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Sales and Membership Advisor, YMCA London South West Youth Café Manager, YMCA Somerset Coast Booking and Sales Coordinators, YMCA Somerset Coast Development Officer, YMCA Derbyshire Current vacancies, YMCA Black Country Duty Support Officer (Reception), YMCA West London Welfare Benefits Support Officer, YMCA West London Weekend Duty Support Officer (Reception), YMCA West London Duty Support Officer, YMCA West London Concierge Officers, YMCA Mendip Housing Support Worker, YMCA East Surrey Assistant Accountant, YMCA Somerset Coast School Cook, YMCA London South West Release YMCA Administrator, YMCA London South West Assistant Key Worker, YMCA London South West Assistant Youth Worker, YMCA Bournemouth HR Officer, YMCA Birmingham MyPlace Coordinator, YMCA Bournemouth Lead Youth Worker, YMCA Worcestershire Receptionist (First Stop Services Officer), YMCA East London Accommodation Engagement Officers, YMCA Suffolk Duty Officer, YMCA London South West Finance Officer (Payroll, Banking and Admin), YMCA London South West Chef, YMCA East London Finance Officer (Accounts Payable), YMCA London South West Families Team Coordinator, YMCA Norfolk Part-time Cleaner, YMCA Reading Children’s Centre Manager, YMCA East Surrey Safeguarding Officer, YMCA Bournemouth *

The first essential skill of a people worker is ........

Group observation - dynamics .....

I read a poem online - I need to share this with you - I thought ...... The Shadow Me

Chris Redfern (Christine) Psychotherapist, singer/songwriter and Published Poet

I'm Chris Redfern. I was a teacher for many years working with students  from the age of 5-18 years of age. I also did a project working with young offenders and worked for 14 years with young people who became permanently excluded from school.

I trained to be a psychotherapist 12 years ago and now work independently as a therapist in schools and believe whole-heartedly that people can change.

It's a great truism that many therapists and people involved in supporting others are ‘wounded healers’. They have travelled a path where they have learned to heal their wounds and have a desire to aid others on their journey. I experienced depression many years ago, way before I knew anything about therapy and I discovered through my journey of therapy and the psychotherapy training that I had shut down many parts of who I am  in order to survive emotionally.

As I did my psychotherapy training, poetry and songs poured out of me, describing my history, my struggles, my healing, my therapy and my growth. In 2013 I sang three songs at an International Psychotherapy Conference that I thought  I had written about students I had worked with. Little did I realise  at the time that my story lay within the lyrics too. I was both overwhelmed and touched by the response from an audience of 150-200 therapists but feeling encouraged by their support I recorded an album called ‘Your Life –Making Contact through Songs’ and sold copies at the next International conference in Bilbao in 2015.

Throughout my journey of personal development as well as writing songs I started to write poetry so I decided to publish some of my poems in a book that was published in 2015 called ‘Shades of Self – Poetic Integration’ with a Foreword written by renowned Psychotherapist Richard G Erskine.

The book and CD are available from www.ypdbooks.com in the United Kingdom. I have a YouTube account, 60 Tilley, where you can view some of the songs I've written and some poetry I read from my book. I'm also on Twitter.

I hope readers will identify with the words. Look me up on my website: www.christineredfern.co.uk

Pip saw one of my poems ‘The Shadow Me’ from my book on the Manchester Institute of Psychotherapy site and asked me to write something for his website. Thank you Pip for your invitation. Pip says on his site that he didn't become an Adult until he was 40! I didn't become an Adult until my 50’s so there's hope for us all 👍!!!

We all have parts of ourselves we disown because we don't like certain aspects.

We also learn to adopt certain behaviours for various reasons – my reasons were to keep out of trouble, to be ‘good’ and to avoid being hit. We learn to stay quiet although inside we probably want to scream and shout! In staying quiet we adapt to please those around us but in doing so we lose parts of who we really are are and stay in what TA theory calls a Child ego state where we can often feel just like we have travelled back in time and we’re 6 years old!

This poem writes about my learned behaviour and shows me recognising that I wanted and needed to change.

