You and I
DICTIONARY
you
|yoō|
pronoun [ second person
singular or plural ]
1 used to refer to the
person or people that the speaker is addressing : are you listening? | I love
you.
• used to refer to the
person being addressed together with other people regarded in the same class :
you Australians.
• used in exclamations
to address one or more people : you fools | hey, you!
2 used to refer to any
person in general : after a while, you get used to it.
You make me sick
You make me mad
You always do this
You are very irritating
You are stupid
You make me feel
terrible
You make me feel ugly
You make me feel angry
You make me feel sad
You make me feel
hopeless
No-one makes you feel.
You feel your own
feelings
They are inside you
The feelings belong to
you.
Feelings can be
triggered by another.
YOU - the word
is not the best word to
start a sentence
not the best chance of
a positive
interaction
dialogue
discussion
exchange
relationship.
Non verbal
communication (NVC),
together with 'you'
starting sentences,
(what we are NOT saying
is more powerful than
words)
are usually a pointed
finger
or table banging
and a screwed up face.
This person is not
managing emotions well.
The ' I ' starting
sentences however ....
I feel sad that you
said that
I feel frustrated
I feel terrible
I feel ugly
I feel angry
I feel sad
I feel hopeless.
You are sharing your
feelings here.
You are sharing your
unique self,
undressing the soul.
Disclosing feelings
without dumping them on
another.
The NVC here is often
palm resting on own
chest
or open palms.
'I', the use of 'I',
at the front end of a
sentence
is owning those
feelings.
Those feelings residing
in your gut,
those feelings rising
up through the chest,
those feelings
desperate to spit out of the mouth,
an act of fight, not
flight,
unless you use
emotional intelligence.
When we use ' I '
we are managing our
emotions
(I don't like the word
control because often
feelings are being
stifled, locked in, whereas
'managing' feelings
means
we are deciding how to
communicate
NOT being a reactor.
That skill, called
emotional intelligence,
(always developing
never fully developed)
nurtures the ability to
manage feelings.
NOT letting them manage
you -
and the the resulting
surge up through the
chest
the spitting of words
the damaging of
relationships
and our own self
esteem.
Lingering
regrets!
I believe that this
small item of
Social and Emotional
Learning
can be practiced
and
be an additional tool
in the toolbox of life.
BHP
