..... eye surgery ....

.......DONE ...

.... sorry about not being in touch.. .....

.... see you tomorrow .....
.... better I hope ......


you are so beautiful ......


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....... PipPilgrim here .. .. .. .. .

I am a Pipgrim - on a journey and that is a journey of 'becoming' not just 'being'.

Years ago I made a big step - the biggest I believe - ever.
I decided to hand over my life and life journey to the designer and creator of life as I understood it.
I have moved changed - been shaken and stirred - comforted and disturbed.

I was 21
I was pulled by some greater force than feelings......
I decided to become .........
I knelt down and prayed ......
I felt no difference .....
I was just the same .........
But the journey had began .......
Life decisions were made with eyes wide open .....
I became a three diamensional
A 360 degree human becoming .......
I knew I was moving out of my lonely little isolated world with it's population of one ......

I remember shortly after beginning this new journey ...... I was on a Rugby Team Tour .......... and I knew I was different.
All the lads were in the Bar having their drinking games - line em up and beat the clock stuff.
I walked out of the crowd and down to the beach in front of the hotel and threw pebbles in the water ........
Thinking towards God
I was wrestling .....
I wanted to carry on drinking and playing rugby and getting on well with 'the boys' but...... also .......
I had a more I wanted to do - as well.
During those times I had a sense of always having God close
in that I could reach out my hand and there was a finger tip waiting to touch mine ...
I was being transformed and wondered how long it would take to be real and complete ........
Now .............. I understand it is about the journey and the continuos becoming .....

I have always wanted to be an effective lover
To be able to love
Love the unlovely
Love every human
Because
God is love
Love is God

I know I need love
to be loved
to give
receive
experience
hurt with it
joy with it
failure in it
yearn in it

It is only love when it is unconditional
I have it
I HAVE it
Given to me
I cannot
do that
But I am becoming and will not give up on it ................

"Who am I my God that you come to me
in tenderness and intimacy .................... "

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Hilde Ruedi
Georg and Ida







.... went into London Town last night to catch them as they flew into the UK for a few hours on the way home from Italy. Hilde is from Norway. Ruedi from Switzerland. The work their own organic farm in Norway while Hilde teaches in her extra time.

I first met the happy beautiful couple in Dassel in Kassel in Germany some 13 years ago. That is where they started kissing! At a YMCA International Conference.

It was wondrous to catch up, eat out at Belgos, walk the west end streets of London - and click pix .......

.... and in Church this morning the opening hymn was::
For all the Saints .... ....

.... there is a fab report on the BBC web-site here ....

.....and you may wish to consider voting for them when it comes to the BBC Team of the Year Award in the Sport Awards .......

WE WON
WE WON

... the Saints are coming ...

.... Champagne at Wilson Mansions at the moment .....

.... The Saints
Are Coming ... ... that is the title of the track by U2 and Green Day which you can hear playng on my PiPod.

The Saints are playing tonight in the Grand Final at Old Trafford ....... and maybe the song is about them eh?

I don't believe in praying we will win - but if you do - feel free to pray .....

... we have won the Challenge Cup this year and the league leaders cup ..... so now we are after the treble ...... but it will be tough tough brutal and skilled to extreme ...

If you have a chance to watch it on TV - please enjoy - it will be a fab game.
Joan and me will break into a bottle of Champagne if we win .........


you are beautiful
extreme .............


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... this is an item from the
SATURDAY
GUARDIAN
....... not sensational
just good solid work being done in a YMCA and all about kingdom coming in one persons life and I loveitloveit ......

Here is another wee slice of life from a Resisident in different YMCA .........

"I just wanted to send you this to tell you a few things i have been thinking after the first residents meeting here at YMCA Roxeth the other night..

I was really pleased to have met so may other of the residents and put some names to some faces it was a really great way of breaking the ice so to speak..

I also wanted to tell you that i thought it was a really great thing that we all came together to talk about everything and any queries that any of us may have had..

It's nice to know that all feelings and oppinions are not only wanted but talked through with yourself and all to really feel helped and supported..

I also wanted to take this oppertunity to thank you and the West London YMCA for giving me this support i have needed so much..and im sure when i say that, i speak for all of the residents here at Roxeth Gate..

It's great that we are going to be having regular meetings so that we can not only talk through any queries or problems we (the residents) and all working with us, may possibly have, but also just to catch up..

Pip (the godfather of the YMCA) was great and it would be good to see him again at meetings as he really cares and offers some great suggestions as to what to do and how to be which possibly allot of us (the residents) may never of had before..