The Shadow Me

I've always thought there are two of me

Walking side by side

One is there for the world to see

While the other one tries to hide

One is kind and loving

Staying calm and in control

Being polite and smiling

Playing the perfect role

The shadow side is darker

And wants to swear and shout

Is sometimes having a tug-of-war

To let her anger out 

The two sides have a battle

Almost every day

But my Inner Child behaves herself

And doesn't have her say

For my Inner Child was conditioned

To be seen and not be heard

Not to think and not to feel

And not to breathe a word

My shadow's getting restless

And wants to play her part

She's really tired of hiding and

She knows it's time to start

She's tired of being a shadow

Locked up out of view

She wants to share her feelings

She thinks they're overdue

My shadow side is standing

And showing me the way

My Inner Child now needs to grow

Speak out and have her say

My shadow side is merging 

She's standing side by side 

She wants to help my other part

The part that's been denied

When the two parts integrate

I will feel much more together

A healthier combination

Facing any kind of weather

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If you really want PEACE ........

***************************************************

“If you want peace 

you don’t talk to your friends. 

You talk to your enemies” 

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- Desmond Tutu.

When feeling ANNOYED ................

When feeling annoyed 

don't press the off button 

(feelings are human signals 

- feel them 

- receive them

- Welcome them)

AND

press pause button and think why 

YOU HAVE 

those feelings

They are your feelings. 

www.pipwilson.com

"People on a big line of jogging machines, facing a wall, facing a television, with headphones on." - I scream !!

I was in the gym the one day and Jane, one of our young mums, approached me, asked how our Smoking Policy was going on, questions about the crèche and also a Body Fat monitor. 

I did something about this straight away, but she also said that another, and newest gym in our community, had brand spanking new facilities but was full of, "People on a big line of jogging machines, facing a wall, facing a television, with headphones on."

Facing a wall!!

Facing people - each other is the way - building community by building relationships - eye contact - smiles ..... all lead to better relationships .......

No community! No interaction! Facing the WALL!

I scream at this point.

The design of a building can help to create community and/or not create community. Our gym is a fantastic place of people meeting each other and chatting where the machines are faced so people can face people. Programmes can build community.

You have heard about the old days when there were rows and rows of terraced houses in the UK. There used to be street parties and doorstep chats and people walking in and out of each others homes as if they lived there. It was spoiled in later years when they upended the terraces and turned them into tower blocks. People desired to be semi-detached and then fully detached. If you can afford it you then have your own drive and even your double drive. All this works for separation rather than community.

We are spent hours and days with a teams of people from different areas looking at the re-design of our reception area and entrance lobby for instance. This was done strategically.

We want the reception to be open, safer, not closed off with a big glass screen. It is a place with warm colours and warm, lighting.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

This is an extract from my book:: 

GUTTER FEELINGS

DETAILS HERE

If I could get you to read ONE book of mine

it would be the one with

60 years of my journey in it.

called Gutter Feelings 

- the 2012 edition.

http://www.lulu.com/shop/pip-wilson/gutter-feelings/paperback/product-20334801.html

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Blob Tree Maslow + Blob Needs, Blob Id Ego Superego, Blob Shadows, Blob Level 5

Blob Theoretical Collection

Full collection of Blob scenes with a theoretical theme, includes : Blob Maslow (colour & b&w), Blob Needs, Blob Id Ego Superego, Blob Shadows, Blob Level 5 (2 versions), Blob Okay, Blob Parent/ Adult/ Child, Blob Retention, Blob SWOT, Blob Anger Circle, Blob Child/ Teen/ Adult (colour & b&w), Blob Enneagram, Blob HALT (2 versions)

Black & White & Colour versions (where available) all included

A total of 17 Blob Scenes in this pack (including black & white and colour variants)

HERE - more details and downloads - HERE

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I have worked with many #groups who have strong feelings #raging through their frames.

This is PART of the Blob Mental Health Tree

I have worked with many #groups who have strong feelings #raging through their frames.

Some of the toughest feelings are #MentalHealth related and

........ so many I work with will walk toward an image like this, presented on a projection screen, and stick a sticker where they ARE - how they are #FEELING.

AND then some are unable to speak - others stumble out words when there is a climate of trust.

BUT the ones who cannot yet speak - they are on the road of #spilling their feelings - finding some #release and way forward - they are on their way .....

BLOB MENTAL HEALTH TREE 

helping people to place their finger on 

where they ARE - and 

where they would like to journey - TO BE.

MAGICAL DEVELOPMENTAL EXPERIENCE 

especially in a group in any context

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Most people have used the ONE Blob Tree yet there is more than 40 Blob Trees

DIP IN THIS PLACE TO SEE MORE

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SUNSET BUBBLE