Saturday, November 20, 2010


........ and so I am back from South Africa
Leaving Joan who was Conniepoping with 9 months old Connie
and dealing with the Police who came knocking on our door.

Back with my Gout but today the first day it is departing.
(It killed me on the 12 flight - not a wink)
So it lasted 7 days.
I felt an invalid when away.
I am not used to being ill
don't believe in it!!

Thank you to all who heard about my oldest brother dying while I was in South Africa and sent condolences in many different ways.

Arthur died alone in a Housing association flat in Leicester which is in the Midlands of England. He has left no will, no registered next of kin, a single man who I have not seen since my Mother died 2nd February, 18 years ago.

When he was in his twenties my Mother kicked him out of our home because he wouldn't get out of bed and go to work. My Father had died when I was 16 so my Mother went out to work in a factory in St Helens, Lancashire. Arthur was a time-served electrician and loved his Triumph Motor-Bikes but not working for a living.

Joan and I used to send him a birthday card and a Christmas card. Typical working class blokes, non of the four brothers have kept contact after our Mother died. We relied on spouses to keep the family connections. I sent an occasional letter with news of family.

Up to about three years ago he used to ring from the hostel public phone. It was always post Christmas. We chatted away well as we always did in the flesh.

He was the only one of us who didn't marry and have children - as far as we know! On Monday night/Tuesday we are travelling up to the flat he lived in. I know from the Police, who hunted us down after his death, that his flat was a workshop full of benches, circuit boards, tools and misc electrical equipment. We need to sort it out and see if he has left any official paperwork. We need to visit the coroner, registrar, undertaker and go through the routine before arranging the funeral.

Arthur always wore a boiler suit. He was know to do that until his death. He was always friendly. As a child I have no memories of any conflict with him - me being the demanding little brother. He never communicated well. I have never felt close to him. It is strange that my brother has died and there is hardly any emotion attached.

We were brought up in a family without much emotional literacy. My Mother was big and large on warmth but emotions were only expressed between the brothers when we fought each other. As always, I need to reflect on my/his life and doing that means I will blog it. I never want to pretend, Never want to hide reality.

Seven days ago I was hit with Gout for the second time in my life. A real pain. Today it is a s good as gone. Foot still aching in bed but swelling and pain gone. Seven days limping/disabled/distracted/South-Africa/flight/painkillers/anti-inflammatory medication/home/knackered/recovery - all a journey eh?

We will be busy away dealing with things and discovering more about my long distant brother. I have much to reflect on from the journey to Cape-town S Africa. The journey, the learning, the experiences, the reflections and
alongside that life rolls on through the rest of life.

I have not blogged for some time.
I will be back in action as soon as I can catch up on life.
But I will never stop writing
Lots on my iPhone from SA.

You are beautiful ...............