I find lots of bits of paper withthoughtsfeelingsnotes to self2 do'sOne today"touching humans"about how I touch humanssome warmsome stiffsome rigidsome recoilsome "I love a massage"One young beautiful humanused to be stiff rigid recoilbut now she says"You have not massaged me today"(I only do a one minute job as humans sit at their desks)"How come?" Pip speak,"you don't like anyone touching youbut you are up for a massage?""Well - you are Pip"Nice that init?A TV programme I captured for my workcalled 'Cut-up kids'about young humansabout self harm.I have learned a lot from humans regarding thisI have journeyed through with themsome savagesome silently secret.There is a massive issue in how it all connects with emotions.It one of my major interests and driveshow to understand the impact of the interior lifehow it impacts on the exterior behaviour.Saying "Just pull yourself together"is not only not good enoughit is insensitive and oppressive.There is a real inner 'emotional deprivation' herewhich creates some massivelack of self esteemand lack of confidence.Here is a poem written by a beautiful young human.She read it out at a group work session I was leadingthe discussion that followed was 'electric' .................ANNA=====She'll tryTo takeBreakmeShe knows meMy little weak headAt the end of every beautiful thoughtShe'll smash it with adistortionOne I dreadAnd smotheredI'll fightI'll fightIn circles I runTill I'm twisted and lost in her gamesHer funAnd to ignore sheHer anger bleedsAnd feedsMeToSee and feel meTill I walk in peaceBut for how long?I wish a day or twoBut youYouWon't let me beWon't let me loveOr love meAnd maybeBecause theyThemIn their greedDidn'tAnd couldn't love meYou didYou didFor a whileNursed me from every woundEvery tearBounced back from black rejectionButHere nowI've outgrown youFriendBitchAnnaTrendWho you areI don't knowJust leaveMePlease pleaseLet me goGo GROW Go
