I felt miserable last night.I had been working at home and, as usual, I don't get off on sorting the mess called admin.
Myers Briggs tells me what I know.
I come alive with humans and not with paper.
I clocked my feelings and labelled them Miserable.
I know that Emotional Literacy means that.
I clock the feeling.
I understand the feeling.
I name it.
Here I am a student of Emotional Literacy
and I still felt miserable.
Stink
I did not feel oppressed
I did not feel destroyed
I did not feel depressed
I felt ............................
I knew I was feeling that way.
I offered them to the Divine.
I still had them.
Took them to bed.
Before midnight.
And I never go to bed the same day as I awake.
But - I did.
This morning I was kicking darkness until it bled daylight ..............
Today I was at work where me and others are redundant.
It was heavy man.
Uncertainty rules and it is not a great place to reside.
So I returned from work tired.
Emotions gain.
Thought I would tell you who I am.
If I hide behind a visor.
My armour.
In that I will feel more secure.
But you will not meet the me.
You will meet the mask.
Smiling happy me.
Not the real me with smiles and miserable bits too.
My armour protects me from feeling hurt
but it is also a shield to arrest my growth.
It is a barrier and a wall between us.
It will prevent you from getting to know the real me.
It will stop me from being me.
Stop me from being real.
Stop me from being free.
I have felt vulnerable today
with those are vulnerable.
I don't like these feelings.
I receive them because they are from
humans without armour plating.
real humans communicating and I feel it.
Walking in faith means walking in reality.
I want to walk in faith and believe.
Believe that God has the corners covered.
Believe that the humped back bridges
the lay bays
the traffic lights
are all part of the journey.
Me today.
to be continued .................
