Sunday, April 03, 2011

A young man of 25 killed by a bomb under his car.
A 22 year old woman murdered after she left a nightclub.
A 14 year old girl stabbed multiple times outside a school
A 5 year old girl shot in the chest by youngsters riding bikes.
All these in the UK.
All these wrench my gut.
Daily I view the news to see if anyone I know
has been stabbed
has been shot
or has shot someone .............

I feel a bit flat today.
Mrs Beautiful says it is because I have no pressure today.

I face a day of being a TAKER.
Not a day of being a MAKER.

Those bhp's unemployed
waking up daily
with nothing to do
have it tough
have it massive
having no motivation
no demands
no stretch.

I am used to being a MAKER.

I have not gigs until after Easter
Meetings YES
Writing jobs YES
Thinternet YES
but what drives me
what motivates me
What inspires me
Is you
What inspires me
Are beautiful humans

Church does not stretch me.
Belonging YES
Beautiful humans YES
Worship YES
but I need stretch .......

I need my soul scraping
Easter is coming
My soul needs spring cleaning
I need a respray of my soul.
I need to attack the cobwebs.
Dusty corners eradicated .....


Lots I write
never gets typed
never appears
never even read
by me

The process of writing/emotions/thoughts/reflections/
is powerful in itself
It takes me outside myself
It takes me inside myself ......................

I can never tell you
I can never tell anyone
Some of the things I do
My mission activities
My mission conversations
It would not be right
It would be wrong
It would change the human that I am.
I would not be trusted
and I believe I am.