Monday, October 20, 2014

#FEELINGS. If I don't know what to write I think 'feelings'.

If I don't know what to write 
I think 'feelings'.

I am feeling a myriad of feelings.
How are you feeling?
Can you name a few?
('FINE' is not a feeling ........)
I am talking about the inner non physical stuff.
EVEN the physical feelings have the emotional type of feelings too.

I am feeling 
*drained a bit
ALSO feeling 
a deep 
Never complete.
I feel mainly good but I wonder about some slight 
*uneasy feelings.

I have just returned from Bradford and Huddersfield in Yorkshire.
I was facilitating a residential week-end for a youth work team 
(++ they do lots different kinds of magnificent people work).

They are called eMerge.
The last time I worked with them was back in 2010.
This time they wanted me to work with them on 'Emotional Resilience'.

If you read my stuff here or books
you will know that this stuff is high on my agenda.
Personally and professionally.

It all started when I was working with gangs back in the day.
Before that - working with young offenders since aged 26

I didn't even clock my own emotions in those years
never mind those of others.
Emotionally illiterate - ME!
Emotionally unintelligent - me!

But I have journeyed through 
pain and failure 
passion and fear
wounds and fear of them.

You can only get where I am if you read
'Gutter Feelings'

and my newest book
'The Backstreets of Heaven'.

These tell of the journey of my life.
My feelings and 
Gutter Feelings
because I feel the emotions of others in pain
Toothache I call it
BECAUSE when we have toothache
we can think of nothing else
so many people life with their toothache all the time.

I am feeling privileged to have spent so much time with these guys.
Ages across the spectrum
from young adults to well-trodden vets.
They meet and work with mainly young people with behavioural issues.
And of course that means emotional issues
(we all have them - me too!!)

I am in awe of them.
They carry 'incompleteness' in their emotional relational professional lives
like you do
like I do
but they are giving of themselves with passion and energy which inspire me.
Me - and I am certain many many others they encounter.

These are my feelings from being with them.
Of course I gave all I could offer to them
Experiential exercises to stimulate emotions
which then can be examined and transposed into their own context.
Their own lives.
Love it.
Loved it.

I could write more.
I need to reflect more
I have been away for more time in the last fortnight
than I have been at  home/office.
I need to catch up.
I need to catch my breath.
Reflect more backwards - to learn.
Think/plan forward to prepare myself for the next one.

I wonder how you are feeling?
Tell someone.
Jemmy it out of your soul.

Don't bury feelings.
They will never stay buried dead.
They are buried alive!
They remain alive and need to be levered out and examined.

Tell me if you can't tell anyone else at the moment.
SO so vital

I am feeling ..........