Sunday, June 28, 2020

I am 'kicking darkness until it bleeds daylight.' (Bruce Cockburn lyric)

I was sat on the tube train.
It has been 16 weeks in lockdown since this happened.

I was with my beloved on this occasion.

I felt like moving my hand over on to her lap.

I didn't.
I clocked the feeling though.
It made me think.
Sometimes in bed in a morning, 
those silent moments 
before the mind follows the body out of slumber 

I just flop my arm over to her and she strokes it!
In other occasions, 
like on a flight - in the car, 
I do that - she does that.


One of my two remaining brothers
lost his wife last week.
Bless you Pat.
She was a great adult friend to me
in my teenage years.

I used to call on her for a chat
on my way home after BB - Youth Work project.
An adult friend to me
as my brother - her husband, 
was in the forces in Egypt.


It made me think
There are lots of little things which we would miss 
if we lost our partner.

Not just the big things.

That day on the tube - I felt - I thought::
Thank God for feelings
Thank God for reflections.
Thank God for that touch of a hand.

I feel I can stretch out my hand towards God at anytime.
Feel that comforting response.
Maybe it is our finger tips which are touching.
............... always a response ................


I am sipping pink wine.
Clicking to you - 
MrsBeautiful is reading a book.

Strange woman - 
she reads one book at a time.

I have about seven or eight books on the go - 
I dip!

I am clicking lockdown keys
in our flat lounge 
with my Mac on my knee - 
I have

Music in my ears which you can listen to FREE
right now every day.
WORLDWIDEfm radio - a Gilles Peterson creation.

I have beautiful vibes plugged into my soul ……. 


I don’t feel ill
I am alive - even if there is cancer inside.
I am 'kicking darkness
until it bleeds daylight.'
(Bruce Cockburn lyric)


U2 have just sent me a DVD
of the final gig of their tour
‘Live in Berlin'


On my mind is
'Team Building'
'Team Working'.
(Both are needed)
Often there is neither.

I love facilitating training with teams.
Missing it right now.

If there is no structured opportunity for a team 
to express their true feelings,

and their reflective thinking - 
the vacuum leaves festering whispering

and dissatisfied humans - 
unhappy I would say.


Who do you reach out to for a touch?
Who is the most 'touch friendly' human in your life?
Do you make the first move?
Do you wait, always, for another?
Can you love like you have never been hurt?

Do you seek music which uplifts your soul?
Do you stay with your choice from adolescence?

Are you a member of a team and whisper a lot?
Do you work towards creating fertile soil 
in terms of openness and sensitive sharing of feelings?

Are you a team leader who doesn't structure in regular 
safe spaces for sharing of feelings, thoughts, vulnerabilities ...?

Do you know how those working besides you are feeling?
Do the humans working alongside you, know how you are feeling?

How do you reach out and touch finger tips 
with your Creator?
When? - time of day?
Where? - place on earth?
Will you come stretch with me ...........................?

you are beautiful ………………..

I WAS THERE .................... LOVE IT LOVE IT ................