Saturday, December 03, 2011


.....IAMONATRAIN.......

I feel a bit low today
but I feel it melting
as the day trips over noon.

But I want to capture
the feelings
because I want to know why?
Why do I feel this way today?

Feelings are signals.
What is the signal?

Knowing my feelings,
feeling them,
owning them,
dissecting them
is important to me.
It is part of discovery journey.
The road I want to travel -
to understand me -
to understand others -
to feel deep empathy.
Care/Sensitivity/Love.

I could give a lot more in relationships.
But I have been to the edge.
I know boundaries better.
I know about fear
I know about error
I know about failure
But, I would rather fail on the edge
because, I believe that
growth does not reside
in a place called comfortable.

I have decided that 'ease' is not OK.
Black and white is not OK.
Comfortable is not OK.

I want to reside in a place called
un-ease/discontent.
And by living there
learning, accepting, wanting
to be in that place,
we can be open to the normality
of constant change
evaluation
re-focus
discovery
learning
and being the opposite of
conservative.

I am on a train now.
I write on trains,
airports, waiting rooms,
away from cluttered office/life/computer.

When I am out
I let it out.
Writing does that to me.
Letting it out to myself
Letting it out to you.

You matter.
Without you
I could not be who I am.
Without you
I could not become
all that I can become.

I have a love that will not let me go -
and I want to hang on in there too.


"We become fully conscious
only
of what are able to express
to someone else.
We may already have had
a certain inner intuition
about it,
but it must remain vague
so long as it is unformulated"
Paul Tournier
from "The Meaning of Persons


"In times of change
the learners
will inherit the earth
while the knowers,
will find themselves
beautifully equipped
to deal with a world
that no longer exists."
Eric Hoffer