Monday, October 31, 2005


I have been with humans today with questions flowing and I loveit loveit ...... I have been stirred with new questions today and I have shared them with a few and will with you as soon as these stubby fingers have the chance to click your way ......

I am touched by the ;
Beautiful Imperfection
in me and also in others ......
...... there s a level of communication which is special and that is when we are touched by our own vulnerability ......... in me - it moves me deep - from others it touches me like God himself is reaching out and placing his finger tip on my soul .....


Being with humans stimulates and my mind recalled this experience from a few years ago ......

........ the story. My story.......
I have sometimes communicated in this blog dipping place, and you who may have read about it if you have clicked this way before.
I have told about when I was working in the East End of London.

Working with youth street gangs giving my all beyond breaking point.
Demanding it was.

Giving it was.

My Mother was about to enter hospital to have her legs amputated - one above the knee, one below the knee.
Here I was in East London, in the most deprived community in the nation working with beautiful humans who were deep into crime and enjoying violence and .......... my Mother was due to enter hospital over 200 miles away.

I was sat near the snooker table in the club.
Back to the wall.
I always sit with my back to the wall.
The young humans I work with had heard about my Mother and of what was about to happen.
I was subdued that evening and not my usual bustling, bouncy, verbal self.

As I sat with my back to the wall near to the snooker table - one of the toughest of the gang members walked around the table a couple of times. Walking ever so slow - walking ever so closee - but not stopping .....
Then, as he walked past me again, and as he did he just stroked my hair away from my forehead and walked on.
........... that was the point when the sobs rose from my chest as I felt it - that act of beautiful tenderness ....... As I click these keys now tears fill my eyes - again.


I choked, I think, because I was at a depth of vulnerability I felt and I connected with those feelings - felt that.
Also it was because I connected with the act of non-verbal sensitivity, gentleness and kindness pouring out of an inarticulate frame of a tough and violent young man.
I remembered it now and it moves my soul ..........

I learned a lot from that incident of care.
That incident was not a chosen moment of vulnerability.

But I learned that it is a mistake to see vulnerability as a weakness.
Vulnerability is all about disclosing the authentic me.


Since then I have chosen, and tried my best, to reveal my vulnerability.
Not because I am submissive (instead of assertive) or in Child ego state (instead of Adult ego state).
It is part of the process of me 'telling you who I am'.
It has driven my sensitivity towards 'the least' 'the underside' and many beautiful humans I spend time with regularly who some say have 'special needs' .......... .......haven't we all?

So with the people we work with - some people call them clients, and those we work alongside - some say colleagues ..... it seems to me that we need to practice the naked act of sharing when we feel life experiences ...... both the roses and the thorns.

The one who came and shared and walked and hurt and wept alongside human kind ......... he who was rich became poor ....... HE was the one who, powerful enough to turn water into wine and make a blind man see, chose strategically to show his vulnerability even unto .......... Beautiful Perfection......

.......... the thorns ............