cornerstone for the future. 

He then asked (directed us all in real terms!) 

to all to stay as he left to go to his Hostel room…………………….

He returned in a few minutes with a most beautiful 

hand crafted picture frame with a photograph of his daughter in it. 

Looking closer at the picture frame – 

it was compiled completely out of many matches glued together. 

Lightly varnished.

Beautiful.

He had made this work of art and beauty in Prison.

An object of no real value but valuable beyond measure to him…..

...... and to me with a depth of emotion.

The group stilled.

Time and Donut Group was finished. 

The group lingered on and talked more - on and on. 

Others came and hung out. 

Two more regulars strolled in late as usual.

And ........

Big Brian started trying to organise a session for the next day for eager humans. 

To be creative with matches. To teach us all how to be practice and create art.

He wanted to be the corner stone for them. 

He wanted to help us with his skill. 

He wanted to be, not just a Community Taker, 

but a COMMUNITY MAKER.

It was well gone midnight and we were still playing music 

and drifting in and out of significant conversations.

Fertile soil.

Community.

Being and becoming.

Reflecting on this ::

It had been a poor start - few in number.

It had grown and become a wondrous developmental climate.

The group, having formed, was disrupted by outsiders - big and aggressive.

I had been threatened in it.

I had felt the aggression.

(I was visibly aggressively threatened when I took a photo of him.

I still have the photo of him pointing an aggressive finger at me - 

but I asked him to trust me - I settled him down ……)

I had never ever done this match group exercise before.

Big Brian had never ever been to the group before.

That evening he came to the Donut Group – and 

we used used the matches exercise on that very evening.

Big Brian and me recon it was God doing his stuff.

A miracle of small or large proportions – depending on your inclinations.

A positive step for individuals.

A positive step in terms of group, community, understanding, 

development, belonging and experiential extreme.

** Big Brian, in passing, told me afterwards 

that he had once burned his former school down - 

that is why he became threatening 

when I mentioned burning down the Hostel!

Two names have been changed.



*

LOVE WINS

A challenge for me, 

when I see/meet someone with ugly behaviour/ language, 

is to immediately pass through those feelings to value & love.

 L⃣o⃣v⃣e⃣w⃣i⃣n⃣s⃣ 

#YouAreBeautiful 
www.pipwilson.com
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TWITTER @RealPipWilson

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