Tuesday, June 18, 2013

YMCA REFLECTIONS, 'found' on my Mac today.


Stepping into the YMCA Restaurant at the evening dinner time is always an experience. 
The tables are scattered around the room, seating 6 or 4 maximum. 
Friends gather together. 
Noise in one corner, loud laughter in another, over-loud talking a lone person on one or two tables. 
You clock the new ones. 
There are always new people in a hostel of 150. 
Others, once new, are observed integrating into existing groups.

As you turn from the servery with your laden meal tray there is a decision to be made. 
For new people this is the peak of anxiety. 
Where to sit? How to follow the social norms? 
For 'people workers' there is a different anxiety. 
Do you dive in sit amongst a group who you don't know? 
The most disruptive? 
Or with those you feel at ease or with staff? 
All have their time and place.
I have just been in the YMCA restaurant, and afterwards retreated to my office to record this as an experience. I sat down talking to three residents, two young men, one young woman. 
After the initial greetings and exchanges I said 
"Tell me one thing which is on your mind at the moment?". 
Two out of the three of them, said "Money" and the other one said "Work" 
I often find myself asking questions.

Trevor was thinking about work. Has got worries about his employment and his working hours because he works night shift all the time. I asked him gently how much he has in his pocket at the end of one week? If he was debt free? I knew he was struggling with debt having listened a number of times to his stresses. I asked him "Having paid your rent at the YMCA, what do you have left in your pocket?" His answer was "£160". The others on the table expressed astonishment he had so much money to play with. The fact is he is in debt with his rent at the YMCA, has also got a bank loan, and struggles to pay any of them.

Mick is unemployed. His only income is from benefits. He said that to live for two weeks, having paid YMCA rent - he has £14 in his pocket. He quickly added that he had to pay for toiletries and everything! Kerry said "Do you know what I've got to live on for two weeks after rent and other things? I have to live on £6 a fortnight out of my giro, that means £3 a week".


Friendly abuse was then exchanged across the table, one accusing another of why don't you get out to work and earn some money and stop moaning. I joined in on the conversation and said I understood totally how somebody can't work if they are emotionally drained, battered by life and not coping with other things. Steve said if you have got no confidence and motivation it is very difficult to be able to handle going out and earning - when you are feeling so bad about yourself. We went on to discuss how many other people in the dining room had similar problems. Maybe 90% or more of the people would be able to say the number one thing on their mind is money!

The names were changed but then changed again to their real names. 
They have read this and agreed for me to share it.

Pip Wilson
30th January 2001