In the last week I have seen
a TV programme called
"I hate Mum."
Powerful.
About two boys,
one ten and the other sixteen.
Both at war with their Mum.
Both undergoing family therapy.
Secondly the full length British movie
'Fish Tank"
About a young 15 year old girl
living in an urban environment.
Into hip-hop and dancing.
The sort of environments I have
lived in,
worked in
- loved in.
Also the sort of dysfunctional family
that many of the beautiful humans
I know - have come from.
The former TV programme
featured the behaviour of the two boys.
The inability of a parent to cope
but also glimpses of the inner
pain they both carried.
It was so painful.
I was -
Identifying with their Mothers.
Identifying with the youngsters.
The Family workers used methods different
than mine but with the same objectives.
Trying to get them to talk about
their inner feelings
rather than demonstrate their pain by
kicking off.
I felt so deeply for them both.
In the UK you can see the programme
on the BBC iPlayer free, but do it soon.
When you watch it, look beyond the behaviour.
You cannot miss the behaviour - in your face.
But if you see deeper, you can see their pain
and an inner human trying to peek out.
The FISH TANK movie - wow.
(It is just out on DVD)
Is was painful viewing for me.
So close to home.
A dysfunctional family
with a wild and lost daughter.
So aimless without a nest.
Without a human person
who lacked emotional capacity to love.
Without the resources to bring
to being a successful parent.
I hated it.
It gripped me by the throat.
It crawled under my skin
and planted eggs of hurt.
Why do I tell about these?
because these motivate me.
They set me on fire to love.
Set me on fire to be amongst
Set me on fire to learn to - do.
QUESTIONS::
Are you keeping in feelings?
Unresolved hurts?
Is your behaviour, sometimes, regretted?
Can you see stuff spilling out
as behaviour?
Well - talk to someone who can help
you talk it out.
We need the guts to spill.
Are you parent with inability to love?
Are you at war with your kids?
Or - at least a tug of war?
Have you the emotional capacity to
love beyond behaviour?
Do you love the person inside
rather than just deal with the behaviour?
WELL - talk to someone - so often
it is pride that holds us back.
Get to a place/person
where you have time/space/pace
to let things ease out.
You are beautiful
and
we can always walk on ..........
