Friday, September 28, 2018

“…. the 15-year-old may have felt isolated and marginalised after they moved home.”

I try to write online every day.
Some days I have to spill more than one reflection/story/experience.
One story in the newspaper stood out to me.
About a 15 year old boy - and I am interested in all things ‘YOUTH’.

What grabbed by attention was this line::

“…. the 15-year-old may have felt isolated and marginalised after they moved home."

He had set fires locally resulting in the intervention of the fire services. 
“He was interested to test explosives soon,” the Prosecutor said.

"He has also researched materials in relation to Syria, Isis and jihad and he has communicated with people about an intent or desire to go to Syria. 
He's communicated with a number of people across the country who share that plan “ 

The main issue however was his admission that he was planning a ‘Rigby style’ attack. 
A beheading.

I am always striving to understand teenager lives.
It’s not good enough to say “He is evil” about any behaviour 
because that attitude never strives to understand a motivation.

“…. the 15-year-old may have felt isolated and marginalised after they moved home.”
The movie ‘Inside - Out’ , by PIXAR, is about a child who moves home and is disturbed by that life event.

We all need to see it especially males - perhaps something will get transposed into daily lives?

Life events such as moving home are big in an adult life.
One of the major stress experiences along with a family death.

I guess the major impact is the loss of the home environment, the loss of friends, school, community and generally a resulting insecurity.
Somehow we need to work on our culture which somehow leaves many boys and men with an inability to communicate their feelings.

12 men will commit suicide in the UK today.
So tragically so. 
Seems to me there is an inability to share emotional, inner activity, leaving suicide as a fatal last option.

I didn’t know anything about emotions until I was 40 years old.
I didn’t know in my head that I had them - yet I was full f them.
Full of anger and aggression with a terrible temper.
None had introduced me to the inner life in the education system, in my home or anywhere else.
I was brought up totally emotionally unintelligent.

I did a Gestalt course in my 40’s which introduced me to my own feelings and then on to being in empathy with the feelings of others.
My 1979 study of Gangs and Deprivation Factors resulted in me coming up with ‘Emotional Deprivation’ as the most damaging deprivation.

15 or 40 we still are responsible for our own behaviour.
BUT, it seems to me, that we need not to just be reactors to behaviour but need to put a lot more into the inner human education rather depending on the justice and prison service to ‘put them away’.

not only for exams
Education for life.

We can see a persons behaviour but can’t see their journey - 
or their emotional, spiritual, inner life unless we get close.