Friday, September 28, 2018
“…. the 15-year-old may have felt isolated and marginalised after they moved home.”
I try to write online every day.
Some days I have to spill more than one reflection/story/experience.
One story in the newspaper stood out to me.
About a 15 year old boy - and I am interested in all things ‘YOUTH’.
What grabbed by attention was this line::
“…. the 15-year-old may have felt isolated and marginalised after they moved home."
He had set fires locally resulting in the intervention of the fire services.
“He was interested to test explosives soon,” the Prosecutor said.
"He has also researched materials in relation to Syria, Isis and jihad and he has communicated with people about an intent or desire to go to Syria.
He's communicated with a number of people across the country who share that plan “
The main issue however was his admission that he was planning a ‘Rigby style’ attack.
A beheading.
I am always striving to understand teenager lives.
It’s not good enough to say “He is evil” about any behaviour
because that attitude never strives to understand a motivation.
“…. the 15-year-old may have felt isolated and marginalised after they moved home.”
The movie ‘Inside - Out’ , by PIXAR, is about a child who moves home and is disturbed by that life event.
We all need to see it especially males - perhaps something will get transposed into daily lives?
Life events such as moving home are big in an adult life.
One of the major stress experiences along with a family death.
I guess the major impact is the loss of the home environment, the loss of friends, school, community and generally a resulting insecurity.
Somehow we need to work on our culture which somehow leaves many boys and men with an inability to communicate their feelings.
12 men will commit suicide in the UK today.
So tragically so.
TRAGIC.
Seems to me there is an inability to share emotional, inner activity, leaving suicide as a fatal last option.
I didn’t know anything about emotions until I was 40 years old.
I didn’t know in my head that I had them - yet I was full f them.
Full of anger and aggression with a terrible temper.
None had introduced me to the inner life in the education system, in my home or anywhere else.
I was brought up totally emotionally unintelligent.
I did a Gestalt course in my 40’s which introduced me to my own feelings and then on to being in empathy with the feelings of others.
My 1979 study of Gangs and Deprivation Factors resulted in me coming up with ‘Emotional Deprivation’ as the most damaging deprivation.
15 or 40 we still are responsible for our own behaviour.
BUT, it seems to me, that we need not to just be reactors to behaviour but need to put a lot more into the inner human education rather depending on the justice and prison service to ‘put them away’.
Educate
not only for exams
BUT
Education for life.
We can see a persons behaviour but can’t see their journey -
or their emotional, spiritual, inner life unless we get close.
Thursday, September 27, 2018
TOP DOWN is not OK - about my TA / PAC journey
It was the late 70's when I was introduced to TA.
Ever since then I have used it.
Internally to sort myself out - still ongoing.
Externally in discussions, couching and problem solving with others.
Also as a module in the training/facilitation I do regularly.
TA is and has been for all these years, great in terms of connecting
feelings with the observation of the behaviour in others and myself.
It is a tool which sticks in my brain due to those three circles.
Images work in my brain better than words words words.
They are not just good enough in a stand alone sense.
A bit more about TA::
This is a slide from my module when I facilitate.
With basic facts about TA are methods to enable people to get the concept but then practice.
I use movie clips to engage people in observing PAC behaviour.
I have a great clip from East Enders, TV Soap, which is rammed with PAC transactions.
Blob Tree Tools are great for spotting PAC non- verbal communication.
I use Blob Tree Tools to get people reading the human behaviour and all
non-verbal transactions as being able to read PAC is foundational.
BUT the first skill is 'feeling the feelings' because - it is then we move from just getting on with life to being alert to the transactions going on around us.
FEELINGS, Behaviour and Thoughts are all triggers to the understanding of TA.
Then there is how we transact.
Our behaviour, tone of voice, non-verbal
communication can be vital in being in a helping relationship with
others.
The most vital situation for people workers like myself,
is when it is about to kick off.
I am talking about aggression and violence.
Many of the people I have worked with over the years face daily CONFLICT
SITUATIONS when their own transactions can make a situation worse OR
calm it down.
BHP
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
L5 helping all ages of humans to step into an emotional intelligent relationship - at work - at home - in leadership & in every day communication.
I refer to 'Level Five' when I get close enough to someone.
In hostels where I have spent many years of my life conducting group work,
(often only starting at 10 in the evening)
I introduce L5 and
encourage all to share something of their lives on each of the five steps.
WOW
Powerful stuff.
Someone in Norway, and can’t remember his name,
reminds me often of his experience doing this L5 exercise MANY YEARS AGO.
It sticks in the gullet.
We remember an experience more than words - lectures - even conversations.
L5 is a major influencer in helping to heal broken relationships.
It can and has saved marriages.
It has helping all ages of humans to step into an emotional intelligent relationship -
at work - at home - in leadership & in every day communication.
BHP
Tuesday, September 25, 2018
A new poster from Blob Tree Tools - called 'Which Blob do you feel like today'
Which Blob Do You Feel Like Today? Poster Set of 5
Discuss Feelings and Emotions in every classroom & staff room
This extraordinary resource is designed to stimulate discussion and sharing of HOW one feels and WHY.
Put it up in the staffroom and watch your colleagues gravitate towards it, which Blob do they feel like today? A great way to promote team communication, understanding and empathy.
Put one up in the classroom and see how children and young people gather round, work out which Blob they feel like and really get talking about their feelings and emotions.
Developed by Pip Wilson and Ian Long, The Blobs are genderless characters which are used internationally to help people discuss their feelings. They use facial and body language to express emotions, which enables everyone to grasp their meaning.
Each set contains 5 copies of this A3 laminated poster and an instruction booklet with question ideas and notes for guidance.
This poster set is also available in a classroom pack of 2 (10 posters) , 3 (15 posters) , 6 (30 posters) and 10 (50 posters). Use the drop down menu above to select.
Put it up in the staffroom and watch your colleagues gravitate towards it, which Blob do they feel like today? A great way to promote team communication, understanding and empathy.
Put one up in the classroom and see how children and young people gather round, work out which Blob they feel like and really get talking about their feelings and emotions.
Developed by Pip Wilson and Ian Long, The Blobs are genderless characters which are used internationally to help people discuss their feelings. They use facial and body language to express emotions, which enables everyone to grasp their meaning.
Each set contains 5 copies of this A3 laminated poster and an instruction booklet with question ideas and notes for guidance.
This poster set is also available in a classroom pack of 2 (10 posters) , 3 (15 posters) , 6 (30 posters) and 10 (50 posters). Use the drop down menu above to select.
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