...... I do group work as many times as I can and I want to paint you a picture of a session ......
...... every session new and different and ...... dynamic ....
A group of beautiful humans gather around a pile of sandwiches at lunchtime-ish.
Food is always an attraction to those who live in homeless hostels ........ but it is also an activity which builds a sense of community ....
After the consumption washed down with mugs of tea - always an act of quick disposal when breakfast has been missed due to chemical or other substance misuse from the night before.
I kick the group off from the informal chat into a leader led process which a group can get used to. The climate of trust needs to be established over many informal contact and snippets of conversations.
I hand out a paper which said that;
"a child from birth to age five gets 478 negative messages a day".
"Don't."
"Stop that."
"You little ..........!"
The paper has a list.
I spend very little time with that but move on quickly to -
I ask everyone if they saw a glass half empty or half full.
I ask around the group and everyone comments.
All gave sincere reflection to the question and a large percentage of a dozen or so humans present - answer and outwardly speak in the negative = a glass half full.
Introducing the session very informally - I suggest we look at the issue of 'positives and negatives'.
The next step is to try with something never attempted with a group/community before.
Everyone is given a slip and asked to write their own name on it and into the hat it goes.
Mine too.
The draw resulted in all having a name which was not their own.
My plea then was for each to say something positive about that person.
Even if they had never met before - a reality amongst a group with the moving population in a hostel.
It is fantastic....... I am thinking of a special time with a group .......
Everyone did it - even if some struggled and had to be helped/encouraged by the group members.
A brother to his sister was the slowest response. A real struggle for both of them to speak in the positive.
Also a 'first time' member of the group with a total strangers name in his hand.
He did it.
It was an affirmation communicated well about the persons clothing.
He did it.
I felt good to see and hear the words stumble out.
Real.
Then I moved in with some other questions;
1 Do you remember positives or negatives mostly from you life experiences?
2 Do you normally speak mostly in the positive or in the negative?
3 Do you think, generally, in positive or negative?
4 What are the feelings when you get a positive or negative comment from another human?
They did it.
We did it!
I am telling you about humans in the group who have met some pretty harsh experiences of;
- being rejected as a child
- seeing a friend stabbed to death
- abuse as a child
- mental health issues
- alcoholism
- drug misuse
- and a multiple mixture of these issues for some.
Not only did they say that the negatives in their lives have an impact now, they said what they were - owned them, named them, and not pretending and hiding behind a mask.
Faces stilled.
You know how sometimes the skin becomes drawn and passive - it is because the interior human is being disturbed and comforted at the same time.
Disturbed through the recall of life experiences.
Comforted by the support of the group - the realisation that they are not alone - and the first time facing of reality as it was..... and maybe is.
It was fantastic and powerful.
The session moved to close with a reaffirming of the objective which had been floated at the start.
1 Thinking and practising being positive.
2 Considering our reality in our daily lives. What do we do by habit?
3 Choosing to go down the positive route - a strategy for a new life.
I floated, lastly - these four life positions - soul positions - psychological positions;
1 I am not ok ................ you are not ok
2 I am not ok ................ you are ok
3 I am ok ...................... you are not ok
4 I'm ok ........................ you're ok
..... and they said which they were ..... because they had become aware of themselves ................ and to tell it ..... 'how they were' was important .
........ I hope you can position yourself 1 2 3 or 4 ............. ?
.......... other groups I lead are very different - and never the same people.
Also;
Different objectives, styles, tools.
......... and a stumbling to;
get close
and .......................... 'be'
and .......................... "become"
