Monday, July 06, 2009


Maybe the most important element to positive relationships is by being in touch with our own interior.

Become a much travelled person.

Much travelled in internal matters.

Experienced in getting in touch with our own feelings.

Experienced in managing them. This is often called Emotional Literacy or Emotional Intelligence.

The big issues in this area are simplified by me under five points


1 Every time you feel a feeling, give it a name. This may sound strange because we have feelings every mili-second but - I am referring to the feelings which stand out from the crowd. The special pleasant one and more important, the not so nice one. This act of naming feelings will give you you literacy - inner you, the important you. The emotionally literate you.

2 Capture the strength of a feeling when you feel it. Hold it in your hand so to speak. Use it as a tool. A learning tool.
Try not to control it, supress it, but manage it.

3 Give special attention to the anger, jealousy, envy and negative feelings generally.
Turn the emotion around into examination of it. Take it by the throat and use the energy to understand it. Reverse it into a positive feeling - use it. Do something with it. When I watch a movie or TV and see a fictitious character, or a real life person, who's behaviour or attitude, I don't like I ask why? Why don't I? What are my feelings? What is the behaviour? Why is this person behaving this way?
I am taking the energy from my own emotions and using it.

4 If you only spend time with humans just like yourself - same social strata, it will be harder to develop emotionally. Deliberatly spend time with those who are different. The more extreme the better. Do the above with them. Learn from them. Working with 'the hard to reach' is a great challenge but massive in terms of learning.

5 All feelings are yours - not another persons. Feelings inside you are yours. "He made me feel angry" cannot be a a correct statement because nobody makes us feel.
We feel. They behave. They have attitudes. They can be nasty or beautiful. Both ends of the spectrum can stimulate our feelings. And - they need human persons in their lives who are getting to grips with their own emotional literacy. ::Pip Wilson.