Monday, November 27, 2017

That skill, called emotional intelligence ...................

You and I


you       |yoō|

pronoun [ second person singular or plural ]

1 used to refer to the person or people that the speaker is addressing : are you listening? | I love you.

• used to refer to the person being addressed together with other people regarded in the same class : you Australians.

• used in exclamations to address one or more people : you fools | hey, you!

2 used to refer to any person in general : after a while, you get used to it.

You make me sick

You make me mad

You always do this

You are very irritating

You are stupid

You make me feel terrible

You make me feel ugly

You make me feel angry

You make me feel sad

You make me feel hopeless

No-one makes you feel.

You feel your own feelings

They are inside you

The feelings belong to you.

Feelings can be triggered by another.

YOU - the word

is not the best word to start a sentence

not the best chance of a positive






Non verbal communication (NVC),

together with 'you' starting sentences,

(what we are NOT saying

is more powerful than words)

are usually a pointed finger

or table banging

and a screwed up face.

This person is not managing emotions well.

The ' I ' starting sentences however ....

I feel sad that you said that

I feel frustrated

I feel terrible

I feel ugly

I feel angry

I feel sad

I feel hopeless.

You are sharing your feelings here.

You are sharing your unique self,

undressing the soul.

Disclosing feelings

without dumping them on another.

The NVC here is often

palm resting on own chest

or open palms.

'I', the use of 'I',

at the front end of a sentence

is owning those feelings.

Those feelings residing in your gut,

those feelings rising up through the chest,

those feelings desperate to spit out of the mouth,

an act of fight, not flight,

unless you use emotional intelligence.

When we use ' I '

we are managing our emotions

(I don't like the word control because often

feelings are being stifled, locked in, whereas

'managing' feelings means 

we are deciding how to communicate

NOT being a reactor.

That skill, called emotional intelligence,

(always developing never fully developed)

nurtures the ability to

manage feelings.

NOT letting them manage you -

and the the resulting

surge up through the chest

the spitting of words

the damaging of relationships

and our own self esteem.

Lingering regrets! 

I believe that this small item of 

Social and Emotional Learning

can be practiced and 

be an additional tool

in the toolbox of life.