Sunday, October 09, 2005

...... I feel .......

'Why am I afraid to tell you who I am"
is my favourite book.

It is also something which I am committed to do - be - become.

I feel now;

Rested - I felt tired last week and I did not relax until last night. Now I feel ....
Ready - for the week ahead. I have never lived for the w/e. I have always lived for a life of 'mission' and worked hard an re-created hard ..... not for pleasure but to be refreshed to give out .... but I love the pleasure and feel ..
Yearning - a sort of yearning to stretch. To be - and yet become ......... I feel .....
Restless - and I want that ..... and as usual I filled up up with a tear when the choir soured with 'Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world ...... ' this morning. I am always thinking and never still until - until ....... that moment comes upon me ever now and again ........... and I am touched beyond words and beyond the being and the becoming ............... it is a moment of stillness of the heart ...........

Pain - I have an old rugby injury with my left knee ......... About 40+ years ago I was tackled by three big forwards and they swung around me like a carousel whilst, at the same time, my left foot was stuck deep in mud. The knee took the strain and the hospital bandaged me up so my knee was a foot thick in support structures. I remember taking out my new girl friend, in my little Morris Minor van, to a 'dance' on Frodsham Hills. She had a Hockey injury too. I had difficulty with the clutch pedal but this early romance was a real driving factor. I loved her then - still do. Joan - and we have been married 41 years as of last week.

Pain - has come to me in the last few weeks as my knee seems to stiffen up when I sit for a while and then I hop around in pain for a while.

Groove-full - that is a feeling too. I am getting some wondrous satisfaction from listening to a DJ on 1Xtra called Benji B. He plays out on d radio at 12 midnight Thursdays. I download and carry it with me on my iPod. The grooves thrill, relax, excite, satisfy .......... I have feelings here too.

Deep - this is my last feeling to share with you.
I have asked a new question to some humans this week.
It excites me - the question - the answers.

But I have not answered it myself yet.
The question is;- "How do you love people?"

How do you .................