Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Funeral day reflections

I am tired.
I don't intend to be miserable.
It is just coming naturally.

It is strange::
Having a funeral
for a stranger
who is also my brother.

It is strange::
To think
to feel
that someone
could have no friends.

It is strange::
That we had 8 family members
at my brother's funeral.
No friends.
He lived all alone.
He died alone.

It is strange::
Being together
with my two remaining brothers
the first time for 18 years.

It is strange::
To be thinking more about my Mother
during the funeral service
more than Arthur, my brother.

It is strange::
To feel at ease
with a Christian
committal service
and not know anything
about Arthur's
Spiritual life.
Social life.
Relational life.
His life ........

It is strange::
To think of Arthur
being my Mother's
first born baby
80 years ago.

It is strange::
Having no real strong emotions
during my brother's funeral
- but many reflections.

It is strange::
Yesterday to come close
to my two remaining brothers
but it was so good to be with them.

It is strange::
To have to return
next week
to view his flat
for the first time
and clear it
of any personal items.
To close his affairs.
Tie any knots.
End his legal existence.

It is strange
Life is strange
and all here
to learn from.

How do we live
How do we die?

Pip Wilson
7th December 2010