Saturday, July 18, 2009

My Life is Disfigured

Here I am in my normal state of disfunction, with the additional moves and grooves to decant from Wilson Mansions.

My life is planning forward whist, at the same stinking time, I am stumbling upon so many reminders from my/our past.

Found this week::
Love letter from our early days
Training notes from session 4o years ago - and since.
Loads of 45s
LP's - every one gushing with memories places and feelings.
Pictures I never remember seeing.
Slides which intend to get digitised.
Journals from over fifty years.
Recordings/professional reflections.
Written works of mine which will create several books.
Newspaper clippings.
Press releases.
Magazine columns I used to write for magazines and newspapers.
Diaries going back to 1956.
8 Track tapes - you may not know of these predecessors to the cassette tape.
Amps and speakers and decks and wires wires.
Speaking engagement notes.
Television interviews.
U2 posters - massive and beautiful
School exercise books and reports for all the four of us.
Play Family and other toys.
Birthday cards and postcards.
Incident reports - some really violent ones.
Cavern Club membership card where I took Joan on our first date.
You can tell I have been doing time in the attic - including today when little Sheila came over to help.
I am truly out of joint with normal life.

I am listening to Spotify which I captured as it plays my fav artistes free.
I am sipping peppermint tea - now always since Countreau went out of the budget.
I am surrounded by half full boxes - we had 80 delivered two days ago!

But tomorrow it is Church followed by a day of visiting friends to sip Champagne and eat wondrous food.
And this week it is Dublin to see U2 - the Sheilas have just returned from seeing them in Nice and are full of it full of it.
AND the good news is Joy gets back from Barbados, work!, on the day we are removing from here to our new Mini-Mansions home - she can help hey hey.

I have decided that, in the next few days I need to pack a case for my visit to Norway, before Greenbelt, and also for Greenbelt and keep them in my boot so I can find my necessities midst the 80 box chaos!

All the above without really mentioning 'feelings' - naughty naughty.
I am feeling generally good.
Bouts of tiredness which makes me crash some days.
Accepting all the change in my head, heart and emotions.
Expectant that it will be odd going through the removal zone but all so when we pas through the 'boxes-empty-disposed-of-zone.
What will I do in this other life!!

I think it will help having some big gigs straight after Greenbelt, which I need to prepare before the move hmm.
These gigs will demand intensive prep and I will forget my geography and focus on objectives, delivery, content and loving ..........

The sort of Facilitation I conduct is called 'Experiential'.
I learning experience happens in the room.
Reflections follow.
We all learn from each other.
All the above is a learning experience!

I was awake at six this morning. Packing boxes in my head.
I accept that. Get up. Peppermint tea. Start boxing.

I never saw the morning til I stayed up all night
I never saw the sunshine til you turned out the light
I never saw my hometown until I stayed away too long
I never heard the melody, until I needed a song.

I never saw the white line, til I was leaving you behind
I never knew I needed you til I was caught up in a bind
I never spoke i love you til I cursed you in vain,
I never felt my heartstrings until I nearly went insane.

I never saw the east coast til I move to the west
I never saw the moonlight until it shone off your breast
I never saw your heart til someone tried to steal,
Tried to steal it away
I never saw your tears until they rolled down your face
Tom Waits..