So, thats all really, i just wanted you to know that i have really felt welcomed, comfortable and cared for..as im sure do all of the other residents, and its nice to think of all who live here at Roxeth as one big family, thanks to all of your support and care!!

So one last big thankyou to you and all of the team at Roxeth Gate.. "

.

...... leading into this eye operation on Tuesday .....
...... I have never had a 'general anaesthetic before.
So I hand my life over to the eye surgeon.
Act of faith I guess.

Interesting - when he was probing me months ago, when I went for the diagnosis, he was interested in what I did as a living and a mission.
I had just been reading the Guardian in my long waiting room parking place.
So I told him about the young man who I knew and was in the Guardian that day.
He had just been imprisoned for the murder of a 72 year old woman. I recognised the name in the paper and talked with him about such extreme deprivation and terrible crime.
A terrible crime.
We chatted about such as he probed my eye with a 3 inch long needle............

Yesterday my visit to France turned out to be Romford.
One big job was to move our bank from Nat Worst, after 40 years, to the Co-op Bank.
Ethical reasons only.
Glad.
Sorry it is so late.
40 years late!
It was for ethical reasons and because I had some head space to do it.

I felt like I had no pressure today - being on holiday. Unusual for me as I normally have a forthcoming big gig churning in my soul - which pushes anything domestic to the back burner.

So yesterday I felt relaxed with energy but sleepy/tired as soon as I sit down - that is relaxed!!
I am still making notes in preparation for the things I need to do - do you do that?

Is there anyone out there who is keen to curry near Newcastle - I am keen to come up that way to join a gang for a curry and a good evening out ....... I will encourage a few more of the London 'Platform 18' Curry Group to come and join you/us/me/you ......... say January February??

Just a though - just come to me ........ we could maybe do an iPod Show before that too????

............ you are beautiful ...............




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ps:: the pic is from the iPod Show - the meal afterwards .....

......is ageing is an issue for you
- in your family?

I am saying this, not knowing you, but guessing that you are touched in some way by the life of an elderly relative.
If not you - I guess someone close to you is living under some sort of pressure due to a beautiful human who is deteriorating in body mind or spirit.

My Mother lived for her last ten years with both legs amputated - one below and one above the knee.
She never lost he marbles.
She kept her faith, compassion, engagement, dignity and communicate-ability.
Even living with a wheelchair as 'stand in' legs, she led a life not confused.

(Note - she was not 'wheelchair bound' like some insensitive journalists and other insensitives say.
"I don't come with my wheel chair - my wheelchair comes with me"
say the activist wheelchair users.)

'Losing it' with any part of our life is tough.
Becoming confused and memory loss is a big one.
I meet humans who are so thought out and articulate and yet many seem to run into trouble with parents who have difficult behaviour.

(There is no such thing as a difficult human
- only difficult behaviour.)

So many grown up humans have difficulty being 'adult' with their own parents.
Particularly when older people begin to turn nasty or sometimes offensive.
So many times these relationships are seen as offensive rather than inadequacy.
So a grown up - 30 - 40 - or 50 year old will back off an inadequate parent because they are offended by behaviour.
In fact, so often, there is a reactive behavioural response - rather than a a personal mission-led response.

( If you have not seen - check my own mission statement under 'pearls' on home page I think)
If another humans behaviour dictates how we respond we are;
- a feather in the wind -
- a leaf in a stream -
- not response-able.

The alternative to to reactive behaviour is a decision about how we believe it is 'right' to behave, and then striving to do it.
Even with parents.
If we believe it is right to walk away from anyone who is offensive - most families will never ever talk.
If we believe in unconditional love - loving the human person but working at the weaknesses in 'behaviour' (ours and theirs!), we will be deciding how to communicate because it is 'best' - not just because;
"I feel uncomfortable/angry/sick/fed up/mad/putdown/disregarded/treated like muck ......... fill in your own words here .............. "

One of my principles is::
"We are responsible 'to' another person
- not responsible 'for' another person. "
==================================

If we are the latter - we will everyone who is near 'self harm' or 'suicide' or 'unstable' because we cannot cope.
Alternatively we will become so possessive and not be an aid to growth - only further oppression.
Being responsible 'to' - is giving what you have but at the same time believing that each human is responsible for themselves AND we cannot be responsible.

When did you become an adult?
I became an adult when I was about 40 years old!
It was as a result of the sorts of things above.

bBecoming


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