Wednesday, May 28, 2003

"I slashed my arm to the bone"
"I have just come out of mental hospital"
Words said as 'first words' to me.
I feel pleased because the first person has just said their first words to me EVER ............. up 'till now there has been avoidance. So I am pleased.

Accepting people as they are is always the right thing but not always the easy thing. I hate to say this but, I sometimes have an inner 'cringe' at the disaster of a life lived. Outside my first hand experience. Outside ........ the on show me ......... is a sensitive and loving me, not shocked, not cringing away ......and that is real. I have the deepest of feelings for the damaged souls. It comes down to the soul. It is not just body damage, not just mental damage, not just a lifetime of rejection ........ it is soul damage. Damaged by a collection of the above and sometimes more, and stuff we will never will know.

The damage it can do to my soul ............. it is draining and the need and skill and awareness to stay positive and loving and blessing people is a drain. That is why I need you. Need my friends. Need people who love me and accept me. That is soul food. That is the thing I live for. Giving till it hurts and receiving like the thirsty ........ I am!

So I do these things. I write and reflect and learn. I need to write because, that too, is soul food.

If you have stuck with me to the backside here. Thanx.
I will reflect again and ........ the iPod is .......IS...... fantastic.